by Anonymous

but nineteen incident occurred thrown shadow over my life; and, ah me ! and many weary year has dragged by since then ! Young, happy, and beloved in those long-departed days They said that beautiful The mirror now reflects haggard old woman, with ashen lips and face of deadly pallor But fancy that listening to mere puling lament the flight of years that has brought me this wreck former self: had it been so borne the loss cheerfully, patiently, common lot of all; but no natural progress of decay robbed me of bloom, of youth, hopes and joys that belong to youth, snapped the link that bound my heart to another's, and doomed me to lone old age I try patient, but my cross heavy, and my heart is empty and weary, and I long death that comes so slowly who pray to die

try and relate, exactly as it happened, the event which blighted my life Though it occurred many , no fear that forgotten any minutest circumstances: they were stamped on my brain too clearly and burningly, like the brand of red-hot iron them written wrinkles brow, dead whiteness hair, glossy brown once, and has known no gradual change from dark to gray, from gray to white, as with those happy ones who were the companions girlhood, and whose honored age is soothed love of children and grandchildren But not envy them I only meant difficulty task has no connection with want of memory--I remember but too well But as I take my pen my hand trembles, my head swims, the old rushing faintness and Horror comes over me again, well-remembered fear is upon me Yet go on

This, briefly, is my story: great heiress, I believe, though I cared little fact; but so My father had great possessions, and no son to inherit after him His three daughters, of whom I youngest, were to share the broad acres among them said, and truly, that I cared little circumstance; and, indeed, so rich then in health and youth and love that myself quite indifferent to all else The possession of all the treasures of earth could never up for what I then had--and lost, as about to relate , we girls knew that we were heiresses, but Lucy and Minnie were any the prouder or the happier account not Reginald court me money assured He proved it, Heaven be praised ! when he shrank from my side change Yes, in all my lonely age, still be thankful that keep his word, as some done-- clasp altar hand he had learned to loathe and shudder at, because full of gold--much gold ! he spared me that And that loved, knowledge has kept me from going mad through many weary day and restless night, when my hot eyeballs tear to shed, and even to weep was luxury denied me

Our house was an old Tudor mansion My father was very particular in keeping the smallest peculiarities home unaltered Thus the many peaks and gables, the numerous turrets, mullioned windows with their quaint lozenge panes set in lead, remained very nearly three centuries back Over and above the quaint melancholy dwelling, deep woods park sullen waters mere, our neighborhood was thinly peopled and primitive, people round us were ignorant, and tenacious of ancient ideas and traditions Thus superstitious atmosphere that we children were reared in, and we heard, infancy, countless tales of horror, some mere fables doubtless, others legends of dark deeds olden time, exaggerated by credulity love marvelous Our mother had died when we were young, other parent being, though kind father, much absorbed in affairs of various kinds, as an active magistrate and landlord, no one the unwholesome stream of tradition our plastic minds were inundated company of nurses and servants As years went on, however, the old ghostly tales partially lost their effects, undisciplined minds were turned more towards balls, dress, and partners, and other matters airy and trivial, more welcome to our riper age at county assembly that Reginald and I first met--met and loved Yes, that he loved me with all his heart not as deep heart as some, thought in my grief and anger; but I never doubted its truth and honesty Reginald's father and mine approved growing attachment; and as , so happy then, that I look back upon those fleeting moments as on some delicious dream I now come change lingered on my childish reminiscences, my bright and happy youth, and now tell the rest--the blight sorrow

Christmas, always joyful and hospitable time country, especially an old hall as our home, where quaint customs and frolics were much clung to, as part and parcel very dwelling itself The hall was full of guests--so full, indeed, that great difficulty in providing sleeping accommodation for all Several narrow and dark chambers turrets--mere pigeon-holes, irreverently called what thought good enough stately gentlemen of Elizabeth's reign-- were now allotted to bachelor visitors, after having been empty for century All the spare rooms body and wings hall were occupied, ; servants who brought down were lodged farm and keeper's, so great demand for space At last the unexpected arrival of an elderly relative, who asked months before, but scarcely expected, caused great commotion My aunts went about wringing their hands distractedly Lady Speldhurst was personage of some consequence; she was distant cousin, and for years on cool terms all, on account of some fancied affront or slight when she had paid her LAST visit, christening She was seventy years old; she was infirm, rich, and testy; moreover, she was my godmother, though I had forgotten the fact; but it seems that though I had formed no expectations of legacy in my favor, my aunts had done so Aunt Margaret was especially eloquent "There isn't room left," she said; "was ever anything so unfortunate ! put Lady Speldhurst turrets, and yet where IS she to sleep ? And Rosa's godmother, too ! Poor, dear child, how dreadful ! After all these years of estrangement, and with hundred thousand funds, and no comfortable, warm room at her own unlimited disposal-- and Christmas, of all times year ! " ? My aunts resign their own chambers to Lady Speldhurst, because they had already given them married guests My father most hospitable of men, but rheumatic, gouty, and methodical His sisters-in-law dared not propose to shift his quarters; and, indeed, far sooner dined on prison fare than translated to strange bed The matter ended in my giving up my room I had strange reluctance to making the offer, which surprised myself boding of evil ? I strangely and wonderfully made It MAY At any rate, any selfish unwillingness an old and infirm lady comfortable by trifling sacrifice perfectly healthy and strong The weather was not cold year dark, moist Yule--not snowy one, though snow brooded overhead darkling clouds offer, which became me, with laugh, youngest My sisters laughed too, and made jest evident wish to propitiate my godmother " fairy godmother, Rosa," said Minnie; "and she was affronted at your christening, and went away muttering vengeance Here coming back you; she brings golden gifts with her "

little of Lady Speldhurst and her possible golden gifts I cared nothing wonderful fortune funds that my aunts whispered and nodded about so mysteriously But since then wondered whether, had I then showed myself peevish or obstinate--had I refused up my room expected kinswoman--it have altered the whole life ? But then Lucy or Minnie offered in my stead, and been sacrificed--what do ? --better blow fallen as it did than on those dear ones