Titbottom's Spectacles by George William Curtis
Section [1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5]
for_me .My eyes were those of an exile turned backwards upon_the receding shore, and not forwards with hope upon_the ocean .I mingled with men, but with little pleasure . there_are but many varieties of afew types . I_did_not find those I_came to clearer sighted than those I had left behind .I heard men called shrewd and wise, and report said they were highly intelligent and successful .But when I looked at them through my glasses, I_found no halo of real manliness .My finest sense detected no aroma of purity and principle; but I_saw only afungus that had fattened and spread in anight .They all went to_the theater to_see actors upon_the stage .I went to_see actors in_the boxes, so consummately cunning, that_the others did_not know they were acting, and they_did_not suspect it themselves .

"Perhaps you wonder it did_not make me misanthropical .My dear friends, do_not forget that I had seen myself .It made me compassionate, not cynical . of_course I_could_not value highly the ordinary standards of success and excellence .When I went to church and saw athin, blue, artificial flower, or agreat sleepy cushion expounding the beauty of holiness to pews full of eagles, half-eagles, and threepences, however adroitly concealed in broadcloth and boots: or saw an onion in an Easter bonnet weeping over the sins of Magdalen, I_did_not feel as_they felt who saw in all this, not_only propriety, but piety .Or when at public meetings an eel stood up on end, and wriggled and squirmed lithely in every direction, and declared that, for_his part, he went in for rainbows and hot water--how could I help seeing that he_was still black and loved aslimy pool ?

" I_could_not grow misanthropical when I_saw in_the eyes of so_many who were called old, the gushing fountains of eternal youth, and_the light of an immortal dawn, or when I_saw those who were esteemed unsuccessful and aimless, ruling afair realm of peace and plenty, either in themselves, or more perfectly in another--a realm and princely possession for_which they had well renounced ahopeless search and abelated triumph . I_knew one man who had_been for years aby-word for having sought the philosopher's stone .But I looked at him through_the spectacles and saw asatisfaction in concentrated energies, and atenacity arising from devotion to anoble dream, which_was not apparent in_the youths who pitied him in_the aimless effeminacy of clubs, nor in_the clever gentlemen who cracked their thin jokes upon him over agossiping dinner .

"And there_was your neighbor over the way, who passes for awoman who has failed in her career, because she_is an old maid .People wag solemn heads of pity, and say that she made so great amistake in not marrying the brilliant and famous man who was for long years her suitor . it_is clear that no orange flower will ever bloom for her .The young people make tender romances about her as_they watch her, and think of her solitary hours of bitter regret, and wasting longing, never to_be satisfied .When I first came to town I shared this sympathy, and pleased my imagination with fancying her hard struggle with_the conviction that she had lost all that made life beautiful .I supposed that if I looked at her through my spectacles, I should_see that_it_was only her radiant temper which so illuminated her dress, that we_did_not see it to_be heavy sables .But when, one day, I_did raise my glasses and glanced at her, I_did_not see the old maid whom we all pitied for asecret sorrow, but awoman whose nature was atropic, in_which_the sun shone, and birds sang, and flowers bloomed forever .There were no regrets, no doubts and half wishes, but acalm sweetness, atransparent peace . I_saw her blush when_that old lover passed by, or paused to_speak to her, but it_was only the sign of delicate feminine consciousness .She knew his love, and honored it, although she_could_not understand it nor return it .I looked closely at her, and I_saw that although all the world had exclaimed at her indifference to such homage, and had declared it_was astonishing she should lose so fine amatch, she_would only say simply and quietly--

"'If Shakespeare loved me and I_did_not love him, how could I marry him ? '

"Could I be misanthropical when I_saw such fidelity, and dignity, and simplicity ?

" you_may believe that i_was especially curious to look at_that old lover of hers, through my glasses . he_was no longer young, you_know, when I_came, and_his fame and fortune were secure .Certainly I_have heard of few men more beloved, and of none more worthy to_be loved .He had the easy manner of aman of_the world, the sensitive grace of apoet, and_the charitable judgment of awide traveller . he_was accounted the most successful and most unspoiled of men .Handsome, brilliant, wise, tender, graceful, accomplished, rich, and famous, I looked at him, without the spectacles, in surprise, and admiration, and wondered how your neighbor over the way had_been so entirely untouched by his homage .I watched their intercourse in society, I_saw her gay smile, her cordial greeting; I marked his frank address, his lofty courtesy .Their manner told no tales .The eager world was balked, and I pulled out my spectacles .

"I had seen her, already, and now I_saw him .He lived only in memory, and_his memory was aspacious and stately palace .But he_did_not oftenest frequent the banqueting hall, where were endless hospitality and feasting--nor did he loiter much in reception rooms, where athrong of new visitors was forever swarming--nor did he feed his vanity by haunting the apartment in_which were stored the trophies of_his varied triumphs--nor dream much in_the great gallery hung with pictures of_his travels .But from all these lofty halls of memory he constantly escaped to aremote and solitary chamber, into which no one had ever penetrated .But my fatal eyes, behind the glasses, followed and entered with_him, and saw that_the chamber was achapel . it_was dim, and silent, and sweet with perpetual incense that burned upon an altar before apicture forever veiled .There, whenever I chanced to look, I_saw him kneel and pray; and there, by day and by night, afuneral hymn was chanted .

" I_do_not believe you_will_be surprised that I_have_been content to remain deputy bookkeeper .My spectacles regulated my ambition, and I early learned that there were better gods than Plutus .The glasses have lost much of_their fascination now, and I_do_not often use them .Sometimes the desire is irresistible .Whenever I_am greatly interested, I_am compelled to_take them out and_see what it is_that I admire .

"And yet--and yet," said Titbottom, after apause, " I_am not sure that I thank my grandfather ."

Prue had long since laid away her work, and had heard every word of_the story . I_saw that_the dear woman had yet one question to ask, and had_been earnestly hoping to hear something that_would spare her the necessity of asking .But Titbottom had resumed his usual tone, after_the momentary excitement, and made no further allusion to himself .We all sat silently; Titbottom's eyes fastened musingly upon_the carpet: Prue looking wistfully at him, and I regarding both .

it_was past midnight, and_our guest arose to_go .He shook hands quietly, made his grave Spanish bow to Prue, and taking his hat, went towards the front door .Prue and I accompanied him . I_saw in her eyes that she_would ask her question .And as Titbottom opened the door, I heard the low words:

"And Preciosa ? "

Titbottom paused .He had just opened the door and_the moonlight streamed over him as he stood, turning back to_us .

" I_have_seen her but once since . it_was in church, and she was kneeling with her eyes closed, so_that she did_not see me .But I rubbed the glasses well, and looked at her, and saw awhite lily, whose stem was broken, but which_was fresh; and luminous, and fragrant, still ."

"That was amiracle," interrupted Prue .

"Madam, it_was amiracle," replied Titbottom, "and for_that one sight I_am devoutly grateful for_my grandfather's gift . I_saw, that although aflower may_have lost its hold upon earthly moisture, it may still bloom as sweetly, fed by_the dews of heaven ."

The door closed, and he_was gone .But as Prue put her arm in mine and we went upstairs together, she whispered in my ear:

"How glad I_am that you don't wear spectacles ."

Section [1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5]