No. 2 The Red Headed League by Arthur Conan Doyle
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"Oh, he has his faults, too," said Mr Wilson ."Never was such afellow for photography .Snapping away with acamera when he ought_to_be improving his mind, and then diving down into_the cellar like arabbit into its hole to develop his pictures . that_is his main fault, but on_the whole he's agood worker .There's no vice in him ."

" he_is still with_you, I presume ? "

"Yes, sir .He and agirl of fourteen, who does abit of simple cooking and keeps the place clean--that's all I_have in_the house, for I_am awidower and never had any family .We live very quietly, sir, the three of us; and we keep aroof over our heads and pay our debts, if_we_do nothing more .

"The first thing that put us out was_that advertisement .Spaulding, he_came down into_the office just this day eight weeks, with_this very paper in_his hand, and he_says:

"' i_wish to_the Lord, Mr Wilson, that i_was ared-headed man .'

"'Why that ? ' I asks .

"'Why,' says he, 'here's another vacancy on_the League of_the Red-headed Men .It's worth quite alittle fortune to any man who gets it, and I understand that_there_are more vacancies than there_are men, so that_the trustees are at their wits' end what to_do with_the money . if_my hair would only change color, here's anice little crib all ready for_me to step into .'

"'Why, what_is it, then ? ' I asked . you_see .Mr Holmes, I_am avery stay-at-home man, and as my business came to_me instead of_my having to_go to_it, i_was often weeks on end without putting my foot over the door-mat . in_that way I didn't know much of what_was going on outside, and i_was always glad of abit of news .

"' have_you never heard of_the League of_the Red-headed Men ? ' he asked with_his eyes open .

"'Never .'

"'Why, I wonder at_that, for_you are eligibile yourself for one_of_the vacancies .'

"'And what_are they worth ? ' I asked .

"'Oh, merely acouple of hundred ayear, but the work is slight, and it need not interfere very_much with one's other occupations .'

"Well, you_can easily think that that made me prick up my ears, for_the business has_not_been over-good for_some_years, and an extra couple of hundred would_have_been very handy .

"'Tell me all about_it,' said I .

"'Well ' said he, showing me the advertisement, 'you can_see for_yourself that_the League has avacancy, and there_is the address where you_should apply for particulars .As far as I_can make out, the League was founded by an American millionaire, Ezekiah Hopkins, who was very peculiar in_his ways . he_was himself red-headed, and he had agreat sympathy for all red-headed men; so when he died it_was found that he had left his enormous fortune in_the hands of trustees, with instructions to apply the interest to_the providing of easy berths to men whose hair is of_that color .From all I hear it_is splendid pay and very little to_do .'

"'But,' said I, 'there would_be millions of red-headed men who_would apply .'

"'Not so_many as_you_might think,' he answered .' you_see it_is really confined to Londoners, and to grown men .This American had started from London when he_was young, and he_wanted to_do_the old town agood turn .Then, again, I_have heard it_is no use your applying if your hair is light red, or dark red, or anything but real bright, blazing, fiery red .Now, if_you cared to apply, Mr Wilson, you_would just walk in; but perhaps it would hardly be worth your while to_put yourself out_of_the way for_the sake of afew hundred pounds .'

"Now, it_is afact, gentlemen, as_you_may see for yourselves, that my hair is of avery full and rich tint, so that_it seemed to_me that if there_was to_be any competition in_the matter I stood as good achance as any man that I had ever met .Vincent Spaulding seemed to_know so_much about_it that i_thought he might prove useful, so I just ordered him to_put up the shutters for_the day and to_come right away with me . he_was very willing to_have aholiday, so we shut the business up and started off for_the address that was given us in_the advertisement .

"I never hope to_see such asight as_that again, Mr Holmes .From north, south, east, and west every man who had ashade of red in_his hair had tramped into_the city to answer the advertisement .Fleet Street was choked with red-headed folk, and Pope's Court looked like acoster's orange barrow .I should_not have thought there were so_many in_the whole country as were brought together by_that single advertisement .Every shade of color they were--straw, lemon, orange, brick, Irish-setter, liver, clay; but, as Spaulding said, there were_not many who had the real vivid flame-colored tint .When I_saw how_many were waiting, i_would_have given it up in despair; but Spaulding would_not hear of it .How he_did it I_could_not imagine, but he pushed and pulled and butted until he got me through_the crowd, and right up_to_the steps which led to_the office . there_was adouble stream upon_the stair, some going up in hope, and some coming back dejected; but we wedged in as_well as we_could and soon found ourselves in_the office ."

"Your experience has_been amost entertaining one," remarked Holmes as his client paused and refreshed his memory with ahuge pinch of snuff ."Pray continue your very interesting statement ."

" there_was nothing in_the office but acouple of wooden chairs and adeal table, behind which sat asmall man with ahead that was even redder than mine . he_said afew words to each candidate as he_came up, and then he always managed to_find some fault in_them which would disqualify them .Getting avacancy did_not seem_to_be such avery easy matter, after all .However, when our turn came the little man was much more favorable to_me than to any of_the others, and he closed the door as_we entered, so_that he_might_have aprivate word with_us .

"' this_is Mr Jabez Wilson,' said my assistant, 'and he_is willing to_fill avacancy in_the League .'

"'And he_is admirably suited for_it,' the other answered .'He has every requirement . I_cannot recall when I_have_seen anything so fine .' he_took astep backward, cocked his head on one side, and gazed at my hair until I_felt quite bashful .Then suddenly he plunged forward, wrung my hand, and congratulated me warmly on my success .

"'It would_be injustice to hesitate,' said he .' you_will, however, I_am_sure, excuse me for taking an obvious precaution .' with_that he seized my hair in both his hands, and tugged until I yelled with_the pain .' there_is water in your eyes,' said he as he released me .'I perceive that all is as it should_be .But we_have to_be careful, for we_have twice been deceived by wigs and once by paint . I_could tell you tales of cobbler's wax which would disgust you with human nature .' He stepped over to_the window and shouted through it at_the top of_his voice that_the vacancy was filled .agroan of disappointment came up from below, and_the folk all trooped away in different directions until there_was not ared-head to_be seen except my own and_that of_the manager .

"'My name,' said he, 'is Mr Duncan Ross, and I_am myself one_of_the pensioners upon_the fund left by our noble benefactor . are_you amarried man, Mr Wilson ? have_you afamily ? '

"I answered that I had_not .

"His face fell immediately .

"'Dear me ! ' he_said gravely, ' that_is very serious indeed ! I_am sorry to hear you say that .The fund was, of_course, for_the propagation and spread of_the red-heads as_well as for their maintenance . it_is exceedingly unfortunate that you_should_be abachelor


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