The Tragedy of Pudd'nhead Wilson by Mark Twain
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.Draft the cartel, and lose no time ."

"The Count shall_have it in_his hands in fifteen minutes," said Howard .

Tom was very heavyhearted .His appetite was gone with_his property and_his self-respect .He went out the back way and wandered down the obscure lane grieving, and wondering if any course of future conduct, however discreet and carefully perfected and watched over, could win back his uncle's favor and persuade him to reconstruct once more that generous will which had just gone to ruin before his eyes .He finally concluded that_it could . he_said to himself that he had accomplished this sort of triumph once already, and_that what had_been done once could_be_done again . he_would set about_it . he_would bend every energy to_the task, and he_would score that triumph once more, cost what it might to_his convenience, limit as it might his frivolous and liberty-loving life .

" to_begin," he_says to himself, "I'll square up with_the proceeds of_my raid, and then gambling has got to_be stopped--and stopped short off .It's the worst vice I've got--from my standpoint, anyway, because it's the one he_can most easily find out, through_the impatience of_my creditors .He thought it expensive to_have to_pay two hundred dollars to_them for_me once .Expensive--_that ! Why, it cost me the whole of_his fortune--but, of_course, he never thought of_that; some people can't think of any but their own side of acase .If he had known how deep I_am in now, the will would_have gone to pot without waiting for aduel to help .Three hundred dollars ! It's apile ! But he'll never hear of it, I'm thankful to_say .The minute I've cleared it off, I'm safe; and I'll never touch acard again .Anyway, I won't while he lives, I make oath to_that .I'm entering on my last reform-- I_know it--yes, and I'll win; but after_that, if I ever slip again I'm gone ."

CHAPTER 13

Tom Stares at Ruin

When I reflect upon_the number of disagreeable people who I_know have_gone to abetter world, I_am moved to lead adifferent life .

--Pudd'nhead Wilson's Calendar

October . this_is one_of_the peculiarly dangerous months to speculate in stocks in .The others are July, January, September, April, November, May, March, June, December, August, and February .

--Pudd'nhead Wilson's Calendar

Thus mournfully communing with himself, Tom moped along the lane past Pudd'nhead Wilson's house, and still on and on between fences enclosing vacant country on each hand till he neared the haunted house, then he_came moping back again, with many sighs and heavy with trouble .He sorely wanted cheerful company .Rowena ! His heart gave abound at_the thought, but the next thought quieted it--the detested twins would_be there .

he_was on_the inhabited side of Wilson's house, and now as he approached it, he noticed that_the sitting room was lighted . this_would do; others made him feel unwelcome sometimes, but Wilson never failed in courtesy toward him, and akindly courtesy does at_least save one's feelings, even if it_is_not professing to stand for awelcome .Wilson heard footsteps at his threshold, then the clearing of athroat .

"It's that fickle-tempered, dissipated young goose--poor devil, he find friends pretty scarce today, likely, after_the disgrace of carrying apersonal assault case into alaw-court ."

adejected knock ."Come in ! "

Tom entered, and dropped into achair, without saying anything .Wilson said kindly:

"Why, my boy, you look desolate .Don't take it so hard .Try and forget you_have_been kicked ."

"Oh, dear," said Tom, wretchedly, "it's not that, Pudd'nhead-- it's not that .. It's athousand times worse than that--oh, yes, amillion times worse ."

"Why, Tom, what do_you_mean ? Has Rowena--"

"Flung me ? No_, but the old man has ."

Wilson said to himself, "Aha ! " and thought of_the mysterious girl in_the bedroom ."The Driscolls have_been making discoveries ! " Then he_said aloud, gravely:

"Tom, there_are some kinds of dissipation which--"

"Oh, shucks, this hasn't got anything to_do with dissipation . he_wanted me to challenge that derned Italian savage, and I wouldn't do_it ."

"Yes, of_course he_would do_that," said Wilson in ameditative matter-of-course way, "but the thing that puzzled me was, why he didn't look to_that last night, for_one_thing, and why he let you carry such amatter into acourt of law at all, either before_the duel or after it .It's no place for_it . it_was not like him .I couldn't understand it .How did it happen ? "

"It happened because he didn't know anything about_it . he_was asleep when I got home last night ."

"And you didn't wake him ? Tom, is_that possible ? "

Tom was not getting much comfort here .He fidgeted amoment, then said:

"I didn't choose to_tell him--that's all . he_was going a-fishing before dawn, with Pembroke Howard, and if I got the twins into_the common calaboose--and i_thought sure I_could--I never dreamed of_their slipping out on apaltry fine for such an outrageous offense-- well, once in_the calaboose they_would_be disgraced, and uncle wouldn't want any duels with_that sort of characters, and wouldn't allow any .

"Tom, I_am ashamed of you ! I don't see how you_could treat your good old uncle so . I_am abetter friend of_his than you_are; for if I had known the circumstances i_would_have kept that case out of court until I got word to him and let him have the gentleman's chance ."

" you_would ? " exclaimed Tom, with lively surprise ."And it your first case ! And you_know perfectly well there never would_have_been any case if he had got that chance, don't you ? And you'd have finished your days apauper nobody, instead of being an actually launched and recognized lawyer today .And you_would really have_done that, would you ? "

"Certainly ."

Tom looked at him amoment or two, then shook his head sorrowfully and said:

"I believe you--upon my word I_do .I don't know why I_do, but I_do .Pudd'nhead Wilson, i_think you're the biggest fool I ever saw ."

" thank_you ."

"Don't mention it ."

"Well, he has_been requiring you to fight the Italian, and you_have refused .You degenerate remnant of an honorable line ! I'm thoroughly ashamed of you, Tom ! "

"Oh, that's nothing ! I don't care for anything, now that_the will's torn up again ."

"Tom, tell me squarely--didn't he find any fault with_you for anything but those two things--carrying the case into court and refusing to fight ? "

He watched the young fellow's face narrowly, but it_was entirely reposeful, and so also was_the voice that answered:

"No, he didn't find any_other fault with me .If he had had any to_find, he_would_have begun yesterday, for he_was just in_the humor for_it .He drove that jack-pair around town and showed them the sights, and when he_came home he couldn't find his father's old silver watch that don't keep time and he thinks so_much of, and couldn't remember what he_did with it three or four days_ago when he_saw it last, and when I suggested that_it probably wasn't lost but stolen, it put him in aregular passion, and he_said i_was afool-- which convinced me, without any trouble, that that was just what he_was afraid had happened, himself, but did_not want to_believe it, because lost things stand abetter chance of being found again than stolen ones ."

"Whe-ew ! " whistled Wilson ."Score another one the list ."

"Another what ? "

"Another theft ! "

"Theft ? "

"Yes, theft .That watch isn't lost, it's stolen .There's been another raid on_the town--and just the same old mysterious sort of thing that has happened once before, as_you remember ."

"You don't mean it ! "

"It's as sure as_you_are born ! have_you missed anything yourself ? "

"No . that_is, I_did miss asilver pencil case that Aunt Mary Pratt gave_me last birthday--"

"You'll find it stolen--that's what you'll find ."

"No, I sha'n't; for when I suggested theft about_the watch and got such arap, I went and examined my room, and_the pencil case was missing, but it_was only mislaid, and I_found it again ."

" you_are_sure you missed nothing else ? "

"Well, nothing of consequence .I missed asmall plain gold ring worth two_or_three dollars, but that_will turn up .I'll look again ."

"In my opinion you'll not find it .There's been araid, I tell you .Come in ! "

Mr Justice Robinson entered, followed by Buckstone and_the town constable, Jim Blake .They sat down, and after some wandering and aimless weather-conversation Wilson said:

" by_the_way, We've just added another to_the list of thefts, maybe two .Judge Driscoll's old silver watch is gone, and Tom here has missed agold ring ."

"Well, it_is abad business," said the justice, "and gets worse the further it goes .The Hankses, the Dobsons, the Pilligrews, the Ortons, the Grangers, the Hales, the Fullers, the Holcombs, in_fact everybody that lives around about Patsy Cooper's had_been robbed of little things like trinkets and teaspoons and suchlike small valuables that_are easily carried off .It's perfectly plain that_the thief took advantage of_the reception at Patsy Cooper's when all the neighbors were in her house and all their niggers hanging around her fence for alook at_the show, to raid the vacant houses undisturbed .Patsy is miserable about_it; miserable on account of_the neighbors, and particularly miserable on account of her foreigners, of_course; so miserable on their account that she hasn't any room to worry about her own little losses ."

"It's the same old raider," said Wilson ."I suppose there isn't any doubt about_that ."

"Constable Blake doesn't think so ."

"No, you're wrong there," said Blake ."The other times it_was aman; there_was plenty of signs of_that, as we_know, in_the profession, thought we never got hands on him; but this_time it's awoman ."

Wilson thought of_the mysterious girl straight off .She was always in_his mind now .But she failed him again .Blake continued:

"She's astoop-shouldered old woman with acovered basket on her arm, in ablack veil, dressed in mourning . I_saw her going aboard the ferryboat yesterday .Lives in Illinois, I reckon; but I don't care where she lives, I'm going to_get her-- she_can make herself sure of_that ."

"What makes you_think she's the thief ? "

"Well, there ain't any_other, for_one_thing; and for another, some nigger draymen that happened to_be driving along saw her coming out of or going into houses, and told me so--and it just happens that_they was robbed_, every time


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