The Tragedy of Pudd'nhead Wilson by Mark Twain
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.You overlook one detail; suppose I hadn't saved Angelo's life, what would_have become of_mine ? If I had let the man kill him, wouldn't he have killed me, too ? I saved my own life, you_see ."

"Yes, that_is your way of talking," said Angelo, "but I_know you-- I don't believe you thought of yourself at all .I keep that weapon yet that Luigi killed the man with, and I'll show it to_you sometime .That incident makes it interesting, and it had ahistory before it came into Luigi's hands which adds to its interest . it_was given to Luigi by agreat Indian prince, the Gaikowar of Baroda, and it had_been in_his family two_or_three centuries .It killed a good_many disagreeable people who troubled the hearthstone at one_time or another .It isn't much too look at, except it isn't shaped like other knives, or dirks, or whatever it may_be called--here, I'll draw it for_you ." he_took asheet of paper and made arapid sketch ."There it_is--a broad and murderous blade, with edges like arazor for sharpness .The devices engraved on_it are the ciphers or names of_its long line of possessors--I had Luigi's name added in Roman letters myself with_our coat of arms, as you_see .You notice what acurious handle the thing has . it_is solid ivory, polished like amirror, and_is four or five inches long--round, and as thick as alarge man's wrist, with_the end squared off flat, for your thumb to rest on; for_you grasp it, with your thumb resting on_the blunt end-- so--and lift it along and strike downward .The Gaikowar showed us how the thing was_done when he_gave it to Luigi, and before_that night was ended, Luigi had used the knife, and_the Gaikowar was aman short by reason of it .The sheath is magnificently ornamented with gems of great value . you_will_find asheath more worth looking at than_the knife itself, of_course ."

Tom said to himself:

"It's lucky I_came here . i_would_have sold that knife for asong; I supposed the jewels were glass ."

"But go on; don't stop," said Wilson ."Our curiosity is up now, to hear about_the homicide .Tell us about_that ."

"Well, briefly, the knife was to blame for_that, all around .anative servant slipped into our room in_the palace in_the night, to kill us and steal the knife on account of_the fortune encrusted on its sheath, without adoubt .Luigi had it under his pillow; we were in bed together . there_was adim night-light burning . i_was asleep, but Luigi was awake, and he thought he detected avague form nearing the bed .He slipped the knife out_of_the sheath and was ready and unembarrassed by hampering bedclothes, for_the weather was hot and we hadn't any .Suddenly that native rose at_the bedside, and bent over me with_his right hand lifted and adirk in_it aimed at my throat; but Luigi grabbed his wrist, pulled him downward, and drove his own knife into_the man's neck . that_is_the whole story ."

Wilson and Tom drew deep breaths, and after some general chat about_the tragedy, Pudd'nhead said, taking Tom's hand:

"Now, Tom, I've never had alook at your palms, as it happens; perhaps you've got some little questionable privacies that need--hel-lo ! "

Tom had snatched away his hand, and was looking a good_deal confused .

"Why, he's blushing ! " said Luigi .

Tom darted an ugly look at him, and said sharply:

"Well, if I_am, it ain't because I'm amurderer ! " Luigi's dark face flushed, but before he_could speak or move, Tom added with anxious haste: "Oh, I beg athousand pardons .I didn't mean that; it_was out before i_thought, and I'm very, very sorry-- you_must forgive me ! "

Wilson came to_the rescue, and smoothed things down as_well as he_could; and in_fact was entirely successful as far as_the twins were concerned, for they felt sorrier for_the affront put upon him by his guest's outburst of ill manners than for_the insult offered to Luigi .But the success was not so pronounced with_the offender .Tom tried to seem at his ease, and he went through_the motions fairly well, but at bottom he_felt resentful toward all the three witnesses of_his exhibition; in_fact, he_felt so annoyed at them for having witnessed it and noticed it that he almost forgot to_feel annoyed at himself for placing it before them .However, something presently happened which made him almost comfortable, and brought him nearly back to astate of charity and friendliness . this_was alittle spat between_the twins; not much of aspat, but still aspat; and before_they got far with it, they were in adecided condition of irritation while pretending to_be actuated by more respectable motives .By his help the fire got warmed up_to_the blazing point, and he_might_have had the happiness of seeing the flames show up in another moment, but for_the interruption of aknock on_the door--an interruption which fretted him as_much as it gratified Wilson .Wilson opened the door .

The visitor was agood-natured, ignorant, energetic middle-aged Irishman named John Buckstone, who was agreat politician in asmall way, and always took alarge share in public matters of every sort . one_of_the town's chief excitements, just now, was over the matter of rum . there_was astrong rum party and astrong anti-rum party .Buckstone was training with_the rum party, and he had_been sent to hunt up the twins and invite them to attend amass meeting of_that faction .He delivered his errand, and said the clans were already gathering in_the big hall over the market house .Luigi accepted the invitation cordially .Angelo less cordially, since he disliked crowds, and did_not drink the powerful intoxicants of America . in_fact, he_was even ateetotaler sometimes-- when it_was judicious to_be one .

The twins left with Buckstone, and Tom Driscoll joined the company with_them uninvited .

in_the distance, one could_see along wavering line of torches drifting down the main street, and could hear the throbbing of_the bass drum, the clash of cymbals, the squeaking of afife or two, and_the faint roar of remote hurrahs .The tail end of_this procession was climbing the market house stairs when_the twins arrived in its neighborhood; when_they reached the hall, it_was full of people, torches, smoke, noise, and enthusiasm .They were conducted to_the platform by Buckstone--Tom Driscoll still following--and were delivered to_the chairman in_the midst of aprodigious explosion of welcome . when_the noise had moderated alittle, the chair proposed that "our illustrious guests be at once elected, by complimentary acclamation, to membership in_our ever-glorious organization, the paradise of_the free and_the perdition of_the slave ."

This eloquent discharge opened the floodgates of enthusiasm again, and_the election was carried with thundering unanimity .Then arose astorm of cries:

"Wet them down ! Wet them down ! Give them adrink ! "

Glasses of whisky were handed to_the twins .Luigi waves his aloft, then brought it to_his lips; but Angelo set his down . there_was another storm of cries .

"What's the matter with_the other one ? " " what_is the blond one going back on us for ? " "Explain ! Explain ! "

The chairman inquired, and then reported:

" we_have_made an unfortunate mistake, gentlemen . I_find that_the Count Angelo Capello is opposed to our creed--is ateetotaler, in_fact, and was not intending to apply for membership with_us .He desires that we reconsider the vote by_which he_was elected . what_is the pleasure of_the house ? "

there_was ageneral burst of laughter, plentifully accented with whistlings and catcalls, but the energetic use of_the gavel presently restored something like order .Then aman spoke from_the crowd, and said that while he_was very sorry that_the mistake had_been made, it would_not_be possible to rectify it at_the present meeting .According to_the bylaws, it must go over to_the next regular meeting for action . he_would_not offer amotion, as none was required .He desired to apologize to_the gentlemen in_the name of_the house, and begged to assure him that as far as it might lie in_the power of_the Sons of Liberty, his temporary membership in_the order would_be made pleasant to him .

This speech was received with great applause, mixed with cries of:

"That's the talk ! "He's agood fellow, anyway, if he_is ateetotaler ! " "Drink his health ! " "Give him arouser, and no heeltaps ! "

Glasses were handed around, and everybody on_the platform drank Angelo's health, while the house bellowed forth in song:

For he's ajolly good fel-low, For he's ajolly good fel-low, For he's ajolly good fe-el-low, Which nobody can deny .

Tom Driscoll drank . it_was his second glass, for he had drunk Angelo's the moment that Angelo had set it down .The two drinks made him very merry--almost idiotically so, and he began to_take amost lively and prominent part in_the proceedings, particularly in_the music and catcalls and side remarks .

The chairman was still standing at_the front, the twins at his side .The extraordinarily close resemblance of_the brothers to each_other suggested awitticism to Tom Driscoll, and just as_the chairman began aspeech he skipped forward and said, with an air of tipsy confidence, to_the audience:

"Boys, I move that he keeps still and lets this human philopena snip you out aspeech ."

The descriptive aptness of_the phrase caught the house, and amighty burst of laughter followed .

Luigi's southern blood leaped to_the boiling point in amoment under the sharp humiliation of_this insult delivered in_the presence of four hundred strangers . it_was not in_the young man's nature to let the matter pass, or to delay the squaring of_the account . he_took acouple of strides and halted behind the unsuspecting joker .Then he drew back and delivered akick of_such titanic vigor that_it lifted Tom clear over the footlights and landed him on_the heads of_the front row of_the Sons of Liberty .

Even asober person does_not like to_have ahuman being emptied on him when


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