The Tragedy of Pudd'nhead Wilson by Mark Twain
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do_you hear me ? "

"Please, Marse Tom, don't make me ! Dey's so_many of 'em dat--"

Tom sprang at him and drove his pocketknife into him two_or_three times before_the boys could snatch him away and give the wounded lad achance to escape . he_was considerably hurt, but not seriously . if_the blade had_been alittle longer, his career would_have ended there .

Tom had long_ago taught Roxy "her place ." It had_been many aday now since she had ventured acaress or afondling epithet in_his quarter .Such things, from a"nigger," were repulsive to him, and she had_been warned to_keep her distance and remember who she was .She saw her darling gradually cease from being her son, she saw THAT detail perish utterly; all that was left was master--master, pure and simple, and it_was not agentle mastership, either .She saw herself sink from_the sublime height of motherhood to_the somber depths of unmodified slavery, the abyss of separation between her and her boy was complete .She was merely his chattel now, his convenience, his dog, his cringing and helpless slave, the humble and unresisting victim of_his capricious temper and vicious nature .

Sometimes she_could_not go to sleep, even when worn out with fatigue, because her rage boiled so high over the day's experiences with her boy . she_would mumble and mutter to herself:

"He struck me en I warn't no way to blame--struck me in de face, right before folks .En he's al'ays callin' me nigger wench, en hussy, en all dem mean names, when I's doin' de very bes' I kin .Oh, Lord, I done so_much for him--I lif' him away up_to what he_is-- en dis is what I git for_it ."

Sometimes when some outrage of peculiar offensiveness stung her to_the heart, she_would plan schemes of vengeance and revel in_the fancied spectacle of_his exposure to_the world as an imposter and aslave; but in_the midst of_these joys fear would strike her; she had made him too strong; she_could prove nothing, and--heavens, she might get sold down the river for her pains ! So her schemes always went for nothing, and she laid them aside in impotent rage against the fates, and against herself for playing the fool on_that fatal September day in not providing herself with awitness for use in_the day when such athing might_be needed for_the appeasing of her vengeance-hungry heart .

And yet the moment Tom happened to_be good to her, and kind-- and this occurred every now_and_then--all her sore places were healed, and she was happy; happy and proud, for this_was her son, her nigger son, lording it among_the whites and securely avenging their crimes against her race .

There were two grand funerals in Dawson's Landing that fall--the fall of 1845 .One was_that of Colonel Cecil Burleigh Essex, the other that of Percy Driscoll .

on_his deathbed Driscoll set Roxy free and delivered his idolized ostensible son solemnly into_the keeping of_his brother, the judge, and_his wife .Those childless people were glad to_get him .Childless people are_not difficult to_please .

Judge Driscoll had gone privately to_his brother, amonth before, and bought Chambers .He had heard that Tom had_been trying to_get his father to_sell the boy down the river, and he_wanted to_prevent the scandal--for public sentiment did_not approve of_that way of treating family servants for light cause or for no cause .

Percy Driscoll had worn himself out in trying to save his great speculative landed estate, and had died without succeeding . he_was hardly in_his grave before_the boom collapsed and left his envied young devil of an heir apauper .But that was nothing; his uncle told him he_should_be his heir and_have all his fortune when he died; so Tom was comforted .

Roxy had no home now; so she resolved to_go around and say good-by to her friends and then clear out and_see the world-- that_is_to_say, she_would go chambermaiding on asteamboat, the darling ambition of her race and sex .

Her last call was on_the black giant, Jasper .She found him chopping Pudd'nhead Wilson's winter provision of wood .

Wilson was chatting with_him when Roxy arrived .He asked her how she_could bear to_go off chambermaiding and leave her boys; and chaffingly offered to copy off aseries of_their fingerprints, reaching up to_their twelfth year, for her to remember them by; but she sobered in amoment, wondering if he suspected anything; then she said she believed she didn't want them .Wilson said to himself, "The drop of black blood in her is superstitious; she thinks there's some devilry, some witch business about_my glass mystery somewhere; she used to_come here with an old horseshoe in her hand; it could_have_been an accident, but I_doubt it ."

CHAPTER 5

The Twins Thrill Dawson's Landing

Training is everything .The peach was once abitter almond; cauliflower is nothing but cabbage with acollege education .

--Pudd'nhead Wilson's Calendar

Remark of Dr .Baldwin's, concerning upstarts: We don't care to eat toadstools that think they_are truffles .

--Pudd'nhead Wilson's Calendar

Mrs York Driscoll enjoyed two years of bliss with_that prize, Tom--bliss that was troubled alittle at times, it_is true, but bliss nevertheless; then she died, and her husband and_his childless sister, Mrs Pratt, continued this bliss-business at_the old stand .Tom was petted and indulged and spoiled to_his entire content--or nearly that .This went on till he_was nineteen, then he_was sent to Yale .He went handsomely equipped with "conditions," but otherwise he_was not an object of distinction there .He remained at Yale two years, and then threw up the struggle . he_came home with_his manners a good_deal improved; he had lost his surliness and brusqueness, and was rather pleasantly soft and smooth, now; he_was furtively, and sometimes openly, ironical of speech, and given to gently touching people on_the raw, but he_did it with agood-natured semiconscious air that carried it off safely, and kept him from getting into trouble . he_was as indolent as ever and showed no very strenuous desire to hunt up an occupation .People argued from_this that he preferred to_be supported by his uncle until his uncle's shoes should become vacant .He brought back one_or_two new habits with_him, one of_which he rather openly practiced--tippling--but concealed another, which_was gambling .It would_not do to gamble where his uncle could hear of it; he_knew that quite well .

Tom's Eastern polish was not popular among_the young people . they_could have endured it, perhaps, if Tom had stopped there; but he wore gloves, and that_they couldn't stand, and wouldn't; so he_was mainly without society .He brought home with_him asuit of clothes of_such exquisite style and cut in fashion-- Eastern fashion, city fashion-- that_it filled everybody with anguish and was regarded as apeculiarly wanton affront .He enjoyed the feeling which he_was exciting, and paraded the town serene and happy all day; but the young fellows set atailor to work that night, and when Tom started out on_his parade next morning, he_found the old deformed Negro bell ringer straddling along in_his wake tricked out in aflamboyant curtain-calico exaggeration of_his finery, and imitating his fancy Eastern graces as_well as he_could .

Tom surrendered, and after_that clothed himself in_the local fashion .But the dull country town was tiresome to him, since his acquaintanceship with livelier regions, and it grew daily more and more so .He began to_make little trips to St .Louis for refreshment .There he_found companionship to suit him, and pleasures to_his taste, along with more freedom, in some particulars, than he could_have at home .So, during the next two years, his visits to_the city grew in frequency and_his tarryings there grew steadily longer in duration .

he_was getting into deep waters . he_was taking chances, privately, which might get him into trouble some day-- in_fact, did .

Judge Driscoll had retired from_the bench and from all business activities in 1850, and had now been comfortably idle three years . he_was president of_the Freethinkers' Society, and Pudd'nhead Wilson was_the other member .The society's weekly discussions were now the old lawyer's main interest in life .Pudd'nhead was still toiling in obscurity at_the bottom of_the ladder, under the blight of_that unlucky remark which he had let fall twenty-three years before about_the dog .

Judge Driscoll was his friend, and claimed that he had amind above the average, but that was regarded as one_of_the judge's whims, and it failed to modify the public opinion .Or rather, that was one_of_the reason why it failed, but there_was another and better one . if_the judge had stopped with bare assertion, it would_have had a good_deal of effect; but he_made the mistake of trying to_prove his position . for_some_years Wilson had_been privately at work on awhimsical almanac, for_his amusement--a calendar, with alittle dab of ostensible philosophy, usually in ironical form, appended to each date; and_the judge thought that_these quips and fancies of Wilson's were neatly turned and cute; so he carried ahandful of_them around one day, and read them to some_of_the chief citizens .But irony was not for_those people; their mental vision was not focused for_it .They read those playful trifles in_the solidest terms, and decided without hesitancy that if there had ever been any doubt that Dave Wilson was apudd'nhead-- which there hadn't--this revelation removed that doubt for good and all . that_is just the way in_this world; an enemy can partly ruin aman, but it takes agood-natured injudicious friend to complete the thing and make it perfect . after_this the judge felt tenderer than ever toward Wilson, and surer than ever that his calendar had merit .

Judge Driscoll could_be afreethinker and still hold his place in society because he was_the person of most consequence to_the community, and therefore could venture to_go his own way and follow out his own notions .The other member of_his pet organization was allowed the like liberty because he_was acipher in_the estimation of_the public, and nobody attached any importance to what he thought or did . he_was liked, he_was welcome enough all around, but he simply didn't count for anything .

The Widow Cooper--affectionately called "Aunt Patsy" by everybody-- lived in asnug and comely cottage with her daughter Rowena, who was nineteen, romantic, amiable, and very pretty, but otherwise of no consequence .Rowena had acouple of young brothers-- also of no consequence .

The widow had alarge spare room, which she let to alodger, with board, when she_could find one, but this room had_been empty for ayear now, to her sorrow .Her income was only sufficient for_the family support, and she needed the lodging money for trifling luxuries .But now, at last, on aflaming June day, she found herself happy; her tedious wait was ended; her year-worn advertisement had_been answered; and not by avillage applicant, no, no ! --this letter was from away off yonder in_the dim great world to_the North; it_was from St .Louis .She sat on her porch gazing out with unseeing eyes upon_the shining reaches of_the mighty Mississippi, her thoughts steeped in her good fortune .Indeed it_was specially good fortune, for she was to_have two lodgers instead of one .

She had read the letter to_the family, and Rowena had danced away to_see to_the cleaning and airing of_the room by_the slave woman, Nancy, and_the boys had rushed abroad in_the town to spread the great news, for


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