"How very impolite ! " exclaimed the phonograph

"I'm sorry; but it's true," said the boy "You'll have somewhere else "

" very unkind treatment, say," whined the phonograph, in an injured tone "Everyone seems to hate me, and yet intended to amuse people "

"It isn't you we hate, especially," observed the Glass Cat; "it's your dreadful music When I lived same room much annoyed by your squeaky horn It growls and grumbles and clicks and scratches so it spoils the music, and your machinery rumbles so racket drowns every tune you attempt "

"That isn't my fault; it's the fault records admit that I haven't clear record," answered the machine

"Just the same, you'll have away," said Ojo

"Wait minute," cried Scraps "This music thing interests me I remember heard music when I first came to life, and like to hear it again , my poor abused phonograph ? "

"Victor Columbia Edison," it answered

"Well, call you 'Vic' for short," said the Patchwork Girl "Go ahead and play something "

"It'll drive you crazy," warned the cat

"I'm crazy now, according to your statement Loosen up and reel out the music, Vic "

"The only record with me," explained the phonograph, "is one the Magician attached just before we had our quarrel It's highly classical composition "

"A what ? " inquired Scraps

" classical music, considered the best and most puzzling ever manufactured You're supposed to like it, whether or not, and don't, the proper thing is to look Understand ? "

"Not least," said Scraps

"Then, listen ! "

At once the machine began to play and Ojo put his hands ears to shut out the sounds cat snarled and Scraps began to laugh

"Cut it out, Vic," she said "That's enough "

But the phonograph continued playing the dreary tune, so Ojo seized the crank, jerked it free and threw it road However, the moment the crank struck the ground it bounded back machine again and began winding it up And still the music played

"Let's run ! " cried Scraps, all started and ran down the path as fast as go But the phonograph was right behind them and could run and play same time It called out, reproachfully:

"What's the matter ? Don't you love classical music ? "

"No, Vic," said Scraps, halting " passical the classical and preserve what joy left I haven't any nerves, thank goodness, but your music makes my cotton shrink "

"Then turn over my record There's rag-time tune other side," said the machine

"What's rag-time ? "

"The opposite of classical "

"All right," said Scraps, and turned over the record

The phonograph now began to play jerky jumble of sounds which proved so bewildering that after moment Scraps stuffed her patchwork apron gold horn and cried: "Stop--stop ! That's the other extreme It's extremely bad ! "

Muffled as , the phonograph played on

" don't shut off that music I'll smash your record," threatened Ojo

The music stopped, , machine turned its horn from one to another and said with great indignation: "What's the matter now ? possible 't appreciate rag- time ? "

"Scraps ought to, being rags herself," said the cat; "but I simply can't stand it; it makes my whiskers curl "

" , indeed, dreadful ! " exclaimed Ojo, with shudder

"It's enough to drive crazy lady mad," murmured the Patchwork Girl "I'll tell you what, Vic," she added as she smoothed out her apron and put it on again, "for some reason or other you've missed your guess You're not concert; you're nuisance "

"Music hath charms to soothe the savage breast," asserted the phonograph sadly

"Then we're not savages I advise you home and beg the Magician's pardon "

"Never ! He'd smash me "

"That's what do, stay here," Ojo declared

"Run along, Vic, and bother some one else," advised Scraps "Find some one real wicked, and stay till he repents way do some good "

The music thing turned silently away and trotted down side path, toward distant Munchkin village

"Is way we go ? " asked Bungle anxiously

"No," said Ojo; " keep straight ahead, path widest and best When we come to some house inquire the way Emerald City "

Chapter Eight

The Foolish Owl Wise Donkey

On they went, and half an hour's steady walking brought them to house somewhat better two they had already passed It stood close roadside and over the door was sign that read: "Miss Foolish Owl and Mr Wise Donkey: Public Advisers "

When Ojo read this sign aloud Scraps said laughingly: "Well, place all the advice , maybe more than Let's go in "

The boy knocked door

"Come in ! " called deep bass voice

So they opened the door and entered the house, where little light-brown donkey, dressed in blue apron and blue cap, was engaged in dusting the furniture with blue cloth On shelf over the window sat great blue owl with blue sunbonnet on her head, blinking her big round eyes visitors

"Good morning," said the donkey, deep voice, which seemed bigger than "Did you come for advice ? "

"Why, we came, anyhow," replied Scraps, "and now here have some advice It's free, isn't it ? "

"Certainly," said the donkey "Advice doesn't cost anything--unless you follow it Permit me , , that the queerest lot of travelers that ever came to my shop Judging you merely by appearances, you'd better talk Foolish Owl yonder "

They turned to look bird, which fluttered its wings and stared back at them with its big eyes

"Hoot-ti-toot-ti-toot ! " cried the owl

"Fiddle-cum-foo, Howdy-do ? Riddle-cum, tiddle-cum, Too-ra-la-loo ! "

"That beats your poetry, Scraps," said Ojo

"It's just nonsense ! " declared the Glass Cat

"But it's good advice foolish," said the donkey, admiringly "Listen to my partner, and 't go wrong "

Said the owl in grumbling voice:

"Patchwork Girl to life; No one's sweetheart, no one's wife; Lacking sense and loving fun, She'll be snubbed by everyone "

"Quite compliment ! Quite compliment, I declare," exclaimed the donkey, turning to look at Scraps " certainly wonder, my dear, and I fancy you'd make splendid pincushion belonged , I'd wear smoked glasses when I looked at you "

"Why ? " asked the Patchwork Girl

"Because so gay and gaudy "

" my beauty that dazzles you," she asserted "You Munchkin people all strut around in your stupid blue color, while I--"

" wrong in calling me Munchkin," interrupted the donkey, "for born Land of Mo and came to visit the Land of Oz day shut off from all the rest world So here obliged to stay, and I confess very pleasant country to live in "

"Hoot-ti-toot ! " cried the owl;

"Ojo's searching for charm, 'Cause Unc Nunkie's come to harm Charms are scarce; they're hard ; Ojo's got job, you bet ! "

" owl so very foolish ? " asked the boy

"Extremely so," replied the donkey "Notice what vulgar expressions she uses But I admire the owl reason that positively foolish Owls are supposed so very wise, generally, that foolish one is unusual, and you perhaps know that anything or anyone unusual is sure interesting wise "

The owl flapped its wings again, muttering these words:

"It's hard glassy cat-- No cat more hard than that; She's so transparent, every act Is clear , 's fact "

" noticed my pink brains ? " inquired Bungle, proudly "You 'em work "

"Not daytime," said the donkey " 't see by day, poor thing But her advice is excellent I advise you all it "

"The owl hasn't given us any advice, ," the boy declared

"No ? Then what call all those sweet poems ? "

"Just foolishness," replied Ojo "Scraps does the same thing "

"Foolishness ! ! ! The Foolish Owl foolish or she wouldn't be the Foolish Owl very complimentary to my partner, indeed," asserted the donkey, rubbing his front hoofs together highly pleased

"The sign says that wise," remarked Scraps donkey " prove it "

"With great pleasure," returned the beast "Put me test, my dear Patches, and I'll prove my wisdom wink of an eye "

" the best way Emerald City ? " asked Ojo

"Walk," said the donkey

" ; but what road shall I take ? " boy's next question

"The road of yellow bricks, It leads directly Emerald City "

"And how shall the road of yellow bricks ? "

"By keeping along the path following You'll come yellow bricks pretty soon, and you'll know them see them because they're the only yellow things blue country "

" ," said the boy "At last told me something "

"Is extent of your wisdom ? " asked Scraps