Grandpa In Oz

by Ruth Plumly Thompson

This book is dedicated, with deep affection, to Uncle Billy (Major William J Hammer)Author, inventor and second cousin to Santa Claus

List of Chapters
1 Rainy Day in Ragbad
2 The Wise Man Speaks
3 The Blue Forest of Oz
4 The Baffled Bandits
5 Down the Hollow Tree
6 The Wizard's Garden
7 The Winding Stairway
8 Strange Happenings in Perhaps City
9 Dorothy Meets New Celebrity
10 Prince Forge John of Fire Island
11 Volcano
12 The Island of Isa Poso
13 Tatters Receives the Reward
14 On Monday Mountain
15 The Finding of Fumbo's Head !
16 Princess Dorothy Escapes
17 The Adventurers Meet
18 The Mischievous Play Fellows
19 Back to Perhaps City
20 The Prophet Confesses
21 Urtha Is Transformed
22 Rejoicing in Raghad

CHAPTER 1

Rainy Day in Ragbad

KING FUMBO of Ragbad shook carpet slippers He had removed his red shoes, so shake

"My dear," quavered the King, flattening his nose against the cracked pane, " just look out window and tell me what ? "

"My Dear" was really the Queen of Ragbad and , when she had first come old red castle hill, she had worn her crown every day and was always addressed as "Your Majesty ! " But as time passed and affairs kingdom had gone from bad to worse, My Dear, like many another Queen, had taken off her crown, put on her thimble and become plain Mrs Sew-and-Sew, and with all her sewing she had barely been able the kingdom from falling to pieces She was stitching patch King's Thursday cloak very minute telling you about

"What now ! " gasped the poor lady, and rushing window she also pressed her nose pane

"Do what ? " choked King Fumbo, clutching at her hand

" great cloud rolling over Red Mountain," panted Mrs Sew-and-Sew " the red geese flying wind -" Here she gave great bounce and brushed past her husband- " my best patch work quilt blowing down the highway ! " moaned Mrs Sew-and-Sew, stumbling across the room

"Ruination ! " spluttered the King door slammed after his wife "Shut the bells ! Ring the windows; fetch Prince Tatters and call my red umbrella ! Grampa ! Scroggles ! Where is every Ragbad-body ? "

Grampa, as it happened, was garden and Grampa was an old soldier with game leg who had fought in nine hundred and eighty Ragbad battles and beaten everything, including the drum Just now beating the carpet Tatters, the young Prince of Ragbad, was off on picnic Redsmith, and Scroggles, the footman-of-all-work castle, was mending hole roof, so heard the King's calls

Finally, seeing that no one was coming to carry out his commands, Fumbo began to carry them out himself First he clutched his red beard and jumped clear out carpet slippers Next he slammed the window thumb thumb mouth he hurled himself bell rope, pulling it so violently the cord broke and dropped him upon his back Having failed to ring the bell, he wrung his hands-and well he might, room had grown dark as pitch wind was howling down the chimney like pack of hungry gollywockers

"I'll get my umbrella," muttered King Fumbo, scrambling feet, but just as he reached the door, ten thousand pounds of thunder clapped the castle back and so startled poor Fumbo that he fell door and all the way down ten flights of steps And worse still, when he finally did pick himself up, instead of running throne room, he plunged out garden storm broke right over his head-broke flashing of lightning and crashing of thunder, and lashing of tree tops, King and such other luckless Ragbadians as were out were flung flat on their noses, ones who were indoors crept under beds and into cup-boards and wished they better than they Even Grampa-who was far and away the bravest man country-even Grampa, after one look sky, rolled himself carpet he beating and lay trembling like tobacco leaf

" certainly spoil the rag crop, sighed Grampa dismally, and as he spoke right out frank fashion chief industry of Ragbad, I'd better tell you bit more country itself, for your nose curling with curiosity and curly noses nearly so becoming used

with, Ragbad is in OZ-a small patch of kingdom way down south-western corner Quadling country reign of Fumbo's father it famous for its chintz and tapis trees, its red ginghams and calico vines, its cotton fields and its fine linens and lawns Indeed, at , all the dress goods in Oz grown gardens of Ragbad

But when Fumbo came throne, he began time reading and money for books and tobacco that he soon emptied the treasury and had no money the chintz and gingham pickers, nor to send the lawns laundry-they were always slightly dusty from being trodden on-and one after another the workers of Ragbad forced to seek living in other lands, now there were only twenty-seven families left, cotton fields and calico bushes, the chintz and tapis trees, from lack of care and cultivation, ran perfectly wild and yielded-instead of fine bolts of material-nothing but shreds, tatters and rags

The twenty-seven remaining Ragbadians, including the Redsmith, the Miller, the Baker and twenty-four rustic laborers, after vain attempt work of twenty-seven hundred, gave up in despair and became common rag-pickers rags, which fortunately were still plentiful, Mrs Sew-and-Sew good wives of Ragbad made all the clothing worn kingdom, besides countless rag rugs, money obtained sale rugs was all that kept the little country from absolute and utter ruin

splendid courtiers and servitors surrounding Fumbo's father only three remained, for that neither the servants nor the old nobility able to stand the hardships attendant upon poverty, had left in body the first morning Mrs Sew-and-Sew had served oatmeal without cream for breakfast The army, too, had deserted and marched off to Jinxland because the King buy them new uniforms, only three retainers were left old red castle hill Pudge, the oldest and fattest wise men, had stayed because fond room tower and of Mrs Sew-and-Sew's coffee Scroggles, the second footman, had stayed because he had old-fashioned notions duty, and Grampa, though long since discharged from active service, had stuck post like the gallant old soldier , and as there were no battles to fight, he tended the furnace, weeded the gardens and helped King Fumbo and Mrs Sew-and-Sew bring up their son to as fine young Prince as any in Oz

of Prince Tatters during all this bluster-that Grampa was thinking as he lay shivering under the carpet, and thunder stopped hammering ears he stuck out his head The wind, after snatching off ten roofs, the wings red mill and shaking all the little cottages till their very chimneys chattered, had rushed away over Red Mountain still raining, but Grampa, seeing worst was over, crawled carpet and began to look for trouble And what s'pose ? Why, the King, or , the best part King !

"Ragamercy ! " shrieked the old soldier, jumping behind tapis tree, thing he had never done in all nine hundred and eighty battles But his conduct surprise me at all, for Fumbo had lost his head storm, and was running wildly around without it-stumbling over bushes and vines and stamping his stockinged feet in perfect frenzy of fright and fury Now, , say at once that Fumbo the first King to lose his head and only answer that he first I ever heard of who went on living without it, and if Ragbad wonderful land of Oz say at once thing was impossible In Oz, however, one may come apart, but no one ever dies; so here was poor Fumbo, head clean off, as live and lively as ever

Breathing hard Grampa peered around the tapis tree again whether his eyes had deceived him But no, it King, without doubt, and without his head "Whatever will Mrs Sew-and-Sew do now," groaned Grampa, and pulling his campaign hat well down over his ears he dashed out and seizing Fumbo's arm began splashing garden, dragging the King along after him Mrs Sew-and-Sew had already reached the castle and was sitting broken-springed sofa that served for throne, sneezing violently She had rescued her quilt, but she had caught frightful cold All the colors quilt had run together, and this last calamity so upset the poor lady that she began sobbing and sneezing by turns But right middle fifteenth sneeze, she looked up and saw the old soldier game leg standing doorway

"Now don't be frightened," begged Grampa, advancing stiffly and dripping water all over the rug "Don't be alarmed, but same time prepare yourself for blow "

Mrs Sew-and-Sew, with her damp kerchief in her hand, had already been preparing herself for blow, but now, dropping the handkerchief, she sneezed instead and when, glancing over Grampa's shoulder she caught sight King, she sneezed again and fainted dead away and rolled under the sofa

" worse than battle," puffed Grampa, dashing King Queen, for every time he tried to help Mrs Sew-and-Sew the King fell over chair or upset table

"Halt ! About face and wheel to your left, can't you ? " roared the old soldier, mopping his forehead But instructions Fumbo, having no face about him, paid no attention Instead he wheeled right and swept all the ornaments mantel down old soldier's head, and then jumped on Grampa's good foot so hard that Grampa forgot for moment King, and thumped him ribs Then, muttering apologies, the old soldier seized curtain cord and tied Fumbo to red pillar This done, he reached under the sofa, pulled out Mrs Sew-and-Sew, and having nothing else handy gave her huge pinch of snuff Just as she came to, in garden, splashing water in every direction, rushed Prince Tatters and in kitchen pelted Pudge, the aged Wise Man

"The rag crop is ruined King will lose his head ! " panted Pudge, who had bad habit of predicting events after they had occurred

"Has lost his head," corrected Grampa, jerking his thumb over his shoulder

"But Grampa ! " Stumbling across the room, Prince Tatters shook the old soldier arm "When-how-why- he do ? "

"Do without it," sighed the old soldier, glancing uneasily at Fumbo

"The King has lost his head, long live his body ! " wheezed Pudge, rolling up his eyes

"Now don't cry, my dear ! " begged Grampa, scowling reprovingly at Pudge and patting Mrs Sew-and-Sew shoulder "Having no head really saves one no end of trouble No face to wash ! No more headaches, no ear aches, no tooth aches ! " Grampa's voice grew more and more cheerful "No lectures to listen to, no spectacles to hunt, no hair to lose, no more colds to catch Why really better off without head ! "

But Mrs Sew-and-Sew refused comforted and rocking to and fro moaned, "What shall ! What shall ? What shall ? "

"I tell you," proposed Pudge, pursing up his lips importantly "Let's all have strong cup of coffee " seemed sensible suggestion they all filed big red kitchen castle, leaving Fumbo kicking his heels against the stone pillar

CHAPTER 2

The Wise Man Speaks

"I SUPPOSE," sighed the old soldier, stirring his coffee handle sword, "it would do no good to hunt King's head garden ? "

Drying out blazing fire kitchen stove and sipping Mrs Sew-and-Sew's fragrant coffee the little company had grown more calm

"I'll just have look," said Prince Tatters, pushing back his chair, but the old Wise Man shook an impatient finger very idea thing

"When King's head goes off it goes off," declared Pudge huskily-"Way off as far off as it can go

"How far ? " asked the old soldier "And-"

"Hush, thinking," wheezed Pudge, ruffling up his hair with one hand and holding out his coffee cup other " thinking and presently speak Another cup of coffee, ma'am ! " his seventh cup and after he had sipped it deliberately, scraped all the sugar bottom and licked the spoon, he set down both cup and saucer, flung up his hands and spoke "Let Prince Tatters go in search father's head," said the old Wise Man of Ragbad "Let him seek same time his fortune, or Princess with fortune, for otherwise end as common rag-picker "