A Fruitless Assignment

by Ambrose Bierce

Henry Saylor, who was killed in Covington, in aquarrel with Antonio Finch, was areporter on_the Cincinnati Commercial . in_the year 1859 avacant dwelling in Vine street, in Cincinnati, became the center of alocal excitement because of_the strange sights and sounds said to_be observed in_it nightly .According to_the testimony of many reputable residents of_the vicinity these were inconsistent with any_other hypothesis than that_the house was haunted .Figures with something singularly unfamiliar about_them were seen by crowds on_the sidewalk to_pass in and out .No one could_say just where they appeared upon_the open lawn on their way to_the front door by_which they entered, nor at exactly what point they vanished as_they came out; or, rather, while each spectator was positive enough about these matters, no two agreed .They were all similarly at variance in their descriptions of_the figures themselves . some_of_the bolder of_the curious throng ventured on several evenings to stand upon_the doorsteps to intercept them, or failing in_this, get anearer look at them .These courageous men, it_was said, were unable to force the door by their united strength, and always were hurled from_the steps by some invisible agency and severely injured; the door immediately afterward opening, apparently of_its own volition, to admit or free some ghostly guest .The dwelling was known as_the Roscoe house, afamily of_that name having lived there for_some_years, and then, one by one, disappeared, the last to leave being an old woman .Stories of foul play and successive murders had always been rife, but never were authenticated .

One day during the prevalence of_the excitement Saylor presented himself at_the office of_the Commercial for orders .He received anote from_the city editor which read as follows: "Go and pass the night alone in_the haunted house in Vine street and if anything occurs worth while make two columns ." Saylor obeyed his superior; he_could_not afford to lose his position on_the paper .

Apprising the police of_his intention, he effected an entrance through arear window before dark, walked through_the deserted rooms, bare of furniture, dusty and desolate, and seating himself at last in_the parlor on an old sofa which he had dragged in from another room watched the deepening of_the gloom as night came on .Before it_was altogether dark the curious crowd had collected in_the street, silent, as arule, and expectant, with here and there ascoffer uttering his incredulity and courage with scornful remarks or ribald cries .None knew of_the anxious watcher inside .He feared to_make alight; the uncurtained windows would_have betrayed his presence, subjecting him to insult, possibly to injury .Moreover, he_was too conscientious to_do anything to enfeeble his impressions and unwilling to alter any of_the customary conditions under which the manifestations were said to occur .

it_was now dark outside, but light from_the street faintly illuminated the part of_the room that he_was in .He had set open every door in_the whole interior, above and below, but all the outer ones were locked and bolted .Sudden exclamations from_the crowd caused him to spring to_the window and look out . he_saw the figure of aman moving rapidly across the lawn toward the building--saw it ascend the steps; then aprojection of_the wall concealed it . there_was anoise as of_the opening and closing of_the hall door; he heard quick, heavy footsteps along the passage--heard them ascend the stairs--heard them on_the uncarpeted floor of_the chamber immediately overhead .

Saylor promptly drew his pistol, and groping his way up the stairs entered the chamber, dimly lighted from_the street .No one was there .He heard footsteps in an adjoining room and entered that . it_was dark and silent .He struck his foot against some object on_the floor, knelt by_it, passed his hand over it . it_was ahuman head--that of awoman .Lifting it by_the hair this iron-nerved man returned to_the half-lighted room below, carried it near the window and attentively examined it .While so engaged he_was half conscious of_the rapid opening and closing of_the outer door, of footfalls sounding all about him .He raised his eyes from_the ghastly object of_his attention and saw himself the center of acrowd of men_and_women dimly seen; the room was thronged with_them .He thought the people had broken in .

"Ladies and gentlemen," he_said, coolly, " you_see me under suspicious circumstances, but"--his voice was drowned in peals of laughter--such laughter as is heard in asylums for_the insane .The persons about him pointed at_the object in_his hand and their merriment increased as he dropped it and it went rolling among their feet .They danced about_it with gestures grotesque and attitudes obscene and indescribable .They struck it with their feet, urging it about_the room from wall to wall; pushed and overthrew one another in their struggles to kick it; cursed and screamed and sang snatches of ribald songs as_the battered head bounded about_the room as_if in terror and trying to escape .At last it shot out_of_the door into_the hall, followed by all, with tumultuous haste .That moment the door closed with asharp concussion .Saylor was alone, in dead silence .

Carefully putting away his pistol, which all the time he had held in_his hand, he went to awindow and looked out .The street was deserted and silent; the lamps were extinguished; the roofs and chimneys of_the houses were sharply outlined against the dawn-light in_the east .He left the house, the door yielding easily to_his hand, and walked to_the Commercial office .The city editor was still in_his office--asleep .Saylor waked him and said: " I_have_been at_the haunted house ."

The editor stared blankly as if_not wholly awake ."Good God ! " he cried, " are_you Saylor ? "

"Yes-- why_not ? " The editor made no answer, but continued staring .

"I passed the night there--it seems," said Saylor .

"They say that things were uncommonly quiet out there," the editor said, trifling with apaper-weight upon_which he had dropped his eyes, "did anything occur ? "

"Nothing whatever ."