Colonel Starbottle for the Plaintiff by Bret Harte
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in_them .

"I beg your pardon," he_said, hurriedly ."I mean-- this_matter may_be arranged--er--amicably .My interest with--and as_you wisely say--my--er--knowledge of_my client--er-- Mr Hotchkiss--may affect--a compromise ."

"And damages_," said the young girl, readdressing her parasol, as_if she had never looked up .

The Colonel winced ."And--er--undoubtedly compensation_-- if_you_do_not press afulfilment of_the promise .Unless," he_said, with an attempted return to_his former easy gallantry, which, however, the recollection of her eyes made difficult, " it_is aquestion of--er--the affections ? "

"Which ? " said his fair client, softly .

" if_you still love him ? " explained the Colonel, actually blushing .

Zaidee again looked up; again taking the Colonel's breath away with eyes that expressed not_only the fullest perception of what he had _said_, but of what he thought and had_not said, and with an added subtle suggestion of what he_might_have thought ."That's tellin'," she said, dropping her long lashes again .The Colonel laughed vacantly .Then feeling himself growing imbecile, he forced an equally weak gravity ."Pardon me--I understand there_are no letters; may I_know the way in_which he formulated his declaration and promises ? "

"Hymn-books," said the girl, briefly .

"I beg your pardon," said the mystified lawyer .

"Hymn-books--marked words in_them with pencil--and passed 'em on to_me," repeated Zaidee ."Like 'love,' 'dear,' 'precious,' 'sweet,' and 'blessed,'" she added, accenting each word with apush of her parasol on_the carpet ."Sometimes awhole line outer Tate and Brady--and _Solomon's Song_, you_know, and sich ."

"I believe," said the Colonel, loftily, " that_the--er--phrases of sacred psalmody lend themselves to_the language of_the affections .But in regard to_the distinct promise of marriage--was there--er--no _other expression ? "

"Marriage Service in_the prayer-book--lines and words outer that--all marked," said Zaidee .The Colonel nodded naturally and approvingly ." very_good .Were others cognizant of_this ? Were there any witnesses ? "

" of_course not," said the girl ."Only me and him . it_was generally at church-time--or prayer-meeting .Once, in passing the plate, he slipped one o' them peppermint lozenges with_the letters stamped on_it 'I love you' for_me to_take ."

The Colonel coughed slightly ."And you_have the lozenge ? "

"I ate it," said the girl, simply .

"Ah," said the Colonel .After apause he added, delicately: "But were these attentions--er--confined to--er---sacred precincts ? Did he meet you elsewhere ? "

"Useter pass our house on_the road," returned the girl, dropping into her monotonous recital, "and useter signal ."

"Ah, signal ? " repeated the Colonel, approvingly .

"Yes ! He'd say 'Kerrow,' and I'd say 'Kerree .' Suthing like abird, you_know ."

Indeed, as she lifted her voice in imitation of_the call the Colonel thought it certainly very sweet and birdlike . at_least as she gave it . with_his remembrance of_the grim deacon he had doubts as_to_the melodiousness of_his utterance .He gravely made her repeat it .

"And after_that signal ? " he added, suggestively .

"He'd pass on," said the girl .

The Colonel coughed slightly, and tapped his desk with_his pen-holder .

"Were there any endearments--er--caresses--er--such as taking your hand--er--clasping your waist ? " he suggested, with agallant yet respectful sweep of_his white hand and bowing of_his head;--"er-- slight pressure of your fingers in_the changes of adance--I mean," he corrected himself, with an apologetic cough--" in_the passing of_the plate ? "

"No;-- he_was not what you'd call 'fond,'" returned the girl .

"Ah ! Adoniram K .Hotchkiss was not 'fond' in_the ordinary acceptance of_the word," said the Colonel, with professional gravity .

She lifted her disturbing eyes, and again absorbed his in her own .She also said "Yes," although her eyes in their mysterious prescience of all he_was thinking disclaimed the necessity of any answer at all .He smiled vacantly . there_was along pause . on_which she slowly disengaged her parasol from_the carpet pattern and stood up .

"I reckon that's about all," she said .

"Er--yes--but one moment," said the Colonel, vaguely . he_would_have liked to_keep her longer, but with her strange premonition of him he_felt powerless to detain her, or explain his reason for doing_so .He instinctively knew she had told him all; his professional judgment told him that amore hopeless case had never come to_his knowledge .Yet he_was not daunted, only embarrassed ."No matter," he_said, vaguely ." of_course I_shall_have to consult with_you again ." Her eyes again answered that she expected he_would, but she added, simply, "When ? "

" in_the course of a day_or_two," said the Colonel, quickly ." i_will send_you word ." She turned to_go . in_his eagerness to open the door for her he upset his chair, and with some confusion, that was actually youthful, he almost impeded her movements in_the hall, and knocked his broad-brimmed Panama hat from_his bowing hand in afinal gallant sweep .Yet as her small, trim, youthful figure, with its simple Leghorn straw hat confined by ablue bow under her round chin, passed away before him, she looked more like achild than ever .

The Colonel spent that afternoon in making diplomatic inquiries . he_found his youthful client was_the daughter of awidow who had asmall ranch on_the cross-roads, near the new Free-Will Baptist church--the evident theatre of_this pastoral .They led asecluded life; the girl being little known in_the town, and her beauty and fascination apparently not yet being arecognized fact .The Colonel felt apleasurable relief at_this, and ageneral satisfaction he_could_not account for .His few inquiries concerning Mr Hotchkiss only confirmed his own impressions of_the alleged lover--a serious-minded, practically abstracted man--abstentive of youthful society, and_the last man apparently capable of levity of_the affections or serious flirtation .The Colonel was mystified--but determined of purpose--whatever that purpose might_have_been .

The next_day he_was at his office at_the same hour . he_was alone--as usual--the Colonel's office really being his private lodgings, disposed in connecting rooms, asingle apartment reserved for consultation .He had no clerk; his papers and briefs being taken by his faithful body-servant and ex-slave "Jim" to another firm who did his office-work since_the death of Major Stryker--the Colonel's only law partner, who fell in aduel some_years previous .With afine constancy the Colonel still retained his partner's name on_his door-plate--and, it_was alleged by_the superstitious, kept acertain invincibility also through_the manes of_that lamented and somewhat feared man .

The Colonel consulted his watch, whose heavy gold case still showed the marks of aprovidential interference with abullet destined for its owner, and replaced it with some difficulty and shortness of breath in_his fob . at_the same moment he heard astep in_the passage, and_the door opened to Adoniram K .Hotchkiss .The Colonel was impressed; he had aduellist's respect for punctuality .

The man entered with anod and_the expectant, inquiring look of abusy man .As his feet crossed that sacred threshold the Colonel became all courtesy; he placed achair for_his visitor, and took his hat from_his half-reluctant hand .He then opened acupboard and brought out abottle of whiskey and two glasses .

"A--er--slight refreshment, Mr Hotchkiss," he suggested, politely ."I never drink," replied Hotchkiss, with_the severe attitude of atotal abstainer ."Ah--er--not the finest bourbon whiskey, selected by aKentucky friend ? No ? Pardon me ! acigar, then--the mildest Havana ."

" I_do_not use tobacco nor alcohol in any form," repeated Hotchkiss, ascetically ." I_have no foolish weaknesses ."

The Colonel's moist, beady eyes swept silently over his client's sallow face .He leaned back comfortably in_his chair, and half closing his eyes as in dreamy reminiscence, said, slowly: "Your reply, Mr Hotchkiss, reminds me of--er--sing'lar circumstances that --er--occurred, in point of fact-- at_the St .Charles Hotel, New Orleans .Pinkey Hornblower--personal friend--invited Senator Doolittle to join him in social glass .Received, sing'larly enough, reply similar to yours .'Don't drink nor smoke ? ' said Pinkey .'Gad, sir, you_must_be mighty sweet on_the ladies .' Ha ! " The Colonel paused long enough to allow the faint flush to_pass from Hotchkiss's cheek, and went on, half closing his eyes: "'I allow no man, sir, to discuss my personal habits,' said Doolittle, over his shirt collar .'Then I reckon shootin' must_be one of_those habits,' said Pinkey, coolly .Both men drove out on_the Shell Road back of cemetery next morning .Pinkey put bullet at twelve paces through Doolittle's temple .Poor Doo never spoke again .Left three wives and seven children, they say --two of 'em black ."

"I got anote from_you this_morning," said Hotchkiss, with badly concealed impatience ."I suppose in reference to our case . you_have taken judgment, I believe ." The Colonel, without replying, slowly filled aglass of whiskey and water .For amoment he held it dreamily before him, as_if still engaged in gentle reminiscences called up by_the act .Then tossing it off, he wiped his lips with alarge white handkerchief, and leaning back comfortably in_his chair, said, with awave of_his hand, "The interview I requested, Mr Hotchkiss, concerns asubject--which I_may say is--er--er--at present not of apublic or business nature--although later it might become--er--er--both . it_is an affair of some--er--delicacy ."

The Colonel paused, and Mr Hotchkiss regarded him with increased impatience .The Colonel, however, continued, with unchanged deliberation: "It concerns--er--a young lady--a beautiful, high-souled creature, sir, who, apart from her personal loveliness-- er--er-- I_may say is of one_of_the first families of Missouri, and-- er--not--remotely connected by marriage with one of--er--er--my boyhood's dearest friends .The latter, I grieve to_say, was apure invention of_the Colonel's--an oratorical addition to_the scanty information he had obtained the previous day .The young lady," he continued, blandly, "enjoys the further distinction of being the object of_such attention from_you as would make this interview-- really--a confidential matter--er--er--among friends and--er--er-- relations in present and future . I_need not say that_the lady I refer to is Miss Zaidee Juno Hooker, only daughter of Almira Ann Hooker, relict of Jefferson Brown Hooker, formerly of Boone County, Kentucky, and latterly of--er--Pike County, Missouri ."

The sallow, ascetic hue of Mr Hotchkiss's face had passed through alivid and then agreenish shade, and finally settled into asullen red ."What's all this about ? " he demanded, roughly .The least touch of belligerent fire came into Starbottle's eye, but his bland courtesy did_not change ."I believe," he_said, politely, " I_have_made myself clear as between--er--gentlemen, though perhaps not as clear as i_should to--er--er--jury ."

Mr Hotchkiss was apparently struck with some significance in_the lawyer's reply ."I don't know," he_said, in alower and more cautious voice, "what you mean by what you call 'my attentions' to-- any_one--or how it concerns you . I_have_not exhausted half adozen words with--the person you name--have never written her aline--nor even called at her house ." He rose with an assumption of ease, pulled down his waistcoat, buttoned his coat, and took up his hat .The Colonel did_not move ."I believe I_have already indicated my meaning in what I_have called 'your attentions,'" said the Colonel, blandly, "and given you my 'concern' for speaking as--er--er mutual friend . as_to your_ statement of your relations with Miss Hooker, I_may state that_it_is fully corroborated by_the statement of_the young lady herself in_this very office yesterday ."

"Then what does this impertinent nonsense mean ? Why am I summoned here ? " said Hotchkiss, furiously .

"Because," said the Colonel, deliberately, "that statement is infamously--yes, damnably to your discredit, sir ! "

Mr Hotchkiss was here seized by one of_those important and inconsistent rages which occasionally betray the habitually cautious and timid man


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