by Mark Twain

"Now that corpse [said the undertaker, patting the folded hands deceased approvingly] was brick--every way you took him brick so real accommodating, and so modest-like and simple last moments Friends wanted metallic burial case--nothing else would do I couldn't get it There warn't going time anybody that Corpse said never mind, shake him up some kind of box stretch out in comfortable, he warn't particular 'bout the general style of it Said he went more on room than style, , last final container Friends wanted silver door-plate coffin, signifying who and wher' from Now fellow couldn't roust out such gaily thing in little country town like this What did corpse say ? Corpse said, whitewash his old canoe and dob his address and general destination onto it with blacking brush and stencil plate, long with verse from some likely hymn or other, and pint him tomb, and mark him C O D , and just let him skip along He warn't distressed any more than you be-- contrary just as carm and collected as hearse-horse; said he judged that wher' going to, body would find it considerable better to attract attention by picturesque moral character than natty burial case with swell doorplate Splendid man, I'd druther do for corpse like that 'n any I've tackled in seven year There's some satisfaction in buryin' man like that You feel that what you're doing is appreciated Lord bless you, so's he got planted before he sp'iled, perfectly satisfied; said his relations meant well, perfectly well, but all them preparations was bound to delay the thing more or less, and he didn't wish kept layin' round You never see such clear head as what he had--and so carm and so cool Just hunk of brains what Perfectly awful ripping distance from one end man's head to t'other Often and over again he's had brain fever a-raging in one place, rest pile didn't know anything --didn't affect it any more than an Injun insurrection in Arizona affects the Atlantic States Well, the relations they wanted big funeral, but corpse said down on flummery--didn't want any procession--fill the hearse full of mourners, and get out stern line and tow him behind He most down on style of any remains I ever struck beautiful, simple-minded creature-- what , depend just set on having things the way them, and solid comfort in laying his little plans He had me measure him and take whole raft of directions; then he had minister stand up behind long box with tablecloth over it and read his funeral sermon, saying 'Angcore, angcore ! ' good places, and making him scratch out every bit of brag about him, and all the hifalutin; and then them trot out the choir so's help them pick out the tunes occasion, and he got them to sing 'Pop Goes the Weasel,' because he'd always liked that tune when downhearted, and solemn music made him sad; and sung that with tears in their eyes (because they all loved him), relations grieving around, he just laid there as happy as bug, and trying to beat time and showing all over he enjoyed it; and presently he got worked up and excited; and tried to join in, for mind you pretty proud abilities singing line; but the first time he opened his mouth and was just going to spread himself, his breath took walk I never see man snuffed out so sudden Ah, great loss-- powerful loss poor little one-horse town Well, well, well, I hain't got time palavering along here--got to nail lid and mosey along with' him; and 'll just lift we'll skeet him hearse and meander along Relations bound it so--don't pay no attention to dying injunctions, minute corpse's gone; but if I had my way, if I didn't respect his last wishes and tow him behind the hearse, I'll be cuss'd I consider that whatever corpse wants done comfort is little enough matter, and man hain't got no right to deceive him or take advantage of him--and whatever corpse trusts me I'm a-going , , even 's to stuff him and paint him yaller and keep him for keepsake--you hear me ! "

He cracked his whip and went lumbering away ancient ruin of hearse, and I continued my walk with valuable lesson learned--that healthy and wholesome cheerfulness necessarily impossible to any occupation The lesson is likely lasting, for take many months to obliterate the memory remarks and circumstances that impressed it