The Fish-Footman began by producing from under his arm great letter, nearly as large as himself, and this he handed over other, saying, in solemn tone, ' Duchess An invitation Queen to play croquet ' The Frog-Footman repeated, same solemn tone, only changing the order words little, ' Queen An invitation Duchess to play croquet '

Then they both bowed low, and their curls got entangled together

Alice laughed , that she had to run back wood for fear hearing her; and when she next peeped out the Fish-Footman was gone, other was sitting ground near the door, staring stupidly up sky

Alice went timidly door, and knocked

'There's no sort of use in knocking,' said the Footman, ' for two reasons First, because I'm same side door ; secondly, because they're making such noise inside, no one could possibly hear you ' And certainly most extraordinary noise going on within--a constant howling and sneezing, and every great crash, dish or kettle broken to pieces

'Please, then,' said Alice, 'how am I in ? '

' some sense in your knocking,' the Footman went on without attending to her, ' had the door For instance, were inside, knock, and let you out, ' looking up sky all the time speaking, and this Alice thought decidedly uncivil 'But perhaps 't help it,' she said to herself; 'his eyes are so very nearly top head But at any rate he might answer questions --How am I in ? ' she repeated, aloud

' sit here,' the Footman remarked, 'till tomorrow--'

moment the door house opened, and large plate came skimming out, straight Footman's head: it just grazed his nose, and broke to pieces against trees behind him

'--or , maybe,' the Footman continued same tone, exactly nothing had happened

'How am I in ? ' asked Alice again, in louder tone

' in at all ? ' said the Footman 'That's the first question, '

, : only Alice like told so 'It's really dreadful,' she muttered to herself, 'the way all the creatures argue It's enough to drive one crazy ! '

The Footman seemed this good opportunity for repeating his remark, with variations ' sit here,' , 'on and off, for days and days '

'But what am I ? ' said Alice

'Anything you like,' said the Footman, and began whistling

'Oh, there's no use in talking to him,' said Alice desperately: 'he's perfectly idiotic ! ' And she opened the door and went in

The door led right into large kitchen, full of smoke from one end other: the Duchess was sitting on three-legged stool middle, nursing baby; the cook was leaning over the fire, stirring large cauldron which seemed full of soup

'There's certainly pepper soup ! ' Alice said to herself, as for sneezing

certainly of it air Even the Duchess sneezed occasionally; and as baby, sneezing and howling alternately without moment's pause The only things kitchen that sneeze, were the cook, and large cat sitting hearth and grinning from ear to ear

'Please would you tell me,' said Alice, little timidly, for she was not whether good manners for her first, 'why your cat grins like that ? '

'It's Cheshire cat,' said the Duchess, ' 's why Pig ! '

She said the last word sudden violence that Alice quite jumped; but she saw in another moment addressed baby, and not to her, so she took courage, and went on again:--

'I didn't know that Cheshire cats always grinned; , I didn't know that cats could grin '

'They all can,' said the Duchess; 'and most of 'em do '

'I don't know of any ,' Alice said very politely, feeling quite pleased got into conversation

'You don't know much,' said the Duchess; ' 's fact '

Alice at all like the tone remark, and thought it to introduce some other subject of conversation While she was trying to fix on one, the cook took the cauldron of soup off the fire, and at once set to work throwing everything within her reach Duchess baby --the fire-irons came first; then followed shower of saucepans, plates, and dishes The Duchess took no notice even hit her; baby was howling already, quite impossible whether the blows hurt it or not

'Oh, please mind what you're doing ! ' cried Alice, jumping up and down in an agony of terror 'Oh, there goes his precious nose'; as an unusually large saucepan flew close , and very nearly carried it off

'If everybody minded their own business,' the Duchess said in hoarse growl, 'the world would go round deal faster than it does '

'Which an advantage,' said Alice, who felt an opportunity of showing off little of her knowledge 'Just think of what work it would make day and night ! the earth takes twenty-four hours round on its axis--'

'Talking of axes,' said the Duchess, 'chop off her head ! '

Alice glanced rather anxiously cook, if she meant to hint; but the cook was busily stirring the soup, and seemed not listening, so she went on again: 'Twenty-four hours, ; or twelve ? I--'

'Oh, don't bother me,' said the Duchess; 'I never could abide figures ! ' And she began nursing her child again, singing sort of lullaby as she did so, and giving it violent shake end of every line:

'Speak roughly to your little boy, And beat him when he sneezes He only does it to annoy, Because it teases '

CHORUS

( cook baby joined):--

'Wow ! wow ! wow ! '

While the Duchess sang the second verse song, she kept tossing the baby violently up and down, poor little thing howled so, that Alice could hardly hear the words:--

'I speak severely to my boy, I beat him when he sneezes; For thoroughly enjoy The pepper when he pleases ! '

CHORUS

'Wow ! wow ! wow ! '

'Here ! nurse it bit, like ! ' the Duchess said to Alice, flinging the baby at her as she spoke ' go and get ready to play croquet Queen,' and she hurried room The cook threw frying-pan after her as she went out, but it just missed her

Alice caught the baby with some difficulty, as queer- shaped little creature, and held out its arms and legs in all directions, 'just like star-fish,' thought Alice The poor little thing was snorting like steam-engine when she caught it, and kept doubling itself up and straightening itself out again, altogether, first minute or two, as do to hold it

she had made out the proper way of nursing it, ( to twist it up into sort of knot, and then keep tight hold right ear and left foot, so as its undoing itself,) she carried it out open air 'If I don't take this child away with me,' thought Alice, 'they're sure to kill it in : wouldn't it be murder to leave it behind ? ' She said the last words out loud, little thing grunted in reply (it had left off sneezing ) 'Don't grunt,' said Alice; 'that's not at all proper way of expressing yourself '

The baby grunted again, and Alice looked very anxiously into its face the matter with it There had very turn-up nose, much more like snout than real nose; also its eyes were getting extremely small for baby: altogether Alice like the look thing at all 'But perhaps only sobbing,' she thought, and looked into its eyes again, if there were any tears

No, there were no tears ' 're going into pig, my dear,' said Alice, seriously, 'I'll have nothing more Mind now ! ' The poor little thing sobbed again (or grunted, impossible which), went on for some while in silence

Alice was just beginning to herself, 'Now, what am I creature when I get it home ? ' when it grunted again, so violently, that she looked down into its face in some alarm there no mistake : neither more nor pig, and she felt quite absurd for her to carry it further

So she set the little creature down, and felt quite relieved it trot away quietly wood ' had grown up,' she said to herself, 'it made dreadfully ugly child: but it makes rather handsome pig, ' And she began thinking over other children she knew, do as pigs, and was just saying to herself, 'if one only knew the right way them--' when she was little startled by seeing the Cheshire Cat sitting on bough of tree few yards off

The Cat only grinned when it saw Alice It looked good-natured, she thought: still it had very long claws and teeth, so she felt treated with respect

'Cheshire Puss,' she began, rather timidly, as she at all know whether it would like the name: however, it only grinned little wider 'Come, it's pleased ,' thought Alice, and she went on 'Would you tell me, please, I ought from here ? '