Wieland's Maddness by Charles Brockden Brown
Section [1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13]
lock, but my fingers were powerless; i_was visited afresh by unconquerable apprehensions .a sort of belief darted into my mind that some being was concealed within whose purposes were evil .I began to contend with those fears, when it occurred to_me that I_might, without impropriety, go for a lamp previously to opening the closet .I receded a few steps; but before I reached the chamber door my thoughts took a new direction . motion seemed to_produce a mechanical influence upon me . i_was ashamed of_my weakness . besides, what aid could_be afforded me by a lamp ?

my fears had pictured to themselves no precise object . it would_be difficult to depict in words the ingredients and hues of_that phantom which haunted me .a hand invisible and of preternatural strength, lifted by human passions, and selecting my life for its aim, were parts of_this terrific image . all places were alike accessible to_this foe; or, if his empire were restricted by local bounds, those bounds were utterly inscrutable by me . but had I not been told, by some one in league with_this enemy, that every place but the recess in_the bank was exempt from danger ?

I returned to_the closet, and once more put my hand upon_the lock .Oh, may my ears lose their sensibility ere they be again assailed by a shriek so terrible ! not merely my understanding was subdued by_the sound; it acted on my nerves like an edge of steel . it appeared to cut asunder the fibers of_my brain and rack every joint with agony .

the cry, loud and piercing as it_was, was nevertheless human . no articulation was ever more distinct . the breath which accompanied it did_not fan my hair, yet did every circumstance combine to_persuade me that_the lips which uttered it touched my very shoulder .

" hold ! hold ! " were the words of_this tremendous prohibition, in whose tone the whole soul seemed to_be wrapped up, and every energy converted into eagerness and terror .

Shuddering, I dashed myself against the wall, and, by_the same involuntary impulse, turned my face backward to examine the mysterious monitor . the moonlight streamed into each window, and every corner of_the room was conspicuous, and yet I beheld nothing !

the interval was too brief to_be artificially measured, between_the utterance of_these words and my scrutiny directed to_the quarter whence they came . yet, if a human being had_been there, could he fail to_have_been visible ? which of_my senses was_the prey of a fatal illusion ? the shock which the sound produced was still felt in every part of_my frame . the sound, therefore, could_not but be a genuine commotion . but that I had heard it_was not more true than that_the being who uttered it_was stationed at my right ear; yet my attendant was invisible .

I_cannot describe the state of_my thoughts at_that moment . surprise had mastered my faculties . my frame shook, and_the vital current was congealed . i_was conscious only of_the vehemence of_my sensations . this condition could_not_be lasting . like a tide, which suddenly mounts to an overwhelming height and then gradually subsides, my confusion slowly gave place to order, and my tumults to a calm . i_was able to deliberate and move .I resumed my feet, and advanced into_the midst of_the room . upward, and behind, and on each side, I threw penetrating glances . i_was not satisfied with one examination . he that hitherto refused to_be seen might change his purpose, and on_the next survey be clearly distinguishable .

solitude imposes least restraint upon_the fancy . dark is less fertile of images than_the feeble luster of_the moon . i_was alone, and_the walls were checkered by shadowy forms . as_the moon passed behind a cloud and emerged, these shadows seemed to_be endowed with life, and to move . the apartment was open to_the breeze, and_the curtain was occasionally blown from its ordinary position . this motion was not unaccompanied with sound .I failed not to snatch a look and to listen when_this motion and this sound occurred . my belief that my monitor was posted near was strong, and instantly converted these appearances to tokens of_his presence; and yet I_could discern nothing .

when my thoughts were at_length permitted to revert to_the past, the first idea that occurred was_the resemblance between_the words of_the voice which I had just heard and those which had terminated my dream in_the summer- house . there_are means by which_we_are able to distinguish a substance from a shadow, a reality from_the phantom of a dream . the pit, my brother beckoning me forward, the seizure of_my arm, and_the voice behind, were surely imaginary . that_these incidents were fashioned in my sleep is supported by_the same indubitable evidence that compels me to_believe myself awake at present; yet the words and_the voice were the same . then, by some inexplicable contrivance, i_was aware of_the danger, while my actions and sensations were those of one wholly unacquainted with it . now, was_it not equally true that my actions and persuasions were at war ? had_not the belief that evil lurked in_the closet gained admittance, and had_not my actions betokened an unwarrantable security ? to obviate the effects of_my infatuation, the same means had_been used .

in my dream, he that tempted me to my destruction was my brother . death was ambushed in my path . from what evil was I now rescued ? what minister or implement of ill was shut up in_this recess ? who was_it whose suffocating grasp i_was to_feel should I dare to enter it ? what monstrous conception is_this ? my brother ?

no; protection, and not injury, is his province . strange and terrible chimera ! yet it would_not_be suddenly dismissed . it_was surely no vulgar agency that gave this form to my fears . he to_whom all parts of_time are equally present, whom no contingency approaches, was_the author of_that spell which now seized upon me . life was dear to_me . no consideration was present that enjoined me to relinquish it . sacred duty combined with every spontaneous sentiment to endear to_me my being . should I not shudder when my being was endangered ? but what emotion should possess me when_the arm lifted against me was Wieland's ?

Ideas exist in_our minds that_can_be accounted for by no established laws . why did I dream that my brother was my foe ? why but because an omen of_my fate was ordained to_be communicated ? yet what salutary end did it serve ? did it arm me with caution to elude or fortitude to bear the evils to_which i_was reserved ? my present thoughts were, no_doubt, indebted for their hue to_the similitude existing between_these incidents and those of_my dream . surely it_was frenzy that dictated my deed . that a ruffian was hidden in_the closet was an idea the genuine tendency of which_was to urge me to flight . such had_been the effect formerly produced . had my mind been simply occupied with_this thought at present, no_doubt the same impulse would_have_been experienced; but now it_was my brother whom i_was irresistibly persuaded to regard as_the contriver of_that ill of_which I had_been forewarned . this persuasion did_not extenuate my fears or my danger . why then did I again approach the closet and withdraw the bolt ? my resolution was instantly conceived, and executed without faltering .

the door was formed of light materials . the lock, of simple structure, easily forewent its hold . it opened into_the room, and commonly moved upon its hinges, after being unfastened, without any effort of_mine . this effort, however, was bestowed upon_the present occasion . it_was my purpose to open it with quickness; but the exertion which I_made was ineffectual . it refused to open .

at another time, this circumstance would_not have looked with a face of mystery . i_should_have supposed some casual obstruction and repeated my efforts to surmount it . but now my mind was accessible to no conjecture but one . the door was hindered from opening by human force . surely, here was a new cause for affright . this_was confirmation proper to decide my conduct . now was all ground of hesitation taken away . what could_be supposed but that I deserted the chamber and_the house ? that I at_least endeavored no longer to withdraw the door ?

have I not said that my actions were dictated by frenzy ? my reason had forborne, for a time, to suggest or to sway my resolves .I reiterated my endeavors .I exerted all my force to overcome the obstacle, but in vain . the strength that was exerted to_keep it shut was superior to mine .

a casual observer might, perhaps, applaud the audaciousness of_this conduct . whence, but from a habitual Defiance of danger, could my perseverance arise ? I_have already assigned, as distinctly as I_am able, the cause of it . the frantic conception that my brother was within, that_the resistance made to my design was exerted by him, had rooted itself in my mind . you_will comprehend the height of_this infatuation, when I tell you that, finding all my exertions vain, I betook myself to exclamations . surely i_was utterly bereft of understanding .

now I had arrived at_the crisis of_my fate ."Oh, hinder not the door to open," I exclaimed, in a tone that had less of fear than of grief in_it ." I_know you well . come forth, but harm me not .I beseech you, come forth ."

I had taken my hand from_the lock and removed to a small distance from_the door .I had scarcely uttered these words, when_the door swung upon its hinges and displayed to my view the interior of_the closet . whoever was within was shrouded in darkness .a few seconds passed without interruption of_the silence . I_knew not what to expect or to fear . my eyes would_not stray from_the recess . presently, a deep sigh was heard . the quarter from_which it came heightened the eagerness of_my gaze . some one approached from_the farther end .I quickly perceived the outlines of a human figure . its steps were irresolute and slow .I recoiled as it advanced .

by coming at_length within_the verge of_the room, his form was clearly distinguishable .I had prefigured to myself a very different personage . the face that presented itself was_the last that i_should desire to meet at an hour and in a place like this . my wonder was stifled by my fears .Assassins had lurked in_this recess . some divine voice warned me of danger that at_this moment awaited me .I had spurned the intimation, and challenged my adversary .

I recalled the mysterious countenance and dubious character of Carwin . what motive but atrocious ones could guide his steps hither ? i_was alone . my habit suited the hour, and_the place, and_the warmth of_the season . all succor was remote . he had placed himself between me and_the door . my frame shook with_the vehemence of_my apprehensions .

yet i_was not wholly lost to myself; I vigilantly marked his demeanor . his looks were grave, but not without perturbation . what species of inquietude it betrayed the light was not strong enough to enable me to discover . he stood still; but his eyes wandered from one object to another . when these powerful organs were fixed upon me, I shrunk into myself . at_length he broke silence . earnestness, and not embarrassment, was in_his tone . he advanced close to_me while he spoke:--

" what voice was_that which lately addressed you ? "

he paused for an answer; but, observing my trepidation, he resumed, with undiminished solemnity, " be not terrified . whoever he_was, he has_done you an important service . I_need not ask_you if_it were the voice of a companion . that sound was beyond the compass of human organs . the knowledge that enabled him to_tell you who was in_the closet was obtained by incomprehensible means .

" you_knew that Carwin was there . were you not apprised of_his intents ? the same power could impart the one as_well as_the other . yet, knowing these, you persisted . audacious girl ! but perhaps you confided in_his guardianship . your confidence was just . with succor like this at hand you_may safely defy me .

" he_is my eternal foe; the baffler of_my best- concerted schemes . twice have_you been saved by his accursed interposition . but for him i_should long ere now have borne away the spoils of your honor ."

he looked at me with greater steadfastness than before .I became every moment more anxious for_my safety . it_was with difficulty I stammered out an entreaty that he_would instantly depart, or suffer me to_do_so . he paid no regard to my request, but proceeded in a more impassioned manner:--

" what_is it you fear ? have I not told you you_are safe ? has_not one in whom you more reasonably place trust assured you of it ? even if I execute my purpose, what injury is done ? your prejudices will call it by_that name, but it merits it not .

" i_was impelled by a sentiment


Section [1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13]