The Watkinson Evening by Eliza Leslie
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good taste, has decided that, at a summer party, the costume of_the ladies should never go beyond an elegant simplicity . therefore our two ladies in preparing for their intended appearance at Mrs St . Leonard's, were enabled to attire themselves in a manner that_would not seem out of place in_the smaller company they expected to meet at_the Watkinsons . over an under- dress of lawn, Caroline Morland put on a white organdy trimmed with lace, and decorated with bows of pink ribbon . at_the back of her head was a wreath of fresh and beautiful pink flowers, tied with a similar ribbon .Mrs Morland wore a black grenadine over a satin, and a lace cap trimmed with white .

it_was but a quarter past nine o'clock when their carriage stopped at_the Watkinson door . the front of_the house looked very dark . not a ray gleamed through_the Venetian shutters, and_the glimmer beyond the fan- light over the door was almost imperceptible . after_the coachman had rung several_times, an Irish girl opened the door, cautiously ( as Irish girls always do), and admitted them into_the entry, where one light only was burning in a branch lamp ." shall we go upstairs ? " said Mrs Morland ." and what for would ye go upstairs ? " said the girl in a pert tone ." it's all dark there, and there's no preparations . ye can lave your things here a-hanging on_the rack . it_is a party ye're expecting ? Blessed are them what expects nothing ."

the sanguine Edward Morland looked rather blank at_this intelligence, and_his sister whispered to him, " we'll get off to Mrs St . Leonard's as_soon_as we possibly can . when did you tell the coachman to_come for_us ? "

" at half past ten," was_the brother's reply .

"Oh ! Edward, Edward ! " she exclaimed, " and I dare say he will_not_be punctual . he_may keep us here till eleven ."

"_Courage, mes enfants_," said their mother, "_et parlez plus doucement ."

the girl then ushered them into_the back parlor, saying, " here's the company ."

the room was large and gloomy .achecquered mat covered the floor, and all the furniture was encased in striped calico covers, and_the lamps, mirrors, etc . concealed under green gauze . the front parlor was entirely dark, and in_the back apartment was no other light than a shaded lamp on a large centre table, round which_was assembled a circle of children of all sizes and ages . on abackless, cushionless sofa sat Mrs Watkinson, and a young lady, whom she introduced as her daughter Jane . and Mrs Morland in return presented Edward and Caroline .

" will_you take_the rocking- chair, MA'am ? " inquired Mrs Watkinson .

Mrs Morland declining the offer, the hostess took it herself, and_see- sawed on_it nearly the whole time . it_was a very awkward, high-legged, crouch-backed rocking- chair, and shamefully unprovided with anything in_the form of a footstool .

" my husband is away, at Boston, on business," said Mrs Watkinson ." i_thought at first, MA'am, I should_not_be able to ask_you here this evening, for it_is_not our way to_have company in_his absence; but my daughter Jane over- persuaded me to send for_you ."

" what a pity," thought Caroline .

" you_must take us as_you find us, MA'am," continued Mrs Watkinson ." we use no ceremony with anybody; and_our rule is never to_put ourselves out_of_the way . we_do_not give parties [ looking at_the dresses of_the ladies] . our first duty is to our children, and we_cannot waste our substance on fashion and folly . they'll have cause to thank us for_it when we die ."

something like a sob was heard from_the centre table, at which the children were sitting, and a boy was seen to hold his handkerchief to_his face .

" Joseph, my child," said his mother, " do_not cry . you_have no idea, MA'am, what an extraordinary boy that_is . you_see how the bare mention of_such a thing as our deaths has overcome him ."

there_was another sob behind the handkerchief, and_the Morlands thought it now sounded very_much like a smothered laugh .

" as i_was saying, MA'am," continued Mrs Watkinson, " we never give parties . we leave all sinful things to_the vain and foolish . my daughter Jane has_been telling me, that she heard this_morning of a party that_is going on tonight at_the widow St . Leonard's . it_is only fifteen years since her husband died . he_was carried off with a three days' illness, but two months after they were married . I_have_had a domestic that lived with_them at_the_time, so I_know all about_it . and there she_is now, living in an elegant house, and riding in her carriage, and dressing and dashing, and giving parties, and enjoying life, as she calls it . poor creature, how I pity her ! thank heaven, nobody that I_know goes to her parties . if they_did i_would never wish to_see them again in my house . it_is an encouragement to folly and nonsense-- and folly and nonsense are sinful . do_not you_think so, MA'am ? "

" if carried too far they_may certainly become so," replied Mrs Morland .

" we_have heard," said Edward, " that Mrs St . Leonard, though one_of_the ornaments of_the gay world, has a kind heart, a beneficent spirit and a liberal hand ."

" I_know very little about her," replied Mrs Watkinson, drawing up her head, " and I_have_not the least desire to_know any more . it_is well she has no children; they'd be lost sheep if brought up in her fold . for_my part, MA'am," she continued, turning to Mrs Morland, " I_am quite satisfied with_the quiet joys of a happy home . and no mother has_the least business with any_other pleasures . my innocent babes know nothing about plays, and balls, and parties; and_they never shall . do they look as if_they had_been accustomed to a life of pleasure ? "

they certainly did_not ! for when_the Morlands took a glance at them, they thought they had never seen youthful faces that were less gay, and indeed less prepossessing .

there_was not a good feature or a pleasant expression among them all . Edward Morland recollected his having often read " that childhood is always lovely ." but he_saw that_the juvenile Watkinsons were an exception to_the rule .

" the first duty of a mother is to her children," repeated Mrs Watkinson ." till nine o'clock, my daughter Jane and myself are occupied every evening in hearing the lessons that they_have learned for to- morrow's school . before_that hour we_can receive no visitors, and we never have company to tea, as that_would interfere too_much with_our duties . we had just finished hearing these lessons when_you arrived .Afterwards the children are permitted to indulge themselves in rational play, for I permit no amusement that_is_not also instructive . my children are so_well trained, that even when alone their sports are always serious ."

two of_the boys glanced slyly at each_other, with what Edward Morland comprehended as an expression of pitch- penny and marbles .

" they_are now engaged at their game of astronomy," continued Mrs Watkinson ." they_have also a sort of geography cards, and a set of mathematical cards . it_is ablessed discovery, the invention of_these educationary games; so_that even the play- time of children can_be turned to account . and you_have no idea, MA'am, how they enjoy them ."

just then the boy Joseph rose from_the table, and stalking up_to Mrs Watkinson, said to her, "Mamma, please to whip me ."

at_this unusual request the visitors looked much amazed, and Mrs Watkinson replied to him, " whip you, my best Joseph-- for what cause ? I_have_not seen you_do anything wrong this evening, and you_know my anxiety induces me to watch my children all the time ."

" you_could_not see me," answered Joseph, " for I_have_not done_ anything very wrong . but I_have_had a bad thought, and you_know Mr Ironrule says that a fault imagined is just as wicked as a fault committed ."

" you_see, MA'am, what a good memory he has," said Mrs Watkinson aside to Mrs Morland ." but my best Joseph, you make your mother tremble . what fault have_you imagined ? what_was your bad thought ? "

"Ay," said another boy, " what's your thought like ? "

" my thought," said Joseph, " was ' confound all astronomy, and I could_see the man hanged that made this game .'"

"Oh ! my child," exclaimed the mother, stopping her ears, " I_am indeed shocked . I_am_glad you repented so immediately ."

" yes," returned Joseph, " but I_am afraid my repentance won't last . if I_am not whipped, I_may_have these bad thoughts whenever I play at astronomy, and worse still at_the geography game . whip me, MA, and punish me as I deserve . there's the rattan in_the corner: I'll bring it to_you myself ."

" excellent boy ! " said his mother ." you_know I always pardon my children when_they are so candid as_to confess their faults ."

" so you_do," said Joseph, " but awhipping will cure me better ."

" I_cannot resolve to punish so conscientious a child," said Mrs Watkinson .

" shall I take_the trouble off your hands ? " inquired Edward, losing all patience in_his disgust at_the sanctimonious hypocrisy of_this young Blifil ." it_is such a rarity for a boy to request awhipping, that so remarkable a desire ought by all means to_be gratified ."

Joseph turned round and made a face at him .

" give_me the rattan," said Edward, half laughing, and offering to_take it out of_his hand ."I'll use it to your full satisfaction ."

the boy thought it most prudent to stride off and return to_the table, and ensconce himself among his brothers and sisters; some of whom were staring with stupid surprise; others were whispering and giggling in_the hope of seeing Joseph get a real flogging .

Mrs Watkinson having bestowed a bitter look on Edward, hastened to_turn the attention of_his mother to something else ." Mrs Morland," said she, " allow me to introduce you to my youngest hope ." she pointed to a sleepy boy about five years old, who with head thrown back and mouth wide open, was slumbering in_his chair .

Mrs Watkinson's children were of_that uncomfortable species who never go to bed; at_least never without all manner of resistance . all her boasted authority was inadequate to compel them; they never would confess themselves sleepy; always wanted to " sit up," and there_was a nightly scene of scolding, coaxing, threatening and manoeuvring to_get them off .

"I declare," said Mrs Watkinson, " dear Benny is almost asleep . shake him up, Christopher . i_want him to_speak a speech . his school- mistress takes great pains in teaching her little pupils to_speak, and stands up herself and shows them how ."

the child having been shaken up hard ( two_or_three others helping Christopher), rubbed his eyes and began to whine . his mother went to him, took him on her lap, hushed him up, and began to coax him . this done, she stood him on_his feet before Mrs Morland, and desired him to_speak a speech for_the company . the child put his thumb into his mouth, and remained silent .

" MA," said Jane Watkinson, " you had better tell him what speech to_speak ."

" speak Cato or Plato," said his mother ." which do_you call it ? come now, Benny-- how does it begin ? ' you_are quite right and reasonable, Plato .' that's it ."

" speak Lucius," said his sister Jane ." come now, Benny-- say ' your thoughts are turned on peace .'"

the little boy looked very_much as if_they were not_, and as_if meditating an outbreak .

" no, no ! " exclaimed Christopher, " let him say hamlet . come now, Benny--' to_be or not to_be .'"

" it ain't to_be at all," cried Benny, " and I won't speak the least bit of it for any of you .I hate that speech ! "

" only see his obstinacy," said the solemn Joseph ." and_is he to_be given up_to ? "

" speak anything, Benny," said Mrs Watkinson, " anything so that_it_is only a speech ."

all the Watkinson voices now began to clamor violently at_the obstinate child--" speak a speech ! speak a speech ! speak a speech ! " but they had no more effect than_the reiterated exhortations with_which nurses confuse the poor heads of babies, when_they require them to " shake a day- day-- shake a day- day ! "

Mrs Morland now interfered, and begged that_the sleepy little boy might_be excused; on_which he screamed out that " he wasn't sleepy at all, and would_not go to bed ever ."

"I never knew any of_my children behave so before," said Mrs Watkinson ." they_are always models of obedience, MA'am .a look is sufficient for_them . and I_must say that they_have in every way profited by_the education we_are giving them . it_is_not our way, MA'am, to waste our money in parties and fooleries, and fine furniture and fine clothes, and rich food, and all such abominations . our first duty is to our children, and to_make them learn everything that_is taught in_the schools . if_they go wrong, it_will_not_be for want of education .Hester, my dear, come and talk to miss Morland in French ."

Hester ( unlike her little brother that_would not speak a speech) stepped boldly forward, and addressed Caroline Morland with: "_Parlez-vous Francais, mademoiselle ? comment se va madame votre mere ? Aimez-vous la musique ? Aimez-vous la danse ? Bon jour--bon soir--bon repos .Comprenez-vous ? "

to_this tirade, uttered with great volubility, miss Morland made no other reply than, "_Oui--je comprens ."

" very_well, Hester-- very_well indeed," said Mrs Watkinson ." you_see, MA'am," turning to Mrs Morland, " how very fluent she_is in French; and she has only been learning eleven quarters ."

after considerable whispering between Jane and her mother, the former withdrew, and sent in by_the Irish girl a waiter with a basket of soda biscuit, a pitcher of water, and some glasses .Mrs Watkinson invited her guests to consider themselves at home and help themselves freely, saying: " we never let cakes, sweetmeats, confectionery, or any such things enter the house, as they_would_be very unwholesome for_the children, and it would_be sinful to_put temptation in

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