By the Waters of Paradise by F. Marion Crawford
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eyes full upon me with an air of inquiry . she evidently did_not recall my face, if she had ever seen me .

" really-- I_cannot remember," she observed, in a low and musical voice ." when ? "

" in_the first place, you came down from Berlin by_the express ten days_ago . i_was going the other way, and_our carriages stopped opposite each_other . I_saw you at_the window ."

" yes-- we came that way, but I_do_not remember--" she hesitated .

" secondly," I continued, " i_was sitting alone in my garden last summer-- near the end of July-- do_you remember ? you_must_have wandered in there through_the park; you came up_to_the house and looked at me--"

" was_that you ? " she asked, in evident surprise . then she broke into a laugh ." i_told everybody I had seen a ghost; there had never been any Cairngorms in_the place since_the memory of man . we left the next_day, and never heard that you had come there; indeed, I_did_not know the castle belonged to_you ."

" where were you staying ? " I asked .

" where ? why, with my aunt, where I always stay . she_is your neighbor, since it_is you ."

"I-- beg your pardon-- but then-- is your aunt lady Bluebell ? I_did_not quite catch--"

"Don't be afraid . she_is amazingly deaf . yes . she is_the relict of_my beloved uncle, the sixteenth or seventeenth baron Bluebell--I forget exactly how_many_of_them there_have been . and I-- do_you_know who I_am ? " she laughed, well knowing that I_did_not .

" no," I answered frankly ." I_have_not the least idea .I asked to_be introduced because I recognized you . perhaps-- perhaps you_are a miss Bluebell ? "

"Considering that you_are a neighbor, i_will tell you who I_am," she answered ." no; I_am of_the tribe of Bluebells, but my name is Lammas, and I_have_been given to understand that i_was christened Margaret . being a floral family, they call me daisy .a dreadful American man once told me that my aunt was aBluebell and_that i_was aHarebell-- with two l's and an e-- because my hair is so thick .I warn you, so_that you_may avoid making such a bad pun ."

" do I look like a man who makes puns ? " I asked, being very conscious of_my melancholy face and sad looks .

miss Lammas eyed me critically .

" no; you_have a mournful temperament . i_think I_can trust you," she answered ." do_you_think you_could communicate to my aunt the fact that you_are aCairngorm and a neighbor ? I_am_sure she_would like to_know ."

I leaned toward the old lady, inflating my lungs for a yell . but miss Lammas stopped me .

" that_is_not of_the slightest use," she remarked ." you_can write it on a bit of paper . she_is utterly deaf ."

" I_have a pencil," I answered; " but I_have no paper . would my cuff do, do_you_think ? "

"Oh, yes ! " replied miss Lammas, with alacrity; " men often do_that ."

i_wrote on my cuff: " miss Lammas wishes me to explain that I_am your neighbor, Cairngorm ." then I held out my arm before_the old lady's nose . she seemed perfectly accustomed to_the proceeding, put up her glasses, read the words, smiled, nodded, and addressed me in_the unearthly voice peculiar to people who hear nothing .

" I_knew your grandfather very_well," she said . then she smiled and nodded to_me again, and to her niece, and relapsed into silence .

" it_is all right," remarked miss Lammas ." aunt Bluebell knows she_is deaf, and does_not say much, like the parrot . you_see, she knew your grandfather . how odd that we_should_be neighbors ! why have we never met before ? "

" if_you had told me you_knew my grandfather when_you appeared in_the garden, I should_not have_been in_the least surprised," I answered rather irrelevantly ."I really thought you were the ghost of_the old fountain . how in_the_world did you come there at_that hour ? "

" we were a large party and we went out for a walk . then we thought we_should like to_see what your park was like in_the moonlight, and so we trespassed .I got separated from_the rest, and came upon you by accident, just as i_was admiring the extremely ghostly look of your house, and wondering whether anybody would ever come and live there again . it looks like the castle of Macbeth, or ascene from_the opera . do_you_know anybody here ? "

" hardly a soul ! do_you ? "

" no . aunt Bluebell said it_was our duty to_come . it_is easy for her to_go out; she does_not bear the burden of_the conversation ."

" I_am sorry you find it a burden," said I ." shall I go away ? "

miss Lammas looked at me with a sudden gravity in her beautiful eyes, and there_was a sort of hesitation about_the lines of her full, soft mouth .

" no," she said at last, quite simply, "don't go away . we_may like each_other, if_you stay a little longer-- and we ought to, because we_are neighbors in_the country ."

I suppose I ought_to_have thought miss Lammas a very odd girl . there_is, indeed, a sort of freemasonry between people who discover that_they live near each_other and that_they ought_to_have known each_other before . but there_was a sort of unexpected frankness and simplicity in_the girl's amusing manner which would_have struck anyone else as being singular, to_say the least of it . to_me, however, it all seemed natural enough .I had dreamed of her face too long not to_be utterly happy when I met her at last and could talk to her as_much as I pleased . to_me, the man of ill luck in everything, the whole meeting seemed too good to_be true . I_felt again that strange sensation of lightness which I had experienced after I had seen her face in_the garden . the great rooms seemed brighter, life seemed worth living; my sluggish, melancholy blood ran faster, and filled me with a new sense of strength . I_said to myself that without this woman i_was but an imperfect being, but that with her I_could accomplish everything to_which i_should set my hand . like the great doctor, when he thought he had cheated Mephistopheles at last, I_could_have cried aloud to_the fleeting moment, Verweile doch, du bist so schon !

" are_you always gay ? " I asked, suddenly ." how happy you_must_be ! "

" the days would sometimes seem very long if I were gloomy," she answered, thoughtfully ." yes, i_think I_find life very pleasant, and I tell it so ."

" how can_you ' tell life' anything ? " I inquired ." if I_could catch my life and talk to_it, i_would abuse it prodigiously, I assure you ."

"I dare say . you_have a melancholy temper . you ought to live out- of-doors, dig potatoes, make hay, shoot, hunt, tumble into ditches, and come home muddy and hungry for dinner . it would_be much better for_you than moping in your rook tower and hating everything ."

" it_is rather lonely down there," I murmured, apologetically, feeling that miss Lammas was quite right .

" then marry, and quarrel with your wife," she laughed ." anything is better than being alone ."

" I_am a very peaceable person .I never quarrel with anybody . you_can try it . you_will_find it quite impossible ."

" will_you let me try ? " she asked, still smiling .

" by all means-- especially if_it is_to_be only a preliminary canter," I answered, rashly .

" what do_you_mean ? " she inquired, turning quickly upon me .

"Oh-- nothing . you_might try my paces with a view to quarreling in_the_future . I_cannot imagine how you_are going to_do_it . you_will_have to resort to immediate and direct abuse ."

" no . i_will only say that if_you_do_not like your life, it_is your own fault . how can a man of your age talk of being melancholy, or of_the hollowness of existence ? are_you consumptive ? are_you subject to hereditary insanity ? are_you deaf, like aunt Bluebell ? are_you poor, like--lots of people ? have_you been crossed in love ? have_you lost the world for a woman, or any particular woman for_the sake of_the world ? are_you feeble- minded, a cripple, an outcast ? are_you--repulsively ugly ? " she laughed again ." is_there any reason in_the_world why you_should_not enjoy all you_have got in life ? "

" no . there_is no reason whatever, except that I_am dreadfully unlucky, especially in small things ."

" then try big things, just for a change," suggested miss Lammas ." try and get married, for instance, and_see how it turns out ."

" if_it turned out badly it would_be rather serious ."

" not half so serious as_it_is to abuse everything unreasonably . if abuse is your particular talent, abuse something that ought_to_be abused . abuse the Conservatives-- or the Liberals-- it does_not matter which, since they_are always abusing each_other . make yourself felt by other people . you_will like it, if_they don't . it_will make a man of you . fill your mouth with pebbles, and howl at_the sea, if_you_cannot do anything else . it did Demosthenes no end of good, you_know . you_will_have the satisfaction of imitating a great man ."

" really, miss Lammas, i_think the list of innocent exercises you propose--"

" very_well-- if_you don't care for_that sort of thing, care for some other sort of thing . care for something, or hate something .Don't be idle . life is short, and though art may_be long, plenty of noise answers nearly as_well ."

" I_do care for something--I mean, somebody," I_said .

"A woman ? then marry her .Don't hesitate ."

" I_do_not know whether she_would marry me," I replied ." I_have never asked her ."

" then ask her at once," answered miss Lammas ." I_shall die happy if I_feel I_have persuaded a melancholy fellow creature to rouse himself to action . ask her, by all means, and_see what she says . if she does_not accept you at once, she may take you the next_time . meanwhile, you_will_have entered for_the race . if_you lose, there_are the ' all- aged trial Stakes,' and_the ' consolation race .'"

" and plenty of selling races into_the bargain . shall I take you at your word, miss Lammas ? "

" I_hope_you_will," she answered .

" since you yourself advise me, i_will . miss Lammas, will_you do me the honor to marry me ? "

for_the first time in my life the blood rushed to my head and my sight swam . I_cannot tell why I_said it . it would_be useless to_try to explain the extraordinary fascination the girl exercised over me, or the still more extraordinary feeling of intimacy with her which had grown in me during that half hour . lonely, sad, unlucky as I had_been all my life, i_was certainly not timid, nor even shy . but to propose to marry a woman after half an hour's acquaintance was a piece of madness of_which I never believed myself capable, and of_which i_should never be capable again, could I be placed in_the same situation . it_was as_though my whole being had_been changed in a moment by magic-- by_the white magic of her nature brought into contact with mine . the blood sank back to my heart, and a moment later I_found myself staring at her with anxious eyes . to my amazement she was as calm as ever, but her beautiful mouth smiled, and there_was a mischievous light in her dark- brown eyes .

" fairly caught," she answered ." for an individual who pretends to_be listless and sad you_are_not lacking in humor .I had really not the least idea what you were going to_say .Wouldn't it be singularly awkward for_you if I had said ' yes' ? I never saw anybody begin to practice so sharply what_was preached to him-- with so very little loss of_time ! "

" you probably never met a man who had dreamed of you for seven months before being introduced ."

" no, I never did," she answered gayly ." it smacks of_the romantic . perhaps you_are a romantic character, after all . i_should think you were if I believed you . very_well; you_have taken my advice, entered for a stranger's race and lost it . try the all- aged trial Stakes . you_have another cuff, and a pencil . propose to aunt Bluebell; she_would dance with astonishment, and she might recover her hearing ."

III

that was how I first asked Margaret Lammas to_be my wife, and_I_will agree with anyone who says I behaved very foolishly . but I_have_not repented of it, and I never shall . I_have long_ago understood that i_was out of_my mind that evening, but i_think my temporary insanity on_that occasion has had the effect of making me a saner man ever_since . her manner turned my head, for it_was so different from what I had expected . to hear this lovely creature, who, in my imagination, was a heroine of romance, if_not of tragedy, talking familiarly and laughing readily was more than my equanimity could bear, and I lost my head as_well as my heart . but when I went back to England in_the spring, I went to_make certain arrangements at_the castle-- certain changes and improvements which would_be absolutely necessary .I had won the race for_which I had entered myself so rashly, and we were to_be married in June .

whether the change was due to_the orders I had left with_the gardener and_the rest of_the servants, or to my own state of mind, I_cannot tell . at all events, the old place did_not look the same to_me when I opened my window on_the morning after my arrival . there

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