Bargain Day at Tutt House by George Randolph Chester
Section [1 | 2 | 3]
do_you ? most excellent people ."

"I'm quite sorry that I_do_not," she replied ." but you_will_have to excuse me . we_shall_be kept very busy with arranging our apartments ."

Ralph sprang to_his feet with a ludicrous expression .

" not the second floor front suite ! " he exclaimed .

"Oh, no ! not at all," she reassured him .

he laughed lightly .

"Honors are about even in_that game," he_said .

"Evelyn," called her mother from_the hall ." please come and take those front suite curtains down to_the barn ."

" pardon me while we take_the next trick," remarked Evelyn with a laugh quite as light and gleeful as his own, and disappeared into_the hall .

he followed her slowly, and was met at_the door by her father .

" you_are the younger Mr Ellsworth, I believe," politely said Mr Van Kamp .

"Ralph Ellsworth . yes, sir ."

" here_is a note for your father . it_is unsealed . you_are quite at liberty to read it ."

Mr Van Kamp bowed himself away, and Ralph opened the note, which read:

Edward Eastman Ellsworth, ESQ .,

dear_Sir: this_is to notify you that I_have rented the entire furniture of_the Tutt house for_the ensuing week, and am compelled to assume possession of_that in_the three second floor front rooms, as_well as all the balance not in actual use by_Mr and Mrs Tutt and_the driver of_the stage . you_are quite welcome, however, to_make use of_the furnishings in_the small room over the kitchen . your luggage you_will_find undisturbed .Regretting any inconvenience that_this transaction may cause you, I remain,

yours respectfully,

J . Belmont VAN KAMP .

Ralph scratched his head in amused perplexity . it devolved upon him to even up the affair a little before his mother came back . he_must support the family reputation for resourcefulness, but it took quite a bit of scalp irritation before he aggravated the right idea into being . as_soon_as_the idea came, he went in and made a hide- bound bargain with uncle Billy, then he went out into_the hall and waited until Evelyn came down with a huge armload of window curtains .

"Honors are still even," he remarked ." I_have just bought all the edibles about_the place, whether in_the cellar, the house or any of_the surrounding structures, in_the ground, above the ground, dead or alive, and a bargain's a bargain as between man and man ."

" clever of you, I'm sure," commented miss Van Kamp, reflectively . suddenly her lips parted with a smile that revealed a double row of most beautiful teeth . he meditatively watched the curve of her lips .

"Isn't that rather a heavy load ? " he suggested ."I'd be delighted to help_you move the things, don't you_know ."

" it_is quite kind of you, and what the men would call ' game,' I believe, under the circumstances," she answered, " but really it_will_not_be necessary . we_have hired Mr Tutt and_the driver to_do_the heavier part of_the work, and_the rest of it_will_be really a pleasant diversion ."

" no_doubt," agreed Ralph, with an appreciative grin ." by_the_way, you don't happen to_know Maud and Dorothy partridge, of Baltimore, do_you ? Stunning pretty girls, both of_them, and no end of swells ."

" I_know so very few people in Baltimore," she murmured, and tripped on down to_the barn .

Ralph went out on_the porch and smoked . there_was nothing else that he_could do .

VIII

it_was growing dusk when_the elder Ellsworths returned, almost hidden by great masses of autumn boughs .

" you should_have_been with_us, Ralph," enthusiastically said his mother ."I never saw such gorgeous tints in all my life . we_have brought nearly the entire woods with_us ."

" it_was a good idea," said Ralph ."A stunning good idea . they_may come in handy to sleep on ."

Mrs Ellsworth turned cold .

" what do_you_mean ? " she gasped .

"Ralph," sternly demanded his father, " you don't mean to_tell us that you let the Van Kamps jockey us out of_those rooms after all ? "

" indeed, no," he airily responded ." just come right on up and_see ."

he led the way into_the suite and struck a match . one solitary candle had_been left upon_the mantel shelf .Ralph thought that_this had_been overlooked, but his mother afterwards set him right about_that .Mrs Van Kamp had cleverly left it so that_the Ellsworths could_see how dreadfully bare the place was . one candle in three rooms is drearier than darkness anyhow .

Mrs Ellsworth took in all the desolation, the dismal expanse of_the now enormous apartments, the shabby walls, the hideous bright spots where pictures had hung, the splintered flooring, the great, gaunt windows-- and she gave in . she had met with snub after snub, and cut after cut, in her social climb, she had had the cook quit in_the middle of an important dinner, she had had every disconcerting thing possible happen to her, but this-- this_was the last bale of straw . she sat down on a suitcase, in_the middle of_the biggest room, and cried !

Ralph, having waited for_this, now told about_the food transaction, and she hastily pushed the last-coming tear back into her eye .

" good ! " she cried ." they_will_be up here soon . they_will_be compelled to compromise, and they_must not find me with red eyes ."

she cast a hasty glance around the room, then, in a sudden panic, seized the candle and explored the other two . she went wildly out into_the hall, back into_the little room over the kitchen, downstairs, everywhere, and returned in consternation .

" there's not a single mirror left in_the house ! " she moaned .

Ralph heartlessly grinned . he_could appreciate that_this was a characteristic woman trick, and wondered admiringly whether Evelyn or her mother had thought of it . however, this_was a time for action .

"I'll get you some water to bathe your eyes," he offered, and ran into_the little room over the kitchen to_get a pitcher .a cracked shaving- mug was_the only vessel that had_been left, but he hurried down into_the yard with it . this_was no time for fastidiousness .

he had barely creaked the pump handle when Mr Van Kamp hurried up from_the barn .

"I beg your pardon, sir," said Mr Van Kamp, " but this water belongs to_us . my daughter bought it, all that_is in_the ground, above the ground, or that_may fall from_the sky upon these premises ."

IX

the mutual siege lasted until after seven o'clock, but it_was rather one- sided . the Van Kamps could drink all the water they liked, it made them no hungrier . if_the Ellsworths ate anything, however, they grew thirstier, and, moreover, water was necessary if anything worth while was to_be cooked . they knew all this, and resisted until Mrs Ellsworth was tempted and fell . she ate a sandwich and choked . it_was heartbreaking, but Ralph had to_be sent down with a plate of sandwiches and an offer to trade them for water .

halfway between_the pump and_the house he met Evelyn coming with a small pail of_the precious fluid . they both stopped stock still; then, seeing that_it_was too late to retreat, both laughed and advanced .

" who wins now ? " bantered Ralph as_they made the exchange .

" it looks to_me like a misdeal," she gaily replied, and was moving away when he_called her back .

" you don't happen to_know the Gately's, of New_York, do_you ? " he_was quite anxious to_know .

" I_am truly sorry, but I_am acquainted with so few people in New_York . we_are from Chicago, you_know ."

"Oh," said he blankly, and took the water up_to_the Ellsworth suite .

Mrs Ellsworth cheered up considerably when she heard that Ralph had_been met halfway, but her eyes snapped when he confessed that_it_was miss Van Kamp who had met him .

" I_hope you_are_not going to carry on a flirtation with_that overdressed creature," she blazed .

" why mother," exclaimed Ralph, shocked beyond measure ." what right have_you to accuse either this young lady or myself of flirting ? Flirting ! "

Mrs Ellsworth suddenly attacked the fire with quite unnecessary energy .

X

down at_the barn, the wide threshing floor had_been covered with gay rag-rugs, and strewn with tables, couches, and chairs in picturesque profusion . roomy box-stalls had_been carpeted deep with clean straw, curtained off with gaudy bed-quilts, and converted into cozy sleeping apartments . the mow and_the stalls had_been screened off with lace curtains and blazing counterpanes, and_the whole effect was one of oriental luxury and splendor . alas, it_was only an " effect" ! the red- hot parlor stove smoked abominably, the pipe carried other smoke out through_the hawmow window, only to let it blow back again . chill cross-draughts whistled in from cracks too numerous to_be stopped up, and_the miserable Van Kamps could only cough and shiver, and envy the Tutts and_the driver, non-combatants who had_been fed two hours before .

up in_the second floor suite there_was aroaring fire in_the big fireplace, but there_was a chill in_the room that no mere fire could drive away-- the chill of absolute emptiness .

a man can outlive hardships that_would kill a woman, but a woman can endure discomforts that_would drive a man crazy .

Mr Ellsworth went out to hunt up uncle Billy, with an especial solace in mind . the landlord was not in_the house, but the yellow gleam of a lantern revealed his presence in_the woodshed, and Mr Ellsworth stepped in upon him just as he_was pouring something yellow and clear into a tumbler from a big jug that he had just taken from under the flooring .

" how_much do_you_want for_that jug and its contents ? " he asked, with a sigh of gratitude that_this supply had_been overlooked .

before Mr Tutt could answer, Mr Van Kamp hurried in at_the door .

" wait a moment ! " he cried ." i_want to bid on_that ! "

" this here jug hain't fer sale at no price," uncle Billy emphatically announced, nipping all negotiations right in_the bud ." it's too pesky hard to sneak this here licker in past Marge't, but I reckon it's my treat, gents . ye kin have all ye want ."

one minute later Mr Van Kamp and Mr Ellsworth were seated, one on asawbuck and_the other on a nail- keg, comfortably eyeing each_other across the work bench, and each was holding up a tumbler one- third filled with_the golden yellow liquid .

" your health, sir," courteously proposed Mr Ellsworth .

" and to_you, sir," gravely replied Mr Van Kamp .

XI

Ralph and Evelyn happened to meet at_the pump, quite accidentally, after_the former had made half a dozen five- minute- apart trips for a drink . it_was miss Van Kamp, this_time, who had_been studying on_the mutual acquaintance problem .

" you don't happen to_know the Tylers, of Parkersburg, do_you ? " she asked .

" the Tylers ! i_should say I_do ! " was_the unexpected and enthusiastic reply ." why, we_are on_our way now to miss Georgiana Tyler's wedding to my friend Jimmy Carston .I'm to_be best man ."

" how delightful ! " she exclaimed ." we_are on_the way there, too .Georgiana was my dearest chum at school, and I_am to_be her ' best girl .'"

" let's go around on_the porch and sit down," said Ralph .

XII

Mr Van Kamp, back in_the woodshed, looked about him with an eye of content .

" rather cozy for awoodshed," he observed ."I wonder if_we couldn't scare up a little session of dollar limit ? "

both uncle Billy and Mr Ellsworth were willing . death and poker level all Americans .a fourth hand was needed, however . the stage driver was in bed and asleep, and Mr Ellsworth volunteered to_find the extra player .

"I'll get Ralph," he_said ." he plays a fairly stiff game ." he finally found his son on_the porch, apparently alone, and stated his errand .

" thank_you, but I don't believe I care to play this evening," was_the astounding reply, and Mr Ellsworth looked closer . he_made out, then, a dim figure on_the other side of Ralph .

"Oh ! of_course not ! " he blundered, and went back to_the woodshed .

three- handed poker is a miserable game, and it seldom lasts long . it did_not in this_case . after uncle Billy had won the only jack- pot deserving of_the name, he_was allowed to_go blissfully to sleep with_his hand on_the handle of_the big jug .

after poker there_is only_one other always available amusement for men, and_that is business . the two travelers were quite well acquainted when Ralph put his head in at_the door .

" thought I'd find you here," he explained ." it just occurred to_me to wonder whether you gentlemen had discovered, as_yet, that we_are all to_be house guests at_the Carston-Tyler wedding ."

" why, no ! " exclaimed his father in pleased surprise ." it_is a most agreeable coincidence .Mr Van Kamp, allow me to introduce my son, Ralph .Mr Van Kamp and myself, Ralph, have found out that we_shall_be considerably thrown together in a business way from now on . he has just purchased control of_the metropolitan and western string of interurbans ."

" delighted, I'm sure," murmured Ralph, shaking hands, and then he slipped out as quickly as possible . some one seemed to_be waiting for him .

perhaps another twenty minutes had passed, when one_of_the men had an illuminating idea that resulted, later on, in pleasant relations for all of_them . it_was about time, for_Mrs Ellsworth, up in_the bare suite, and Mrs Van Kamp, down in_the draughty barn, both wrapped up_to_the chin and both still chilly, had about reached the limit of patience and endurance .

" why can't we_make things a little more comfortable for all concerned ? " suggested Mr Van Kamp ." suppose, as a starter, that we_have Mrs Van Kamp give a shiver party down in_the barn ? "

" good idea," agreed Mr Ellsworth ."A little diplomacy will do_it . each_one of us will_have to_tell his wife that_the other fellow made the first abject overtures ."

Mr Van Kamp grinned understandingly, and agreed to_the infamous ruse .

" by_the_way," continued Mr Ellsworth, with a still happier thought, " you_must allow Mrs Ellsworth to_furnish the dinner for_Mrs Van Kamp's shiver party ."

" dinner ! " gasped Mr Van Kamp ." by all means ! "

both men felt an anxious yawning in_the region of_the appetite, and ayearning moisture wetted their tongues . they looked at_the slumbering uncle Billy and decided to_see Mrs Tutt themselves about a good, hot dinner for six .

" law me ! " exclaimed aunt Margaret when_they appeared at_the kitchen door ."I swan i_thought you folks 'u'd never come to yore senses . here I've had a big pot o' stewed chicken ready on_the stove fer two mortal hours .I kin give ye that, an' smashed taters an' chicken gravy, an' dried corn, an' hot corn-pone, an' currant jell, an' strawberry preserves, an' my own cannin' o' peaches, an' pumpkin- pie an' coffee . will that_do ye ? " would it do ! would it do ! !

as aunt Margaret talked, the kitchen door swung wide, and_the two men were stricken speechless with astonishment . there, across from each_other at_the kitchen table, sat the utterly selfish and traitorous younger members of_the rival houses of Ellsworth and Van Kamp, deep in_the joys of chicken, and mashed potatoes, and gravy, and hot corn-pone, and all the other " fixings," laughing and chatting gaily like chums of years' standing . they had seemingly just come to an agreement about something or other, for Evelyn, waving the shorter end of a broken wishbone, was vivaciously saying to Ralph:

"A bargain's a bargain, and I always stick to one I make ."

Section [1 | 2 | 3]