A True Tale by Anonymous
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true tale

by anonymous

i_was but nineteen years_of_age when_the incident occurred which_has thrown a shadow over my life; and, ah me ! how_many and many a weary year has dragged by since then ! young, happy, and beloved i_was in those long- departed days . they said that i_was beautiful . the mirror now reflects a haggard old woman, with ashen lips and face of deadly pallor . but do_not fancy that you_are listening to amere puling lament . it_is_not the flight of years that has brought me to_be this wreck of_my former self: had it been so I_could_have borne the loss cheerfully, patiently, as_the common lot of all; but it_was no natural progress of decay which_has robbed me of bloom, of youth, of_the hopes and joys that belong to youth, snapped the link that bound my heart to another's, and doomed me to a lone old age .I try to_be patient, but my cross has_been heavy, and my heart is empty and weary, and I long for_the death that comes so slowly to_those who pray to die .

i_will try and relate, exactly as it happened, the event which blighted my life . though it occurred many years_ago, there_is no fear that i_should_have forgotten any of_the minutest circumstances: they were stamped on my brain too clearly and burningly, like the brand of a red- hot iron . I_see them written in_the wrinkles of_my brow, in_the dead whiteness of_my hair, which_was a glossy brown once, and has known no gradual change from dark to gray, from gray to white, as with those happy ones who were the companions of_my girlhood, and whose honored age is soothed by_the love of children and grandchildren . but I_must not envy them .I only meant to_say that_the difficulty of_my task has no connection with want of memory--I remember but too well . but as I take my pen my hand trembles, my head swims, the old rushing faintness and horror comes over me again, and_the well- remembered fear is upon me . yet i_will go on .

this, briefly, is my story: i_was a great heiress, I believe, though I cared little for_the fact; but so it_was . my father had great possessions, and no son to inherit after him . his three daughters, of whom I was_the youngest, were to share the broad acres among them . I_have said, and truly, that I cared little for_the circumstance; and, indeed, i_was so rich then in health and youth and love that I_felt myself quite indifferent to all else . the possession of all the treasures of earth could never have_made up for what I then had-- and lost, as I_am about to relate . of_course, we girls knew that we were heiresses, but I_do_not_think Lucy and Minnie were any the prouder or the happier on_that account . I_know i_was not . Reginald did_not court me for_my money . of_that I_felt assured . he proved it, heaven be praised ! when he shrank from my side after_the change . yes, in all my lonely age, I_can still be thankful that he_did_not keep his word, as some would_have done-- did_not clasp at_the altar a hand he had learned to loathe and shudder at, because it_was full of gold-- much gold ! at_least he spared me that . and I_know that i_was loved, and_the knowledge has kept me from going mad through many a weary day and restless night, when my hot eyeballs had_not a tear to shed, and even to weep was a luxury denied me .

our house was an old Tudor mansion . my father was very particular in keeping the smallest peculiarities of_his home unaltered . thus the many peaks and gables, the numerous turrets, and_the mullioned windows with their quaint lozenge panes set in lead, remained very nearly as_they had_been three centuries back . over and above the quaint melancholy of_our dwelling, with_the deep woods of_its park and_the sullen waters of_the mere, our neighborhood was thinly peopled and primitive, and_the people round us were ignorant, and tenacious of ancient ideas and traditions . thus it_was a superstitious atmosphere that we children were reared in, and we heard, from_our infancy, countless tales of horror, some mere fables doubtless, others legends of dark deeds of_the olden time, exaggerated by credulity and_the love of_the marvelous . our mother had died when we were young, and_our other parent being, though a kind father, much absorbed in affairs of various kinds, as an active magistrate and landlord, there_was no one to_check the unwholesome stream of tradition with_which our plastic minds were inundated in_the company of nurses and servants . as years went on, however, the old ghostly tales partially lost their effects, and_our undisciplined minds were turned more towards balls, dress, and partners, and other matters airy and trivial, more welcome to our riper age . it_was at a county assembly that Reginald and I first met--met and loved . yes, I_am_sure that he loved me with all his heart . it_was not as deep a heart as some, I_have thought in my grief and anger; but I never doubted its truth and honesty . Reginald's father and mine approved of_our growing attachment; and as for_myself, I_know i_was so happy then, that I look back upon those fleeting moments as on some delicious dream .I now come to_the change . I_have lingered on my childish reminiscences, my bright and happy youth, and now I_must tell the rest-- the blight and_the sorrow .

it_was Christmas, always a joyful and a hospitable time in_the country, especially in_such an old hall as our home, where quaint customs and frolics were much clung to, as part and parcel of_the very dwelling itself . the hall was full of guests-- so full, indeed, that there_was great difficulty in providing sleeping accommodation for all . several narrow and dark chambers in_the turrets--mere pigeon-holes, as_we irreverently called what had_been thought good enough for_the stately gentlemen of Elizabeth's reign-- were now allotted to bachelor visitors, after having been empty for a century . all the spare rooms in_the body and wings of_the hall were occupied, of_course; and_the servants who had_been brought down were lodged at_the farm and at_the keeper's, so great was_the demand for space . at last the unexpected arrival of an elderly relative, who had_been asked months before, but scarcely expected, caused great commotion . my aunts went about wringing their hands distractedly . lady Speldhurst was a personage of some consequence; she was a distant cousin, and had_been for years on cool terms with_us all, on account of some fancied affront or slight when she had paid her last visit, about_the_time of_my christening . she was seventy years old; she was infirm, rich, and testy; moreover, she was my godmother, though I had forgotten the fact; but it seems that though I had formed no expectations of a legacy in my favor, my aunts had done so for_me . aunt Margaret was especially eloquent on_the_subject ." there isn't a room left," she said; " was ever anything so unfortunate ! we_cannot put lady Speldhurst into_the turrets, and yet where is she to sleep ? and Rosa's godmother, too ! poor, dear child, how dreadful ! after all these years of estrangement, and with a hundred thousand in_the funds, and no comfortable, warm room at her own unlimited disposal-- and Christmas, of all times in_the year ! " what_was to_be_done ? my aunts could_not resign their own chambers to lady Speldhurst, because they had already given them up_to some_of_the married guests . my father was_the most hospitable of men, but he_was rheumatic, gouty, and methodical . his sisters- in- law dared not propose to shift his quarters; and, indeed, he_would_have far sooner dined on prison fare than have_been translated to a strange bed . the matter ended in my giving up my room .I had a strange reluctance to making the offer, which surprised myself . was_it aboding of evil to_come ? I cannot_say . we_are strangely and wonderfully made . it may have_been . at any rate, I_do_not_think it_was any selfish unwillingness to_make an old and infirm lady comfortable by atrifling sacrifice . i_was perfectly healthy and strong . the weather was not cold for_the_time of_the year . it_was a dark, moist yule-- not a snowy one, though snow brooded overhead in_the darkling clouds . I_did make_the offer, which became me, I_said with a laugh, as_the youngest . my sisters laughed too, and made a jest of_my evident wish to propitiate my godmother ." she_is a fairy godmother, Rosa," said Minnie; " and you_know she was affronted at your christening, and went away muttering vengeance . here she_is coming back to_see you; I_hope she brings golden gifts with her ."

i_thought little of lady Speldhurst and her possible golden gifts .I cared nothing for_the wonderful fortune in_the funds that my aunts whispered and nodded about so mysteriously . but since then I_have wondered whether, had I then showed myself peevish or obstinate-- had I refused to_give up my room for_the expected kinswoman-- it would_not have altered the whole of_my life ? but then Lucy or Minnie would_have offered in my stead, and been sacrificed-- what do I_say ? -- better that_the blow should_have fallen as it did than on those dear ones .

the chamber to_which I removed was a dim little triangular room in_the western wing, and was only to_be reached by traversing the picture- gallery, or by mounting a little flight of stone stairs which led directly upward from_the low-browed arch of a door that opened into_the garden . there_was one more room on_the same landing- place, and this_was amere receptacle for broken furniture, shattered toys, and all the lumber that_will accumulate in a country- house . the room i_was to inhabit for a few nights was a tapestry-hung apartment, with faded green curtains of some costly stuff, contrasting oddly with a new carpet and_the bright, fresh hangings of_the bed, which had_been hurriedly erected . the furniture was half old, half new; and on_the dressing- table stood a very quaint oval mirror, in a frame of black wood-- unpolished ebony, i_think . I_can remember the very pattern of_the carpet, the number of chairs, the situation of_the bed, the figures on_the tapestry .Nay, I_can recollect not_only the color of_the dress I wore on_that fated evening, but the arrangement of every scrap of lace and ribbon, of every flower, every jewel, with a memory but too perfect .

scarcely had my maid finished spreading out my various articles of attire for_the evening ( when there_was to_be a great dinner- party) when_the rumble of a carriage announced that lady Speldhurst had arrived . the short winter's day drew to a close, and a large number of guests were gathered together in_the ample drawing- room, around the blaze of_the wood- fire, after dinner . my father, I recollect, was not with_us at first . there were some squires of_the old, hard-riding, hard-drinking stamp still lingering over their port in_the dining- room, and_the host, of_course, could_not leave them . but the ladies and all the younger gentlemen-- both those who slept under our roof, and those who_would_have a dozen miles of fog and mire to encounter on their road home-- were all together . need I_say that Reginald was there ? he sat near me-- my accepted lover, my plighted future husband . we were to_be married in_the spring . my sisters were_not far off; they, too, had found eyes that sparkled and softened in meeting theirs, had found hearts that beat responsive to_their own . and, in their cases, no rude frost nipped the blossom ere it became the fruit; there_was no canker in their flowerets of young hope, no cloud in their sky . innocent and loving, they were beloved by men worthy of_their esteem .

the room--a large and lofty one, with an arched roof-- had somewhat of a somber character, from being wainscoted and ceiled with polished black oak of a great age . there were mirrors, and there were pictures on_the walls, and handsome furniture, and marble chimney-pieces, and a gay Tournay carpet; but these merely appeared as bright spots on_the dark background of_the Elizabethan woodwork . many lights were burning, but the blackness of_the walls and roof seemed absolutely to swallow up their rays, like the mouth of a cavern .a hundred candles could_not have given that apartment the cheerful lightness of a modern drawing room . but the gloomy richness of_the panels matched well with_the ruddy gleam from_the enormous wood- fire, in_which, crackling and glowing, now lay the mighty yule log . quite a blood- red luster poured forth from_the fire, and quivered on_the walls and_the groined roof . we had gathered round the vast antique hearth in a wide circle . the quivering light of_the fire and candles fell upon us all, but not equally, for some were in shadow .I remember still how tall and manly and handsome Reginald looked that night, taller by_the head than any there, and full of high spirits and gayety .I, too, was in_the highest spirits; never had my bosom felt lighter, and I believe it_was my mirth that gradually gained the rest, for I recollect what a blithe, joyous company we seemed . all save one . lady Speldhurst, dressed in gray silk and wearing a quaint head- dress, sat in her armchair, facing the fire, very silent, with

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