Oz 08: Tik-Tok of Oz by L. Frank Baum
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TIK-TOK of OZ

by L . frank BAUM

to Louis F .Gottschalk, whose sweet and dainty melodies breathe the true spirit of fairyland, this book is affectionately dedicated

to my Readers

the very marked success of_my last year's fairy book, " the patchwork girl of Oz," convinces me that my readers like the Oz stories " best of all," as one little girl wrote me . so here, my dears, is a new Oz story in_which is introduced Ann Soforth, the queen of Oogaboo, whom Tik-Tok assisted in conquering our old acquaintance, the Nome king . it also tells of Betsy bobbin and how, after many adventures, she finally reached the marvelous land of Oz .

there_is a play called " the Tik-Tok man of Oz," but it_is_not like this story of "Tik-Tok of Oz," although some_of_the adventures recorded in_this book, as_well as_those in several_other Oz books, are included in_the play . those who_have seen the play and those who_have read the other Oz books will_find in_this story alot of strange characters and adventures that they_have never heard of before .

in_the letters I receive from children there_has_been an urgent appeal for_me to write a story that_will take trot and Cap'n bill to_the land of Oz, where they_will meet Dorothy and Ozma . also they_think button- bright ought to_get acquainted with Ojo the lucky . as_you_know, I_am obliged to_talk these matters over with Dorothy by_means of_the " wireless," for that_is_the only way I_can communicate with_the land of Oz . when I asked her about_this idea, she replied: " why, haven't you heard ? " I_said " no ." " well," came the message over the wireless, "I'll tell you all about_it, by and by, and then you_can_make a book of_that story for_the children to read ."

so, if Dorothy keeps her word and I_am permitted to write another Oz book, you_will probably discover how all these characters came together in_the famous emerald city . meantime, i_want to_tell all my little friends-- whose numbers are increasing by many thousands every year-- that I_am very grateful for_the favor they_have shown my books and for_the delightful little letters I_am constantly receiving . I_am almost sure that I_have as_many friends among_the children of America as any story writer alive; and this, of_course, makes me very proud and happy .

L . frank Baum .

"OZCOT" at Hollywood in California, 1914 .

list of CHAPTERS 1 - Ann's army 2 - out of Oogaboo 3 - magic Mystifies the Marchers 4 - Betsy Braves the bellows 5 - the Roses repulse the Refugees 6 - shaggy Seeks his stray brother 7 - polychrome's pitiful plight 8 - Tik-Tok Tackles a tough task 9 - Ruggedo's rage is rash and reckless 10 - a terrible tumble through a tube 11 - the famous fellowship of Fairies 12 - the lovely lady of light 13 - the Jinjin's just judgment 14 - the long-Eared hearer Learns by Listening 15 - the dragon Defies danger 16 - the naughty Nome 17 - a tragic transformation 18 - a clever conquest 19 - king Kaliko 20 - Quox quietly Quits 21 - a bashful brother 22 - kindly Kisses 23 - Ruggedo Reforms 24 - Dorothy is delighted 25 - the land of love

TIK-TOK of OZ

chapter one

Ann's army

"I won't ! " cried Ann; "I won't sweep the floor . it_is beneath my dignity ."

" some one must sweep it," replied Ann's younger sister, Salye; " else we_shall soon be wading in dust . and you_are the eldest, and_the head of_the family ."

"I'm queen of Oogaboo," said Ann, proudly ." but," she added with a sigh, " my kingdom is_the smallest and_the poorest in all the land of Oz ."

this_was quite true . away up in_the mountains, in a far corner of_the beautiful fairyland of Oz, lies a small valley which_is named Oogaboo, and in_this valley lived a few people who were usually happy and contented and never cared to wander over the mountain pass into_the more settled parts of_the land . they knew that all of Oz, including their own territory, was ruled by a beautiful princess named Ozma, who lived in_the splendid emerald city; yet the simple folk of Oogaboo never visited Ozma . they had a royal family of_their own-- not especially to rule over them, but just as a matter of pride .Ozma permitted the various parts of her country to_have their Kings and Queens and Emperors and_the like, but all were ruled over by_the lovely girl queen of_the emerald city .

the king of Oogaboo used to_be a man named Jol Jemkiph Soforth, who for many years did all the drudgery of deciding disputes and telling his people when to plant cabbages and pickle onions . but the king's wife had a sharp tongue and small respect for_the king, her husband; therefore one night king Jol crept over the pass into_the land of Oz and disappeared from Oogaboo for good and all . the queen waited a few years for him to return and then started in search of him, leaving her eldest daughter, Ann Soforth, to act as queen .

now, Ann had_not forgotten when her birthday came, for_that meant a party and feasting and dancing, but she had quite forgotten how_many years the birthdays marked . in a land where people live always, this_is_not considered a cause for regret, so we_may justly say that queen Ann of Oogaboo was old enough to_make jelly-- and let it go at_that .

but she didn't make jelly, or do any more of_the housework than she_could help . she was an ambitious woman and constantly resented the fact that her kingdom was so tiny and her people so stupid and unenterprising . often she wondered what had become of her father and mother, out beyond the pass, in_the wonderful land of Oz, and_the fact that they_did_not return to Oogaboo led Ann to suspect that_they had found a better place to live . so, when Salye refused to sweep the floor of_the living room in_the palace, and Ann would_not sweep it, either, she said to her sister:

"I'm going away . this absurd kingdom of Oogaboo tires me ."

" go, if_you_want to," answered Salye; " but you_are very foolish to leave this place ."

" why ? " asked Ann .

" because in_the land of Oz, which_is Ozma's country, you_will_be a nobody, while here you_are a queen ."

"Oh, yes ! queen over eighteen men, twenty-seven women and forty-four children ! " returned Ann bitterly .

" well, there_are certainly more people than that in_the great land of Oz," laughed Salye ." why don't you raise an army and conquer them, and be queen of all Oz ? " she asked, trying to taunt Ann and so to anger her . then she made a face at her sister and went into_the back yard to swing in_the hammock .

her jeering words, however, had given queen Ann an idea . she reflected that Oz was reported to_be a peaceful country and Ozma amere girl who ruled with gentleness to all and was obeyed because her people loved her . even in Oogaboo the story was told that Ozma's sole army consisted of twenty- seven fine officers, who wore beautiful uniforms but carried no weapons, because there_was no one to fight . once there had_been a private soldier, besides the officers, but Ozma had made him a captain- general and taken away his gun for fear it might accidentally hurt some one .

the more Ann thought about_the_matter the more she was convinced it would_be easy to conquer the land of Oz and set herself up as ruler in Ozma's place, if she but had an army to_do_it with .Afterward she_could go out into_the world and conquer other lands, and then perhaps she_could find a way to_the moon, and conquer that . she had a warlike spirit that preferred trouble to idleness .

it all depended on an army, Ann decided . she carefully counted in her mind all the men of her kingdom . yes; there were exactly eighteen of_them, all told . that_would not make a very big army, but by surprising Ozma's unarmed officers her men might easily subdue them ." gentle people are always afraid of_those that bluster," Ann told herself ."I don't wish to shed any blood, for that_would shock my nerves and I_might faint; but if_we threaten and flash our weapons I_am_sure the people of Oz will fall upon their knees before me and surrender ."

this argument, which she repeated to herself more than once, finally determined the queen of Oogaboo to undertake the audacious venture .

" whatever happens," she reflected, " can make me no more unhappy than my staying shut up in_this miserable valley and sweeping floors and quarreling with sister Salye; so i_will venture all, and win what I_may ."

that very day she started out to organize her army .

the first man she came to was Jo apple, so called because he had an apple orchard .

"Jo," said Ann, " I_am going to conquer the world, and i_want you to join my army ."

"Don't ask me to_do such a fool thing, for I_must politely refuse your majesty," said Jo apple ."

" I_have no intention of asking you . I_shall command you, as queen of Oogaboo, to join," said Ann .

" in_that case, I suppose I_must obey," the man remarked, in a sad voice ." but I pray you to consider that I_am a very_important citizen, and for_that reason am entitled to an office of high rank ."

" you shall be a general," promised Ann .

" with gold epaulets and a sword ? " he asked .

" of_course," said the queen .

then she went to_the next man, whose name was Jo Bunn, as he owned an orchard where graham-buns and wheat-buns, in great variety, both hot and cold, grew on_the trees .

"Jo," said Ann, " I_am going to conquer the world, and I command you to join my army ."

" impossible ! " he exclaimed ." the bun crop has_to be picked ."

" let your wife and children do_the picking," said Ann .

" but I'm a man of great importance, your majesty," he protested .

" for_that reason you shall be one of_my Generals, and wear acocked hat with gold braid, and curl your mustaches and clank a long sword," she promised .

so he consented, although sorely against his will, and_the queen walked on to_the next cottage . here lived Jo cone, so called because the trees in_his orchard bore crops of excellent ice- cream cones .

"Jo," said Ann, " I_am going to conquer the world, and you_must join my army ."

" excuse me, please," said Jo cone ." I_am a bad fighter . my good wife conquered me years_ago, for she_can fight better than I . take her, your majesty, instead of me, and I'll bless you for_the favor ."

" this must_be an army of men-- fierce, ferocious warriors," declared Ann, looking sternly upon_the mild little man .

" and you_will leave my wife here in Oogaboo ? " he asked .

" yes; and make you a general ."

"I'll go," said Jo cone, and Ann went on to_the cottage of Jo Clock, who had an orchard of clock-trees . this man at first insisted that he_would_not join the army, but queen Ann's promise to_make him a general finally won his consent .

" how_many Generals are there in your army ? " he asked .

"Four, so_far," replied Ann .

" and how big will the army be ? " was his next question .

"I intend to_make every_one_of_the eighteen men in Oogaboo join it," she said .

" then four Generals are enough," announced Jo Clock ."I advise you to make_the rest of_them Colonels ."

Ann tried to_follow his advice . the next four men she visited-- who were Jo plum, Jo Egg, Jo banjo and Jo cheese, named after_the trees in their orchards-- she made Colonels of her army; but the fifth one, Jo Nails, said Colonels and Generals were getting to_be altogether too common in_the army of Oogaboo and he preferred to_be a major . so Jo Nails, Jo cake, Jo ham and Jo stockings were all four made Majors, while the next four--Jo sandwich, Jo Padlocks, Jo sundae and Jo Buttons-- were appointed Captains of_the army .

but now queen Ann was in a quandary . there remained but two other men in all Oogaboo, and if she made these two Lieutenants, while there were four Captains, four Majors, four Colonels and four Generals, there_was likely to_be jealousy in her army, and perhaps mutiny and desertions .

one_of_these men, however, was Jo candy, and he_would_not go at all . no promises could tempt him, nor could threats move him . he_said he_must remain at home to harvest his crop of jackson-balls, lemon-drops, bonbons and chocolate-creams . also he had large fields of crackerjack and buttered pop corn to_be mowed and threshed, and he_was determined not to disappoint the children of Oogaboo by going away to conquer the world and so let the candy crop spoil .

Finding Jo candy so obstinate, queen Ann let him have his own way and continued her journey to_the house of_the eighteenth and last man in Oogaboo, who was a young fellow named Jo Files . this Files had twelve trees which bore steel files of various sorts; but also he had nine book-trees, on_which grew a choice selection of story-books . in_case you_have never seen books growing upon trees, i_will explain that_those in Jo Files' orchard were enclosed in broad green husks which, when fully ripe, turned to a deep red color . then the books were picked and husked and were ready to read . if_they were picked too soon, the stories were found to_be confused and uninteresting and_the spelling bad . however, if allowed to ripen perfectly, the stories were fine reading and_the spelling and grammar excellent .

Files freely gave his books to all who wanted them, but the people of Oogaboo cared little for books and so he had to read most of_them himself, before_they spoiled . for, as_you probably know, as_soon_as_the books were read the words disappeared and_the leaves withered and faded-- which_is the worst fault of all books which grow upon trees .

when queen Ann spoke to_this young man Files, who was both intelligent and ambitious, he_said he thought it would_be great fun to conquer the world . but he_called her attention to_the fact that he_was far superior to_the other men of her army . therefore, he_would_not_be one of her Generals or Colonels or Majors or Captains, but claimed the honor of being sole private .

Ann did_not like this idea at all .

"I hate to_have a private soldier in my

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