A couple of sad experiences

by mark twain

when I published a squib recently in_which I_said i_was going to edit an Agricultural department in_this magazine, I certainly did_not desire to deceive anybody .I had_not the remotest desire to play upon any_one's confidence with a practical joke, for he_is a pitiful creature indeed who_will degrade the dignity of_his humanity to_the contriving of_the witless inventions that go by_that name .I purposely wrote the thing as absurdly and as extravagantly as it could_be written, in_order_to_be sure and not mislead hurried or heedless readers: for I spoke of launching a triumphal barge upon a desert, and planting a tree of prosperity in a mine--a tree whose fragrance should slake the thirst of_the naked, and whose branches should spread abroad till they washed the chorea of, etc ., etc . i_thought that manifest lunacy like that_would protect the reader . but to_make assurance absolute, and show that I_did_not and could_not seriously mean to attempt an Agricultural department, I stated distinctly in my postscript that I_did_not know anything about agriculture . but alas ! right there_is where I_made my worst mistake-- for_that remark seems to_have recommended my proposed agriculture more than anything else . it lets a little light in on me, and I fancy I perceive that_the farmers feel a little bored, sometimes, by_the oracular profundity of agricultural editors who " know it all ." in_fact, one of_my correspondents suggests this ( for_that unhappy squib has deluged me with letters about potatoes, and cabbages, and hominy, and vermicelli, and maccaroni, and all the other fruits, cereals, and vegetables that ever grew on earth; and if I get done answering questions about_the best way of raising these things before I go raving crazy, I_shall_be thankful, and shall never write obscurely for fun any more) .

shall I tell the real reason why I_have unintentionally succeeded in fooling so_many people ? it_is because some_of_them only read a little of_the squib i_wrote and jumped to_the conclusion that_it_was serious, and_the rest did_not read it at all, but heard of_my agricultural venture at second- hand . those cases I_could_not guard against, of_course . to write a burlesque so wild that its pretended facts will_not_be accepted in perfect good faith by somebody, is, very nearly an impossible thing to_do . it_is because, in some instances, the reader is a person who never tries to deceive anybody himself, and therefore is_not expecting any_one to wantonly practise a deception upon him; and in this_case the only person dishonoured is_the man who wrote the burlesque . in other instances the "nub" or moral of_the burlesque-- if its object be to enforce a truth--escapes notice in_the superior glare of something in_the body of_the burlesque itself . and very often this " moral" is tagged on at_the bottom, and_the reader, not knowing that_it_is the key of_the whole thing and_the only important paragraph in_the article, tranquilly turns up his nose at it and leaves it unread . one can deliver a satire with telling force through_the insidious medium of a travesty, if he_is careful not to overwhelm the satire with_the extraneous interest of_the travesty, and so bury it from_the reader's sight and leave him ajoked and defrauded victim, when_the honest intent was to add to either his knowledge or his wisdom . I_have_had a deal of experience in burlesques and their unfortunate aptness to deceive the public, and this_is why I tried hard to_make that agricultural one so broad and so perfectly palpable that even a one- eyed potato could_see it; and yet, as I speak the solemn truth, it fooled one_of_the ablest agricultural editors in America !