Oz 15: The Royal Book of Oz by Ruth Plumly Thompson
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the royal book of Oz

by ruth Plumly Thompson

chapter 1

professor WOGGLEBUG'S great idea

" the very thing ! " exclaimed professor Wogglebug, bounding into_the air and upsetting his gold inkwell ." the very next idea ! "

" who -- me ? " a round- faced little Munchkin boy stuck his head in_the door and regarded professor Wogglebug solemnly . he_was working his way through_the professor's athletic college, and one of_his duties was to wait upon_this eminent educator of Oz .

" certainly not ! " snapped professor Wogglebug ." you're a nobody or a nothing . stop gaping and fetch me my hat .I'm off to_the emerald city . and mind the pupils take their history pills regularly while I'm gone," he added, clapping his tall hat Zif held out to him on_the back of_his head .

" yes, sir ! " said the little Munchkin respectfully .

"Don't hurry back, sir ! " this last remark the professor did_not hear, for he_was already half way down the college steps .

"Ozma will_be delighted with_the idea . how clever I_am ! " he murmured, twirling his antennae and walking rapidly down the pleasant blue lane .

the professor, whose college of art and athletic perfection is in_the southwestern part of_the Munchkin country, is_the biggest bug in Oz, or in anyplace else, for_that matter . he has_made education painless by substituting school pills for books . his students take Latin, history and spelling pills; they swallow knowledge of every kind with ease and pleasure and spend the rest of_their time in sport . no wonder he_is so_well thought of in Oz ! no wonder he thinks so_well of himself !

Swinging his cane jauntily, the professor hurried toward the yellow brick road that leads to_the emerald city, and by nightfall had reached the lovely capital of Oz .

Oz ! -- that marvelous country where no one grows old -- where animals and birds talk as sensibly as people, and adventures happen every day . indeed, of all fairylands in_the_world, Oz is_the most delightful, and of all fairy cities, the emerald city is_the most beautiful .a soft green light shone for miles about, and_the gemmed turrets and spires of_the palace flashed more brightly than_the stars . but its loveliness was familiar to professor Wogglebug, and without a pause he proceeded to Ozma's palace and was at once admitted to_the great hall .

a roar of merriment greeted his ears .Ozma, the lovely girl ruler of Oz, was having a party, and_the room was full of most surprising people -- surprising to some, that_is, but old friends to most of us .

jack, holding tightly to_his pumpkin head, was running as fast as his wooden feet and wobbly legs would take him from Dorothy .a game of blind- man's- buff was in full swing, and Scraps and Tik-Tok, the Scarecrow and nick chopper, the glass Cat and_the cowardly lion, the wizard of Oz and_the wooden sawhorse, Cap'n bill and Betsy bobbin, Billina and_the hungry tiger were tumbling over each_other in an effort to_keep away from_the blindfolded little girl .

but Dorothy was too quick for_them . with a sudden whirl, she spun ' round and grasped acoatsleeve .

" the Scarecrow ! " she laughed triumphantly ." I_can tell by_the_way he skwoshes -- and now he's it ! "

"I'm always it ! " chuckled the droll person ." but -- hah ! behold the learned professor standing so aloofly in_our midst ."

no one had noticed professor Wogglebug, who had_been quietly watching the game .

"I don't like to interrupt the party," he began, approaching Ozma's throne apologetically, " but I've just had a most brilliant idea ! "

" what ? another ? " murmured the Scarecrow, rolling up his eyes .

" where did you lose it ? " asked jack Pumpkinhead, edging forward anxiously .

" lose it ! who said I'd lost it ? " snapped the professor, glaring at poor jack .

" well, you said you'd had it, and had is_the past tense, so --" jack's voice trailed off uncertainly, and Ozma, seeing he_was embarrassed, begged the professor to explain .

" your highness ! " began professor Wogglebug, while the company settled down in a resigned circle on_the floor, " as Oz is_the most interesting and delightful country on_the continent of imagination and its people the most unusual and talented, I_am about to compile a royal book which will give the names and history of all our people . in other words, I_am to_be the great, grand genealogist of Oz ! "

" whatever that_is," the Scarecrow whispered in Dorothy's ear .

" and," the professor frowned severely on_the Scarecrow, " with your majesty's permission, I_shall start at once ! "

" please do," said the Scarecrow with a wave toward the door, " and we_will go on with_the party ! "

Scraps, the patchwork girl, who had_been staring fixedly at_the professor with her silver suspender- button eyes, now sprang to her feet:

" what_is a genealogist ? it's something no one here has missed; what puts such notions in your head ? turn out your toes -- or go to bed ! "

she shouted gaily, then, catching Ozma's disapproving glance, fell over backwards .

"I don't understand it at all," said jack Pumpkinhead in a depressed voice ."I'm afraid my head's too ripe ."

" nor I," said Tik-Tok, the copper clockwork man ." please wind me up alit-tle tight-er Dor-o- thy, i_want to_think ! "

Dorothy obligingly took a key suspended from a hook on_his back and wound him up under his left arm . everybody began to_talk at once, and what with_the cowardly lion's deep growl and Tik-Tok's squeaky voice and all the rest of_the tin and meat and wooden voices, the confusion was terrible .

" wait ! " cried Ozma, clapping her hands .

immediately the room grew so still that one could hear Tik-Tok's machinery whirring ' round .

" now ! " said Ozma, " one at_a_time, please, and_let_us hear from_the Scarecrow first ."

the Scarecrow rose ." i_think, your highness," he_said modestly, " that anyone who has studied his Geozify already knows who we_are and --"

" who you_are ? " broke in_the Wogglebug scornfully -- " of_course they_do -- but I_shall tell them who you were ! "

" who I were ? " gasped the Scarecrow in adazed voice, raising his cotton glove to_his forehead ." who I were ? well, who were I ? "

" that's just the point," said professor Wogglebug ." who were you ? who were your ancestors ? where is your family ? where is your family tree ? from what did you descend ? "

at each question, the Scarecrow looked more embarrassed . he repeated the last one several_times .

" from what did I descend ? from what did I descend ? why, from a bean pole ! " he cried .

this_was perfectly true, for Dorothy, a little girl blown by a Kansas cyclone to_the kingdom of Oz, had discovered the Scarecrow in a farmer's cornfield and had lifted him down from_his pole . together they had made the journey to_the emerald city, where the wizard of Oz had fitted him out with a fine set of brains . at one_time, he had ruled Oz and was generally considered its cleverest citizen .

before he_could reply further, the patchwork girl, who was simply irrepressible, burst out:

" an ex- straw- ordinary man is he ! a bean pole for_his family tree, aCornishman, upon my soul, Descended from a tall, thin pole ! "

" nonsense ! " said professor Wogglebug sharply, " being stuffed with straw may make him extraordinary, but it_is quite plain that_the Scarecrow was nobody before he_was himself . he has no ancestors, no family; only a bean pole for a family tree, and_is therefore entitled to_the merest mention in_the royal book of Oz ! "

" how about_my brains ? " asked the Scarecrow in a hurt voice ."Aren't they enough ? "

"Brains have simply nothing to_do with royalty ! " professor Wogglebug waved his fountain pen firmly ." now --"

" but see here, wasn't I ruler of Oz ? " put in_the Scarecrow anxiously .

"A ruler but never a royalty ! " snapped out the professor ." now, if_you_will all answer my questions as I call your names, I'll get the necessary data and be off ."

he_took out a small memorandum book .

" your highness," he bowed to Ozma, " need not bother . I_have already entered your_name at_the head of_the list . being descended as_you_are from a long line of fairies, your family tree is_the oldest and most illustrious in Oz ."

" princess Dorothy ! "

at_the sound of her name, the little girl stood up .

" I_know you_are from Kansas and were created a princess of Oz by our gracious ruler, but can_you tell me anything of your ancestors in America ? " demanded the professor, staring over the top of_his thick glasses .

" you'll have to ask uncle Henry and aunt Em," said Dorothy rather sulkily . the professor had hurt the feelings of her best friend, the Scarecrow, and ancestors did_not interest her one little bit .

" very_well," said the professor, writing industriously in_his book ."I'll just enter you as ' Dorothy, princess of Oz and sixth cousin to a president ! ' "

"I'm not ! " Dorothy shook her head positively .

"Oh, everyone in America can claim that ! " said the professor easily .

" nick chopper ! "

now up rose our old friend the tin woodman, who had also been discovered by Dorothy on her first trip to_the fairyland of Oz .

" you were a man of meat at one_time and a woodman by trade ? " queried professor Wogglebug, poising his pen in_the air .

" I_am a tin woodman, and you_may enter me in your book under the name of smith, for a tin smith made me, and as royal emperor of_the Winkies, I_do_not care to_go back to my meat connections," said the tin woodman in a dignified voice .

the company applauded, and_the cowardly lion thumped the floor with_his tail .

" smith is a very_good name . I_can work up a whole chapter on_that," smiled the professor . the tin woodman had once been a regular person, but a wicked witch enchanted his ax, and first it chopped off one leg, then the other, and next both arms and_his head . after each accident, nick went to a tinsmith for repairs, and finally was entirely made of tin . nowhere but in Oz could such a thing happen . but no one can_be killed in_this marvelous country, and nick, with_his tin body, went gaily on living and was considered so distinguished that_the Winkies had begged him to_be their emperor .

"Scraps ! " called the professor as nick sat stiffly down beside Dorothy .

the patchwork girl pirouetted madly to_the front .Putting one finger in her mouth, she sang:

"I'm made of patches, as you_see .a clothes tree is my family tree but, pshaw ! it's all the same to_me ! "

a clothes tree ? even professor Wogglebug grinned . who_could help laughing at Scraps ? made of odd pieces of goods and brought to life by_the powder of life, the comical girl was_the jolliest person imaginable .

" put me down as a man of me-tal ! " drawled Tik-Tok the copper man as_the laugh following Scraps' rhyme had subsided .Tik-Tok was still another of Dorothy's discoveries, and this marvelous machine man, guaranteed to last a thousand years, could think, walk, and talk when properly wound .

the cowardly lion was entered as a king in_his own right . one after_the other, the celebrities of Oz came forward to answer professor Wogglebug's questions . the professor wrote rapidly in_his little book .Ozma listened attentively to each_one, and_they all seemed interested except the Scarecrow . slumped down beside Dorothy, he stared morosely at_the ceiling, his jolly face all wrinkled down on one side .

" if I only knew who I were ! " he muttered over and over ." I_must think ! "

"Don't you mind ." Dorothy patted his shoulder kindly ."Royalties are out_of_date, and I'll bet the professor's family tree was a milkweed ! "

but the Scarecrow refused to_be comforted, and long after_the company had retired he sat hunched sadly in_his corner .

"I'll do_it ! I'll do_it ! " he exclaimed at last, rising unsteadily to_his feet .Jellia Jamb, Ozma's little waiting maid, returning somewhat later to fetch a handkerchief her mistress had dropped, was surprised to_see him running through_the long hall .

" why, where are_you going ? " asked Jellia .

" to_find my family tree ! " said the Scarecrow darkly, and drawing himself up to_his full height, he fell through_the doorway .

chapter 2

the SCARECROW'S family tree

the moon shone brightly, but everyone in_the emerald city was fast asleep ! through_the deserted streets hurried the Scarecrow . for_the first time since his discovery by little Dorothy, he_was really unhappy .Living as he_did in a fairyland, he had taken many things for granted and had rather prided himself on_his unusual appearance . indeed, not until professor Wogglebug's rude remarks concerning his family had he given his past a thought .

" I_am the only person in Oz without a family ! " he reflected sorrowfully ." even the cowardly lion has kingly parents and a palm tree ! but I_must keep thinking . my brains have never failed me yet . who was I ? who were I ? who were I ? "

often he thought so hard that he forgot to look where he_was going and ran headlong into fences, stumbled down gutters, and over stiles . but fortunately, the dear fellow could_not hurt himself, and he_would struggle up, pat his straw into shape, and walk straightway into something else . he_made good_time in between falls, however, and was soon well on_his way down the yellow brick road that ran through_the Munchkin country . for he had determined to return to_the Munchkin farm where Dorothy had first discovered him and try to_find some traces of_his family .

now being stuffed with straw had many advantages, for requiring neither food nor sleep the Scarecrow could travel night and day without interruption . the stars winked out one by one, and by_the_time the cocks of_the Munchkin farmers began to crow, he had come to_the banks of a broad blue river !

the Scarecrow took off his hat and scratched his head thoughtfully .Crossing rivers is no easy matter in Oz, for there isn't a ferry in_the

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