Oz 15: The Royal Book of Oz by Ruth Plumly Thompson
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present," said Dorothy, wringing out her dress ." you ought_to_be ashamed of yourself ."

"I'll make a note of_that," said the little man earnestly ." but how did you feel when_you went down ? " he waited, his pencil poised over the little book .

" go away," cried Dorothy in disgust .

" but my dear young lady --"

"I'm not your dear young lady .Oh, dear, why doesn't the cowardly lion come back ? "

" go away, Mem ." the second little man, dripping wet, came up hurriedly .

" i_was only trying to_get a little information," grumbled Mem sulkily .

"I'm sorry I couldn't swim faster," said the wet little man, approaching Dorothy apologetically .

" well, thank_you_for trying," said Dorothy ." is he your brother ? and could you tell me where you_are ? you're dressed in yellow, so I 'spose it must_be somewhere in_the Winkie country ."

" right in both cases," chuckled the little fellow ." my name is Ran and_his name is Memo ." he jerked his thumb at_the retiring twin ."Randum and Memo -- see ? "

" i_think I_do," said Dorothy, half closing her eyes ." is_that why he's always taking notes ? "

" exactly," said Ran ." I_do everything at random, and he_does everything at memorandum ."

" it must_be rather confusing," said Dorothy . then as she caught sight of_the cowardly lion dragging sir Hokus, she jumped up excitedly .Ran, however, took one look at_the huge beast and then fled, calling for Mem at_the top of_his voice . and that_is_the last Dorothy saw of_these singular twins .

the lion dropped sir Hokus in a limp heap . when Dorothy unfastened his armor, gallons of water rushed out .

"Sho good of -- of -- you," choked the poor knight, trying to straighten up .

" save your breath, old fellow," said the cowardly lion, regarding him affectionately .

"Oh, why did I ask for water on_the end of_the road ? " sighed Dorothy ." but, anyway, we're in some part of_the Winkie country ."

sir Hokus, though still spluttering, was beginning to revive ." yon noble bheast shall be knighted .Uds daggers ! that's the shecond time he's shaved my life ! " Rising unsteadily, he tottered over to_the lion and struck him a sharp blow on_the shoulder ."Rishe, Shir cowardly lion," he cried hoarsely, and fell headlong, and before Dorothy or the lion had recovered from their surprise he_was fast asleep, mumbling happily of dragons and bludgeons .

" we'll have to wait till he gets rested," said Dorothy ." and until I get dry ." she began running up and down, then stopped suddenly before_the lion .

" and there's something else for professor Wogglebug to_put in_his book, sir cowardly lion ."

"Oh, that ! " mumbled the cowardly lion, looking terribly embarrassed ." whoever heard of a cowardly knight ? nonsense ! "

" no, it isn't nonsense," said Dorothy stoutly ." you're a knight from now on . won't the Scarecrow be pleased ? "

" if_we ever find him," sighed the lion, settling himself beside sir Hokus .

" we_will," said Dorothy gaily ."I just feel it ."

chapter 14

SONS and GRANDSONS greet the SCARECROW

although the Scarecrow had_been on silver island only a few_days, he had already instituted many reforms, and thanks to_his cleverness the people were more prosperous than ever before .Cheers greeted him wherever he went, and even old chew chew was more agreeable and no longer made bitter remarks to happy Toko . the Scarecrow himself, however, had four new wrinkles and was exceedingly melancholy . he missed the carefree life in Oz, and every_minute that he_was not ruling the island he_was thinking about his old home and dear, jolly comrades in_the emerald city .

"I almost hope they_will look in_the magic picture and wish me back again," he mused pensively ." but it_is my duty to stay here . I_have a family to support ." so he resolved to_put the best face he_could on_the matter, and happy Toko did his utmost to cheer up his royal master . the second morning after_the great victory, he_came running into_the silver throne room in a great state of excitement .

" the honorable Offspring have arriven ! " (sic) announced happy, turning a somersault ." come, ancient and amiable sir, and gaze upon your sons and grandsons ! " the Scarecrow sprang joyously from_his silver throne, upsetting a bowl of silver fish and three silver vases . at last a real family ! ever_since his arrival, the three princes and their fifteen little sons had_been cruising on_the royal pleasure barge, so that_the Scarecrow had_not caught a glimpse of_them .

" this_is_the happiest moment of_my life ! " he exclaimed, clasping his yellow gloves and watching the door intently . happy looked a little uneasy, for he_knew the three princes to_be exceedingly haughty and overbearing, but he_said nothing, and next minute the Scarecrow's family stepped solemnly into_the royal presence .

" children ! " cried the Scarecrow, and with_his usual impetuousness rushed forward and flung his arms around the first richly clad prince .

" take care ! take care, ancient and honorable papa ! " cried the young Silverman, backing away ." such excitement is_not good for_one of your advanced years ." he drew himself away firmly and, adjusting a huge pair of silver spectacles, regarded the Scarecrow attentively ."Ah, how you_have changed ! "

" he looks very feeble, too fang, but may he live long to rule this flowery island and_our humble selves ! " said the second prince, bowing stiffly .

" do_you not find the affairs of state fatiguing, darling papa ? " inquired the third prince, fingering a jeweled chain that hung around his neck .

"I, as_your eldest son, shall be delighted to relieve you_should you wish to retire . get back ten paces, you ! " he roared at happy Toko .

the poor Scarecrow had_been so taken aback by_this cool reception that he just stared in disbelief .

" if_the three honorable princes will retire themselves, i_will speak with my grandsons," he_said dryly, bowing in_his most royal manner . the three princes exchanged startled glances . then, with three low salaams, they retired backward from_the hall .

" and now, my dears -- ! " the Scarecrow looked wistfully at his fifteen silken- clad little grandsons . their silver hair, plaited tightly into little queues, stood out stiffly on each side of_their heads and gave them a very curious appearance . at his first word, the fifteen fell dutifully on their noses . as_soon_as they were right side up, the Scarecrow, beginning at_the end of_the row, addressed ajoking question to each in_his most approved Oz style . but over they went again, and answered merely:

" yes, gracious grand-papapapah ! " or " no honorable Grandpapapapah ! " and_the constant bobbing up and down and papahing so confused the poor Scarecrow that he nearly gave up the conversation .

" it's no use trying to_talk to_these children," he wailed in disgust, " they're so solemn .Don't you ever laugh ? " he cried in exasperation, for he had told them stories that_would_have sent the Oz youngsters into hysterics .

" it_is_not permissible for a prince to laugh at_the remarks of_his honorable grandparent," whispered happy Toko, while the fifteen little princes banged their heads solemnly on_the floor .

" honorable fiddlesticks ! " exclaimed the Scarecrow, slumping back on_his throne ." bring cushions ." happy Toko ran off nimbly, and soon the fifteen little princes were seated in a circle at_the Scarecrow's feet ." to_prevent prostrations," said the Scarecrow .

" yes, old Grandpapapapapah ! " chorused the princes, bending over as far as they_could .

" wait ! " said the Scarecrow hastily, "I'll tell you a story . once upon a time, to a beautiful country called Oz, which_is surrounded on all sides by a deadly desert, there came a little girl named Dorothy .a terrible gale -- well, what's the matter now ? " the Scarecrow stopped short, for_the oldest prince had jerked a book out of_his sleeve and was flipping over the pages industriously .

" it_is_not on_the map, great grand papapapah," he announced solemnly, and all of_the other little princes shook their heads and said dully, " not on_the map ."

" not on_the map -- Oz ? of_course it's not . do_you suppose we_want all the humans in creation coming there ? " Calming down, the Scarecrow tried to_continue his story, but every time he_mentioned Oz, the little princes shook their heads stubbornly and whispered, " not on_the map," till the usually good- tempered Scarecrow flew into perfect passion .

" not on_the map, you little villains ! " he screamed, forgetting they were his grandsons ." what difference does that make ? are your heads solid silver ? "

" we_do_not believe in Oz," announced the oldest prince serenely ." there_is no such place ."

" no such place as Oz -- happy, do_you hear that ? " the Scarecrow's voice fairly crackled with indignation ." why, i_thought everybody believed in Oz ! "

" perhaps your highness can convince them later," suggested the imperial Punster ." this_way, offspring ." his master, he_felt, had had enough family for_one day . so the fifteen little princes, with fifteen stiff little bows, took themselves back to_the royal nursery . as for_the Scarecrow, he paced disconsolately up and down his magnificent throne room, tripping over his kimona at every_other step .

" you're a good boy, Tappy," said the Scarecrow as happy returned, " but I tell you being a grandparent is_not what i_thought it would_be . did you hear them tell me right to my face they_did_not believe in Oz ? and my sons -- ugh ! "

" fault of_their bringing up," said happy Toko comfortingly ." if your serene highness would just tell me more of_that illustrious country ! " happy knew that nothing cheered the Scarecrow like talking of Oz, and to_tell the truth happy himself never tired of_the Scarecrow's marvelous stories . so the two slipped quietly into_the palace gardens, and_the Scarecrow related for_the fourteenth time the story of_his discovery by Dorothy and_the story of Ozma, and almost forgot that he_was an emperor .

" your highness knows the history of Oz by heart," said happy admiringly as_the Scarecrow paused .

"I couldn't do_that," said the Scarecrow gently, " for you_see, happy, I_have no heart ."

" then i_wish we all had none ! " exclaimed happy Toko, rolling up his eyes . the Scarecrow looked embarrassed, so the little Punster threw back his head and sang a song he had_been making up while the Scarecrow had_been telling his stories:

the Scarecrow was standing alone in a field, Inviting the crows to_keep off, when_the straw in_his chest began tickling his vest and he couldn't resist a loud cough .

the noise that was heard so surprised ev'ry bird, that_the flock flew away in a fright, but the Scarecrow looked pleased, and he_said " if I'd sneezed it wouldn't have_been so polite ."

"Ho ! " roared the Scarecrow, " you're almost as good at making verses as Scraps, write that down for_me, Tappy .I'd like to show it to her ."

" hush ! " whispered happy, holding up his finger warningly . the Scarecrow turned so suddenly that_the silver pigtail pinned to_the back of_his hat wound itself tightly around his neck . no wonder ! on_the other side of_the hedge the three princes were walking up and down, conversing in indignant whispers .

" what a horrible shape our honorable Papa has reappeared in .I hear that_it never wears out," muttered one ." he_may continue just as he_is for years and years . how am I ever to succeed him, I'd like to_know . why, he_may outlive us all ! "

" we_might throw him into_the silver river," said the second hopefully .

" no use," choked the third ." i_was just talking to_the imperial soothsayer, and he tells me that no one from_this miserable kingdom of Oz can_be destroyed . but I_have a plan . incline your royal ears -- listen ." the voices dropped to such a low whisper that neither happy nor the Scarecrow could hear one word .

" treason ! " spluttered happy, making ready to spring through_the hedge, but the Scarecrow seized him by_the arm and drew him away .

"I don't believe they like their poor papa," exclaimed the Scarecrow when_they were safely back in_the throne room ."I'm feeling older than aKinkajou .Ah, happy Oko, why did I ever slide down my family tree ? it has brought me nothing but unhappiness ."

chapter 15

the three princes plot to undo the emperor

" let me help your imperial serenity ! "

" bring a cane ! "

" carefully, now ! "

the three royal princes, with every show of affection, were supporting the Scarecrow to_the silver bench in_the garden where he usually sat during luncheon .

" are_you quite comfortable ? " asked the elder ." here, happy, you rogue, fetch a scarf for_his imperial highness . you_must_be careful, dear Papa Scarecrow . at your age, drafts are dangerous ." the rascally prince wound the scarf about_the Scarecrow's neck .

" what do_you suppose they_are up_to ? " asked the Scarecrow, staring after_the three suspiciously ." why this sudden devotion ? it upsets my imperial serenity alot ."

"Trying to_make you feel old," grumbled happy . several hours had passed since they had overheard the conversation in_the garden . the Scarecrow had decided to watch his sons closely and fall in with any plan they suggested so they_would suspect nothing . then, when_the time came, he_would act . just what he_would do he_did_not know, but his excellent brains would_not, he_felt sure, desert him . happy Toko sat as close to_the Scarecrow as he_could and scowled terribly whenever the princes approached, which_was every_minute or so during the afternoon .

" how is_the Scarecrow's celestial old head ? "

"Does he suffer from honorable gout ? "

" should they fetch the imperial doctor ? "

the Scarecrow, who had never thought of age in_his whole straw life, became extremely nervous .

was he really old ? did his head ache ? when no one was looking, he_felt himself carefully all over . then something of_his old time Oz spirit returned .Seizing the cushion that his eldest son was placing at his back, he hurled it over his head .Leaping from_his throne, he began turning handsprings in a careless and sprightly manner .

"Don't you worry about_your honorable old papa," chuckled the Scarecrow, winking at happy Toko ." he's good for a couple of centuries ! "

the three princes stared sourly at_this exhibition of youth .

" but your heart," objected the eldest prince .

" have none," laughed the Scarecrow .Snatching off the silver cord from around

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