No. 2 The Red Headed League by Arthur Conan Doyle
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headed folk, and Pope's court looked like acoster's orange barrow .I should_not have thought there were so_many in_the whole country as were brought together by_that single advertisement . every shade of color they were-- straw, lemon, orange, brick, Irish- setter, liver, clay; but, as Spaulding said, there were_not many who had the real vivid flame- colored tint . when I_saw how_many were waiting, i_would_have given it up in despair; but Spaulding would_not hear of it . how he_did it I_could_not imagine, but he pushed and pulled and butted until he got me through_the crowd, and right up_to_the steps which led to_the office . there_was a double stream upon_the stair, some going up in hope, and some coming back dejected; but we wedged in as_well as we_could and soon found ourselves in_the office ."

" your experience has_been a most entertaining one," remarked Holmes as his client paused and refreshed his memory with a huge pinch of snuff ." pray continue your very interesting statement ."

" there_was nothing in_the office but a couple of wooden chairs and a deal table, behind which sat a small man with a head that was even redder than mine . he_said a few words to each candidate as he_came up, and then he always managed to_find some fault in_them which would disqualify them .Getting a vacancy did_not seem_to_be such a very easy matter, after all . however, when our turn came the little man was much more favorable to_me than to any of_the others, and he closed the door as_we entered, so_that he_might_have a private word with_us .

"' this_is Mr Jabez Wilson,' said my assistant, ' and he_is willing to_fill a vacancy in_the league .'

"' and he_is admirably suited for_it,' the other answered .' he has every requirement . I_cannot recall when I_have_seen anything so fine .' he_took a step backward, cocked his head on one side, and gazed at my hair until I_felt quite bashful . then suddenly he plunged forward, wrung my hand, and congratulated me warmly on my success .

"' it would_be injustice to hesitate,' said he .' you_will, however, I_am_sure, excuse me for taking an obvious precaution .' with_that he seized my hair in both his hands, and tugged until I yelled with_the pain .' there_is water in your eyes,' said he as he released me .'I perceive that all is as it should_be . but we_have to_be careful, for we_have twice been deceived by wigs and once by paint . I_could tell you tales of cobbler's wax which would disgust you with human nature .' he stepped over to_the window and shouted through it at_the top of_his voice that_the vacancy was filled .a groan of disappointment came up from below, and_the folk all trooped away in different directions until there_was not a red- head to_be seen except my own and_that of_the manager .

"' my name,' said he, ' is Mr Duncan Ross, and I_am myself one_of_the pensioners upon_the fund left by our noble benefactor . are_you a married man, Mr Wilson ? have_you a family ? '

"I answered that I had_not .

" his face fell immediately .

"' dear me ! ' he_said gravely, ' that_is very serious indeed ! I_am sorry to hear you say that . the fund was, of_course, for_the propagation and spread of_the red-heads as_well as for their maintenance . it_is exceedingly unfortunate that you_should_be a bachelor .'

" my face lengthened at_this, Mr Holmes, for i_thought that i_was not to_have the vacancy after all; but after thinking it over for_a_few_minutes he_said that_it would_be all right .

"' in_the case of another,' said he, ' the objection might_be fatal, but we_must stretch a point in favor of a man with_such a head of hair as yours . when shall you be_able to enter upon your new duties ? '

"' well, it_is a little awkward, for I_have a business already,' said I .

"'Oh, never mind about_that, Mr Wilson ! ' said Vincent Spaulding .' i_should_be able to look after_that for_you .'

"' what would_be the hours ? ' I asked .

"'Ten to two .'

" now a pawnbroker's business is mostly done of an evening, Mr Holmes, especially Thursday and Friday evening, which_is just before pay- day; so it would suit me very_well to earn a little in_the mornings . besides, I_knew that my assistant was a good man, and_that he_would see to anything that turned up .

"' that_would suit me very_well,' said I .' and_the pay ? '

"' is 4 pounds a week .'

"' and_the work ? '

"' is purely nominal .'

"' what do_you call purely nominal ? '

"' well, you_have to_be in_the office, or at_least in_the building, the whole time . if_you leave, you forfeit your whole position forever . the will is very clear upon that point . you don't comply with_the conditions if_you budge from_the office during that_time .'

"' it's only four hours a day, and I should_not think of leaving,' said I .

"' no excuse will avail,' said Mr Duncan Ross; ' neither sickness nor business nor anything else . there you_must stay, or you lose your billet .'

"' and_the work ? '

"' is to copy out the Encyclopaedia Britannica . there_is the first volume of it in_that press . you_must find your own ink, pens, and blotting- paper, but we provide this table and chair . will_you be ready to- morrow ? '

"' certainly,' I answered .

"' then, good-bye, Mr Jabez Wilson, and let me congratulate you once more on_the important position which you_have_been fortunate enough to gain .' he bowed me out_of_the room and I went home with my assistant, hardly knowing what to_say or do, i_was so pleased at my own good fortune .

" well, i_thought over the matter all day, and by evening i_was in low spirits again; for I had quite persuaded myself that_the whole affair must_be some great hoax or fraud, though what its object might_be I_could_not imagine . it seemed altogether past belief that anyone could make such a will, or that they_would pay such a sum for doing anything so simple as copying out the Encyclopaedia Britannica . Vincent Spaulding did what he_could to cheer me up, but by bedtime I had reasoned myself out_of_the whole thing . however, in_the morning I determined to_have a look at it anyhow, so I bought a penny bottle of ink, and with a quill- pen, and seven sheets of foolscap paper, I started off for Pope's court .

" well, to my surprise and delight, everything was as right as possible . the table was set out ready for_me, and Mr Duncan Ross was there to_see that I got fairly to work . he started me off upon_the letter A, and then he left me; but he_would drop in from_time to_time to_see that all was right with me . at two o'clock he bade me good- day, complimented me upon_the amount that I had written, and locked the door of_the office after me .

" this went on day after day, Mr Holmes, and on Saturday the manager came in and planked down four golden sovereigns for_my week's work . it was_the same next week, and_the same the week after . every morning i_was there at ten, and every afternoon I left at two . by degrees Mr Duncan Ross took to coming in only once of a morning, and then, after a time, he_did_not come in at all . still, of_course, I never dared to leave the room for an instant, for i_was not sure when he might come, and_the billet was such a good one, and suited me so_well, that i_would_not risk the loss of it .

"Eight weeks passed away like this, and I had written about Abbots and archery and Armour and architecture and Attica, and hoped with diligence that I_might get on to_the B's before very long . it cost me something in foolscap, and I had pretty nearly filled a shelf with my writings . and then suddenly the whole business came to an end ."

" to an end ? "

" yes, sir . and no later than this_morning .I went to my work as usual at ten o'clock, but the door was shut and locked, with a little square of card- board hammered on to_the middle of_the panel with a tack . here it_is, and you_can read for_yourself ."

he held up a piece of white card- board about_the size of a sheet of note- paper . it read in_this fashion:

the red- headed league

is

dissolved .

October 9, 1890 .

Sherlock Holmes and I surveyed this curt announcement and_the rueful face behind it, until the comical side of_the affair so completely overtopped every_other consideration that we both burst out into a roar of laughter .

"I cannot_see that_there_is anything very funny," cried our client, flushing up_to_the roots of_his flaming head ." if_you_can do nothing better than laugh at me, I_can go elsewhere ."

" no, no," cried Holmes, shoving him back into_the chair from_which he had half risen ."I really wouldn't miss your case for_the world . it_is most refreshingly unusual . but there_is, if_you_will excuse my saying so, something just a little funny about_it . pray what steps did you take when_you found the card upon_the door ? "

" i_was staggered, sir . I_did_not know what to_do . then I called at_the offices round, but none_of_them seemed to_know anything about_it . finally, I went to_the landlord, who_is an accountant living on_the ground- floor, and I asked him if he_could tell me what had become of_the red- headed league . he_said that he had never heard of any such body . then I asked him who Mr Duncan Ross was . he answered that_the name was new to him .

"' well,' said I, ' the gentleman at no .4 .'

"' what, the red- headed man ? '

"' yes .'

"'Oh,' said he, ' his name was William Morris . he_was a solicitor and was using my room as a temporary convenience until his new premises were ready . he moved out yesterday .'

"' where could I_find him ? '

"'Oh, at his new offices . he_did tell me the address . yes, 17 king Edward street, near St .Paul's .'

"I started off, Mr Holmes, but when I got to_that address it_was a manufactory of artificial knee-caps, and no one in_it had ever heard of either Mr William Morris or Mr Duncan Ross ."

" and what did you_do then ? " asked Holmes .

"I went home to Saxe-Coburg square, and i_took the advice of_my assistant . but he_could_not help me in any_way . he_could only say that if I waited i_should hear by post . but that was not quite good enough, Mr Holmes . I_did_not wish to lose such a place without a struggle, so, as I had heard that you were good enough to_give advice to poor folk who were in need of it, I_came right away to_you ."

" and you_did very wisely," said Holmes ." your case is an exceedingly remarkable one, and I_shall_be happy to look into_it . from what you_have told me i_think that_it_is possible that graver issues hang from_it than might at first sight appear ."

" grave enough ! " said Mr Jabez Wilson ." why, I_have lost four pound a week ."

" as far as_you_are personally concerned," remarked Holmes, " I_do_not_see that you_have any grievance against this extraordinary league . on_the contrary, you_are, as I understand, richer by some 30 pounds, to_say nothing of_the minute knowledge which you_have gained on every subject which comes under the letter a. you_have lost nothing by_them ."

" no, sir . but i_want to_find out about_them, and who they_are, and what their object was in playing this prank-- if_it_was a prank-- upon me . it_was a pretty expensive joke for_them, for_it cost them two and thirty pounds ."

" we_shall endeavor to clear up these points for_you . and, first, one_or_two questions, Mr Wilson . this assistant of yours who first called your attention to_the advertisement-- how long had he been with_you ? "

" about a month then ."

" how did he come ? "

" in answer to an advertisement ."

" was he the only applicant ? "

" no, I had a dozen ."

" why did you pick him ? "

" because he_was handy and would come cheap ."

" at half- wages, in_fact ."

" yes ."

" what_is he like, this Vincent Spaulding ? "

" small, stout- built, very quick in_his ways, no hair on_his face, though he's not short of thirty . has a white splash of acid upon his forehead ."

Holmes sat up in_his chair in considerable excitement ." i_thought as_much," said he ." have_you ever observed that his ears are pierced for earrings ? "

" yes, sir . he_told me that a gypsy had done it for him when he_was alad ."

" hum ! " said Holmes, sinking back in deep thought ." he_is still with_you ? "

"Oh, yes, sir; I_have only just left him ."

" and has your business been attended to in your absence ? "

" nothing to complain of, sir . there's never very_much to_do of a morning ."

" that_will do, Mr Wilson . I_shall_be happy to_give_you an opinion upon_the_subject in_the course of a day_or_two . to- day is Saturday, and I_hope_that by Monday we_may come to a conclusion ."

" well, Watson," said Holmes when our visitor had left us, " what do_you make of it all ? "

"I make nothing of it," I answered frankly ." it_is a most mysterious business ."

" as a rule," said Holmes, " the more bizarre a thing is_the less mysterious it proves

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