The Purple Pileus by H.G. Wells
Section [1 | 2]
the purple Pileus

by H .G .Wells

Mr Coombes was sick of life . he walked away from_his unhappy home, and, sick not_only of_his own existence but of everybody else's, turned aside down Gaswork Lane to avoid the town, and, crossing the wooden bridge that goes over the canal to Starling's Cottages, was presently alone in_the damp pine woods and out of sight and sound of human habitation . he_would stand it no longer . he repeated aloud with blasphemies unusual to him that he_would stand it no longer .

he_was a pale- faced little man, with dark eyes and a fine and very black moustache . he had a very stiff, upright collar slightly frayed, that gave him an illusory double chin, and_his overcoat (albeit shabby) was trimmed with astrachan . his gloves were a bright brown with black stripes over the knuckles, and split at_the finger ends . his appearance, his wife had said once in_the dear, dead days beyond recall-- before he married her, that_is-- was military . but now she called him-- it seems a dreadful thing to_tell of between husband and wife, but she called him "a little grub ." it wasn't the_only_thing she had called him, either .

the row had arisen about_that beastly Jennie again .Jennie was his wife's friend, and, by no invitation of Mr Coombes, she came in every blessed Sunday to dinner, and made ashindy all the afternoon . she was a big, noisy girl, with a taste for loud colours and a strident laugh; and this Sunday she had outdone all her previous intrusions by bringing in a fellow with her, achap as showy as herself . and Mr Coombes, in a starchy, clean collar and_his Sunday frock- coat, had sat dumb and wrathful at his own table, while his wife and her guests talked foolishly and undesirably, and laughed aloud . well, he stood that, and after dinner ( which, " as usual," was late), what must miss Jennie do but go to_the piano and play banjo tunes, for all the world as_if it were a week- day ! flesh and blood could_not endure such goings on . they_would hear next door, they_would hear in_the road, it_was a public announcement of_their disrepute . he had to_speak .

he had felt himself go pale, and a kind of rigour had affected his respiration as he delivered himself . he had_been sitting on one_of_the chairs by_the window-- the new guest had taken possession of_the arm- chair . he turned his head ." sun day ! " he_said over the collar, in_the voice of one who warns ." sun day ! " what people call a" nasty" tone, it_was .

Jennie had kept on playing, but his wife, who was looking through some music that was piled on_the top of_the piano, had stared at him ." what's wrong now ? " she said; " can't people enjoy themselves ? "

"I don't mind rational 'njoyment, at all," said little Coombes, " but I ain't a- going to_have week- day tunes playing on a Sunday in_this house ."

" what's wrong with my playing now ? " said Jennie, stopping and twirling round on_the music- stool with a monstrous rustle of flounces .

Coombes saw it_was going to_be a row, and opened too vigorously, as is common with your timid, nervous men all the world over ." steady on with_that music- stool ! " said he; " it ain't made for 'eavy-weights ."

" never you mind about weights," said Jennie, incensed ." what_was you saying behind my back about_my playing ? "

" surely you don't ' old with not having a bit of music on a Sunday, Mr Coombes ? " said the new guest, leaning back in_the arm- chair, blowing a cloud of cigarette smoke and smiling in a kind of pitying way . and simultaneously his wife said something to Jennie about " never mind ' im . you go on, Jinny ."

" I_do," said Mr Coombes, addressing the new guest .

" may I arst why ? " said the new guest, evidently enjoying both his cigarette and_the prospect of an argument . he_was, by- the- by, a lank young man, very stylishly dressed in bright drab, with a white cravat and a pearl and silver pin . it had_been better taste to_come in a black coat, Mr Coombes thought .

" because," began Mr Coombes, " it don't suit me .I'm a business man .I 'ave to study my connection . rational 'njoyment--"

" his connection ! " said Mrs Coombes scornfully ." that's what he's always a-saying . we got to do_this, and we got to do_that--"

" if_you don't mean to study my connection," said Mr Coombes, " what did you marry me for ? "

"I wonder," said Jennie, and turned back to_the piano .

"I never saw such a man as_you," said Mrs Coombes .

" you've altered all round since we were married . before--"

then Jennie began at_the turn, turn, turn again .

" look here ! " said Mr Coombes, driven at last to revolt, standing up and raising his voice ."I tell you I won't have that ." the frock- coat heaved with_his indignation .

" no VI'lence, now," said the long young man in drab, sitting up .

" who the juice are_you ? " said Mr Coombes fiercely .

whereupon they all began talking at once . the new guest said he_was Jennie's " intended," and meant to protect her, and Mr Coombes said he_was welcome to_do_so anywhere but in_his ( Mr Coombes') house; and Mrs Coombes said he ought_to_be ashamed of insulting his guests, and ( as I_have already mentioned) that he_was getting a regular little grub; and_the end was, that Mr Coombes ordered his visitors out_of_the house, and_they wouldn't go, and so he_said he_would go himself . with_his face burning and tears of excitement in_his eyes, he went into_the passage, and as he struggled with_his overcoat-- his frock- coat sleeves got concertinaed up his arm-- and gave a brush at his silk hat, Jennie began again at_the piano, and strummed him insultingly out_of_the house . turn, turn, turn . he slammed the shop door so that_the house quivered . that, briefly, was_the immediate making of_his mood . you_will perhaps begin to understand his disgust with existence .

as he walked along the muddy path under the firs,-- it_was late October, and_the ditches and heaps of fir needles were gorgeous with clumps of fungi,-- he recapitulated the melancholy history of_his marriage . it_was brief and commonplace enough . he now perceived with sufficient clearness that his wife had married him out of a natural curiosity and in_order to escape from her worrying, laborious, and uncertain life in_the workroom; and, like the majority of her class, she was far too stupid to realise that_it_was her duty to co-operate with_him in_his business . she was greedy of enjoyment, loquacious, and socially- minded, and evidently disappointed to_find the restraints of poverty still hanging about her . his worries exasperated her, and_the slightest attempt to control her proceedings resulted in a charge of "grumbling ." why couldn't he be nice-- as he used to_be ? and Coombes was such a harmless little man, too, nourished mentally on self-Help_, and with ameagre ambition of self- denial and competition, that was to end in a" sufficiency ." then Jennie came in as a female Mephistopheles, agabbling chronicle of "fellers," and was always wanting his wife to_go to theatres, and " all that ." and in_addition were aunts of_his wife, and cousins ( male and female) to eat up capital, insult him personally, upset business arrangements, annoy good customers, and generally blight his life . it_was not the first occasion by many that Mr Coombes had fled his home in wrath and indignation, and something like fear, vowing furiously and even aloud that he wouldn't stand it, and so frothing away his energy along the line of least resistance . but never before had he been quite so sick of life as on_this particular Sunday afternoon . the Sunday dinner may_have had its share in_his despair-- and_the greyness of_the sky . perhaps, too, he_was beginning to realise his unendurable frustration as a business man as_the consequence of_his marriage . presently bankruptcy, and after_that---- perhaps she might_have reason to repent when it_was too late . and destiny, as I_have already intimated, had planted the path through_the wood with evil-smelling fungi, thickly and variously planted it, not_only on_the right side, but on_the left .

a small shopman is in_such a melancholy position, if his wife turns out a disloyal partner . his capital is all tied up in_his business, and to leave her means to join the unemployed in some strange part of_the earth . the luxuries of divorce are beyond him altogether . so that_the good old tradition of marriage for better or worse holds inexorably for him, and things work up_to tragic culminations .Bricklayers kick their wives to death, and dukes betray theirs; but it_is among_the small clerks and shopkeepers nowadays that_it comes most often to acutting of throats . under the circumstances it_is_not so very remarkable-- and you_must take it as charitably as_you_can-- that_the mind of Mr Coombes ran for a while on some such glorious close to_his disappointed hopes, and_that he thought of razors, pistols, bread- knives, and touching letters to_the coroner denouncing his enemies by name, and praying piously for forgiveness . after a time his fierceness gave way to melancholia . he had_been married in_this very overcoat, in_his first and only frock- coat that was buttoned up beneath it . he began to recall their courting along_this very walk, his years of penurious saving to_get capital, and_the bright hopefulness of_his marrying days . for_it all to work out like this ! was there no sympathetic ruler anywhere in_the_world ? he reverted to death as a topic .

he thought of_the canal he had just crossed, and doubted whether he shouldn't stand with_his head out, even in_the middle, and it_was while drowning was in_his mind that_the purple pileus caught his eye . he looked at it mechanically for a moment, and stopped and stooped towards it to pick it up, under the impression that_it_was some such small leather object as a purse . then he_saw that_it_was the purple top of a fungus, a peculiarly poisonous- looking purple: slimy, shiny, and emitting a sour odour . he hesitated with_his hand an inch or so from_it, and_the thought of poison crossed his mind . with_that he picked the thing, and stood up again with it in_his hand .

the odour was certainly strong-- acrid, but by no means disgusting . he broke off a piece, and_the fresh surface was a creamy white, that changed like magic in_the space of ten seconds to a yellowish- green colour . it_was even an inviting- looking change . he broke off two other pieces to_see it repeated . they were wonderful things these fungi, thought Mr Coombes, and all of_them the deadliest poisons, as his father had often told him . deadly poisons !

there_is no time like the present for a rash resolve . why_not here and now ? thought Mr Coombes . he tasted a little piece, a very little piece indeed--a mere crumb . it_was so pungent that he almost spat it out again, then merely hot and full-flavoured: a kind of German mustard with a touch of horse- radish and-- well, mushroom . he swallowed it in_the excitement of_the moment . did he like it or did he not ? his mind was curiously careless . he_would try another bit . it really wasn't bad-- it_was good . he forgot his troubles in_the interest of_the immediate moment .Playing with death it_was . he_took another bite, and then deliberately finished a mouthful .a curious, tingling sensation began in_his finger-tips and toes . his pulse began to move faster . the blood in_his ears sounded like a mill- race ." try bi' more," said Mr Coombes . he turned and looked about him, and found his feet unsteady . he_saw, and struggled towards, a little patch of purple a dozen yards away ."Jol' goo' stuff," said Mr Coombes ."E--lomore ye' ." he pitched forward and fell on_his face, his hands outstretched towards the cluster of pilei . but he_did_not eat any more of_them . he forgot forthwith .

he rolled over and sat up with a look of astonishment on_his face . his carefully brushed silk hat had rolled away towards the ditch . he pressed his hand to_his brow . something had happened, but he_could_not rightly determine what it_was .Anyhow, he_was no longer dull-- he_felt bright, cheerful . and_his throat was afire . he laughed in_the sudden gaiety of_his heart . had he been dull ? he_did_not know; but at any rate he_would_be dull no longer . he got up and stood unsteadily, regarding the universe with an agreeable smile . he began to remember . he_could_not remember very_well, because of a steam roundabout that was beginning in_his head . and he_knew he had_been disagreeable at home, just because they wanted to_be happy . they were quite right; life should_be as gay as possible . he_would go home and make it up, and reassure them . and why_not take some_of_this delightful toadstool with_him, for_them to eat ? ahatful, no less . some_of_those red ones with white spots as_well, and a few yellow . he had_been a dull dog, an enemy to merriment; he_would make up for_it . it would_be gay to_turn his coat-sleeves inside out, and stick some yellow gorse into his waistcoat pockets . then home--singing--- for a jolly evening .

after_the departure of Mr Coombes, Jennie discontinued playing, and turned round on_the music- stool again ." what a fuss about nothing ! " said Jennie .

" you_see, Mr Clarence, what I've

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