The Tragedy of Pudd'nhead Wilson by Mark Twain
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always, of_course, but often-- but I haven't much confidence in myself when it comes to reading the future . I_am talking as_if palmistry was a daily study with me, but that_is_not so .I haven't examined half a dozen hands in_the last half dozen years; you_see, the people got to joking about_it, and I stopped to let the talk die down .I'll tell you what we'll do, count Luigi: I'll make a try at your past, and if I_have any success there-- no, on_the whole, I'll let the future alone; that's really the affair of an expert ."

he_took Luigi's hand .Tom said:

" wait--don't look yet, Dave ! count Luigi, here's paper and pencil . set down that thing that you said was_the most striking one that was foretold to_you, and happened less_than a year afterward, and give it to_me so I_can_see if Dave finds it in your hand ."

Luigi wrote a line privately, and folded up the piece of paper, and handed it to Tom, saying:

"I'll tell you when to look at it, if he finds it ."

Wilson began to study Luigi's palm, tracing life lines, heart lines, head lines, and so on, and noting carefully their relations with_the cobweb of finer and more delicate marks and lines that enmeshed them on all sides; he_felt of_the fleshy cushion at_the base of_the thumb and noted its shape; he_felt of_the fleshy side of_the hand between_the wrist and_the base of_the little finger and noted its shape also; he painstakingly examined the fingers, observing their form, proportions, and natural manner of disposing themselves when in repose . all this process was watched by_the three spectators with absorbing interest, their heads bent together over Luigi's palm, and nobody disturbing the stillness with a word . Wilson now entered upon a close survey of_the palm again, and_his revelations began .

he mapped out Luigi's character and disposition, his tastes, aversions, proclivities, ambitions, and eccentricities in a way which sometimes made Luigi wince and_the others laugh, but both twins declared that_the chart was artistically drawn and was correct .

next, Wilson took up Luigi' history . he proceeded cautiously and with hesitation now, moving his finger slowly along the great lines of_the palm, and now_and_then halting it at a" star" or some such landmark, and examining that neighborhood minutely . he proclaimed one_or_two past events, Luigi confirmed his correctness, and_the search went on . presently Wilson glanced up suddenly with a surprised expression .

" here_is a record of an incident which you_would perhaps not wish me to--"

" bring it out," said Luigi, good-naturedly ."I promise you sha'n't embarrass me ."

but Wilson still hesitated, and did_not seem quite to_know what to_do . then he_said:

" i_think it_is too delicate a matter to-- to--I believe i_would rather write it or whisper it to_you, and let you decide for_yourself whether you_want it talked out or not ."

" that_will answer," said Luigi ." write it ."

Wilson wrote something on a slip of paper and handed it to Luigi, who read it to himself and said to Tom:

" unfold your slip and read it, Mr Driscoll ."

Tom said:

"' it_was prophesied that i_would kill a man . it came true before_the year was out .'"

Tom added, " great Scott ! "

Luigi handed Wilson's paper to Tom, and said:

" now read this_one ."

Tom read:

"' you_have killed someone, but whether man, woman, or child, I_do_not make out .'"

" Caesar's ghost ! " commented Tom, with astonishment ." it beats anything that was ever heard of ! why, a man's own hand is his deadliest enemy ! just think of_that--a man's own hand keeps a record of_the deepest and fatalest secrets of_his life, and_is treacherously ready to expose himself to any black- magic stranger that comes along . but what do_you let a person look at your hand for, with_that awful thing printed on_it ? "

"Oh," said Luigi, reposefully, "I don't mind it .I killed the man for good reasons, and I don't regret it ."

" what were the reasons ? "

" well, he_needed killing ."

"I'll tell you why he_did it, since he won't say himself," said Angelo, warmly ." he_did it to save my life, that's what he_did it for . so it_was a noble act, and not a thing to_be hid in_the dark ."

" so it_was, so it_was," said Wilson ." to_do such a thing to save a brother's life is a great and fine action ."

" now come," said Luigi, " it_is very pleasant to hear you say these things, but for unselfishness, or heroism, or magnanimity, the circumstances won't stand scrutiny . you overlook one detail; suppose I hadn't saved Angelo's life, what would_have become of_mine ? if I had let the man kill him, wouldn't he have killed me, too ? I saved my own life, you_see ."

" yes, that_is your way of talking," said Angelo, " but I_know you-- I don't believe you thought of yourself at all .I keep that weapon yet that Luigi killed the man with, and I'll show it to_you sometime . that incident makes it interesting, and it had a history before it came into Luigi's hands which adds to its interest . it_was given to Luigi by a great Indian prince, the Gaikowar of Baroda, and it had_been in_his family two_or_three centuries . it killed a good_many disagreeable people who troubled the hearthstone at one_time or another . it isn't much too look at, except it isn't shaped like other knives, or dirks, or whatever it may_be called-- here, I'll draw it for_you ." he_took a sheet of paper and made a rapid sketch ." there it_is--a broad and murderous blade, with edges like a razor for sharpness . the devices engraved on_it are the ciphers or names of_its long line of possessors--I had Luigi's name added in Roman letters myself with_our coat of arms, as you_see . you notice what a curious handle the thing has . it_is solid ivory, polished like a mirror, and_is four or five inches long-- round, and as thick as a large man's wrist, with_the end squared off flat, for your thumb to rest on; for_you grasp it, with your thumb resting on_the blunt end-- so-- and lift it along and strike downward . the Gaikowar showed us how the thing was_done when he_gave it to Luigi, and before_that night was ended, Luigi had used the knife, and_the Gaikowar was a man short by reason of it . the sheath is magnificently ornamented with gems of great value . you_will_find asheath more worth looking at than_the knife itself, of_course ."

Tom said to himself:

" it's lucky I_came here . i_would_have sold that knife for a song; I supposed the jewels were glass ."

" but go on; don't stop," said Wilson ." our curiosity is up now, to hear about_the homicide . tell us about_that ."

" well, briefly, the knife was to blame for_that, all around .a native servant slipped into our room in_the palace in_the night, to kill us and steal the knife on account of_the fortune encrusted on its sheath, without a doubt .Luigi had it under his pillow; we were in bed together . there_was a dim night- light burning . i_was asleep, but Luigi was awake, and he thought he detected a vague form nearing the bed . he slipped the knife out_of_the sheath and was ready and unembarrassed by hampering bedclothes, for_the weather was hot and we hadn't any . suddenly that native rose at_the bedside, and bent over me with_his right hand lifted and adirk in_it aimed at my throat; but Luigi grabbed his wrist, pulled him downward, and drove his own knife into_the man's neck . that_is_the whole story ."

Wilson and Tom drew deep breaths, and after some general chat about_the tragedy, Pudd'nhead said, taking Tom's hand:

" now, Tom, I've never had a look at your palms, as it happens; perhaps you've got some little questionable privacies that need--hel-lo ! "

Tom had snatched away his hand, and was looking a good_deal confused .

" why, he's blushing ! " said Luigi .

Tom darted an ugly look at him, and said sharply:

" well, if I_am, it ain't because I'm a murderer ! " Luigi's dark face flushed, but before he_could speak or move, Tom added with anxious haste: "Oh, I beg a thousand pardons .I didn't mean that; it_was out before i_thought, and I'm very, very sorry-- you_must forgive me ! "

Wilson came to_the rescue, and smoothed things down as_well as he_could; and in_fact was entirely successful as far as_the twins were concerned, for they felt sorrier for_the affront put upon him by his guest's outburst of ill manners than for_the insult offered to Luigi . but the success was not so pronounced with_the offender .Tom tried to seem at his ease, and he went through_the motions fairly well, but at bottom he_felt resentful toward all the three witnesses of_his exhibition; in_fact, he_felt so annoyed at them for having witnessed it and noticed it that he almost forgot to_feel annoyed at himself for placing it before them . however, something presently happened which made him almost comfortable, and brought him nearly back to a state of charity and friendliness . this_was a little spat between_the twins; not much of a spat, but still a spat; and before_they got far with it, they were in adecided condition of irritation while pretending to_be actuated by more respectable motives . by his help the fire got warmed up_to_the blazing point, and he_might_have had the happiness of seeing the flames show up in another moment, but for_the interruption of a knock on_the door-- an interruption which fretted him as_much as it gratified Wilson . Wilson opened the door .

the visitor was a good-natured, ignorant, energetic middle- aged Irishman named John Buckstone, who was a great politician in a small way, and always took a large share in public matters of every sort . one_of_the town's chief excitements, just now, was over the matter of rum . there_was a strong rum party and a strong anti- rum party .Buckstone was training with_the rum party, and he had_been sent to hunt up the twins and invite them to attend a mass meeting of_that faction . he delivered his errand, and said the clans were already gathering in_the big hall over the market house .Luigi accepted the invitation cordially .Angelo less cordially, since he disliked crowds, and did_not drink the powerful intoxicants of America . in_fact, he_was even a teetotaler sometimes-- when it_was judicious to_be one .

the twins left with Buckstone, and Tom Driscoll joined the company with_them uninvited .

in_the distance, one could_see a long wavering line of torches drifting down the main street, and could hear the throbbing of_the bass drum, the clash of cymbals, the squeaking of a fife or two, and_the faint roar of remote hurrahs . the tail end of_this procession was climbing the market house stairs when_the twins arrived in its neighborhood; when_they reached the hall, it_was full of people, torches, smoke, noise, and enthusiasm . they were conducted to_the platform by Buckstone--Tom Driscoll still following-- and were delivered to_the chairman in_the midst of a prodigious explosion of welcome . when_the noise had moderated a little, the chair proposed that " our illustrious guests be at once elected, by complimentary acclamation, to membership in_our ever- glorious organization, the paradise of_the free and_the perdition of_the slave ."

this eloquent discharge opened the floodgates of enthusiasm again, and_the election was carried with thundering unanimity . then arose a storm of cries:

" wet them down ! wet them down ! give them a drink ! "

Glasses of whisky were handed to_the twins .Luigi waves his aloft, then brought it to_his lips; but Angelo set his down . there_was another storm of cries .

" what's the matter with_the other one ? " " what_is the blond one going back on us for ? " " explain ! explain ! "

the chairman inquired, and then reported:

" we_have_made an unfortunate mistake, gentlemen . I_find that_the count Angelo Capello is opposed to our creed-- is a teetotaler, in_fact, and was not intending to apply for membership with_us . he desires that we reconsider the vote by_which he_was elected . what_is the pleasure of_the house ? "

there_was a general burst of laughter, plentifully accented with whistlings and catcalls, but the energetic use of_the gavel presently restored something like order . then a man spoke from_the crowd, and said that while he_was very sorry that_the mistake had_been made, it would_not_be possible to rectify it at_the present meeting .According to_the bylaws, it must go over to_the next regular meeting for action . he_would_not offer a motion, as none was required . he desired to apologize to_the gentlemen in_the name of_the house, and begged to assure him that as far as it might lie in_the power of_the Sons of liberty, his temporary membership in_the order would_be made pleasant to him .

this speech was received with great applause, mixed with cries of:

" that's the talk ! " he's a good fellow, anyway, if he_is a teetotaler ! " " drink his health ! " " give him arouser, and no heeltaps ! "

Glasses were handed around, and everybody on_the platform drank Angelo's health, while the house bellowed forth in song:

for he's a jolly good fel- low, for he's a jolly good fel- low, for he's a jolly good fe-el- low, which nobody can deny .

Tom Driscoll drank . it_was his second glass, for he had drunk Angelo's the moment that Angelo had set it down . the two drinks made him very merry-- almost idiotically so, and he began to_take a most lively and prominent part in_the proceedings, particularly in_the music and catcalls and side remarks .

the chairman was still standing at_the front, the twins at his side . the extraordinarily close resemblance of_the brothers to

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