our precious lunatic

by mark twain

[ from_the buffalo express, Saturday, may 14, 1870 .]

New_York, may 10 .

the Richardson-McFarland jury had_been out one hour and fifty minutes .a breathless silence brooded over court and auditory--a silence and a stillness so absolute, notwithstanding the vast multitude of human beings packed together there, that when some one far away among_the throng under the northeast balcony cleared his throat with a smothered little cough it startled everybody uncomfortably, so distinctly did it grate upon_the pulseless air . at_that imposing moment the bang of a door was heard, then the shuffle of approaching feet, and then a sort of surging and swaying disorder among_the heads at_the entrance from_the jury- room told them that_the Twelve were coming . presently all was silent again, and_the foreman of_the jury rose and said:

" your honor and gentleman: we, the jury charged with_the duty of determining whether the prisoner at_the bar, Daniel McFarland, has_been guilty of murder, in taking by surprise an unarmed man and shooting him to death, or whether the prisoner is afflicted with a sad but irresponsible insanity which at times can_be cheered only by violent entertainment with firearms, do find as follows, namely:

" that_the prisoner, Daniel McFarland, is insane as above described . because:

"1 . his great grandfather's stepfather was tainted with insanity, and frequently killed people who were distasteful to him . hence, insanity is hereditary in_the family .

"2 . for nine years the prisoner at_the bar did_not adequately support his family . strong circumstantial evidence of insanity .

"3 . for nine years he_made of_his home, as a general thing, a poor- house; sometimes ( but very rarely) a cheery, happy habitation; frequently the den of abeery, drivelling, stupefied animal; but never, as far as ascertained, the abiding place of a gentleman . these be evidences of insanity .

"4 . he once took his young unmarried sister- in- law to_the museum; while there his hereditary insanity came upon him to such a degree that he hiccupped and staggered; and afterward, on_the way home, even made love to_the young girl he_was protecting . these are the acts of a person not in_his right mind .

"5 . for a good while his sufferings were so great that he had to submit to_the inconvenience of having his wife give public readings for_the family support; and at times, when he handed these shameful earnings to_the barkeeper, his haughty soul was so torn with anguish that he_could hardly stand without leaning against something . at such times he has_been known to shed tears into his sustenance till it diluted to utter inefficiency . inattention of_this nature is_not the act of a democrat unafflicted in mind .

"6 . he never spared expense in making his wife comfortable during her occasional confinements . her father is able to testify to_this . there_was always an element of unsoundness about_the prisoner's generosities that_is very suggestive at_this_time and before this court .

"7 . two years_ago the prisoner came fearlessly up behind Richardson in_the dark, and shot him in_the leg . the prisoner's brave and protracted Defiance of an adversity that for years had left him little to depend upon for support but a wife who sometimes earned scarcely anything for weeks at_a_time, is evidence that he_would_have appeared in front of Richardson and shot him in_the stomach if he had_not_been insane at_the_time of_the shooting .

"8 .Fourteen months_ago the prisoner told Archibald smith that he_was going to kill Richardson . this_is insanity .

"9 .Twelve months_ago he_told Marshall P .Jones that he_was going to kill Richardson . insanity .

"10 .Nine months_ago he_was lurking about Richardson's home in New_Jersey, and said he_was going to kill Richardson . insanity .

"11 .Seven months_ago he showed a pistol to Seth brown and said that that was for Richardson . he_said brown testified that at_that_time it seemed plain that something was_the matter with McFarland, for he crossed the street diagonally nine times in fifty yards, apparently without any settled reason for doing_so, and finally fell in_the gutter and went to sleep . he remarked at_the_time that McFarland acted strange--believed he_was insane . upon hearing brown's evidence, John W .Galen, M .D ., affirmed at once that McFarland was insane .

"12 .Five months_ago, McFarland showed his customary pistol, in_his customary way, to_his bed- fellow, Charles a. Dana, and told him he_was going to kill Richardson the first time an opportunity offered . evidence of insanity .

"13 .Five months and two weeks_ago McFarland asked John Morgan the time of day, and turned and walked rapidly away without waiting for an answer . almost indubitable evidence of insanity . and--

"14 . it_is remarkable that exactly one week after_this circumstance, the prisoner, Daniel McFarland, confronted Albert D .Richardson suddenly and without warning, and shot him dead . this_is manifest insanity . everything we_know of_the prisoner goes to show that if he had_been sane at_the_time, he_would_have shot his victim from behind .

"15 . there_is an absolutely overwhelming mass of testimony to show that an hour before_the shooting, McFarland was anxious and uneasy, and_that five minutes after it he_was EXCITED . thus the accumulating conjectures and evidences of insanity culminate in_this sublime and unimpeachable proof of it . therefore--

" your honor and gentlemen-- we the jury pronounce the said Daniel McFarland innocent of murder, but calamitously insane ."

the scene that ensued almost defies description .Hats, handkerchiefs and bonnets were frantically waved above the massed heads in_the courtroom, and three tremendous cheers and a tiger told where the sympathies of_the court and people were . then a hundred pursed lips were advanced to kiss the liberated prisoner, and many a hand thrust out to_give him a congratulatory shake-- but presto ! with a maniac's own quickness and a maniac's own fury the lunatic assassin of Richardson fell upon his friends with teeth and nails, boots and office furniture, and_the amazing rapidity with_which he broke heads and limbs, and rent and sundered bodies, till nearly a hundred citizens were reduced to mere quivering heaps of fleshy odds and ends and crimson rags, was like nothing in_this world but the exultant frenzy of aplunging, tearing, roaring devil of a steam machine when it snatches a human being and spins him and whirls him till he shreds away to nothingness like a"Four o'clock" before_the breath of a child .

the destruction was awful . it_is said that within_the space of eight minutes McFarland killed and crippled some six score persons and tore down a large portion of_the city hall building, carrying away and casting into broadway six or seven marble columns fifty-four feet long and weighing nearly two tons each . but he_was finally captured and sent in chains to_the lunatic asylum for life .

( by late telegrams it appears that_this_is a mistake .-- editor express .)

but the really curious part of_this whole matter is yet to_be told . and_that is, that McFarland's most intimate friends believe that_the very next_time that_it ever occurred to him that_the insanity plea was not amere politic pretense, was when_the verdict came in . they_think that_the startling thought burst upon him then, that if twelve good and true men, able to comprehend all the baseness of perjury, proclaimed under oath that he_was a lunatic, there_was no gainsaying such evidence and_that he unquestionably was insane !

possibly that was really the way of it . it_is dreadful to_think that maybe the most awful calamity that_can befall a man, namely, loss of reason, was precipitated upon_this poor prisoner's head by a jury that could_have hanged him instead, and so done him a mercy and_his country a service .

postscript- later

may 11-- I_do_not expect anybody to_believe so astounding a thing, and yet it_is_the solemn truth that instead of instantly sending the dangerous lunatic to_the insane asylum ( which I naturally supposed they_would do, and so I prematurely said they had) the court has actually set him at liberty . comment is unnecessary .M .T .