Oz 07: The Patchwork Girl of Oz by L. Frank Baum
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Dorothy ." please tell us who you_are ."

"I'm Hip hopper--Hip hopper, the champion ."

" champion what ? " she asked in surprise .

" champion wrestler .I'm a very strong man, and_that ferocious animal which you_are so kindly holding is_the first living thing that has ever conquered me ."

" and you_are a hopper ? " she continued .

" yes . my people live in a great city not far from here . would you like to visit it ? "

"I'm not sure," she said with hesitation ." have_you any dark wells in your city ? "

" i_think not . we_have wells, you_know, but they're all well lighted, and a well lighted well cannot well be a dark well . but there_may_be such a thing as a very dark well in_the Horner country, which_is a black spot on_the face of_the earth ."

" where is_the Horner country ? " Ojo inquired .

" the other side of_the mountain . there's a fence between_the hopper country and_the Horner country, and a gate in_the fence; but you_can't pass through just now, because we_are at war with_the Horners ."

" that's too bad," said the Scarecrow ." what seems_to_be the trouble ? "

" why, one_of_them made a very insulting remark about_my people . he_said we were lacking in understanding, because we had only_one leg to a person . I_can't see that legs have anything to_do with understanding things . the Horners each have two legs, just as_you_have . that's one leg too many, it seems to_me ."

" no," declared Dorothy, " it's just the right number ."

" you don't need them," argued the hopper, obstinately ." you've only_one head, and one body, and one nose and mouth . two legs are quite unnecessary, and_they spoil one's shape ."

" but how can_you walk, with only_one leg ? " asked Ojo .

" walk ! who wants to walk ? " exclaimed the man ."Walking is a terribly awkward way to travel .I hop, and so do all my people . it's so_much more graceful and agreeable than walking ."

"I don't agree with_you," said the Scarecrow ." but tell me, is_there any_way to_get to_the Horner country without going through_the city of_the Hoppers ? "

" yes; there_is another path from_the rocky lowlands, outside the mountain, that leads straight to_the entrance of_the Horner country . but it's a long way around, so you'd better come with me . perhaps they_will allow you to_go through_the gate; but we expect to conquer them this afternoon, if_we get time, and then you_may go and come as_you please ."

they thought it best to take_the hopper's advice, and asked him to lead the way . this he_did in a series of hops, and he moved so swiftly in_this strange manner that_those with two legs had to run to_keep up with_him .

chapter Twenty- two

the Joking Horners

it_was not long before_they left the passage and came to a great cave, so high that_it must_have reached nearly to_the top of_the mountain within which it lay . it_was a magnificent cave, illumined by_the soft, invisible light, so_that everything in_it could_be plainly seen . the walls were of polished marble, white with veins of delicate colors running through it, and_the roof was arched and fantastic and beautiful .

built beneath this vast dome was a pretty village-- not very large, for there seemed not more than fifty houses altogether-- and_the dwellings were of marble and artistically designed . no grass nor flowers nor trees grew in_this cave, so the yards surrounding the houses carved in designs both were smooth and bare and had low walls around them to mark their boundaries .

in_the streets and_the yards of_the houses were many people all having one leg growing below their bodies and all hopping here and there whenever they moved . even the children stood firmly upon their single legs and never lost their balance .

" all hail, champion ! " cried a man in_the first group of Hoppers they met; " whom have_you captured ? "

" no one," replied the champion in agloomy voice; " these strangers have captured me ."

" then," said another, " we_will rescue you, and capture them, for we_are greater in number ."

" no," answered the champion, " I_can't allow it .I've surrendered, and it isn't polite to capture those you've surrendered to ."

" never mind that," said Dorothy ." we_will give_you your liberty and set you free ."

" really ? " asked the champion in joyous tones .

" yes," said the little girl; " your people may need you to help conquer the Horners ."

at_this all the Hoppers looked downcast and sad . several more had joined the group by_this_time and quite a crowd of curious men, women and children surrounded the strangers .

" this war with_our neighbors is a terrible thing," remarked one_of_the women ." some one is almost sure to_get hurt ."

" why do_you say that, madam ? " inquired the Scarecrow .

" because the horns of_our enemies are sharp, and in battle they_will try to stick those horns into our warriors," she replied .

" how_many horns do_the Horners have ? " asked Dorothy .

" each has one horn in_the center of_his forehead," was_the answer .

"Oh, then they're unicorns," declared the Scarecrow .

" no; they're Horners . we never go to war with_them if_we_can help it, on account of_their dangerous horns; but this insult was so great and so unprovoked that_our brave men decided to fight, in_order_to_be revenged," said the woman .

" what weapons do_you fight with ? " the Scarecrow asked .

" we_have no weapons," explained the champion ." whenever we fight the Horners, our plan is to push them back, for_our arms are longer than theirs ."

" then you_are better armed," said Scraps .

" yes; but they_have those terrible horns, and unless we_are careful they prick us with_the points," returned the champion with a shudder ." that makes a war with_them dangerous, and a dangerous war cannot_be a pleasant one ."

" I_see very clearly," remarked the Scarecrow, " that you_are going to_have trouble in conquering those Horners-- unless we help_you ."

"Oh ! " cried the Hoppers in a chorus; " can_you help_us ? please do ! we_will_be greatly obliged ! it would please us very_much ! " and by_these exclamations the Scarecrow knew that his speech had met with favor .

" how far is_it to_the Horner country ? " he asked .

" why, it's just the other side of_the fence," they answered, and_the champion added:

" come with me, please, and I'll show you the Horners ."

so they followed the champion and several others through_the streets and just beyond the village came to a very high picket fence, built all of marble, which seemed to divide the great cave into two equal parts .

but the part inhabited by_the Horners was in no way as grand in appearance as_that of_the Hoppers . instead of being marble, the walls and roof were of dull gray rock and_the square houses were plainly made of_the same material . but in extent the city was much larger than that of_the Hoppers and_the streets were thronged with numerous people who busied themselves in various ways .

looking through_the open pickets of_the fence our friends watched the Horners, who did_not know they were being watched by strangers, and found them very unusual in appearance . they were little folks in size and had bodies round as balls and short legs and arms . their heads were round, too, and_they had long, pointed ears and a horn set in_the center of_the forehead . the horns did_not seem very terrible, for they were_not more than six inches long; but they were ivory white and sharp pointed, and no wonder the Hoppers feared them .

the skins of_the Horners were light brown, but they wore snow- white robes and were bare- footed . Dorothy thought the most striking thing about_them was their hair, which grew in three distinct colors on each and every head-- red, yellow and green . the red was at_the bottom and sometimes hung over their eyes; then came a broad circle of yellow and_the green was at_the top and formed a brush- shaped top- knot .

none_of_the Horners was yet aware of_the presence of strangers, who watched the little brown people for a time and then went to_the big gate in_the center of_the dividing fence . it_was locked on both sides and over the latch was a sign reading:

" war is declared"

" can't we go through ? " asked Dorothy .

" not now," answered the champion .

" i_think," said the Scarecrow, " that if I_could talk with those Horners they_would apologize to_you, and then there would_be no need to fight ."

" can't you talk from_this side ? " asked the champion .

" not so_well," replied the Scarecrow ." do_you suppose you_could throw me over that fence ? it_is high, but I_am very light ."

" we_can try it," said the hopper ." I_am perhaps the strongest man in my country, so I'll undertake to_do_the throwing . but I won't promise you_will land on_your feet ."

" no matter about_that," returned the Scarecrow ." just toss me over and I'll be satisfied ."

so the champion picked up the Scarecrow and balanced him a moment, to_see how_much he weighed, and then with all his strength tossed him high into_the air .

perhaps if_the Scarecrow had_been a trifle heavier he would_have_been easier to throw and would_have gone a greater distance; but, as it_was, instead of going over the fence he landed just on top of it, and one_of_the sharp pickets caught him in_the middle of_his back and held him fast prisoner . had he been face downward the Scarecrow might_have managed to free himself, but lying on_his back on_the picket his hands waved in_the air of_the Horner country while his feet kicked the air of_the hopper country; so there he_was .

" are_you hurt ? " called the patchwork girl anxiously .

" course not," said Dorothy ." but if he wiggles that way he_may tear his clothes . how can we get him down, Mr champion ? "

the champion shook his head .

"I don't know," he confessed ." if he_could scare Horners as_well as he_does crows, it might_be a good idea to leave him there ."

" this_is terrible," said Ojo, almost ready to cry ."I s' pose it's because I_am Ojo the unlucky that everyone who tries to help me gets into trouble ."

" you_are lucky to_have anyone to help_you," declared Dorothy ." but don't worry . we'll rescue the Scarecrow somehow ."

" I_know how," announced Scraps ." here, Mr champion; just throw me up_to_the Scarecrow .I'm nearly as light as he_is, and when I'm on top the fence I'll pull our friend off the picket and toss him down to_you ."

" all right," said the champion, and he picked up the patchwork girl and threw her in_the same manner he had the Scarecrow . he_must_have used more strength this_time, however, for Scraps sailed far over the top of_the fence and, without being able to grab the Scarecrow at all, tumbled to_the ground in_the Horner country, where her stuffed body knocked over two men and a woman and made a crowd that had collected there run like rabbits to_get away from her .

Seeing the next moment that she was harmless, the people slowly returned and gathered around the patchwork girl, regarding her with astonishment . one_of_them wore a jeweled star in_his hair, just above his horn, and this seemed a person of importance . he spoke for_the rest of_his people, who treated him with great respect .

" who_are you, unknown being ? " he asked .

"Scraps," she said, rising to her feet and patting her cotton wadding smooth where it had bunched up .

" and where did you come from ? " he continued .

" over the fence .Don't be silly . there's no other place I_could_have come from," she replied .

he looked at her thoughtfully .

" you_are_not a hopper," said he, " for you_have two legs . they're not very_well shaped, but they_are two in number . and_that strange creature on top the fence-- why doesn't he stop kicking ? -- must_be your brother, or father, or son, for he also has two legs ."

" you_must_have been to visit the wise donkey," said Scraps, laughing so merrily that_the crowd smiled with her, in sympathy ." but that reminds me, captain-- or king--"

" I_am chief of_the Horners, and my name is Jak ."

" of_course; little jack Horner; I_might_have known it . but the reason I volplaned over the fence was so I_could_have a talk with_you about_the Hoppers ."

" what about_the Hoppers ? " asked the chief, frowning .

" you've insulted them, and you'd better beg their pardon," said Scraps ." if_you don't, they'll probably hop over here and conquer you ."

" we're not afraid-- as long as_the gate is locked," declared the chief ." and we didn't insult them at all . one of us made a joke that_the stupid Hoppers couldn't see ."

the chief smiled as he_said this and_the smile made his face look quite jolly .

" what_was the joke ? " asked Scraps .

"A Horner said they_have less understanding than we, because they've only_one leg .Ha, ha ! you_see the point, don't you ? if_you stand on_your legs, and your legs are under you, then--ha, ha, ha ! -- then your legs are your under-standing .Hee, hee, hee ! Ho, ho ! my, but that's a fine joke . and_the stupid Hoppers couldn't see it ! they couldn't see that with only_one leg they_must_have less under-standing than we who_have two legs .Ha, ha, ha ! Hee, hee ! Ho, ho ! " the chief wiped the tears of laughter from_his eyes with_the bottom hem of_his white robe, and all the other Horners wiped their eyes on their robes, for they had laughed just as heartily as their chief at_the absurd joke .

" then," said Scraps, " their understanding of_the understanding you meant led to_the misunderstanding ."

" exactly; and so there's no need for_us to apologize," returned the chief .

" no need for an apology, perhaps, but much need for an explanation," said Scraps decidedly ." you don't want

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