Oz 07: The Patchwork Girl of Oz by L. Frank Baum
Section [1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | 16 | 17 | 18 | 19 | 20 | 21 | 22 | 23 | 24]
of me ."

" there's some sense in_that," said Scraps, nodding her queer head in approval ." come on, and let's get to_the emerald city as_soon_as_possible ." with_this she ran up the path, skipping and dancing, and then turned to await them .

" it_is quite a distance from here to_the emerald city," remarked the shaggy man, " so we_shall_not get there to- day, nor to- morrow . therefore let_us take_the jaunt in an easy manner .I'm an old traveler and_have found that I never gain anything by being in a hurry .' take it easy' is my motto . if_you_can't take it easy, take it as easy as_you_can ."

after walking some distance over the road of yellow bricks Ojo said he_was hungry and would stop to eat some bread and cheese . he offered a portion of_the food to_the shaggy man, who thanked him but refused it .

" when I start out on my travels," said he, "I carry along enough square meals to last me several weeks . think I'll indulge in one now, as long as_we're stopping anyway ."

Saying this, he_took a bottle from_his pocket and shook from_it a tablet about_the size of one of Ojo's finger-nails .

" that," announced the shaggy man, " is a square meal, in condensed form . invention of_the great professor Woggle- bug, of_the royal college of athletics . it contains soup, fish, roast meat, salad, apple-dumplings, ice cream and chocolate- drops, all boiled down to_this small size, so it can_be conveniently carried and swallowed when_you_are hungry and need a square meal ."

"I'm square," said the woozy ." give_me one, please ."

so the shaggy man gave the woozy a tablet from_his bottle and_the beast ate it in atwinkling .

" you_have now had asix course dinner," declared the shaggy man .

"Pshaw ! " said the woozy, ungratefully, " i_want to taste something . there's no fun in_that sort of eating ."

" one should only eat to sustain life," replied the shaggy man, " and_that tablet is equal to a peck of other food ."

"I don't care for_it . i_want something I_can chew and taste," grumbled the woozy .

" you_are quite wrong, my poor beast," said the shaggy man in a tone of pity ." think how tired your jaws would get chewing a square meal like this, if_it were_not condensed to_the size of a small tablet-- which_you_can swallow in ajiffy ."

"Chewing isn't tiresome; it's fun, maintained the woozy ."I always chew the honey-bees when I catch them . give_me some bread and cheese, Ojo ."

" no, no ! you've already eaten a big dinner ! " protested the shaggy man .

" may_be," answered the woozy; " but I guess I'll fool myself by munching some bread and cheese . I_may not be hungry, having eaten all those things you_gave me, but I consider this eating business a matter of taste, and I like to realize what's going into me ."

Ojo gave the beast what he_wanted, but the shaggy man shook his shaggy head reproachfully and said there_was no animal so obstinate or hard to_convince as a woozy .

at_this moment a patter of footsteps was heard, and looking up they saw the live phonograph standing before them . it seemed to_have passed through many adventures since Ojo and_his comrades last saw the machine, for_the varnish of_its wooden case was all marred and dented and scratched in a way that gave it an aged and disreputable appearance .

" dear me ! " exclaimed Ojo, staring hard ." what has happened to_you ? "

" nothing much," replied the phonograph in a sad and depressed voice ."I've had enough things thrown at me, since I left you, to stock a department store and furnish half a dozen bargain-counters ."

" are_you so broken up that you_can't play ? " asked Scraps .

" no; I still am able to grind out delicious music . just now I've a record on tap that_is really superb," said the phonograph, growing more cheerful .

" that_is too bad," remarked Ojo ." we've no objection to_you as a machine, you_know; but as a music- maker we hate you ."

" then why was I ever invented ? " demanded the machine, in a tone of indignant protest .

they looked at one another inquiringly, but no one could answer such apuzzling question . finally the shaggy man said:

"I'd like to hear the phonograph play ."

Ojo sighed ." we've been very happy since we met you, sir," he_said .

" I_know . but a little misery, at times, makes one appreciate happiness more . tell me, Phony, what_is this record like, which you say you_have on tap ? "

" it's a popular song, sir . in all civilized lands the common people have_gone wild over it ."

"Makes civilized folks wild folks, eh ? then it's dangerous ."

" wild with joy, I mean," explained the phonograph ." listen . this song will prove a rare treat to_you, I_know . it made the author rich-- for an author . it_is called ' my Lulu .'"

then the phonograph began to play .a strain of odd, jerky sounds was followed by_these words, sung by a man through his nose with great vigor of expression:

"Ah wants mah Lulu, mah coal- black Lulu; Ah wants mah loo-loo, loo-loo, loo-loo, Lu ! Ah loves mah Lulu, mah coal- black Lulu, there ain't nobody else loves loo-loo, Lu ! "

" here-- shut that off ! " cried the shaggy man, springing to_his feet ." what do_you_mean by such impertinence ? "

" it's the latest popular song," declared the phonograph, speaking in a sulky tone of voice .

"A popular song ? "

" yes . one that_the feeble- minded can remember the words of and those ignorant of music can whistle or sing . that makes a popular song popular, and_the time is coming when it_will take_the place of all other songs ."

" that_time won't come to_us, just yet," said the shaggy man, sternly: "I'm something of a singer myself, and I don't intend to_be throttled by any Lulus like your coal- black one . I_shall take you all apart, Mr Phony, and scatter your pieces far and wide over the country, as a matter of kindness to_the people you_might meet if allowed to run around loose .Having performed this painful duty I_shall--"

but before he could_say more the phonograph turned and dashed up the road as fast as its four table-legs could carry it, and soon it had entirely disappeared from their view .

the shaggy man sat down again and seemed well pleased ." some one else will save me the trouble of scattering that phonograph," said he; " for it_is_not possible that such a music- maker can last long in_the land of Oz . when_you_are rested, friends, let_us go on_our way ."

during the afternoon the travelers found themselves in a lonely and uninhabited part of_the country . even the fields were no longer cultivated and_the country began to resemble a wilderness . the road of yellow bricks seemed to_have_been neglected and became uneven and more difficult to walk upon . scrubby under- brush grew on either side of_the way, while huge rocks were scattered around in abundance .

but this_did_not deter Ojo and_his friends from trudging on, and_they beguiled the journey with jokes and cheerful conversation . toward evening they reached a crystal spring which gushed from a tall rock by_the roadside and near this spring stood a deserted cabin . said the shaggy man, halting here:

" we_may as_well pass the night here, where there_is shelter for_our heads and good water to drink . road beyond here_is pretty bad; worst we_shall_have to travel; so let's wait until morning before we tackle it ."

they agreed to_this and Ojo found some brushwood in_the cabin and made a fire on_the hearth . the fire delighted Scraps, who danced before it until Ojo warned her she might set fire to herself and burn up . after_that the patchwork girl kept at a respectful distance from_the darting flames, but the woozy lay down before_the fire like a big dog and seemed to enjoy its warmth .

for supper the shaggy man ate one of_his tablets, but Ojo stuck to_his bread and cheese as_the most satisfying food . he also gave a portion to_the woozy .

when darkness came on and_they sat in a circle on_the cabin floor, facing the firelight-- there being no furniture of any sort in_the place--Ojo said to_the shaggy man:

" won't you tell us a story ? "

"I'm not good at stories," was_the reply; " but I sing like a bird ."

" raven, or crow ? " asked the glass Cat .

" like a song bird .I'll prove it .I'll sing a song I composed myself .Don't tell anyone I'm a poet; they_might want me to write a book .Don't tell 'em I_can sing, or they'd want me to_make records for_that awful phonograph . haven't time to_be a public benefactor, so I'll just sing you this little song for your own amusement ."

they were glad enough to_be entertained, and listened with interest while the shaggy man chanted the following verses to a tune that was not unpleasant:

"I'll sing a song of Ozland, where wondrous creatures dwell and fruits and flowers and shady bowers abound in every dell, where magic is a science and where no one shows surprise if some amazing thing takes place before his very eyes .

our ruler's abewitching girl whom fairies love to_please; she's always kept her magic sceptre to enforce decrees to_make her people happy, for her heart is kind and true and to aid the needy and distressed is what she longs to_do .

and then there's princess Dorothy, as sweet as any rose, a lass from Kansas, where they don't grow fairies, I suppose; and there's the brainy Scarecrow, with a body stuffed with straw, who utters words of wisdom rare that fill us all with awe .

I'll not forget nick chopper, the woodman made of tin, whose tender heart thinks killing time is quite a dreadful sin, nor old professor Woggle- bug, who's highly magnified and looks so big to everyone that he_is filled with pride .

jack Pumpkinhead's a dear old chum who_might_be called a chump, but won renown by riding round upon a magic Gump; the sawhorse is a splendid steed and though he's made of wood he_does as_many thrilling stunts as any meat horse could .

and now I'll introduce a beast that ev'ryone adores-- the cowardly lion shakes with fear ' most ev'ry time he roars, and yet he_does the bravest things that any lion might, because he_knows that cowardice is_not considered right .

there's Tik-Tok-- he's a clockwork man and quite a funny sight-- he talks and walks mechanically, when he's wound up tight; and we've a hungry tiger who_would babies love to eat but never does because we feed him other kinds of meat .

it's hard to name all of_the freaks this noble land's acquired; 'Twould make my song so very long that you_would soon be tired; but give attention while I mention one wise yellow Hen and Nine fine tiny Piglets living in a golden pen .

just search the whole world over-- sail the seas from coast to coast-- no other nation in creation queerer folk can boast; and now our rare museum will include aCat of glass, a woozy, and-- last but not least--a crazy patchwork lass ."

Ojo was so pleased with_this song that he applauded the singer by clapping his hands, and Scraps followed suit by clapping her padded fingers together, although they made no noise . the cat pounded on_the floor with her glass paws-- gently, so as not to break them-- and_the woozy, which had_been asleep, woke up_to ask what the row was about .

"I seldom sing in public, for fear they_might want me to start an opera company," remarked the shaggy man, who was pleased to_know his effort was appreciated ." voice, just now, is a little out of training; rusty, perhaps ."

" tell me," said the patchwork girl earnestly, " do all those queer people you mention really live in_the land of Oz ? "

" every_one of 'em .I even forgot one_thing: Dorothy's pink kitten ."

" for goodness sake ! " exclaimed bungle, sitting up and looking interested ."A pink kitten ? how absurd ! is_it glass ? "

" no; just ordinary kitten ."

" then it can't amount to much . I_have pink brains, and you_can see 'em work ."

" Dorothy's kitten is all pink--brains and all-- except blue eyes . name's eureka . great favorite at_the royal palace," said the shaggy man, yawning .

the glass Cat seemed annoyed .

" do_you_think a pink kitten-- common meat-- is as pretty as I_am ? " she asked .

" can't say .Tastes differ, you_know," replied the shaggy man, yawning again ." but here's a pointer that_may_be of service to_you: make friends with eureka and you'll be solid at_the palace ."

"I'm solid now; solid glass ."

" you don't understand," rejoined the shaggy man, sleepily ."Anyhow, make friends with_the pink kitten and you'll be all right . if_the pink kitten despises you, look out for breakers ."

" would anyone at_the royal palace break a glass Cat ? "

" might . you never can tell . advise you to purr soft and look humble-- if_you_can . and now I'm going to bed ."

bungle considered the shaggy man's advice so carefully that her pink brains were busy long after_the others of_the party were fast asleep .

chapter Twelve

the giant porcupine

next morning they started out bright and early to_follow the road of yellow bricks toward the emerald city . the little Munchkin boy was beginning to_feel tired from_the long walk, and he had a great_many things to_think of and consider besides the events of_the journey . at_the

Section [1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | 16 | 17 | 18 | 19 | 20 | 21 | 22 | 23 | 24]