Oz 07: The Patchwork Girl of Oz by L. Frank Baum
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inquire the way to_the emerald city ."

chapter Eight

the foolish owl and_the wise donkey

on they went, and half an hour's steady walking brought them to a house somewhat better than_the two they had already passed . it stood close to_the roadside and over the door was a sign that read: " miss foolish owl and Mr wise donkey: public Advisers ."

when Ojo read this sign aloud Scraps said laughingly: " well, here_is a place to_get all the advice we_want, maybe more than we_need . let's go in ."

the boy knocked at_the door .

" come in ! " called a deep bass voice .

so they opened the door and entered the house, where a little light- brown donkey, dressed in a blue apron and a blue cap, was engaged in dusting the furniture with a blue cloth . on a shelf over the window sat a great blue owl with a blue sunbonnet on her head, blinking her big round eyes at_the visitors .

" good morning," said the donkey, in_his deep voice, which seemed bigger than he_was ." did you come to_us for advice ? "

" why, we came, anyhow," replied Scraps, " and now we_are here we_may as_well have some advice . it's free, isn't it ? "

" certainly," said the donkey ." advice doesn't cost anything-- unless you follow it . permit me to_say, by_the_way, that you_are the queerest lot of travelers that ever came to my shop .Judging you merely by appearances, i_think you'd better talk to_the foolish owl yonder ."

they turned to look at_the bird, which fluttered its wings and stared back at them with its big eyes .

"Hoot-ti- toot-ti- toot ! " cried the owl .

" fiddle-cum-foo, Howdy- do ? riddle-cum, tiddle-cum, too-ra-la-loo ! "

" that beats your poetry, Scraps," said Ojo .

" it's just nonsense ! " declared the glass Cat .

" but it's good advice for_the foolish," said the donkey, admiringly ." listen to my partner, and you_can't go wrong ."

said the owl in agrumbling voice:

" patchwork girl has_come to life; no one's sweetheart, no one's wife; Lacking sense and loving fun, she'll be snubbed by everyone ."

" quite a compliment ! quite a compliment, I declare," exclaimed the donkey, turning to look at Scraps ." you_are certainly a wonder, my dear, and I fancy you'd make a splendid pincushion . if_you belonged to_me, I'd wear smoked glasses when I looked at you ."

" why ? " asked the patchwork girl .

" because you_are so gay and gaudy ."

" it_is my beauty that dazzles you," she asserted ." you Munchkin people all strut around in your stupid blue color, while I--"

" you_are wrong in calling me aMunchkin," interrupted the donkey, " for i_was born in_the land of Mo and came to visit the land of Oz on_the day it_was shut off from all the rest of_the world . so here I_am obliged to stay, and I confess it_is a very pleasant country to live in ."

"Hoot-ti- toot ! " cried the owl;

"Ojo's searching for a charm, ' cause Unc Nunkie's come to harm .Charms are scarce; they're hard to_get; Ojo's got a job, you bet ! "

" is_the owl so very foolish ? " asked the boy .

"Extremely so," replied the donkey ." notice what vulgar expressions she uses . but I admire the owl for_the reason that she_is positively foolish .Owls are supposed to_be so very wise, generally, that a foolish one is unusual, and you perhaps know that anything or anyone unusual is sure to_be interesting to_the wise ."

the owl flapped its wings again, muttering these words:

" it's hard to_be a glassy cat-- no cat can_be more hard than that; she's so transparent, every act is clear to_us, and_that's a fact ."

" have_you noticed my pink brains ? " inquired bungle, proudly ." you_can see 'em work ."

" not in_the daytime," said the donkey ." she_can't see very_well by day, poor thing . but her advice is excellent .I advise you all to_follow it ."

" the owl hasn't given us any advice, as_yet," the boy declared .

" no ? then what do_you call all those sweet poems ? "

" just foolishness," replied Ojo ."Scraps does the same thing ."

" foolishness ! of_course ! to_be_sure ! the foolish owl must_be foolish or she wouldn't be the foolish owl . you_are very complimentary to my partner, indeed," asserted the donkey, rubbing his front hoofs together as_if highly pleased .

" the sign says that you_are wise," remarked Scraps to_the donkey ." i_wish you_would prove it ."

" with great pleasure," returned the beast ." put me to_the test, my dear Patches, and I'll prove my wisdom in_the wink of an eye ."

" what_is the best way to_get to_the emerald city ? " asked Ojo .

" walk," said the donkey .

" I_know; but what road shall I take ? " was_the boy's next question .

" the road of yellow bricks, of_course . it leads directly to_the emerald city ."

" and how shall we_find the road of yellow bricks ? "

" by keeping along the path you_have_been following . you'll come to_the yellow bricks pretty soon, and you'll know them when_you see them because they're the only yellow things in_the blue country ."

" thank_you," said the boy ." at last you_have told me something ."

" is that_the extent of your wisdom ? " asked Scraps .

" no," replied the donkey; " I_know many_other things, but they wouldn't interest you . so I'll give_you a last word of advice: move on, for_the sooner you_do that_the sooner you'll get to_the emerald city of Oz ."

"Hoot-ti- toot-ti- toot-ti- too ! " screeched the owl;

" off you go ! fast or slow, where you're going you don't know .Patches, bungle, Muchkin lad, Facing fortunes good and bad, Meeting dangers grave and sad, Sometimes worried, sometimes glad-- where you're going you don't know, nor do I, but off you go ! "

"Sounds like a hint, to_me," said the patchwork girl .

" then let's take it and go," replied Ojo .

they said good-bye to_the wise donkey and_the foolish owl and at once resumed their journey .

chapter Nine

they meet the woozy

" there seem_to_be very few houses around here, after all," remarked Ojo, after they had walked for a time in silence .

" never mind," said Scraps; " we_are_not looking for houses, but rather the road of yellow bricks . won't it be funny to run across something yellow in_this dismal blue country ? "

" there_are worse colors than yellow in_this country," asserted the glass Cat, in a spiteful tone .

"Oh; do_you_mean the pink pebbles you call your brains, and your red heart and green eyes ? " asked the patchwork girl .

" no; I mean you, if_you_must know it," growled the cat .

" you're jealous ! " laughed Scraps ." you'd give your whiskers for a lovely variegated complexion like mine ."

"I wouldn't ! " retorted the cat ."I've the clearest complexion in_the_world, and I don't employ a beauty- doctor, either ."

" I_see you don't," said Scraps .

" please don't quarrel," begged Ojo ." this_is an important journey, and quarreling makes me discouraged . to_be brave, one must_be cheerful, so I_hope_you_will be as good- tempered as possible ."

they had traveled some distance when suddenly they faced a high fence which barred any further progress straight ahead . it ran directly across the road and enclosed a small forest of tall trees, set close together . when_the group of adventurers peered through_the bars of_the fence they thought this forest looked more gloomy and forbidding than any they had ever seen before .

they soon discovered that_the path they had_been following now made a bend and passed around the enclosure, but what made Ojo stop and look thoughtful was a sign painted on_the fence which read:

" beware of_the woozy ! "

" that means," he_said, " that there's a woozy inside that fence, and_the woozy must_be a dangerous animal or they wouldn't tell people to beware of it ."

" let's keep out, then," replied Scraps ." that path is outside the fence, and Mr woozy may_have all his little forest to himself, for all we care ."

" but one_of_our errands is to_find a woozy," Ojo explained ." the magician wants me to_get three hairs from_the end of a woozy's tail ."

" let's go on and find some other woozy," suggested the cat ." this_one is ugly and dangerous, or they wouldn't cage him up . maybe we_shall find another that_is tame and gentle ."

" perhaps there isn't any_other, at all," answered Ojo ." the sign doesn't say: ' beware a woozy'; it says: ' beware the woozy,' which_may mean there's only_one in all the land of Oz ."

" then," said Scraps, " suppose we go in and find him ? very likely if_we ask him politely to let_us pull three hairs out_of_the tip of_his tail he won't hurt us ."

" it would hurt him, I'm sure, and that_would make him cross," said the cat .

" you needn't worry, bungle," remarked the patchwork girl; " for if_there_is danger you_can climb a tree .Ojo and I are_not afraid; are we, Ojo ? "

" I_am, a little," the boy admitted; " but this danger must_be faced, if_we intend to save poor Unc Nunkie . how shall we get over the fence ? "

" climb," answered Scraps, and at once she began climbing up the rows of bars .Ojo followed and found it more easy than he had expected . when_they got to_the top of_the fence they began to_get down on_the other side and soon were in_the forest . the glass Cat, being small, crept between_the lower bars and joined them .

here there_was no path of any sort, so they entered the woods, the boy leading the way, and wandered through_the trees until they were nearly in_the center of_the forest . they now came upon a clear space in_which stood a rocky cave .

so_far they had met no living creature, but when Ojo saw the cave he_knew it must_be the den of_the woozy .

it_is hard to_face any savage beast without asinking of_the heart, but still more terrifying is_it to_face an unknown beast, which you_have never seen even a picture of . so there_is little wonder that_the pulses of_the Munchkin boy beat fast as he and_his companions stood facing the cave . the opening was perfectly square, and about big enough to admit a goat .

"I guess the woozy is asleep," said Scraps ." shall I throw in a stone, to waken him ? "

" no; please don't," answered Ojo, his voice trembling a little ."I'm in no hurry ."

but he had_not long to wait, for_the woozy heard the sound of voices and came trotting out of_his cave . as this_is_the only woozy that has ever lived, either in_the land of Oz or out of it, I_must describe it to_you .

the creature was all squares and flat surfaces and edges . its head was an exact square, like one_of_the building-blocks a child plays with; therefore it had no ears, but heard sounds through two openings in_the upper corners . its nose, being in_the center of a square surface, was flat, while the mouth was formed by_the opening of_the lower edge of_the block . the body of_the woozy was much larger than its head, but was likewise block- shaped-- being twice as long as it_was wide and high . the tail was square and stubby and perfectly straight, and_the four legs were made in_the same way, each being four- sided . the animal was covered with a thick, smooth skin and had no hair at all except at_the extreme end of_its tail, where there grew exactly three stiff, stubby hairs . the beast was dark blue in color and_his face was not fierce nor ferocious in expression, but rather good- humored and droll .

Seeing the strangers, the woozy folded his hind legs as if_they had_been hinged and sat down to look his visitors over .

" well, well," he exclaimed; " what a queer lot you_are ! at first i_thought some_of_those miserable Munchkin farmers had come to annoy me, but I_am relieved to_find you in their stead . it_is plain to_me that you_are a remarkable group-- as remarkable in your way as I_am in mine-- and so you_are welcome to my domain . nice place, isn't it ? but lonesome--dreadfully lonesome ."

" why did they shut you up here ? " asked Scraps, who was regarding the queer, square creature with much curiosity .

" because I eat up all the honey-bees which the Munchkin farmers who live around here keep to_make them honey ."

" are_you fond of eating honey-bees ? " inquired the boy .

" very . they_are really delicious . but the farmers did_not like to lose their bees and so they tried to destroy me . of_course they couldn't do_that ."

" why_not ? "

" my skin is so thick and tough that nothing can get through it to hurt me . so, finding they_could_not destroy me, they drove me into_this forest and built a fence around me . unkind, wasn't it ? "

" but what do_you eat now ? " asked Ojo .

" nothing at all .I've tried the leaves from_the trees and_the mosses and creeping vines, but they don't seem to suit my taste . so, there being no honey-bees here, I've eaten nothing for years .

" you_must_be awfully hungry," said the boy ."I've got some bread and cheese in my basket . would you like that kind of food ? "

" give_me a nibble and_I_will try it; then I_can tell you better whether it_is grateful to my appetite," returned the woozy .

so the boy opened his basket and broke a piece off the loaf of bread . he tossed it toward the woozy, who cleverly caught it in_his mouth and ate it in atwinkling .

" that's rather good," declared the animal ." any more ? "

" try some cheese," said Ojo, and threw down a piece .

the woozy ate that, too, and smacked its long, thin lips .

" that's mighty good ! " it exclaimed ."

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