Oz 07: The Patchwork Girl of Oz by L. Frank Baum
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it, Scraps ? "

" no," replied the patchwork girl, who was holding fast to_the boy's arm so he_could guide her .

" I_can_see," declared the glass Cat ." my eyes are better than yours, and my pink brains--"

" never mind your pink brains, please," said Ojo hastily; " just run ahead and show us the way . wait a minute and I'll tie a string to_you; for then you_can lead us ."

he got a string from_his pocket and tied it around the cat's neck, and after_that the creature guided them along the path . they had proceeded in_this_way for about an hour when atwinkling blue light appeared ahead of_them .

" good ! there's a house at last," cried Ojo ." when we reach it the good people will surely welcome us and give_us a night's lodging ." but however far they walked the light seemed to_get no nearer, so by and by_the cat stopped short, saying:

" i_think the light is traveling, too, and we_shall never be_able to catch up with it . but here_is a house by_the roadside, so why go farther ? "

" where is_the house, bungle ? "

" just here beside us, Scraps ."

Ojo was now able to_see a small house near the pathway . it_was dark and silent, but the boy was tired and wanted to rest, so he went up_to_the door and knocked .

" who is_there ? " cried a voice from within .

" I_am Ojo the unlucky, and with me are miss Scraps patchwork and_the glass Cat," he replied .

" what do_you_want ? " asked the voice .

"A place to sleep," said Ojo .

" come in, then; but don't make any noise, and you_must go directly to bed," returned the voice .

Ojo unlatched the door and entered . it_was very dark inside and he could_see nothing at all . but the cat exclaimed: " why, there's no one here ! "

" there_must_be," said the boy ." some one spoke to_me ."

" I_can_see everything in_the room," replied the cat, " and no one is present but ourselves . but here are three beds, all made up, so we_may as_well go to sleep ."

" what_is sleep ? " inquired the patchwork girl .

" it's what you_do when_you go to bed," said Ojo .

" but why do_you go to bed ? " persisted the patchwork girl .

" here, here ! you_are making altogether too_much noise," cried the voice they had heard before ." keep quiet, strangers, and go to bed ."

the cat, which could_see in_the dark, looked sharply around for_the owner of_the voice, but could discover no one, although the voice had seemed close beside them . she arched her back a little and seemed afraid . then she whispered to Ojo: " come ! " and led him to a bed .

with_his hands the boy felt of_the bed and found it_was big and soft, with feather pillows and plenty of blankets . so he_took off his shoes and hat and crept into_the bed . then the cat led Scraps to another bed and_the patchwork girl was puzzled to_know what to_do with it .

" lie down and keep quiet," whispered the cat, warningly .

" can't I sing ? " asked Scraps .

" no ."

" can't I whistle ? " asked Scraps .

" no ."

" can't I dance till morning, if i_want to ? " asked Scraps .

" you_must keep quiet," said the cat, in a soft voice .

"I don't want to," replied the patchwork girl, speaking as loudly as usual ." what right have_you to order me around ? if i_want to_talk, or yell, or whistle--"

before she_could say anything more an unseen hand seized her firmly and threw her out_of_the door, which closed behind her with a sharp slam . she found herself bumping and rolling in_the road and when she got up and tried to open the door of_the house again she found it locked .

" what has happened to Scraps ? " asked Ojo .

" never mind . let's go to sleep, or something will happen to_us," answered the glass Cat .

so Ojo snuggled down in_his bed and fell asleep, and he_was so tired that he never wakened until broad daylight .

chapter Seven

the troublesome phonograph

when_the boy opened his eyes next morning he looked carefully around the room . these small Munchkin houses seldom had more than one room in_them . that in_which Ojo now found himself had three beds, set all in a row on one side of it . the glass Cat lay asleep on one bed, Ojo was in_the second, and_the third was neatly made up and smoothed for_the day . on_the other side of_the room was a round table on_which breakfast was already placed, smoking hot . only_one chair was drawn up_to_the table, where a place was set for_one person . no one seemed to_be in_the room except the boy and bungle .

Ojo got up and put on_his shoes .Finding a toilet stand at_the head of_his bed he washed his face and hands and brushed his hair . then he went to_the table and said:

"I wonder if_this_is my breakfast ? "

" eat it ! " commanded a voice at his side, so near that Ojo jumped . but no person could he see .

he_was hungry, and_the breakfast looked good; so he sat down and ate all he_wanted . then, rising, he_took his hat and wakened the glass Cat .

" come on, bungle," said he; " we_must go ."

he cast another glance about_the room and, speaking to_the air, he_said: " whoever lives here has_been kind to_me, and I'm much obliged ."

there_was no answer, so he_took his basket and went out the door, the cat following him . in_the middle of_the path sat the patchwork girl, playing with pebbles she had picked up .

"Oh, there you_are ! " she exclaimed cheerfully ." i_thought you were never coming out . it_has_been daylight a long_time ."

" what did you_do all night ? " asked the boy .

" sat here and watched the stars and_the moon," she replied ." they're interesting .I never saw them before, you_know ."

" of_course not," said Ojo .

" you were crazy to act so badly and get thrown outdoors," remarked bungle, as_they renewed their journey .

" that's all right," said Scraps ." if I hadn't been thrown out I wouldn't have seen the stars, nor the big gray wolf ."

" what wolf ? " inquired Ojo .

" the one that came to_the door of_the house three times during the night ."

"I don't see why that should_be," said the boy, thoughtfully; " there_was plenty to eat in_that house, for I had a fine breakfast, and I slept in a nice bed ."

"Don't you feel tired ? " asked the patchwork girl, noticing that_the boy yawned .

" why, yes; I'm as tired as i_was last night; and yet I slept very_well ."

" and aren't you hungry ? "

" it's strange," replied Ojo ."I had a good breakfast, and yet i_think I'll now eat some of_my crackers and cheese ."

Scraps danced up and down the path . then she sang:

"Kizzle-kazzle-kore; the wolf is at_the door, there's nothing to eat but a bone without meat, and a bill from_the grocery store ."

" what does that mean ? " asked Ojo .

"Don't ask me," replied Scraps ." I_say what comes into my head, but of_course I_know nothing of a grocery store or bones without meat or-- very_much else ."

" no," said the cat; " she's stark, staring, raving crazy, and her brains can't be pink, for they don't work properly ."

" bother the brains ! " cried Scraps ." who cares for 'em, anyhow ? have_you noticed how beautiful my patches are in_this sunlight ? "

just then they heard a sound as of footsteps pattering along the path behind them and all three turned to_see what_was coming . to_their astonishment they beheld a small round table running as fast as its four spindle legs could carry it, and to_the top was screwed fast a phonograph with a big gold horn .

" hold on ! " shouted the phonograph ." wait for_me ! "

" goodness me; it's that music thing which the crooked magician scattered the powder of life over," said Ojo .

" so it_is," returned bungle, in a grumpy tone of voice; and then, as_the phonograph overtook them, the glass Cat added sternly: " what_are you doing here, anyhow ? "

"I've run away," said the music thing ." after you left, old Dr .Pipt and I had a dreadful quarrel and he threatened to smash me to pieces if I didn't keep quiet . of_course I wouldn't do_that, because atalking- machine is supposed to_talk and make a noise-- and sometimes music . so I slipped out_of_the house while the magician was stirring his four kettles and I've been running after you all night . now that I've found such pleasant company, I_can talk and play tunes all i_want to ."

Ojo was greatly annoyed by_this unwelcome addition to_their party . at first he_did_not know what to_say to_the newcomer, but a little thought decided him not to_make friends .

" we_are traveling on important business," he declared, " and you'll excuse me if I_say we_can't be bothered ."

" how very impolite ! " exclaimed the phonograph .

"I'm sorry; but it's true," said the boy ." you'll have to_go somewhere else ."

" this_is very unkind treatment, I_must say," whined the phonograph, in an injured tone ." everyone seems to hate me, and yet i_was intended to amuse people ."

" it isn't you we hate, especially," observed the glass Cat; " it's your dreadful music . when I lived in_the same room with_you i_was much annoyed by your squeaky horn . it growls and grumbles and clicks and scratches so it spoils the music, and your machinery rumbles so that_the racket drowns every tune you attempt ."

" that isn't my fault; it's the fault of_my records . I_must admit that I haven't a clear record," answered the machine .

" just the same, you'll have to_go away," said Ojo .

" wait a minute," cried Scraps ." this music thing interests me .I remember to_have heard music when I first came to life, and i_would like to hear it again . what_is your_name, my poor abused phonograph ? "

" victor Columbia Edison," it answered .

" well, I_shall call you 'Vic' for short," said the patchwork girl ." go ahead and play something ."

" it'll drive you crazy," warned the cat .

"I'm crazy now, according to your statement . loosen up and reel out the music, Vic ."

" the only record I_have with me," explained the phonograph, " is one the magician attached just before we had our quarrel . it's a highly classical composition ."

"A what ? " inquired Scraps .

" it_is classical music, and_is considered the best and most puzzling ever manufactured . you're supposed to like it, whether you_do or not, and if_you don't, the proper thing is to look as_if you_did . understand ? "

" not in_the least," said Scraps .

" then, listen ! "

at once the machine began to play and in_a_few_minutes Ojo put his hands to_his ears to shut out the sounds and_the cat snarled and Scraps began to laugh .

" cut it out, Vic," she said ." that's enough ."

but the phonograph continued playing the dreary tune, so Ojo seized the crank, jerked it free and threw it into_the road . however, the moment the crank struck the ground it bounded back to_the machine again and began winding it up . and still the music played .

" let's run ! " cried Scraps, and_they all started and ran down the path as fast as they_could go . but the phonograph was right behind them and could run and play at_the same time . it called out, reproachfully:

" what's the matter ? Don't you love classical music ? "

" no, Vic," said Scraps, halting ." we_will passical the classical and preserve what joy we_have left .I haven't any nerves, thank goodness, but your music makes my cotton shrink ."

" then turn over my record . there's a rag- time tune on_the other side," said the machine .

" what's rag- time ? "

" the opposite of classical ."

" all right," said Scraps, and turned over the record .

the phonograph now began to play a jerky jumble of sounds which proved so bewildering that after a moment Scraps stuffed her patchwork apron into_the gold horn and cried: " stop-- stop ! that's the other extreme . it's extremely bad ! "

muffled as it_was, the phonograph played on .

" if_you don't shut off that music I'll smash your record," threatened Ojo .

the music stopped, at_that, and_the machine turned its horn from one to another and said with great indignation: " what's the matter now ? is_it possible you_can't appreciate rag- time ? "

"Scraps ought to, being rags herself," said the cat; " but I simply can't stand it; it makes my whiskers curl ."

" it_is, indeed, dreadful ! " exclaimed Ojo, with a shudder .

" it's enough to drive a crazy lady mad," murmured the patchwork girl ."I'll tell you what, Vic," she added as she smoothed out her apron and put it on again, " for some reason or other you've missed your guess . you're not a concert; you're a nuisance ."

" music hath charms to soothe the savage breast," asserted the phonograph sadly .

" then we're not savages .I advise you to_go home and beg the magician's pardon ."

" never ! he'd smash me ."

" that's what we_shall do, if_you stay here," Ojo declared .

" run along, Vic, and bother some one else," advised Scraps ." find some one who_is real wicked, and stay with_him till he repents . in_that way you_can do some good in_the_world ."

the music thing turned silently away and trotted down a side path, toward a distant Munchkin village .

" is that_the way we go ? " asked bungle anxiously .

" no," said Ojo; " i_think we_shall keep straight ahead, for_this path is_the widest and best . when we come to some house we_will inquire

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