the nice people

by Henry Cuyler Bunner (1855-1896)

[ from Puck_, July 30, 1890 .Republished in_the volume, short Sixes: Stories to_be read while the candle Burns (1891), by Henry Cuyler Bunner; copyright, 1890, by Alice Larned Bunner; reprinted by permission of_the publishers, Charles Scribner'a Sons .]

" they certainly are nice people," I assented to my wife's observation, using the colloquial phrase with a consciousness that_it_was anything but " nice" English, " and I'll bet that their three children are better brought up than most of----"

"_Two children," corrected my wife .

" three, he_told me ."

" my dear, she said there were two ."

" he_said three ."

" you've simply forgotten .I'm sure she told me they had only two--a boy and a girl ."

" well, I didn't enter into particulars ."

" no, dear, and you couldn't have understood him . two children ."

" all right," I_said; but I_did_not think it_was all right . as a near- sighted man learns by enforced observation to recognize persons at a distance when_the face is_not visible to_the normal eye, so the man with a bad memory learns, almost unconsciously, to listen carefully and report accurately . my memory is bad; but I had_not had time to forget that Mr Brewster Brede had told me that afternoon that he had three children, at present left in_the care of_his mother- in- law, while he and Mrs Brede took their summer vacation .

" two children," repeated my wife; " and_they are staying with_his aunt Jenny ."

" he_told me with_his mother- in- law," I put in . my wife looked at me with a serious expression . men may not remember much of what they_are told about children; but any man knows the difference between an aunt and a mother- in- law .

" but don't you_think they're nice people ? " asked my wife .

"Oh, certainly," I replied ." only they seem_to_be a little mixed up about their children ."

" that isn't a nice thing to_say," returned my wife . I_could_not deny it .

* * * * *

and yet, the next morning, when_the Bredes came down and seated themselves opposite us at table, beaming and smiling in their natural, pleasant, well- bred fashion, I_knew, to a social certainty, that_they were " nice" people . he_was a fine- looking fellow in_his neat tennis-flannels, slim, graceful, twenty-eight or thirty years old, with aFrenchy pointed beard . she was " nice" in all her pretty clothes, and she herself was pretty with_that type of prettiness which outwears most other types-- the prettiness that lies in a rounded figure, a dusky skin, plump, rosy cheeks, white teeth and black eyes . she might_have_been twenty-five; you guessed that she was prettier than she was at twenty, and_that she_would be prettier still at forty .

and nice people were all we wanted to_make us happy in Mr Jacobus's summer boarding- house on top of orange mountain . for a week we had come down to breakfast each_morning, wondering why we wasted the precious days of idleness with_the company gathered around the Jacobus board . what joy of human companionship was to_be had out of Mrs Tabb and miss Hoogencamp, the two middle- aged gossips from Scranton, Pa .-- out of Mr and Mrs Biggle, an indurated head- bookkeeper and_his prim and censorious wife-- out of old major Halkit, a retired business man, who, having once sold a few shares on commission, wrote for circulars of every stock company that was started, and tried to induce every_one to invest who_would listen to him ? we looked around at those dull faces, the truthful indices of mean and barren minds, and decided that we_would leave that morning . then we ate Mrs Jacobus's biscuit, light as aurora's cloudlets, drank her honest coffee, inhaled the perfume of_the late azaleas with_which she decked her table, and decided to postpone our departure one more day . and then we wandered out to_take our morning glance at what we called " our view"; and it seemed to_us as_if Tabb and Hoogencamp and Halkit and_the Biggleses could_not drive us away in a year .

i_was not surprised when, after breakfast, my wife invited the Bredes to walk with_us to " our view ." the Hoogencamp-Biggle-Tabb-Halkit contingent never stirred off Jacobus's veranda; but we both felt that_the Bredes would_not profane that sacred scene . we strolled slowly across the fields, passed through_the little belt of woods and, as I heard Mrs Brede's little cry of startled rapture, I motioned to Brede to look up .

" by Jove ! " he cried, " heavenly ! "

we looked off from_the brow of_the mountain over fifteen miles of billowing green, to where, far across a far stretch of pale blue lay a dim purple line that we_knew was Staten island .Towns and villages lay before_us and under us; there were ridges and hills, uplands and lowlands, woods and plains, all massed and mingled in_that great silent sea of sunlit green . for silent it_was to_us, standing in_the silence of a high place-- silent with a Sunday stillness that made us listen, without taking thought, for_the sound of bells coming up from_the spires that rose above the tree-tops-- the tree-tops that lay as far beneath us as_the light clouds were above us that dropped great shadows upon our heads and faint specks of shade upon_the broad sweep of land at_the mountain's foot .

" and so_that is your view ? " asked Mrs Brede, after a moment; " you_are very generous to_make it ours, too ."

then we lay down on_the grass, and Brede began to_talk, in a gentle voice, as_if he_felt the influence of_the place . he had paddled a canoe, in_his earlier days, he_said, and he_knew every river and creek in_that vast stretch of landscape . he_found his landmarks, and pointed out to_us where the Passaic and_the Hackensack flowed, invisible to_us, hidden behind great ridges that in_our sight were but combings of_the green waves upon_which we looked down . and yet, on_the further side of_those broad ridges and rises were scores of villages--a little world of country life, lying unseen under our eyes .

"A good_deal like looking at humanity," he_said; " there_is such a thing as getting so_far above our fellow men that we see only_one side of_them ."

Ah, how_much better was_this sort of talk than_the chatter and gossip of_the Tabb and_the Hoogencamp-- than_the major's dissertations upon his everlasting circulars ! my wife and I exchanged glances .

" now, when I went up the Matterhorn" Mr Brede began .

" why, dear," interrupted his wife, "I didn't know you ever went up the Matterhorn ."

" it-- it_was five years_ago," said Mr Brede, hurriedly ."I--I didn't tell you-- when i_was on_the other side, you_know-- it_was rather dangerous-- well, as i_was saying-- it looked--oh, it didn't look at all like this ."

a cloud floated overhead, throwing its great shadow over the field where we lay . the shadow passed over the mountain's brow and reappeared far below, a rapidly decreasing blot, flying eastward over the golden green . my wife and I exchanged glances once more .

somehow, the shadow lingered over us all . as_we went home, the Bredes went side by side along the narrow path, and my wife and I walked together .

"_Should you think_," she asked me, " that a man would climb the Matterhorn the very first year he_was married ? "

"I don't know, my dear," I answered, evasively; " this isn't the first year I_have_been married, not by a good_many, and I wouldn't climb it-- for a farm ."

" you_know what I mean," she said .

I_did .

* * * * *

when we reached the boarding- house, Mr Jacobus took me aside .

" you_know," he began his discourse, " my wife she uset to live in N' York ! "

I didn't know, but I_said " yes ."

" she says the numbers on_the streets runs criss- cross- like .Thirty-four's on one side o' the street an' thirty-five on t' other . how's that ? "

" that_is_the invariable rule, I believe ."

" then-- I_say-- these here new folk that you 'n' your wife seem so mighty taken up with--d' ye know anything about 'em ? "

" I_know nothing about_the character of your boarders, Mr Jacobus," I replied, conscious of some irritability ." if I choose to associate with any of_them----"

"Jess so--jess so ! " broke in Jacobus ."I hain't nothin' to_say ag'inst yer sosherbil'ty . but do ye know them ? "

" why, certainly not," I replied .

" well-- that was all I wuz askin' ye . ye see, when he come here to take_the rooms-- you wasn't here then-- he_told my wife that he lived at number thirty-four in_his street . an' yistiddy she told her that_they lived at number thirty-five . he_said he lived in an apartment- house . now there can't be no apartment- house on two sides of_the same street, kin they ? "

" what street was_it ? " I inquired, wearily .

" hundred 'n' twenty- first street ."

" may_be," I replied, still more wearily ." that's Harlem . nobody knows what people will do in Harlem ."

I went up_to my wife's room .

"Don't you_think it's queer ? " she asked me .

" i_think I'll have a talk with_that young man to- night," I_said, " and_see if he_can give some account of himself ."

" but, my dear," my wife said, gravely, "_she doesn't know whether they've had the measles or not ."

" why, great Scott ! " I exclaimed, " they_must_have had them when_they were children ."

" please don't be stupid," said my wife ."I meant their children ."

after dinner that night-- or rather, after supper, for we had dinner in_the middle of_the day at Jacobus's--I walked down the long verandah to ask Brede, who was placidly smoking at_the other end, to accompany me on a twilight stroll . half way down I met major Halkit .

" that friend of yours," he_said, indicating the unconscious figure at_the further end of_the house, " seems_to_be a queer sort of aDick . he_told me that he_was out of business, and just looking round for a chance to invest his capital . and I've been telling him what an everlasting big show he had to_take stock in_the Capitoline trust company--starts next_month--four million capital-- i_told you all about_it .'Oh, well,' he_says, ' let's wait and think about_it .' ' wait ! ' says I, ' the Capitoline trust company won't wait for you_, my boy . this_is letting you in on_the ground floor,' says I, ' and it's now or never .' 'Oh, let it wait,' says he .I don't know what's in-_to the man ."

"I don't know how well he_knows his own business, major," I_said as I started again for Brede's end of_the veranda . but i_was troubled none the less . the major could_not have influenced the sale of one share of stock in_the Capitoline company . but that stock was a great investment; a rare chance for a purchaser with a few thousand dollars . perhaps it_was no more remarkable that Brede should_not invest than that I should_not-- and yet, it seemed to add one circumstance more to_the other suspicious circumstances .

* * * * *

when I went upstairs that evening, I_found my wife putting her hair to bed--I don't know how I_can better describe an operation familiar to every married man .I waited until the last tress was coiled up, and then I spoke:

"I've talked with Brede," I_said, " and I didn't have to catechize him . he_seemed to_feel that some sort of explanation was looked for, and he_was very outspoken . you were right about_the children-- that_is, I_must_have misunderstood him . there_are only two . but the Matterhorn episode was simple enough . he didn't realize how dangerous it_was until he had got so_far into_it that he couldn't back out; and he didn't tell her, because he'd left her here, you_see, and under the circumstances----"

" left her here ! " cried my wife ."I've been sitting with her the whole afternoon, sewing, and she told me that he left her at Geneva, and came back and took her to Basle, and_the baby was born there-- now I'm sure, dear, because I asked her ."

" perhaps i_was mistaken when i_thought he_said she was on_this side of_the water," I suggested, with bitter, biting irony .

" you poor dear, did I abuse you ? " said my wife ." but, do_you_know, Mrs Tabb said that she didn't know how_many lumps of sugar he_took in_his coffee . now that seems queer, doesn't it ? "

it did . it_was a small thing . but it looked queer, very queer .

* * * * *

the next morning, it_was clear that war was declared against the Bredes . they came down to breakfast somewhat late, and, as_soon_as they arrived, the Biggleses swooped up the last fragments that remained on their plates, and made a stately march out_of_the dining- room, then miss Hoogencamp arose and departed, leaving a whole fish- ball on her plate . even as Atalanta might_have dropped an apple behind her to tempt her pursuer to_check his speed, so miss Hoogencamp left that fish- ball behind her, and between her maiden self and contamination .

we had finished our breakfast, my wife and I, before_the Bredes appeared . we talked it over, and agreed that we were glad that we had_not_been obliged to_take sides upon_such insufficient testimony .

after breakfast, it was_the custom of_the male half of_the Jacobus household to_go around the corner of_the building and smoke their pipes and cigars where they_would not annoy the ladies . we sat under a trellis covered with agrapevine that had borne no grapes in_the memory of man . this vine, however, bore leaves, and these, on_that pleasant summer morning, shielded from_us two persons who were in earnest conversation in_the straggling, half- dead flower- garden at_the side of_the house .

"I don't want," we heard Mr Jacobus say, " to enter in no man's _pry_-vacy; but I_do want to_know who it may_be, like, that I hev in my house . now what I ask of you_, and I don't want you to_take it as in no ways personal_, is--hev you your merridge- license with_you ? "

" no," we heard the voice of Mr Brede reply ." have_you yours ? "

i_think it_was a chance shot; but it told all the same . the major ( he_was a widower) and Mr Biggle and I looked at each_other; and Mr Jacobus, on_the other side of_the grape- trellis, looked at--I don't know what-- and was as silent as_we were .

where is your marriage- license, married reader ? do_you_know ? Four men, not including Mr Brede, stood or sat on one side or the other of_that grape- trellis, and not one_of_them knew where his marriage- license was . each of us had had one-- the major had had three . but where were they ? where is yours ? tucked in your best- man's pocket; deposited in_his desk-- or washed to a pulp in_his white waistcoat ( if white waistcoats be the fashion of_the hour), washed out of existence-- can_you tell where it_is ? can_you-- unless you_are one of_those people who frame that interesting document and hang it upon their drawing- room walls ?

Mr Brede's voice arose, after an awful stillness of what seemed like five minutes, and was, probably, thirty seconds:

" Mr Jacobus, will_you make out your bill at once, and let me pay it ? I_shall leave by_the six o'clock train . and will_you also send the wagon for_my trunks ? "

"I hain't said i_wanted to hev ye leave----" began Mr Jacobus; but Brede cut him short .

" bring me your bill ."

" but," remonstrated Jacobus, "ef ye ain't----"

" bring me your bill ! " said Mr Brede .

* * * * *

my wife and I went out for_our morning's walk . but it seemed to_us, when we looked at " our view," as if_we_could only see those invisible villages of_which Brede had told us-- that other side of_the ridges and rises of_which we catch no glimpse from lofty hills or from_the heights of human self- esteem . we meant to stay out until the Bredes had taken their departure; but we returned just in_time to_see Pete, the Jacobus darkey, the blacker of boots, the brasher of coats, the general handy- man of_the house, loading the Brede trunks on_the Jacobus wagon .

and, as_we stepped upon_the verandah, down came Mrs Brede, leaning on Mr Brede's arm, as_though she were ill; and it_was clear that she had_been crying . there were heavy rings about her pretty black eyes .

my wife took a step toward her .

" look at_that dress, dear," she whispered; " she never thought anything like this_was going to happen when she put that on ."

it_was a pretty, delicate, dainty dress, a graceful, narrow- striped affair . her hat was trimmed with a narrow- striped silk of_the same colors-- maroon and white-- and in her hand she held a parasol that matched her dress .

" she's had a new dress on twice a day," said my wife, " but that's the prettiest yet .Oh, somehow--I'm awfully sorry they're going ! "

but going they were . they moved toward the steps .Mrs Brede looked toward my wife, and my wife moved toward Mrs Brede . but the ostracized woman, as_though she felt the deep humiliation of her position, turned sharply away, and opened her parasol to shield her eyes from_the sun .a shower of rice--a half- pound shower of rice--fell down over her pretty hat and her pretty dress, and fell in aspattering circle on_the floor, outlining her skirts-- and there it lay in a broad, uneven band, bright in_the morning sun .

Mrs Brede was in my wife's arms, sobbing as_if her young heart would break .

"Oh, you poor, dear, silly children ! " my wife cried, as Mrs Brede sobbed on her shoulder, " why didn't you tell us ? "

"W-W-W- we didn't want to_be t-t- taken for ab-b-b-b- bridal couple," sobbed Mrs Brede; " and we d-d-didn't dream what awful lies we'd have to_tell, and all the aw- awful mixed- up-ness of it .Oh, dear, dear, dear ! "

* * * * *

"Pete ! " commanded Mr Jacobus, " put back them trunks . these folks stays here's long's they wants ter .Mr Brede"-- he held out a large, hard hand--"I'd orter've known better," he_said . and my last doubt of Mr Brede vanished as he shook that grimy hand in manly fashion .

the two women were walking off toward " our view," each with an arm about_the other's waist-- touched by a sudden sisterhood of sympathy .

" gentlemen," said Mr Brede, addressing Jacobus, Biggle, the major and me, " there_is ahostelry down the street where they sell honest New_Jersey beer .I recognize the obligations of_the situation ."

we five men filed down the street . the two women went toward the pleasant slope where the sunlight gilded the forehead of_the great hill . on Mr Jacobus's veranda lay a spattered circle of shining grains of rice . two of Mr Jacobus's pigeons flew down and picked up the shining grains, making grateful noises far down in their throats .