Oz 16: Kabumpo in Oz by Ruth Plumly Thompson
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much headway," sighed the Cottabus, shaking its head solemnly ." now, don't ask me why," it added lugubriously, dragging its rocker back into_the brush, and while Kabumpo and Pompa stared in amazement it wriggled away into_the bushes .

" come on," cried Kabumpo with a contemptuous grunt, but he had only gone a few steps when_the curious Cottabus stuck its head out of an opening in_the trees just ahead ." when are_you coming back ? " it asked, twitching its nose anxiously .

" never ! " trumpeted Kabumpo, increasing his speed . again the Cottabus disappeared, only to reappear at_the first turn in_the road .

" did you say the door knob hit you on_the head ? " it asked pleadingly .

Kabumpo gave a snort of anger and rushed along so fast that Pompa had to hang on for dear life .

" guess we've left him behind this_time," spluttered the elegant elephant, after he had run almost a mile .

but at_that minute there_was a wheeze from_the underbrush and_the head of_the Cottabus was thrust out . its tongue was hanging out and it_was panting with exhaustion ." how old are_you ? " it gasped, rolling its eyes pitifully ." who was your grandfather on_your father's side, and was he bald ? "

"Kerumberty Bumpus ! " raged the elegant elephant, flouncing to_the other side of_the road .

" but why was_the door knob in_the cake ? " gulped the Cottabus, two tears trickling off its nose .

" how should we_know," said Pompa coldly .

" then just tell me the date of your birth," wailed the Cottabus, two tears trickling off its nose .

" no ! no ! " screamed Kabumpo, and this_time he ran so fast that_the tearful voice of_the Cottabus became fainter and fainter and finally died away altogether .

"Provokingest creature I've ever met," grumbled the elegant elephant, and this_time Pompa agreed with_him .

"Isn't it almost lunch time ? " asked the prince . he_was beginning to_feel terribly hungry .

" and aren't there any villages or cities between here and_the emerald city ? " Pompa spoke again .

"Don't know," wheezed Kabumpo, swinging ahead .

"Oh ! there's a flag ! " cried Pompa suddenly ." it's flying above the tree tops just ahead ."

and so it_was-- a huge, flapping black flag covered with hundreds of figures and signs .

" hurry up, Kabumpo," urged the prince ." this looks interesting ."

chapter 5 in_the city of_the figure Heads

" it reminds me of something disagreeable," answered Kabumpo, as he eyed the flag . nevertheless he quickened his steps and in a moment they came to aclearing in_the forest, surrounded by a tall black picket fence . the_only_thing visible above the fence was_the strange black flag, and as_the forest on either side was too dense to penetrate and there seemed to_be no way around, Kabumpo thumped loudly on_the center gate .

it_was flung open at once, so suddenly that Kabumpo, who had his head pressed against the bars fell on_his knees and shot Pompadore clear over his head . altogether it_was a very undignified entrance .

"Oh ! Oh ! now we_shall_have some fun ! " screamed a high, thin voice, and immediately the cry was taken up by hundreds of other voices .a perfect swarm of strange creatures surrounded the two travelers . the elegant elephant took one look, put back his ears and snatched Pompa from_the paving stones .

" stop that ! " he rumbled threateningly ." who_are you anyway ? " the crowd paid no attention to_the elegant elephant's question, but continued to dance up and down and scream with glee .Clutching Kabumpo's ear, Pompa peered down with many misgivings . they were entirely surrounded by thin, spry little people, who had figures instead of heads, and_the fours, eighths, sevens and ciphers hobbling up and down made it terribly confusing .

" let's go ! " said Pompa, who was growing dizzier every_minute . but the figure heads were wedged so closely around them Kabumpo could_not move and_they were shouting so lustily that_the elegant elephant's voice was drowned in_the hubbub . finally, Kabumpo's eyes began to snap angrily and, taking a deep breath, he threw up his trunk and trumpeted like fifty ferry- boat whistles . the effect was immediate and astonishing . half of_the figure Heads fell on their faces, and_the other half fell on their backs and stared vacantly up at_the sky .

" conduct us to your ruler ! " roared Kabumpo in_the dead silence that followed ." how'd you_know we had a ruler ? " asked aSeven, getting cautiously to its feet ." most countries have," said the elegant elephant shortly ." he's got no right to order us around," said aSix, sitting up and jerking its thumb at Kabumpo .

" yes-- but ! " Seven frowned at Six and put his hands over his ears ." this_way," he_said gruffly, and Kabumpo, stepping carefully, for many_of_the figure Heads were still on their backs, followed Seven .

if_the inhabitants of_this strange city were queer, their city was even more so . the air was dry and choky and_the houses were dull, oblong affairs, set in rows and rows with never a garden in sight . each street had a large signpost on_the corner, but they were_not at all like the signs one usually sees in cities . for_these were plus and minus signs with here and there a long division sign .

"I suppose everything in_this street's divided up," mumbled Pompadore, looking up at a division sign curiously .

" hope they don't subtract any of_our belongings," whispered Kabumpo, as_they turned into minus alley ." look, Pompa, at_the houses . ever see anything like 'em before ? "

" they remind me of something disagreeable," mused the prince ." why, they're books, Kabumpo, great big arithmetic books ! " Pompa pointed at one .

" you mean they_are shaped like books," said the elegant elephant ."I never saw books with windows and doors ! "

"A lot you_know ! " said Seven, looking back scornfully, but Kabumpo was too interested to . care . out_of_the windows of_the big book houses leaped hundreds of_the little figure Heads, and_they laughed and jeered at Pompa and Kabumpo ."Ho ! Ho ! " yelled one, leaning out so_far it nearly fell on its Eight ." wait till the count sees 'em . he'll make an example of 'em ! "

" what an awful country," whispered Pompadore, ducking just in_time, as aFour snatched at his hair from an open window . but just then they turned a corner and entered a large gloomy court .Sitting on a square and solid wood throne, surrounded by a guard of figure Heads, sat the giant ruler of_this strange city ." what have_you got there, seven ? " roared the ruler .

" I_am the elegant elephant and this_is_the prince of Pumperdink," announced Kabumpo before Seven could answer .Pompadore, him- self, could_say nothing for he had never before been addressed by a wooden ruler in_his life and_that is exactly what the king of_the figure heads was-- an ordinary school ruler, twice as large as a man, with arms and legs and a great square head set atop of_his thin flat body .

"I don't care arap who you_are . i_want to_know what you_are ? " said the ruler ." we_are travelers," spoke up Pompa, swallowing hard-"travelers in search of a proper princess ."

" well, you won't find any here," grunted the ruler shortly ." we don't believe in 'em ! "

" would you mind telling me the name of your kingdom," asked Pompa, somewhat cast down by_these words .

" you_have no heads," announced the ruler calmly, " or you_would_have known that_this_is Rith Metic .I," he hammered himself upon_the wooden chest-- " I_am its ruler and every inch a king- king of_the figure Heads," he added, glancing around as_if he expected someone to contradict him ." all right ! all right ! " wheezed Kabumpo, bowing his head twice ." I_knew twelve inches made a foot rule, but I never knew they made a king rule . but could you give_us some luncheon and allow us to_pass peaceably through your kingdom ? "

" pass through ! " exclaimed the king, standing up indignantly ." we don't pass anyone through here . you've got to work your way through . pass through, indeed ! and when_you've worked your way through we'll put you in a problem and make an example of you ."

" they'll make a very_good example, your majesty," said a tall thin individual standing next to_the ruler . he eyed the two cunningly .

" if a thin prince sets out on a fat elephant to_find a proper princess, how_many yards of fringe will the elephant lose from_his robe and how bald will the prince be at_the end of_the journey ? I don't believe anyone could figure " it might_be done by subtraction," said the king, looking at_the two critically .

" great hay stacks ! " rumbled Kabumpo, glaring over his shoulder to_see if he had lost any fringe so_far ." what have we gotten into ? "

" bald ! " gulped Pompa, rubbing his head ." do_you_mean to_say you take poor innocent travelers and make them into arithmetic problems ? "

" why_not ? " said the thin one, who looked exactly like a giant lead pencil ." and please address me as count, after_this- count it up is my name . what's the matter with living in a problem, my boy ? life is a problem, after all, and you_will get used to_it in_time .I'll try to assign you to a comfortable book and you'll find book-keeping alot more simple than house-keeping . this_way, please ! "

" please go," yawned the ruler, waving his hand ." the count will take you in charge now ." and so dazed was_the elegant elephant by all this strange reasoning that he tamely followed the lead pencil person .

" good-bye ! " shouted the ruler hoarsely ." start them on simple additions," he_said as_they moved off .

the street ahead was filled with figure Heads and as Kabumpo paused they began forming themselves into sums . the first row sat down, the next knelt behind them, the third stood up, the fourth nimbly leaped upon_the shoulders of_the third, and so on, until a long addition confronted the travelers .

" now," said count it up in_his blunt way, as_you haven't figures for heads, let_us_see if_you_have heads for figures ." Kabumpo pushed back his pearl headdress and drops of perspiration began to run down his trunk . prince Pompa, lying flat on Kabumpo's head, started to add up the first line of figures ."Eighty- three," he announced anxiously .

" say three and eight to carry, snapped count it up ." here, three ! " a three stepped out_of_the crowd and placed itself under the line ."I've got to_be carried ! " cried Eight, looking sulkily at Pompa .

" carried ! " snorted Kabumpo, snatching Eight into_the air ." well, I'll attend to_you . you do_the adding, Pompa, and I'll do_the carrying ."

he landed the Eight head down at_the bottom of_the line of figure Heads and swung his trunk carelessly while he waited for_his next victim . so, slowly and painfully, Pompa counted up the long lines and Kabumpo carried and if_they made the slightest mistake the figure Heads shouted with scorn and danced about till the confusion was terrible . when an example was finished, the figure Heads in_it marched away but another would immediately form lines ahead so_that it took them a whole hour to_go two blocks .

"Oh ! " groaned Pompa at last, " we'll never get through_this, Kabumpo . look at those awful fractions ahead ! can't I skip fractions ? " he asked looking pleadingly at count it up .

" certainly not ! " said the pencilly man stroking his shiny hair, which_was straight and black and grew up into a sharp point ." you shall skip nothing ! "

" that gives me an idea," whispered Kabumpo huskily ." why shouldn't we skip altogether ? we're bigger than they_are . why-"

" how are_you getting on ? " at_the sound of_that hoarse, familiar voice both the prince and Kabumpo jumped .

" you don't mind me asking, I_hope ? " Clinging to_the high picket fence and looking anxiously through_the bars was_the curious Cottabus .

" have_you found the greatest common divisor yet ? "

" who's he ? " asked the elegant elephant suspiciously .

"Isn't there any_way out of Rith Metic but this ? " wailed Pompa, looking at_the Cottabus pleadingly . he_was too tired to mind being questioned .

the curious beast was delighted to_have this new opportunity to_talk to_the travelers .

" will_you answer a few questions if I tell you ? " asked the Cottabus, raising itself with great difficulty and looking over the palings .

" yes- yes- anything," promised Pompa .

" do_you care for strawberry tarts ? " asked the Cottabus, twitching its nose very rapidly .

" of_course," said the prince ."Oh ! do hurry . count it up will_be back in a moment ! " he had run ahead to arrange a new problem and_the rest of_the figure Heads paid no attention to_the queer creature clinging to_the palings .

" are_you going to invite the Scarecrow to your wedding ? " gulped the Cottabus .

"I don't know any scarecrow," said Pompa, " so how could I ? "

" are_you fond of_that old elephant ? " the Cottabus waved at Kabumpo, who stamped first one foot then another and fairly snorted with rage .

" all right," sighed the curious Cottabus, " that makes my fifty questions ."

Hanging on to_the fence with one paw it waved the other backward and forward as it chanted:

" how_many tics in Rith Metic ? tell me that and tell me quick ! but if_you_can't it's not my fault, so simply turn awintersault ! "

the head of_the Cottabus disappeared .

" now isn't that provoking," gulped the prince ." after it promised to help_us, too ! "

"I meant summersault," wheezed the Cottabus, reappearing suddenly- " and if_you_can't it's not your fault, so simply turn asummersault ! "

it recited dolefully, and losing its balance fell off the fence and landed with a thud on_the ground below .

" here ! hurry along" scolded count it up, prodding Kabumpo with a sharp pencil ." the next is a nice little problem in fractions ."

"I wonder if_it meant anything ? " mused Pompadore, as Kabumpo approached the new problem ." ' if_you_can't it's not your fault, so simply turn asummersault .' anyway it wouldn't hurt to_try . stop a minute, Kabumpo ! "

Sliding down the elegant elephant's trunk, the prince put his head on_the ground and very carefully and deliberately turned a somersault . at his first motion count it up gave adeafening scream, fell on_his head and broke off his point, while the figure Heads began to run in every direction .

" do_it again ! do_it again ! " cried Kabumpo joyfully . so Pompa turned another somersault and another, and another,

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