The Hotel Experience of Mr. Pink Fluker by Richard Malcolm Johnston
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the hotel experience of Mr pink Fluker

by Richard Malcolm Johnston (1822-1898)

[ from_the century Magazine_, June, 1886; copyright, 1886, by_the century Co .; republished in_the volume, Mr .Absalom Billingslea, and other Georgia folk (1888), by Richard Malcolm Johnston ( harper & Brothers) .]

I

Mr Peterson Fluker, generally called pink, for_his fondness for as stylish dressing as he_could afford, was one of_that sort of men who habitually seem busy and efficient when they_are_not . he had the bustling activity often noticeable in men of_his size, and in one_way and another had made up, as he believed, for being so_much smaller than most of_his adult acquaintance of_the male sex . prominent among his achievements on_that line was getting married to a woman who, among other excellent gifts, had that of being twice as big as her husband .

" fool who ? " on_the day after his marriage he had asked, with a look at those who had often said that he_was too little to_have a wife .

they had a little property to_begin with, a couple of hundreds of acres, and two_or_three negroes apiece . yet, except in_the natural increase of_the latter, the accretions of worldly estate had_been inconsiderable till now, when their oldest child, Marann, was some fifteen years old . these accretions had_been saved and taken care of by Mrs Fluker, who was as staid and silent as he_was Mobile and voluble .

Mr Fluker often said that_it puzzled him how it was_that he_made smaller crops than most of_his neighbors, when, if_not always convincing, he_could generally put every_one_of_them to silence in discussions upon agricultural topics . this puzzle had led him to not unfrequent ruminations in_his mind as_to whether or not his vocation might lie in something higher than_the mere tilling of_the ground . these ruminations had lately taken a definite direction, and it_was after several conversations which he had held with_his friend Matt pike .

Mr Matt pike was a bachelor of some thirty summers, aforetime clerk consecutively in each of_the two stores of_the village, but latterly a trader on a limited scale in horses, wagons, cows, and similar objects of commerce, and at all times a politician . his hopes of holding office had_been continually disappointed until Mr John Sanks became sheriff, and rewarded with adeputyship some important special service rendered by him in_the late very close canvass . now was a chance to rise, Mr pike thought . all he_wanted, he had often said, was a start . politics, i_would remark, however, had_been regarded by_Mr pike as ameans rather than an end . it_is doubtful if he hoped to_become governor of_the state, at_least before an advanced period in_his career . his main object now was to_get money, and he believed that official position would promote him in_the line of_his ambition faster than was possible to any private station, by leading him into more extensive acquaintance with mankind, their needs, their desires, and their caprices .a deputy sheriff, provided that lawyers were_not too indulgent in allowing acknowledgment of service of court processes, in postponing levies and sales, and in settlement of litigated cases, might pick up three hundred dollars, a good sum for_those times, a fact which Mr pike had known and pondered long .

it happened just about then that_the arrears of rent for_the village hotel had so accumulated on Mr Spouter, the last occupant, that_the owner, an indulgent man, finally had said, what he had_been expected for years and years to_say, that he_could_not wait on Mr Spouter forever and eternally . it_was at_this very nick, so to_speak, that Mr pike made to Mr Fluker the suggestion to quit a business so_far beneath his powers, sell out, or rent out, or tenant out, or do something else with_his farm, march into town, plant himself upon_the ruins of Jacob Spouter, and begin his upward soar .

now Mr Fluker had many and many a time acknowledged that he had ambition; so one night he_said to_his wife:

" you_see how it_is here, Nervy .Farmin' somehow don't suit my talons . I_need to_be flung more 'mong people to fetch out what's in me . then thar's Marann, which_is gittin' to_be nigh on to agrowd- up woman; an' the child need the s'iety which you 'bleeged to acknowledge is sca'ce about here, six mile from town . your brer Sam can stay here an' raise butter, chickens, eggs, pigs, an'-- an'-- an' so forth .Matt pike say he jes' know they's money in_it, an' special with a housekeeper keerful an' equinomical like you ."

it_is always curious the extent of influence that some men have upon wives who_are their superiors .Mrs Fluker, in_spite of accidents, had ever set upon her husband a value that was not recognized outside of_his family . in_this respect there seems asurprising compensation in human life . but this remark I make only in passing .Mrs Fluker, admitting in her heart that farming was not her husband's forte, hoped, like a true wife, that_it might_be found in_the new field to_which he aspired . besides, she did_not forget that her brother Sam had said to her several_times privately that if his brer pink wouldn't have so_many notions and would let him alone in_his management, they_would all do better . she reflected for a day_or_two, and then said:

" maybe it's best, Mr Fluker .I'm willin' to_try it for a year, anyhow . we_can't lose much by_that . as for Matt pike, I hain't the confidence in him you has . still, he bein' a boarder and deputy sheriff, he might accidentally do us some good .I'll try it for a year providin' you'll fetch me the money as it's paid in, for you_know I_know how to manage that better'n you_do, and you_know I'll try to manage it and all the rest of_the business for_the best ."

to_this provision Mr Fluker gave consent, qualified by_the claim that he_was to retain a small margin for indispensable personal exigencies . for he contended, perhaps with justice, that no man in_the responsible position he_was about to_take ought_to_be expected to_go about, or sit about, or even lounge about, without even a continental red in_his pocket .

the new house-- I_say new because tongue could_not tell the amount of scouring, scalding, and whitewashing that that excellent housekeeper had done before a single stick of her furniture went into_it-- the new house, I repeat, opened with six eating boarders at ten dollars a month apiece, and two eating and sleeping at eleven, besides Mr pike, who_made a special contract . transient custom was hoped to hold its own, and_that of_the county people under the deputy's patronage and influence to_be considerably enlarged .

in words and other encouragement Mr pike was pronounced . he_could commend honestly, and he_did so cordially .

" the thing to_do, pink, is to_have your prices reg'lar, and make people pay up reg'lar .Ten dollars for eatin', jes' so; eleb'n for eatin' an_' sleepin'; half a dollar for dinner, jes' so; quarter apiece for breakfast, supper, and bed, is what I call reason'ble bo'd . as for_me, I sca'cely know how to rig' late, because, you_know, I'm a' officer now, an' in course I natchel has_to be away sometimes an' on expenses at ' tother places, an' it seem like some 'lowance ought by good rights to_be made for_that; don't you_think so ? "

" why, matter o' course, Matt; what you_think ? I ain't so powerful good at figgers .Nervy is .S'posen you speak to her ' bout it ."

"Oh, that's perfec' unuseless, pink .I'm a' officer o' the law, pink, an' the law consider women-- well, I_may say the law, she deal 'ith _men_, not women, an' she expect her officers to understan' figgers, an' if I hadn't o' understood figgers Mr Sanks wouldn't or darsnt' to 'p'int me his dep'ty . me 'n' you_can fix them terms . now see here, reg'lar bo'd--eatin' bo'd, I mean-- is ten dollars, an' sleepin' and singuil meals is 'cordin' to_the figgers you've sot for 'em .Ain't that so ? Jes' so . now, pink, you an' me'll keep arunnin' account, you a-chargin' for reg'lar bo'd, an' I a'lowin' to myself credics for_my absentees, accordin' to transion customers an' singuil mealers an' sleepers . is_that fa'r, er is_it not fa'r ? "

Mr Fluker turned his head, and after making or thinking he had made a calculation, answered:

" that's-- that seem fa'r, Matt ."

"Cert'nly 'tis, pink; I knowed you'd say so, an' you_know I'd never wish to_be nothin' but fa'r 'ith people I like, like I do_you an' your wife . let that be the understandin', then, betwix' us . an' pink, let the understandin' be jes' betwix' us_, for I've saw enough o' this world to_find out that a man never makes nothin' by makin' ablowin' horn o' his business . you make_the t'others pay up spuntial, monthly . you 'n' me can settle whensomever it's convenant, say three months from to- day . in course I_shall talk up for_the house whensomever and wharsomever I go or stay . you_know that . an' as for_my bed," said Mr pike finally, "whensomever I ain't here by bed- time, you welcome to_put any transion person in_it, an' also an' likewise, when transion custom is pressin', and you cramped for beddin', I'm willin' to_give it up for_the_time bein'; an' rather'n you_should_be cramped too bad, I'll take my chances somewhars else, even if I has to_take a pallet at_the head o' the sta'r-steps ."

"Nervy," said Mr Fluker to_his wife afterwards, "Matt pike's asensibler an' a friendlier an' a'commodatiner feller'n i_thought ."

then, without giving details of_the contract, he_mentioned merely the willingness of_their boarder to resign his bed on occasions of pressing emergency .

" he's talked mighty fine to_me and Marann," answered Mrs Fluker ." we'll see how he holds out . one_thing I_do_not like of_his doin', an' that's the talkin' ' bout Sim Marchman to Marann, an' makin' game o' his country ways, as he call 'em .Sech as_that ain't right ."

it may_be as_well to explain just here that Simeon Marchman, the person just named by Mrs Fluker, a stout, industrious young farmer, residing with_his parents in_the country near by where the Flukers had dwelt before removing to town, had_been eying Marann for a year or two, and waiting upon her fast-ripening womanhood with intentions that, he believed to_be hidden in_his own breast, though he had taken less pains to conceal them from Marann than from_the rest of_his acquaintance . not that he had ever told her of_them in so_many words, but--Oh, I_need not stop here in_the midst of_this narration to explain how such intentions become known, or at_least strongly suspected by girls, even those less bright than Marann Fluker .Simeon had_not cordially indorsed the movement into town, though, of_course, knowing it_was none of_his business, he had never so_much as hinted opposition .I would_not_be surprised, also, if he reflected that there_might_be some selfishness in_his hostility, or at_least that_it_was heightened by apprehensions personal to himself .

Considering the want of experience in_the new tenants, matters went on remarkably well .Mrs Fluker, accustomed to rise from her couch long before_the lark, managed to_the satisfaction of all,-- regular boarders, single- meal takers, and transient people .Marann went to_the village school, her mother dressing her, though with prudent economy, as neatly and almost as tastefully as any of her schoolmates; while, as_to study, deportment, and general progress, there_was not a girl in_the whole school to beat her, I don't care who she was .

II

during a not inconsiderable period Mr Fluker indulged the honorable conviction that at last he had found the vein in_which his best talents lay, and he_was happy in foresight of_the prosperity and felicity which that discovery promised to himself and_his family . his native activity found many more objects for its exertion than before . he rode out to_the farm, not often, but sometimes, as a matter of duty, and was forced to acknowledge that Sam was managing better than could_have_been expected in_the absence of_his own continuous guidance . in town he walked about_the hotel, entertained the guests, carved at_the meals, hovered about_the stores, the doctors' offices, the wagon and blacksmith shops, discussed mercantile, medical, mechanical questions with specialists in all these departments, throwing into them all more and more of politics as_the intimacy between him and_his patron and chief boarder increased .

now as_to_that patron and chief boarder . the need of extending his acquaintance seemed to press upon Mr pike with ever-increasing weight . he_was here and there, all over the county; at_the county- seat, at_the county villages, at justices' courts, at executors' and administrators' sales, at quarterly and protracted religious meetings, at barbecues of every dimension, on hunting excursions and fishing frolics, at social parties in all neighborhoods . it got to_be said of Mr pike that a freer acceptor of hospitable invitations, or a better appreciator of hospitable intentions, was not and needed not to_be found possibly in_the whole state . nor was_this admirable deportment confined to_the county in_which he held so high official position . he attended, among other occasions less public, the spring sessions of_the supreme and county courts in_the four adjoining counties: the guest of acquaintance old and new over there . when starting upon_such travels, he_would sometimes breakfast with_his traveling companion in_the village, and, if somewhat belated in_the return, sup with_him also .

yet, when at Flukers', no man could_have_been a more cheerful and otherwise satisfactory boarder than Mr Matt pike . he praised every dish set before him, bragged to_their very faces of_his host and hostess, and in_spite of_his absences was_the oftenest to sit and chat with Marann when her mother would let her go into_the parlor . here and everywhere about_the house, in_the dining- room, in_the passage, at_the foot of_the stairs, he_would joke with Marann about her country beau, as he styled poor Sim Marchman, and he_would talk as_though he_was rather ashamed of Sim, and wanted Marann to string her bow for higher game .

Brer Sam did manage well, not_only the fields, but the yard . every Saturday of_the world he sent in something or other to_his sister .I don't know whether I ought to_tell it or not, but for_the sake of what_is due to pure veracity i_will . on as_many as three different occasions Sim Marchman, as_if he had lost all self- respect, or had_not a particle of tact, brought in himself, instead of sending by a Negro, a bucket of butter and a coop of spring chickens as a free gift to Mrs Fluker . I_do think, on my soul, that Mr Matt pike was much amused by such degradation-- however, he_must say that_they were all first- rate . as for Marann, she was very sorry

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