The Duplicity of Hargraves by O. Henry
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the duplicity of Hargraves

by O .Henry (1862-1910)

[ from_the junior Munsey_, February, 1902 .Republished in_the volume, _Sixes and Sevens (1911), by O .Henry; copyright, 1911, by Doubleday, page & Co .; reprinted by their permission .]

when major Pendleton Talbot, of Mobile, sir, and_his daughter, miss Lydia Talbot, came to Washington to reside, they selected for aboarding place a house that stood fifty yards back from one_of_the quietest avenues . it_was an old- fashioned brick building, with a portico upheld by tall white pillars . the yard was shaded by stately locusts and elms, and a catalpa tree in season rained its pink and white blossoms upon_the grass .Rows of high box bushes lined the fence and walks . it was_the southern style and aspect of_the place that pleased the eyes of_the Talbots .

in_this pleasant private boarding house they engaged rooms, including a study for major Talbot, who was adding the finishing chapters to_his book, Anecdotes and Reminiscences of_the Alabama army, bench, and bar .

major Talbot was of_the old, old south . the present day had little interest or excellence in_his eyes . his mind lived in_that period before_the civil war when_the Talbots owned thousands of acres of fine cotton land and_the slaves to till them; when_the family mansion was_the scene of princely hospitality, and drew its guests from_the aristocracy of_the south . out of_that period he had brought all its old pride and scruples of honor, an antiquated and punctilious politeness, and ( you_would think) its wardrobe .

such clothes were surely never made within fifty years . the major was tall, but whenever he_made that wonderful, archaic genuflexion he_called a bow, the corners of_his frock coat swept the floor . that garment was a surprise even to Washington, which_has long_ago ceased to shy at_the frocks and broad- brimmed hats of southern Congressmen . one_of_the boarders christened it a" father Hubbard," and it certainly was high in_the waist and full in_the skirt .

but the major, with all his queer clothes, his immense area of plaited, raveling shirt bosom, and_the little black string tie with_the bow always slipping on one side, both was smiled at and liked in Mrs Vardeman's select boarding house . some_of_the young department clerks would often " string him," as_they called it, getting him started upon_the_subject dearest to him-- the traditions and history of_his beloved Southland . during his talks he_would quote freely from_the _Anecdotes and Reminiscences . but they were very careful not to let him see their designs, for in_spite of_his sixty-eight years he_could make_the boldest of_them uncomfortable under the steady regard of_his piercing gray eyes .

miss Lydia was a plump, little old maid of thirty-five, with smoothly drawn, tightly twisted hair that made her look still older . old- fashioned, too, she was; but antebellum glory did_not radiate from her as it did from_the major . she possessed a thrifty common sense, and it_was she who handled the finances of_the family, and met all comers when there were bills to_pay . the major regarded board bills and wash bills as contemptible nuisances . they kept coming in so persistently and so often . why, the major wanted to_know, could they not be filed and paid in a lump sum at some convenient period-- say when_the Anecdotes and Reminiscences had_been published and paid for ? miss Lydia would calmly go on with her sewing and say, " we'll pay as_we go as long as_the money lasts, and then perhaps they'll have to lump it ."

most of Mrs Vardeman's boarders were away during the day, being nearly all department clerks and business men; but there_was one_of_them who was about_the house a great deal from morning to night . this_was a young man named Henry Hopkins Hargraves-- every_one in_the house addressed him by his full name-- who was engaged at one_of_the popular vaudeville theaters . vaudeville has risen to such a respectable plane in_the last few years, and Mr Hargraves was such a modest and well- mannered person, that Mrs Vardeman could find no objection to enrolling him upon her list of boarders .

at_the theater Hargraves was known as an all- round dialect comedian, having a large repertoire of German, Irish, Swede, and black- face specialties . but Mr Hargraves was ambitious, and often spoke of_his great desire to succeed in legitimate comedy .

this young man appeared to conceive a strong fancy for major Talbot . whenever that gentleman would begin his southern reminiscences, or repeat some_of_the liveliest of_the anecdotes, Hargraves could always be found, the most attentive among his listeners .

for a time the major showed an inclination to discourage the advances of_the " play actor," as he privately termed him; but soon the young man's agreeable manner and indubitable appreciation of_the old gentleman's stories completely won him over .

it_was not long before_the two were like old chums . the major set apart each afternoon to read to him the manuscript of_his book . during the anecdotes Hargraves never failed to laugh at exactly the right point . the major was moved to declare to miss Lydia one day that young Hargraves possessed remarkable perception and agratifying respect for_the old regime . and when it came to talking of_those old days-- if major Talbot liked to_talk, Mr Hargraves was entranced to listen .

like almost all old people who talk of_the past, the major loved to linger over details . in describing the splendid, almost royal, days of_the old planters, he_would hesitate until he had recalled the name of_the Negro who held his horse, or the exact date of certain minor happenings, or the number of bales of cotton raised in_such a year; but Hargraves never grew impatient or lost interest . on_the contrary, he_would advance questions on a variety of subjects connected with_the life of_that_time, and he never failed to extract ready replies .

the fox hunts, the ' possum suppers, the hoe-downs and jubilees in_the Negro quarters, the banquets in_the plantation- house hall, when invitations went for fifty miles around; the occasional feuds with_the neighboring gentry; the major's duel with Rathbone Culbertson about Kitty Chalmers, who afterward married aThwaite of South_Carolina; and private yacht races for fabulous sums on Mobile Bay; the quaint beliefs, improvident habits, and loyal virtues of_the old slaves-- all these were subjects that held both the major and Hargraves absorbed for hours at_a_time .

Sometimes, at night, when_the young man would_be coming upstairs to_his room after his turn at_the theater was over, the major would appear at_the door of_his study and beckon archly to him . going in, Hargraves would find a little table set with a decanter, sugar bowl, fruit, and a big bunch of fresh green mint .

" it occurred to_me," the major would begin-- he_was always ceremonious--" that perhaps you might_have found your duties at_the-- at your place of occupation--sufficiently arduous to enable you, Mr Hargraves, to appreciate what the poet might well have_had in_his mind when he wrote, ' tired nature's sweet restorer'-- one_of_our southern juleps ."

it_was a fascination to Hargraves to watch him make it . he_took rank among artists when he began, and he never varied the process . with what delicacy he bruised the mint; with what exquisite nicety he estimated the ingredients; with what solicitous care he capped the compound with_the scarlet fruit glowing against the dark green fringe ! and then the hospitality and grace with_which he offered it, after_the selected oat straws had_been plunged into its tinkling depths !

after about four months in Washington, miss Lydia discovered one morning that_they were almost without money . the Anecdotes and Reminiscences was completed, but publishers had_not jumped at_the collected gems of Alabama sense and wit . the rental of a small house which they still owned in Mobile was two months in arrears . their board money for_the month would_be due in three days . miss Lydia called her father to aconsultation .

" no money ? " said he with a surprised look ." it_is quite annoying to_be called on so frequently for_these petty sums, really, I--"

the major searched his pockets . he_found only a two- dollar bill, which he returned to_his vest pocket .

" I_must attend to_this at once, Lydia," he_said ." kindly get me my umbrella and_I_will go downtown immediately . the congressman from_our district, general Fulghum, assured me some days_ago that he_would use his influence to_get my book published at an early date . i_will go to_his hotel at once and_see what arrangement has_been made ."

with a sad little smile miss Lydia watched him button his " father Hubbard" and depart, pausing at_the door, as he always did, to bow profoundly .

that evening, at dark, he returned . it seemed that Congressman Fulghum had seen the publisher who had the major's manuscript for reading . that person had said that if_the anecdotes, etc ., were carefully pruned down about one- half, in_order to eliminate the sectional and class prejudice with_which the book was dyed from end to end, he might consider its publication .

the major was in a white heat of anger, but regained his equanimity, according to_his code of manners, as_soon_as he_was in miss Lydia's presence .

" we_must_have money," said miss Lydia, with a little wrinkle above her nose ." give_me the two dollars, and_I_will telegraph to uncle Ralph for some to- night ."

the major drew a small envelope from_his upper vest pocket and tossed it on_the table .

" perhaps it_was injudicious," he_said mildly, " but the sum was so merely nominal that I bought tickets to_the theater to- night . it's a new war drama, Lydia . i_thought you_would_be pleased to witness its first production in Washington . I_am told that_the south has very fair treatment in_the play .I confess i_should like to_see the performance myself ."

miss Lydia threw up her hands in silent despair .

still, as_the tickets were bought, they_might as_well be used . so_that evening, as_they sat in_the theater listening to_the lively overture, even miss Lydia was minded to relegate their troubles, for_the hour, to second place . the major, in spotless linen, with_his extraordinary coat showing only where it_was closely buttoned, and_his white hair smoothly roached, looked really fine and distinguished . the curtain went up on_the first act of a magnolia Flower_, revealing a typical southern plantation scene . major Talbot betrayed some interest .

"Oh, see ! " exclaimed miss Lydia, nudging his arm, and pointing to her program .

the major put on_his glasses and read the line in_the cast of characters that her fingers indicated .

Col . Webster Calhoun .. .. Mr Hopkins Hargraves .

" it's our Mr Hargraves," said miss Lydia ." it must_be his first appearance in what he calls ' the legitimate .' I'm so glad for him ."

not until the second act did Col . Webster Calhoun appear upon_the stage . when he_made his entry major Talbot gave an audible sniff, glared at him, and seemed to freeze solid . miss Lydia uttered a little, ambiguous squeak and crumpled her program in her hand . for colonel Calhoun was_made up as nearly resembling major Talbot as one pea does another . the long, thin white hair, curly at_the ends, the aristocratic beak of a nose, the crumpled, wide, raveling shirt front, the string tie, with_the bow nearly under one ear, were almost exactly duplicated . and then, to clinch the imitation, he wore the twin to_the major's supposed to_be unparalleled coat . high-collared, baggy, empire-waisted, ample- skirted, hanging a foot lower in front than behind, the garment could_have_been designed from no other pattern . from then on, the major and miss Lydia sat bewitched, and saw the counterfeit presentment of a haughty Talbot "dragged," as_the major afterward expressed it, " through_the slanderous mire of a corrupt stage ."

Mr Hargraves had used his opportunities well . he had caught the major's little idiosyncrasies of speech, accent, and intonation and_his pompous courtliness to perfection--exaggerating all to_the purpose of_the stage . when he performed that marvelous bow that_the major fondly imagined to_be the pink of all salutations, the audience sent forth a sudden round of hearty applause .

miss Lydia sat immovable, not daring to glance toward her father .Sometimes her hand next to him would_be laid against her cheek, as_if to conceal the smile which, in_spite of her disapproval, she_could_not entirely suppress .

the culmination of Hargraves audacious imitation took place in_the third act . the scene is where colonel Calhoun entertains a few of_the neighboring planters in_his " den ."

Standing at a table in_the center of_the stage, with_his friends grouped about him, he delivers that inimitable, rambling character monologue so famous in a magnolia Flower_, at_the same time that he deftly makes juleps for_the party .

major Talbot, sitting quietly, but white with indignation, heard his best stories retold, his pet theories and hobbies advanced and expanded, and_the dream of_the Anecdotes and Reminiscences served, exaggerated and garbled . his favorite narrative-- that of_his duel with Rathbone Culbertson-- was not omitted, and it_was delivered with more fire, egotism, and gusto than_the major himself put into_it .

the monologue concluded with a quaint, delicious, witty little lecture on_the art of concocting a julep, illustrated by_the act . here major Talbot's delicate but showy science was reproduced to a hair's breadth-- from_his dainty handling of_the fragrant weed--" the one- thousandth part of a grain too_much pressure, gentlemen, and you extract the bitterness, instead of_the aroma, of_this heaven- bestowed plant"-- to_his solicitous selection of_the oaten straws .

at_the close of_the scene the audience raised a tumultuous roar of appreciation . the portrayal of_the type was so exact, so sure and thorough, that_the leading characters in_the play were forgotten . after repeated calls, Hargraves came before_the curtain and

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