The Unparalleled Advertures of One Hans Pfaal by Edgar Allan Poe
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the unparalleled Adventures of one Hans Pfaal {*1}

by Egdar Allan Poe

by late accounts from Rotterdam, that city seems_to_be in a high state of philosophical excitement . indeed, phenomena have there occurred of a nature so completely unexpected -- so entirely novel -- so utterly at variance with preconceived opinions -- as_to leave no_doubt on my mind that long ere this all Europe is in an uproar, all physics in a ferment, all reason and astronomy together by_the ears .

it appears that on_the -- -- day of -- -- ( I_am not positive about_the date), a vast crowd of people, for purposes not specifically mentioned, were assembled in_the great square of_the exchange in_the well- conditioned city of Rotterdam . the day was warm -- unusually so for_the season -- there_was hardly a breath of air stirring; and_the multitude were in no bad humor at being now_and_then besprinkled with friendly showers of momentary duration, that fell from large white masses of cloud which chequered in a fitful manner the blue vault of_the firmament . nevertheless, about noon, a slight but remarkable agitation became apparent in_the assembly: the clattering of ten thousand tongues succeeded; and, in an instant afterward, ten thousand faces were upturned toward the heavens, ten thousand pipes descended simultaneously from_the corners of ten thousand mouths, and a shout, which could_be compared to nothing but the roaring of Niagara, resounded long, loudly, and furiously, through all the environs of Rotterdam .

the origin of_this hubbub soon became sufficiently evident . from behind the huge bulk of one of_those sharply- defined masses of cloud already mentioned, was seen slowly to emerge into an open area of blue space, a queer, heterogeneous, but apparently solid substance, so oddly shaped, so whimsically put together, as not to_be in any manner comprehended, and never to_be sufficiently admired, by_the host of sturdy burghers who stood open- mouthed below . what could it be ? in_the name of all the vrows and devils in Rotterdam, what could it possibly portend ? no one knew, no one could imagine; no one -- not even the burgomaster Mynheer Superbus Von Underduk -- had the slightest clew by_which to unravel the mystery; so, as nothing more reasonable could_be_done, every_one to a man replaced his pipe carefully in_the corner of_his mouth, and cocking up his right eye towards the phenomenon, puffed, paused, waddled about, and grunted significantly -- then waddled back, grunted, paused, and finally -- puffed again .

in_the meantime, however, lower and still lower toward the goodly city, came the object of so_much curiosity, and_the cause of so_much smoke . in a very few_minutes it arrived near enough to_be accurately discerned . it appeared to_be -- yes ! it_was undoubtedly a species of balloon; but surely no such balloon had ever been seen in Rotterdam before . for who, let me ask, ever heard of a balloon manufactured entirely of dirty newspapers ? no man in Holland certainly; yet here, under the very noses of_the people, or rather at some distance above their noses was_the identical thing in_question, and composed, I_have it on_the best authority, of_the precise material which no one had ever before known to_be used for a similar purpose . it_was an egregious insult to_the good sense of_the burghers of Rotterdam . as_to_the shape of_the phenomenon, it_was even still more reprehensible . being little or nothing better than a huge foolscap turned upside down . and this similitude was regarded as by no means lessened when, upon nearer inspection, there_was perceived a large tassel depending from its apex, and, around the upper rim or base of_the cone, a circle of little instruments, resembling sheep-bells, which kept up a continual tinkling to_the tune of Betty Martin . but still worse . suspended by blue ribbons to_the end of_this fantastic machine, there hung, by way of car, an enormous drab beaver hat, with a brim superlatively broad, and a hemispherical crown with a black band and a silver buckle . it_is, however, somewhat remarkable that many citizens of Rotterdam swore to having seen the same hat repeatedly before; and indeed the whole assembly seemed to regard it with eyes of familiarity; while the vrow Grettel Pfaall, upon sight of it, uttered an exclamation of joyful surprise, and declared it to_be the identical hat of her good man himself . now this_was a circumstance the more to_be observed, as Pfaall, with three companions, had actually disappeared from Rotterdam about five years before, in a very sudden and unaccountable manner, and up_to_the date of_this narrative all attempts had failed of obtaining any intelligence concerning them whatsoever . to_be_sure, some bones which were thought to_be human, mixed up with a quantity of odd- looking rubbish, had_been lately discovered in a retired situation to_the east of Rotterdam, and some people went so_far as_to imagine that in_this spot a foul murder had_been committed, and_that the sufferers were in all probability Hans Pfaall and_his associates . but to return .

the balloon ( for such no_doubt it_was) had now descended to within a hundred feet of_the earth, allowing the crowd below asufficiently distinct view of_the person of_its occupant . this_was in truth a very droll little somebody . he_could_not have_been more than two feet in height; but this altitude, little as it_was, would_have_been sufficient to destroy his equilibrium, and tilt him over the edge of_his tiny car, but for_the intervention of a circular rim reaching as high as_the breast, and rigged on to_the cords of_the balloon . the body of_the little man was more than proportionately broad, giving to_his entire figure a rotundity highly absurd . his feet, of_course, could_not_be seen at all, although ahorny substance of suspicious nature was occasionally protruded through a rent in_the bottom of_the car, or to_speak more properly, in_the top of_the hat . his hands were enormously large . his hair was extremely gray, and collected in a cue behind . his nose was prodigiously long, crooked, and inflammatory; his eyes full, brilliant, and acute; his chin and cheeks, although wrinkled with age, were broad, puffy, and double; but of ears of any kind or character there_was not a semblance to_be discovered upon any portion of_his head . this odd little gentleman was dressed in a loose surtout of sky- blue satin, with tight breeches to match, fastened with silver buckles at_the knees . his vest was of some bright yellow material; a white taffety cap was set jauntily on one side of_his head; and, to complete his equipment, a blood- red silk handkerchief enveloped his throat, and fell down, in a dainty manner, upon his bosom, in a fantastic bow- knot of super- eminent dimensions .

Having descended, as I_said before, to about one hundred feet from_the surface of_the earth, the little old gentleman was suddenly seized with a fit of trepidation, and appeared disinclined to_make any nearer approach to terra firma .Throwing out, therefore, a quantity of sand from a canvas bag, which, he lifted with great difficulty, he became stationary in an instant . he then proceeded, in ahurried and agitated manner, to extract from a side- pocket in_his surtout a large morocco pocket- book . this he poised suspiciously in_his hand, then eyed it with an air of extreme surprise, and was evidently astonished at its weight . he at_length opened it, and drawing there from a huge letter sealed with red sealing- wax and tied carefully with red tape, let it fall precisely at_the feet of_the burgomaster, Superbus Von Underduk . his excellency stooped to_take it up . but the aeronaut, still greatly discomposed, and having apparently no farther business to detain him in Rotterdam, began at_this moment to_make busy preparations for departure; and it being necessary to discharge a portion of ballast to enable him to reascend, the half dozen bags which he threw out, one after another, without taking the trouble to empty their contents, tumbled, every_one_of_them, most unfortunately upon_the back of_the burgomaster, and rolled him over and over no less_than one- and-twenty times, in_the face of every man in Rotterdam . it_is_not to_be supposed, however, that_the great Underduk suffered this impertinence on_the_part of_the little old man to_pass off with impunity . it_is said, on_the contrary, that during each and every_one of_his one- and twenty circumvolutions he emitted no less_than one- and-twenty distinct and furious whiffs from_his pipe, to_which he held fast the whole time with all his might, and to_which he intends holding fast until the day of_his death .

in_the meantime the balloon arose like a lark, and, soaring far away above the city, at_length drifted quietly behind a cloud similar to_that from_which it had so oddly emerged, and was thus lost forever to_the wondering eyes of_the good citizens of Rotterdam . all attention was now directed to_the letter, the descent of_which, and_the consequences attending thereupon, had proved so fatally subversive of both person and personal dignity to_his excellency, the illustrious Burgomaster Mynheer Superbus Von Underduk . that functionary, however, had_not failed, during his circumgyratory movements, to bestow a thought upon_the important subject of securing the packet in_question, which_was seen, upon inspection, to_have fallen into_the most proper hands, being actually addressed to himself and professor rub-a-dub, in their official capacities of president and vice- president of_the Rotterdam college of astronomy . it_was accordingly opened by_those dignitaries upon_the spot, and found to contain the following extraordinary, and indeed very serious, communications .

to_their Excellencies Von Underduk and rub-a-dub, president and vice- president of_the States' college of Astronomers, in_the city of Rotterdam .

" your Excellencies may perhaps be_able to remember an humble artizan, by name Hans Pfaall, and by occupation amender of bellows, who, with three others, disappeared from Rotterdam, about five years_ago, in a manner which_must have_been considered by all parties at once sudden, and extremely unaccountable . if, however, it so please your Excellencies, I, the writer of_this communication, am the identical Hans Pfaall himself . it_is well known to most of_my fellow citizens, that for_the period of forty years I continued to occupy the little square brick building, at_the head of_the alley called Sauerkraut, in_which I resided at_the_time of_my disappearance . my ancestors have also resided therein time out of mind -- they, as_well as myself, steadily following the respectable and indeed lucrative profession of mending of bellows . for, to_speak the truth, until of late years, that_the heads of all the people have_been set agog with politics, no better business than my own could an honest citizen of Rotterdam either desire or deserve . credit was good, employment was never wanting, and on all hands there_was no lack of either money or good- will . but, as i_was saying, we soon began to_feel the effects of liberty and long speeches, and radicalism, and all that sort of thing . people who were formerly, the very best customers in_the_world, had now not a moment of_time to_think of us at all . they had, so they said, as_much as they_could do to read about_the revolutions, and keep up with_the march of intellect and_the spirit of_the age . if a fire wanted fanning, it could readily be fanned with a newspaper, and as_the government grew weaker, I_have no_doubt that leather and iron acquired durability in proportion, for, in a very short time, there_was not a pair of bellows in all Rotterdam that ever stood in need of a stitch or required the assistance of a hammer . this_was a state of things not to_be endured .I soon grew as poor as a rat, and, having a wife and children to_provide for, my burdens at_length became intolerable, and I spent hour after hour in reflecting upon_the most convenient method of putting an end to my life .Duns, in_the meantime, left me little leisure for contemplation . my house was literally besieged from morning till night, so_that I began to rave, and foam, and fret like a caged tiger against the bars of_his enclosure . there were three fellows in_particular who worried me beyond endurance, keeping watch continually about_my door, and threatening me with_the law . upon these three I internally vowed the bitterest revenge, if ever i_should_be so happy as to_get them within my clutches; and I believe nothing in_the_world but the pleasure of_this anticipation prevented me from putting my plan of suicide into immediate execution, by blowing my brains out with a blunderbuss . i_thought it best, however, to dissemble my wrath, and to treat them with promises and fair words, until, by some good turn of fate, an opportunity of vengeance should_be afforded me .

" one day, having given my creditors the slip, and feeling more than usually dejected, I continued for_a_long_time to wander about_the most obscure streets without object whatever, until at_length I chanced to stumble against the corner of a bookseller's stall .Seeing a chair close at hand, for_the use of customers, I threw myself doggedly into_it, and, hardly knowing why, opened the pages of_the first volume which came within my reach . it proved to_be a small pamphlet treatise on speculative astronomy, written either by professor Encke of Berlin or by aFrenchman of somewhat similar name .I had some little tincture of information on matters of_this nature, and soon became more and more absorbed in_the contents of_the book, reading it actually through twice before I awoke to a recollection of what_was passing around me . by_this_time it began to grow dark, and I directed my steps toward home . but the treatise had made an indelible impression on my mind, and, as I sauntered

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