Oz 18: Grandpa in Oz by Ruth Plumly Thompson
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come with_you, but it's my Daddy's birthday and we're having a party in_the sky ."

just as Polly came to " party," Grampa and_his army came to_the end of_the rainbow and tumbled off in fine style . none_of_them was hurt in_the tumble, and all scrambled to_their feet as quickly as they_could .

" good-bye, polychrome," called Urtha . she was_the only_one who had breath enough to_speak .

" good gracious," puffed the old soldier, " I_hope we've not broken your father's head ."

" well, if_it's not broken it's badly cracked," raged the king stuffily, from_the inside of_the bag ." if_you're going to fling me about like this I'll not stick with_you, do_you hear ? "

the adventurers smiled and silently put their fingers to_their lips, and king Fumbo decided that further protest was useless .

chapter 16

princess Dorothy Escapes

the two DAYS that Grampa and_his little army had_been adventuring in_the wizard's garden, on fire island and Isa Poso, Dorothy, Toto and_the forgetful poet had spent as prisoners on Monday mountain . only the friendship of princess pearl borax had saved them from actual harm, for_the queen of_the Tubbies had nearly carried out her threat of wringing their necks . but the queen finally had sentenced them to_the wash tubs, and from morning till night Dorothy and Percy Vere had_been forced to bend over the wash boards with_the rest of_the wild wash women tribe .

several_times during the first day Percy Vere had almost agreed to marry the dreadful daughter of_the old wash woman, for he_could_not bear to_see dear little Dorothy working like a slave . the forgetful poet himself had never done any hard work, and in an hour he had rubbed all the skin from_his knuckles and all the buttons from_the clothes . but Dorothy would_not hear of_his marrying pearl borax, so, hiding his own discomfort, Percy did the best he_could to_keep her cheerful, reciting his ridiculous rhymes and waving the shirts, stockings and pantaloons around his head whenever the queen's back was turned . even so, keeping cheerful was hard work and often both grew downhearted .

" and Ozma thinks I'm having a fine visit with_the tin woodman," sighed Dorothy wearily, toward the end of_the second day .

" and peer Haps thinks I'm rescuing his daughter," groaned Percy Vere, letting the queen's red table cloth slip back into his tub and staring mournfully down Monday mountain . then seeing that Dorothy was actually near to tears, he tilted his cap over one eye and whispered this verse into her right ear:

" it's wash, splosh, rub

and hang 'em up for dryin',

if sumpin doesn't happen soon

I'll simply burst out- ? "

"C ryin' ! " Dorothy smiled and dashed the tears out of her eyes ." here comes the old lady ! " she finished hurriedly .

"Isn't she simply sinoobious," sniffed Percy, dousing the red table cloth up and down in_the water .

" what did you say ? " roared the queen of_the Tubbies .

" I_said," grinned Percy mischievously:

" her highness is so beautiful

her brightness dims the eye,

I'll work here and be dutiful

until the day I, I- ? "

" die ! " spluttered Dorothy, and_the clumsy queen lumbered on with a pleased smirk .

" better make up your mind to marry pearl," she called over her shoulder and pearl borax blew Percy a wet kiss over her tub of clothes .Toto, who was tied to Dorothy's tub, growled fiercely- for he loathed the whole tribe of sloppy, messy wash women .

" we_must think of a way out," gasped the poor poet unhappily, for life on Monday mountain, where every day is washday, and every dinner is of potatoes and cabbage, was not to_be endured . they had_been over the matter a hundred times before and there really seemed no chance of escape at all . the tubs of_the tribe were ranged in a circle around the mountain top, so_that Dorothy and_the forgetful poet were always under guard .a white fence ran around the mountain, a few feet below . you_may_have heard of a fence running around before, but this_was the first fence Dorothy every had seen that actually did run . it_was tall and spiked and flashed ' round and ' round, till just watching it gave one the headache . it_was too high to jump and_the gate only came opposite Dorothy and_the forgetful poet once a day .

when_they had_been dragged up the mountain, the queen had addressed a low word to_the fence . immediately it had stopped and_they had all come through_the gate . but what_was the word ? ever_since his capture Percy Vere had_been trying to puzzle it out and now, leaning his elbows on_his wash hoard, he began trying again . indeed he thought until he had twelve wrinkles in_his forehead and all at once, like a flash of lightning, it came to him such a short, sensible word that he_gave a triumphant skip . next instant he_was splashing the clothes in_his tub so vigorously that none_of_the wild wash women heard him give Dorothy a few quick instructions . in five minutes the gate would_be opposite and one minute before_the five were up, the three prisoners dashed down the mountain .

" stop ! " shouted Percy Vere, imperiously hammering upon_the fence with a rock .Oh, joy ! it did stop and, as_the gate was now exactly in front of_them, Percy Vere opened it boldly and pulled Dorothy and Toto through . no sooner were they out than_the fence began to spin around as fast as ever, so_that before_the wild wash women, who saw them escape, could follow the gate was half way around the mountain . with howls of rage and fright- for_the Tubbies knew that_the queen would_be furious- the dreadful creatures overturned their wash tubs, and a perfect torrent of hot soapy water came cascading down the mountain side, upsetting Dorothy and_the forgetful poet and making the path so slippery that_they never stopped sliding till they reached the bottom . breathless, drenched and shaken, but otherwise unhurt, they picked themselves up and, without pausing to rest, all three began running as fast as ever they_could away from Monday mountain .

" how- did- you ever- think- of-telling the fence to stop ? " puffed Dorothy, stopping under a broad tulip tree .

" had to ! " gasped Percy, dropping heavily to_the ground and leaning over to pat Toto, who sat, with closed eyes and tongue out, trying to catch up with_his breath . then Percy delivered this gem:

" far from_the Tubbies, little princess, and wouldn't they starch and blue and rinse us-"

" did you say princess ? " interrupted a voice . Dorothy and Percy both jumped and Toto gave a frightened bark- for sitting on a lower branch of_the tulip tree was our old friend bill .

" did you say princess ? " crowed the weather cock .Percy was too surprised to_do anything but nod and_the iron bird rattled into_the air screaming: " the princess ! the princess ! " and flew over the tree tops .

chapter 17

the Adventurers meet

"I DON'T see any princess," sniffed the old soldier, coming to an abrupt halt and eying the two travellers critically .Grampa and_his army had barely recovered from their tumble off the rainbow before bill's cries, announcing the princess, brought them hurrying to_the tulip tree, where Dorothy and Percy Vere were resting .

"Am I dreaming ? " gulped the forgetful poet, clutching Dorothy's hand ."Am I dreaming or what ? " his eye roved from Grampa's game leg to Tatters' many-hued suit and finally came to a rest on_the lovely little flower fairy .

" there_is the princess," insisted bill, pointing his claw at Dorothy .

" snuff and nonsense ! " snapped the old soldier scornfully ." you're a regular false alarm, bill, always going off at_the wrong time . why, that's only a dusty little country girl and no proper match for_the prince at all ! "

Grampa's lofty speech brought Percy quickly out of_his dream .

"Don't you be so migh and highty," muttered the forgetful poet, drawing himself up proudly ." you don't know what you're talking about, you-" no offense ! no offense ! " observed Grampa coolly ." it's not the child's fault that she's not a princess .I dare say she's a very nice little girl, but we're looking for a princess ! "

" why, so are we ! " cried Dorothy in surprise ." but you needn't be so impolite ."

" she_is a princess, too, and do_you_mean to stand there and tell me that that young ragbag is a prince ? " Percy Vere stared at Tatters long and earnestly and then, rolling up his eyes murmured feelingly:

"A prince of rags and scraps and patches, and then they talk to_us of matches ! the prince of what ? the prince of where ? he has a bird's nest in_his er in_his-"

" hair," giggled Dorothy . poor Tatters blushed to_his ears and hurriedly tried to smooth out his hair with_his fingers .

" come on ? " cried Grampa indignantly ." they're crazy ! "

" if_you'll believe he's a prince, I'll believe she's a princess," put in a soft voice and Urtha, who had_been listening anxiously to_the sharp speeches on both sides, danced up_to_the forgetful poet .

" that's fair enough," agreed Percy Vere, smiling at_the little flower fairy:

" you believe in us, and we'll believe in you, and if_you say so I'll believe that six and one are are ? "

" two," said Dorothy, " only they're eight . you mustn't mind Percy's forgetting . you_see, he_is a poet," she explained hastily .

" let me out ! let me out ! what's all this noise ? "

Dorothy and_the forgetful poet exchanged frightened glances and Toto crept back of_the tree- trunk with only_one ear showing, for_the voice certainly had come from a bag on_the prince's shoulder .

" not a dream, but a night mare ! " choked the forgetful poet, as_the prince of Ragbad calmly took his father's head out_of_the knitting bag and held it up toward them .

"Don't be alarmed," purred Fumbo in_his drowsy voice, as_the two clung to one another in a panic .

"I'm not alarmed, I'm-I'm petrified ! " gasped Percy, looking over his shoulder to_see whether the path was clear in_case he_should desire to run .

" it has a crown on, whispered Dorothy nervously ." it must_be a king .I once knew a princess who had dozens of heads and took them off . maybe he's like that ."

" you're speaking of_the princess Languidere, I presume," drawled Fumbo . being a great reader, Fumbo was well acquainted with all the celebrities in Oz ." no, my dear, I_am not like that; as it happens I_have only_one head and it blew off, as_you_can plainly see . this young man you_see here_is my son and he_is carrying my head back to my body . and now you_may tell me your story," commanded the king, smiling graciously . his glance rested curiously on Dorothy ." you_are known to_me already," continued the king ."Grampa, this_is princess Dorothy of Oz, and she_is even prettier than her pictures, if_you_will permit me to_say so .

" i_told you she was a princess," crowed the weather cock triumphantly ." have_you a fortune with_you, girl ? "

" the Dorothy who lives in_the emerald city ? " gasped Tatters, almost dropping his father's head ." the Dorothy who discovered Oz ? "

Dorothy nodded modestly and Grampa, covered with confusion at_the memory of_his sharp speech, tried to hide behind Tatters .

" never mind," laughed Dorothy, seeing Grampa's embarrassment ."I really don't look like a princess now . you_see we've had such a hard journey, falling down a mountain and all, we're kinda rumpled ."

" we've been through a week of wash-days," groaned Percy Vere, straightening his jacket and looking ruefully at his red hands ."I'm sorry I didn't realize you were a prince ." he turned contritely to Tatters ."Mistakes all around, you_see .

" well, we've had a hard time, too," admitted the prince of Ragbad, making another frantic attempt to smooth his hair .

" ask her if she has a fortune ? " insisted bill, settling heavily on_the prince's shoulder .

" hush ! " said Tatters, giving bill a poke .

"Oh, goody ! goody ! we're all going to_be friends ." Urtha spread out her flowery skirts and danced happily around the little group ."Oh, forget- me-nots and daisies ! Oh, dahlias and pinks ! "

" and you're the whole bouquet, miss may ! " cried Percy Vere, but he_was immediately interrupted by Fumbo .

" stop ! " cried the king's head ." let_us keep these stories straight . you said you were looking for a princess . what princess ? "

" company, sit down ! " ordered the old soldier gruffly . he had commanded the expedition so_far and was not going to_be bossed around at_this stage of_the game .Tatters and Urtha promptly obeyed, the prince carefully holding his father's head in_his lap . Dorothy and Percy Vere, after their long run, were glad enough to rest . so down they all sat in a big circle under the green tree, bill and Toto in_the center, staring at one another curiously .

" now, then, Mr er-Mr-" Grampa nodded condescendingly at_the forgetful poet .

"Vere," put in Percy politely .

" now then, Mr Vere, let_us_have your story," said the old soldier, taking a big pinch of snuff . so, with many interruptions from king Fumbo who seemed to_know all about perhaps city- and many lapses into verse, the forgetful poet told of Abrog's prophecy about_the monster, of_the strange disappearance of_the little princess and Abrog himself, of_his tumble down maybe mountain and of_his and Dorothy's adventures since then on_the Runa- way and Monday mountain .

"Humph," grunted the old soldier, when he had finished, "I wouldn't trust a prophet as far as I_could swing a chimney by_the smoke . that prophet has run off with her . you_can bet your last shoe button on_that and, since we_are searching for a princess ourselves, we_might as_well look for_the princess of perhaps city . what do_you say, my boy ? " Grampa glanced questioningly at Tatters .

"I'll be_glad to help princess Dorothy and this- this poet, but- ." already Tatters had made up his mind to return with Urtha to Ragbad, regardless of fortunes and Princesses .

" no buts about_it," roared the king's head

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