Oz 18: Grandpa in Oz by Ruth Plumly Thompson
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under way .

" here I go by_the name of bill ! " he crowed loudly .

"Invisi- bill ! " chortled the old soldier, rising into_the air ." come on crows ! "

Tatters quickly followed Grampa and after Tatters flew Urtha, higher and higher and higher, until the iceberg became only a tiny speck, bobbing up and down in_the blue waters of_the Nonestic ocean .

for a time the adventurers flew in silence, each_one pondering the strange events that had crowded upon them in_the_past few hours ."Invisi- bill" continued to lead the way, Grampa, prince Tatters and Urtha winging after him .

chapter 14

on Monday mountain

" good sleep, how did you enjoy your morning ? " asked Percy Vere brightly .

" pretty well," smiled Dorothy, sitting up with a little yawn ." how did you enjoy your sleep ? "

" there_was a rock in my bed," said the forgetful poet thoughtfully, " and then I got trying to_think of a word to rhyme with schnetzel ."

" how about pretzel ? " suggested Dorothy, smiling a little to herself at_the forgetful poet's earnestness ." and what_is aschnetzel ? " Dorothy smiled sweetly .

" it's a green mocking bird," explained Percy Vere, tossing back his hair, " and it does live on pretzels . my dear, you_have a wonderful mind ."

" woof ! " interrupted Toto . he had_been up for hours and wanted his breakfast . the three travellers had_been forced to_spend the night in_the deep forest to_which_the runaway had brought them . the forgetful poet had piled up a soft couch of boughs and leaves for Dorothy and Toto, but had flung himself carelessly under a tree . however, it took more than a hard bed to dash Percy's spirits and, after running up and down a few paces to_get the stiffness out of_his bones, he began to sing at_the top of_his voice, filling in_the words he forgot with_such comical made- up ones that Dorothy could_not help laughing .

" i_think we_are going to_have a lucky day, Mr Vere," said the little girl, hopping up merrily ."Don't you ? "

Percy, who was washing his face in a nearby brook, nodded so vigorously that_the water splashed in every direction .

" i_should say ! - April, may ! " he_called gaily .

" why do_you put in April may ? " asked Dorothy, running over to splash her own hands in_the brook .

" to_keep in practice," puffed the forgetful poet ." is_that plain-aeroplane ? is_that clear- summer's here ? I'm always afraid I_shall run out of rhymes," confided Percy, drying his face on_his yellow silk handkerchief ." so when I'm talking in prose, I usually add a line under my breath ."

"Oh ! " said Dorothy, and lowered her head so that_the forgetful poet would_not see her smile ." you'll like Scraps," observed Dorothy presently ." she's a poet too ." and as_they walked through_the fragrant forest, Dorothy told him all about_the patch work girl, who lives in_the emerald city .Scraps, as most of you_know, is one_of_the_most famous characters in Oz, being entirely made from a patch work quilt and magically brought to life .

"Does she make better verses than I_do ? " asked Percy jealously .

" no," answered Dorothy, shaking her head, " not any better, and yours are such fun to finish ." this speech so tickled Percy Vere that he recited a verse upon_the spot, waving his arms so ferociously that Toto hid under a rock . the little dog peered out from_his hiding place to hear the strange young poet deliver this jingle- which his little doggie head could_not comprehend in_the slightest:

" as I_came out of Snoozleburg, I met a melon collie; he wept because he_said he_felt so terribly unjolly ! "I patted him upon_the head; he bit me on_the shin- which goes to show just what a horrid temper he_was- was-"

" in," giggled Dorothy, " and did he really ? "

" no, unreally," chuckled the forgetful poet, leaning down to_give Toto's ear an afectionate little tweak ."Unreally ! Unreally ! Unreally ! as unreally as_the breakfast we had this_morning . Dorothy, my dear, I'm as weak as tea ! "

" well, you don't look it," laughed the little girl mischievously ." but I_see a hut between those two pines . perhaps someone lives there ."

"Tut tut ! a hut; let's hasten to_it ! if_the door is shut I'll jump right- ? "

" all right ! " said Dorothy merrily ."C'mon ! "

the door was shut but when_the forgetful poet turned the knob it opened easily and_they found themselves in a small, simply furnished cabin . there_was no one home, but there were eggs, coffee, bacon and bread in_the cupboard, so Percy made a fire in_the little stove and Dorothy quickly prepared an appetizing breakfast .

" it must belong to awoodcutter," said Dorothy as_they sat down cozily together, " and I don't believe he'll mind ."

"I'll leave a poem to_pay for_it," said Percy loftily .

" and I'll leave my ring," added Dorothy . she was a little afraid the woodcutter might_not appreciate Percy's poem .

while Dorothy washed up the dishes Percy scribbled away busily on some sheets of paper he had found on_the table and, after a good_many corrections, he pinned the following verse up on_the wall:

" we've eaten up a little bacon and eggs and such and now are takin' our leave . accept our thanks, and you_should feel a little honored to_have entertained with humble fare a really celebrated pair-A princess and a poet, who wish you good- luck, good- day, a-"

Dorothy took the pencil and added a large dieu to Percy's last line . then, leaving her gold ring on_the table, she skipped after_the forgetful poet and Toto, who were already out of doors and anxious to_be off .

" which_way shall we go ? " Dorothy paused a moment ." i_think the emerald city is in_this direction," she decided at last, facing toward the west .

" well, I_hope so," sighed Percy Vere, " for otherwise we_shall never find the princess . i_wish I'd flung that prophet out_of_the window- so I_do ! " you_see the young poet was getting very_much discouraged .

" but even if_you had, there still would_be the monster to_think about," Dorothy reminded him ." and if she's lost from_us, she's lost from_the monster, too ! "

" that's so," said the forgetful poet, cheering up immediately ." you_think of everything, don't you .I'm going to write a book of verse about you when I get back to perhaps city ."

" that'll be nice," smiled Dorothy ." but let's hurry up and_see how far we_can_be by noon- time ." and hurry up it certainly was, for_the path Dorothy had chosen grew steeper and steeper . it wound in and out among_the trees and was so rough and full of stones that_they had to stop every once in a while to rest .

" it's a mountain- go fountain ! " panted Percy Vere, after they had toiled steadily upward for more than an hour .

" never mind," puffed Dorothy, tucking Toto under her arm- for_the poor bow- bow was completely worn out-" when we reach the top we'll know where we_are .

the trees had thinned out by_this_time and clouds of vapor hid the top of_the mountain from view, but Dorothy and_the forgetful poet kept climbing upward on and on and up .

" it's a dreadful blue mountain," said Dorothy at last, leaning against a rock .

" it's blue as blueing," groaned Percy Vere, shaking a stone out of_his shoe ." what's this ? "

" what's that ? " cried Dorothy, in_the same breath . now this- as it happened- was a clothes horse, full of petticoats and pajamas- and as_the two travellers stared at it in disbelief it kicked up its pegs and dashed off at a gallop, its petticoats and pajamas snapping in_the breeze . and_that was a wash woman-a wild, wild wash woman, her hair dragged up on top of her head and held in place by a couple of clothes pins . she had a clothes prop in one hand and a cake of soap in_the other .Hurling both with all her might at Percy Vere, she turned and scrambled up the mountain, screaming in a dozen different keys as she scrambled . the clothes prop missed, but the great cake of soap caught Percy squarely in_the stomach .

"Ugh ! " grunted the forgetful poet, sitting down from_the shock:

" how rude, how rough, how awfully wasteful- the lady's manners are dis dis- ? "

"Gusting," panted Dorothy- who was too frightened to_make a rhyme .

" can_you fight ? " she asked breathlessly, helping Percy to_his feet ." i_think there's going to_be a fight . look ! "

Percy snatched up the cake of soap that had felled him and turned to_see what_was coming . through_the clouds of steam that hung over the mountain top there suddenly burst a terrible company .

Toto hid his head in Dorothy's blouse and_the forgetful poet could think of no verse to express his feelings . no wonder ! a charge of wild wash women is enough to frighten the bravest traveller and_that is exactly what_was coming . an army of wash women armed with long bars of soap, bottles of blueing, clothes props, wash boards, tubs and baskets . they were huge and fat, with rolled- up sleeves and cross, red faces, and_the faster they ran the crosser they grew, and_the crosser they grew the faster they ran .

"Doesn't seem polite to fight the ladies, but-Percy raised his arm and flung the cake with all his might at_the head of_the advancing army . it struck her smartly on_the nose and, with a howl of rage, she dropped her wash tub and rushed upon_the two helpless adventurers .

" wash their faces ! iron their hands and wring their necks ! " she roared hoarsely .

" what_are you doing here you- you-scutter-mullions ! "

before either could answer, and Percy was racking his brains to_think of a word to rhyme with scutter-mullions, she had Dorothy by one arm and_the forgetful poet by_the other, shaking them until they couldn't have spoken had they tried- while the others pressed so close ( as Dorothy told Ozma afterwards) it's a wonder they weren't smothered on_the spot . but at last, weary of shaking them, the wild wash woman flung them down upon a rock .

" you're a disgrace to our mountain ! " she panted angrily ." look at your clothes ! " ( to_be quite truthful Dorothy and_the forgetful poet were looking shabby and dusty in_the extreme .)

" give_me his coat ! give_me her dress ! snatch off their socks ! " screamed the other wash women, making little snatches at_the two on_the rock .

Percy put his arms protectingly around Dorothy and Toto showed all his teeth and began to growl so terribly that even the head of_the wash women stepped back .

" what_are you doing on Monday mountain ? " she demanded indignantly .

" Monday mountain ? " gasped Percy Vere ." did you hear that, Dorothy ? we're on Monday mountain ! great blueing, black and blueing ! " finished Percy, with a groan .

" stop mumbling and speak up ! " shouted the wash woman threateningly .

" stop shouting and shut up ! " barked Toto unexpectedly .

" we're searching for a princess," explained Dorothy, in_the surprised silence that followed Toto's remark .

"A princess ! Oh, mother ! "

out from_the dreadful group sprang a perfectly enormous wash girl .

" tell them, tell them ! " she gave the leader of_the tribe a playful push ."Oh, mother, may I_have him ? "

" my daughter is a princess," announced the wash woman grandly, " princess of_the Tubbies, and as_this yellow bird pleases her he_may remain ."

" and marry me ? ' exulted the princess of Monday mountain, clasping her fat hands in glee .

" marry you ! " shouted Percy Vere, springing to_his feet ." never ! absolutely no-domi- no ! Dorothy, Dorothy, do_you hear what they_are saying ? "

Dorothy did_not, for she had both hands over her ears . the shouts and screams of_the Tubbies, at Percy's refusal to marry their princess, were so shrill and piercing that she thought her head would split with_the racket .

" to_the wash tubs with_them ! " screamed the queen furiously ." wash their faces, wring their necks, hang them up_to dry ! "

and, seizing upon_the luckless pair, the wild wash women bore them struggling and kicking to_the top of Monday mountain-Toto dashing after- and_the herds of clothes horses that graze on_the mountain side scattering in every direction as_they passed .

chapter 15

the Finding of Fumbo's head !

F or an hour the three crows and Invisi- bill flew steadily over the Nonestic ocean, and flying was so unusual and pleasant a sensation that_they were too interested to_talk . besides, Grampa had warned them in_the beginning to_keep all their strength for flying, for there_was no telling how long they_would remain crows and it would_be extremely dangerous to_change back while up in_the air and over the ocean . so, except for_the occasional calls of bill to let them know which_way to_go, they crossed the great ocean in silence .

" land ! " screamed the weather cock, as_the rocky shores of Ev came into view .

" well, that's over ! " cawed Grampa, alighting thankfully on a rough cliff ." now we_must cross this country and_the sandy desert . anybody tired ? "

Urtha and Tatters shook their heads and no one could_see what bill did, so after a few_minutes' rest they rose into_the air again and flew swiftly over Ev- on and on until they reached the great desert that entirely surrounds the magic kingdom of Oz .

" fly higher ! " commanded the old soldier, for he had read so_much of_the deadly nature of_this desert that he_wanted to_be as far above it as possible . so the little flock of crows and Invisi- bill soared high into_the air and_they crossed the desert even faster than they had crossed the Nonestic ocean, fear lending speed to_their wings . and when at last the lovely land of_the Winkies spread out below them, the old soldier gave a crow of delight ." just keep on this_way and we'll be in_the emerald city by noon time ! " exulted Grampa ." forward for Ragbad and Oz ! "

" and flying is such fun," chuckled Urtha, circling close to_the old soldier ."I don't care how long I_am a crow . but, oh Mr Grampa, there's a gun sticking through your feathers ."

" what ? " croaked the old soldier

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