Oz 18: Grandpa in Oz by Ruth Plumly Thompson
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downhearted .

Urtha, on_the contrary, was as fresh and merry as in_the morning and, seated under a willow tree, was weaving a daisy chain for bill .

" she_is certainly a fairy," mused Grampa and absently pulling a blossom from a nearby bush he popped it into his mouth ." we'll take her back to Ragbad, my boy, and won't she liven up the old castle ! I tell you, now- suddenly Grampa stopped speaking and clapped his hand to_his belt . his eyes grew rounder and rounder and Tatters, turning to_see why he_did_not finish his sentence, gave a little scream of fright .

" help ! " called the prince of Ragbad in an agonized voice ." help ! help ! " Urtha was beside him in an instant, while bill circled wildly overhead .

" he's growing," breathed the little flower maid softly .

" yes," groaned Tatters distractedly, " he's growing a chimney ! " and Tatters was quite right . not_only was_the old soldier growing a chimney, but abay window as_well . the chimney had knocked off his cap and grown brick by brick as_the horrified prince looked on . the bay window, of fancy wood- work and glass, jutted out at_least three feet beyond Grampa's waist line .( the old soldier had always been proud of_his slim figure .)

" give_me my pipe," panted Grampa in achoked voice . he had no idea what_was happening, but felt too terribly dreadful for words .Tatters sank on one knee, snatched the pipe from its place in_his game leg and lit it with trembling fingers . then it was_that he caught sight of_the sign on_the bush beside Grampa ." house plants," said the sign distinctly .

"Oh ! " wailed the prince, suddenly remembering that Grampa had eaten one_of_the blossoms, " you've eaten a house plant and there's a chimney sticking out of your head ."

" there_is ! " roared Grampa, puffing away at his pipe in great agitation ." well, that's what comes of_this pesky magic .achimnee ! well, I'll try to bear it like a soldier," he finished grimly .a perfect cloud of smoke rose from_the chimney at_these valiant words . too overcome for speech, Tatters covered his face .

"Don't you care ! " cried Urtha, flinging her arms ' round Grampa's neck ." it's a sweet little chimney, and so becoming ! "

" the wind is blowing north," crowed bill, disconsolately following the direction of_the smoke as it curled up Grampa's chimney ." if I_see this wizard I'll fall on_his head .I'll give him a peck in_the eye, five pecks, but say ! " bill paused in_his circling and swooped down upon_the old soldier ." how about_the medicine ? " Grampa and Tatters had forgotten all about_the wizard's green bottle, but at bill's words the old soldier drew it quickly from_his pocket .

"I don't believe there's any cure for chimneys," puffed Grampa, running his finger anxiously down the list . he_was so nervous that his hands shook . to_tell the truth he expected to grow a flight of steps or a veranda any minute .

" here, let me look," begged Tatters, snatching the bottle from Grampa . but though there_was everything on_the green label from ear ache to lumbago, no mention was_made of chimneys or bay windows at all .

" but it says ' cure for everything,' " insisted bill, perching stubbornly on Grampa's shoulder .

" this_is worse than a battle ! " moaned Grampa, rolling up his eyes ."I'm poisoned, that's what I_am ."

" poisoned ! " cried bill triumphantly ." then find the cure for poison ." Hurriedly Tatters consulted the label ." for poison of any nature, two drops on_the head," directed the bottle . so while Urtha and bill watched nervously, Tatters uncorked the bottle and let two drops of_the magic liquid fall down Grampa's chimney . there_was a slight sizzle .Tatters rubbed his eyes and bill gave a crow of delight . the chimney had melted and_the bay window was gone and_the gallant old soldier quite himself again .Urtha was so happy that she danced all the way round the golden bench and Grampa jumped up and ran to look at himself in a little pond .

" no worse for_it," mused the old soldier, stroking the top of_his head tenderly and patting his belt with great satisfaction, " but that's the last bite I'll take in_this garden ." as Grampa turned to_go, a particularly bright little flower bed caught his attention . the flowers grew right before his eyes, dropped off their Stems and were immediately succeeded by other ones . even in_the dim lantern light the old soldier could_see that_they were spelling out messages .

"Gorba will return to_the garden at twelve o'clock ." this announcement bloomed gaily in red tulips, and while the old soldier was still staring at it in astonishment, the tulips faded away and another sentence formed in_the bed:

who stays all night shall leave here never, he'll be a lantern tree forever !

in yellow daffodils, the sentence danced before Grampa's eyes ."A life sentence ! " panted the old soldier wildly, and without waiting for more he plunged across the garden .

"Tatters ! bill ! Urtha ! " shouted Grampa, his own voice hoarse with excitement ." the wiz-ard's coming back and we've got to_get out of_this garden or be lantern trees forever ! "

" forever ! " gasped the prince of Raghad, who had scarcely recovered from_the chimney business . as fast as he_could, Grampa told of_the flower messages, and when_they hurried back to_the bed, a pansy sentence had already grown there .

" good- night," said the pansies politely, then fluttering off their stems, blew like gay little butterflies across the lawn .

" good night ! " choked Grampa bitterly ." it's the worst night I ever heard of .I won't be rooted to_the spot, nor a tree for any old wizard wizzing . come on ! company 'tenshun ! "

" here I come by_the name of bill," crowed the weather cock, hurling into_the air .

" but what_are we coming to ? " panted Tatters, shouldering his red umbrella dutifully, while Urtha kept anxiously beside him .

" we're going back to_those stepping stones, puffed Grampa, stumping along determinedly . the lanterns winked lower and lower and soon it_was so dark and shadowy they lost the path entirely .Smothering his alarm, Grampa marched doggedly on, bumping into benches and trees, but never once pausing .

" they ought tb be here some place," wheezed the old soldier and then stopped with a grunt, for he had run plump into an iron railing in_the dark .

" what_is it ? " whispered Tatters, straining his eyes in_the gathering gloom .

" why, it's a flight of steps," cried Grampa in_the next breath .Feeling for_the gate, he entered the little enclosure and struck a match . by_the flickering light, he_saw six circular golden steps and on_the top one in jewelled letters were just three words: "Gorba's Winding stairway ." then the match sputtered and went out .

"Winding stairway," puffed the old soldier joyfully ." why, this must_be the way out . they wind up, I'll bet a gum drop ! get aboard everybody . hurry ! here loveliness ! " Taking Urtha's hand, Grampa guided her up the first step .Tatters stood on_the second with bill on_his shoulder .Grampa mounted quickly to_the top and striking another match looked anxiously for directions . there were no more inscriptions, but under Gorba's name was a tiny gold handle . the match was burning lower and lower and just as it went out Grampa seized the handle and turned it sharply to_the left . then-" great Gollywockers ! " gasped the old soldier, clutching at_the rail ." it's winding down ! "

poor Grampa, in_his hurry, had turned the handle the wrong way, and next instant the brave little company were whirling down the wizard's winding stairway, ' round and ' round, down and down, ' round and down, down and ' round, until they were too dizzy to_know where they were going .

" hold on ! " called Grampa wildly ." hold on ! hold on ! hold on ! " and hold on was about all they_could do .

chapter 8

strange happenings in perhaps city

on_the same bright morning that Grampa and Tatters started from Ragbad, the peer of perhaps city sat cozily breakfasting with Percy Vere .Percy was a poet and attended to all the guess work in perhaps city . true he_was a terribly forgetful poet, but he_did the best he_could and was a prime favorite with_the old mountain monarch . perhaps city itself is a tall, towered city of gold set high in_the maybe Mountains of Oz . so steep and craggy are its peaks that none_of_the dwellers in_the city ever descended into_the valleys below . indeed there_is little need of it, for life in perhaps city, owing to_the jolly nature and good management of old peer Haps, is so delightfully entertaining that_the people have no desire to leave . the Happsies themselves are of_the light-hearted and old- fashioned race of Winkies, who in olden Oz times, settled all the countries of_the east . the only_one who ever left the city at all was Abrog, the high sky prophet of_the realm, and to_his goings and comings no one paid much attention, for he_was a queer, silent old man, who spoke but once a year and only then to prophesy as_to_the weather, crops and important events that_would take place in_the town .

so_far these events had all been happy and fortunate ones, and on_this sunshiny morning, old peer Haps, buttering his muffins in_his cozy breakfast room, felt so_well pleased and content with_his lot that he fairly beamed upon Percy Vere .

for_his part, Percy Vere always was happy and, beaming back at_the king, he shook his long locks out of_his eye and laughed merrily at old peer .Percy Vere always felt that his patron enjoyed his breakfast particularly if Percy opened the proceedings with a verse, so he sang, as breakfast was served, this ditty:

"Oh, muffins mellow light and clear, fit diet for a mountaineer; Oh, muffins pale and yellow ! Oh, muffins sweet to sniff and eat, how you refresh a-a-"

the poet's merry blue eyes grew round and puzzled, as_they always did when he forgot a word .

" fellow ! " chuckled the peer, taking a sip of coffee ."Percy, my child, you_are ridiculish ! "

" I_am ridiculish, I_know it; a young, a poor forgetful--er"

" poet ! " spluttered peer Haps, with another chuckle .

" thanks old nutmeg ! " sighed Percy, helping himself to another muffin ." you always know what I mean .

" nut Meg ! " roared peer Haps . he never got over being amused at Percy's informal way of addressing him ." nut Meg ! well, I'll be grated ! " and immediately he_was, for at_that very moment, the folding doors flew open and in rushed Abrog the prophet .

" greater than all other Rulers in Oz, great of_the greatest ! " began the old man, salaaming before peer Haps, "a great misfortune threatens, approaches, is about to_take place ."

" what ? " cried the peer, choking on_the last bit of_his muffin . it_was strange enough to_have Abrog speak at all when it_was not the day for prophecy, but to_have him speak in_this foreboding fashion was simply too terrible .

" speak out ! speak up ! " cried the forgetful poet, leaping to_his feet:

" speak out, speak up and then get hence, we_cannot stand this dire- this dire, this dire"

" suspense," finished peer Haps automatically ." yes, speak up, fellow ! " he cried anx-iously .

" in four days, a monster will marry the princess ! " wailed Abrog, pulling his peaked cap down over his eyes ." in four days, four days, four days ! " and having said this, he began to gallop ' round the breakfast table, peer Haps and_the forgetful poet right after him . you, yourself, can imagine the effect of_such a message on_the merry old peer of perhaps city . why, he prized the little princess above all his possessions, yes, even above his yellow hen who was a brick layer and laid gold bricks instead of eggs . indeed, she had done more than anyone else to lay the foundation of_his fortune .

" what kind of a_m- monster ? " stuttered the forgetful poet, waving his muffin .

" where is my daughter now ? " demanded peer Haps, seizing Abrog by_the whiskers, for there seemed no other way of stopping him .Abrog waved feebly toward the window and, rushing across the room, the peer and_the poet stared out into_the garden where the sweetest little princess in all the countries of_the east was gathering roses . she waved gaily to_the two in_the window, and, with a shudder, peer Haps turned back to Abrog .

" let me see the prophecy," he demanded, holding out his hand .Abrog produced a crumpled parchment and after one glance the old peer covered his face and sank groaning into his enormous arm chair . the forgetful poet had read over his shoulder and instantly burst into all the melancholy poems he_knew ."Oh, hush ! " begged the old monarch at last, " and you," he waved wildly at_the prophet, can_you do nothing but run ' round that table like a merry- go- round goat ? "

" I_could marry the princess myself," rasped Abrog, coming to a sudden standstill before_the peer ." if she were already married to_me, a monster could_not marry her," he leered triumphantly .

" to_you ! " shrieked Percy Vere, crushing his muffin to a pulp .

" you weazened, wild, old, whiskered dunce, be off ! be gone ! get out, at- at- at- at-"

Percy began hopping about on one foot groaning, " what's the word, what's the word ? "

" once ! " finished peer Haps, mopping his forehead and glaring at Abrog, for he_was stunned at_the old man's suggestion ." it wouldn't do at all," he muttered gloomily ." why, you're a thousand years old if_you're a day, and she's the only daughter I've got ."

" well, you won't have her long," sneered Abrog, gathering his robe about him . his black eyes gleamed wickedly from beneath their bushy brows . he_was furiously angry, but quickly hiding his feelings he began to move slowly toward the door . halfway there he paused ." since you refuse my first solution of_the difficulty, i_will endeavor to_think of another one .I used to_know a little magic," he wheezed craftily ." i_will retire to my tower to_think ."

peer Haps nodded absently . he_was too dazed

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