A Dream of Armageddon by H.G. Wells
Section [1 | 2 | 3 | 4]
the world . the people of_the north would follow me, I_knew, granted only that in one_thing I respected their moral standards . the east and south would trust me as they_would trust no other northern man . and I_knew I had only to_put it to her and she would_have let me go .. . not because she did_not love me !

" only I_did_not want to_go; my will was all the other way about .I had so newly thrown off the incubus of responsibility: i_was still so fresh a renegade from duty that_the daylight clearness of what I ought to_do had no power at all to touch my will . my will was to live, to gather pleasures, and make my dear lady happy . but though this sense of vast neglected duties had no power to draw me, it could make me silent and preoccupied, it robbed the days I had spent of half their brightness and roused me into dark meditations in_the silence of_the night . and as I stood and watched Gresham's aeroplanes sweep to and fro-- those birds of infinite ill omen-- she stood beside me, watching me, perceiving the trouble indeed, but not perceiving it clearly-- her eyes questioning my face, her expression shaded with perplexity . her face was grey because the sunset was fading out_of_the sky . it_was no fault of hers that she held me . she had asked me to_go from her, and again in_the night- time and with tears she had asked me to_go .

" at last it was_the sense of her that roused me from my mood .I turned upon her suddenly and challenged her to race down the mountain slopes .' no,' she said, as_if I jarred with her gravity, but i_was resolved to end that gravity and made her run-- no one can_be very grey and sad who_is out of breath--- and when she stumbled I ran with my hand beneath her arm . we ran down past a couple of men, who turned back staring in astonishment at my behaviour-- they_must_have recognised my face . and half- way down the slope came a tumult in_the air-- clang- clank, clang- clank-- and we stopped, and presently over the hill- crest those war things came flying one behind the other ."

the man seemed hesitating on_the verge of a description .

" what were, they like ? " I asked .

" they had never fought," he_said ." they were just like our ironclads are nowadays; they had never fought . no one knew what they_might do, with excited men inside them; few even cared to speculate . they were great driving things shaped like spear-heads without a shaft, with a propeller in_the place of_the shaft ."

" steel ? "

" not steel ."

"Aluminium ? "

" no, no, nothing of_that sort . an alloy that was very common-- as common as brass, for example . it_was called-- let me see--" he squeezed his forehead with_the fingers of one hand ." I_am forgetting everything," he_said .

" and_they carried guns ? "

" little guns, firing high explosive shells . they fired the guns backwards, out_of_the base of_the leaf, so to_speak, and rammed with_the beak . that was_the theory, you_know, but they had never been fought . no one could tell exactly what_was going to happen . and meanwhile I suppose it_was very fine to_go whirling through_the air like a flight of young swallows, swift and easy .I guess the captains tried not to_think too clearly what the real thing would_be like . and these flying war machines, you_know, were only_one sort of_the endless war contrivances that had_been invented and had fallen into abeyance during the long peace . there were all sorts of_these things that people were routing out and furbishing up; infernal things, silly things; things that had never been tried; big engines, terrible explosives, great guns . you_know the silly way of_these ingenious sort of men who make these things; they turn 'em out as beavers build dams, and with no more sense of_the rivers they're going to divert and_the lands they're going to flood !

" as_we went down the winding stepway to our hotel again in_the twilight I foresaw it all: I_saw how clearly and inevitably things were driving for war in Gresham's silly, violent hands, and I had some inkling of what war was bound to_be under these new conditions . and even then, though I_knew it_was drawing near the limit of_my opportunity, I_could find no will to_go back ."

he sighed .

" that was my last chance .

" we_did_not go into_the city until the sky was full of stars, so we walked out upon_the high terrace, to and fro, and-- she counselled me to_go back .

"' my dearest,' she said, and her sweet face looked up to_me, ' this_is death . this life you lead is death . go back to_them, go back to your duty--'

" she began to weep, saying between her sobs, and clinging to my arm as she said it, ' go back-- go back .'

" then suddenly she fell mute, and glancing down at her face, I_read in an instant the thing she had thought to_do . it_was one of_those moments when one sees .

"' no ! ' I_said .

"' no ? ' she asked, in surprise, and i_think a little fearful at_the answer to her thought .

"' nothing,' I_said, ' shall send me back . nothing ! I_have chosen . love, I_have chosen, and_the world must go . whatever happens, i_will live this life-- i_will live for_you ! it-- nothing shall turn me aside; nothing, my dear one . even if_you died-- even if_you died--'

"' yes ? ' she murmured, softly .

"' then--I also would die .'

" and before she_could speak again I began to_talk, talking eloquently-- as I_could do in_that life--talking to exalt love, to make_the life we were living seem heroic and glorious; and_the thing i_was deserting something hard and enormously ignoble that_it_was a fine thing to set aside .I bent all my mind to throw that glamour upon it, seeking not_only to convert her but myself to_that . we talked, and she clung to_me, torn too between all that she deemed noble and all that she knew was sweet . and at last I_did make it heroic, made all the thickening disaster of_the world only a sort of glorious setting to our unparalleled love, and we two poor foolish souls strutted there at last, clad in_that splendid delusion, drunken rather with_that glorious delusion, under the still stars .

" and so my moment passed .

" it_was my last chance . even as_we went to and fro there, the leaders of_the south and east were gathering their resolve, and_the hot answer that shattered Gresham's bluffing for ever took shape and waited . and all over Asia, and_the ocean, and_the south, the air and_the wires were throbbing with their warnings to_prepare-- prepare .

" no one living, you_know, knew what war was; no one could imagine, with all these new inventions, what horror war might bring .I believe most people still believed it would_be a matter of bright uniforms and shouting charges and triumphs and flags and bands-- in a time when half the world drew its food- supply from regions ten thousand miles away----"

the man with_the white face paused .I glanced at him, and_his face was intent on_the floor of_the carriage .a little railway station, a string of loaded trucks, a signal- box, and_the back of a cottage shot by_the carriage window, and a bridge passed with a clap of noise, echoing the tumult of_the train .

" after_that," he_said, "I dreamt often . for three weeks of nights that dream was my life . and_the worst of it_was there were nights when I_could_not dream, when I lay tossing on a bed in_this accursed life; and _there_-- somewhere lost to_me-- things were happening-- momentous, terrible things .. .I lived at nights-- my days, my waking days, this life I_am living now, became a faded, far- away dream, a drab setting, the cover of_the book ."

he thought .

" I_could tell you all, tell you every little thing in_the dream, but as_to what I_did in_the daytime-- no . I_could_not tell-- I_do_not remember . my memory-- my memory has gone . the business of life slips from me--"

he leant forward, and pressed his hands upon his eyes . for_a_long_time he_said nothing .

" and then ? " said I .

" the war burst like a hurricane ."

he stared before him at unspeakable things .

" and then ? " I urged again .

" one touch of unreality," he_said, in_the low tone of a man who speaks to himself, " and they_would_have been nightmares . but they were_not nightmares-- they were_not nightmares . no ! "

he_was silent for so_long that_it dawned upon me that there_was a danger of losing the rest of_the story . but he went on talking again in_the same tone of questioning self- communion .

" what_was there to_do but flight ? I had_not thought the war would touch Capri--I had seemed to_see Capri as being out of it all, as_the contrast to_it all; but two nights after_the whole place was shouting and bawling, every woman almost and every_other man wore a badge--Gresham's badge-- and there_was no music but ajangling war- song over and over again, and everywhere men enlisting, and in_the dancing halls they were drilling . the whole island was a- whirl with rumours; it_was said again and again, that fighting had begun .I had_not expected this .I had seen so little of_the life of pleasure that I had failed to reckon with_this violence of_the amateurs . and as for_me, i_was out of it . i_was like a man who_might_have prevented the firing of a magazine . the time had gone . i_was no one; the vainest stripling with a badge counted for more than I . the crowd jostled us and bawled in_our ears; that accursed song deafened us; a woman shrieked at my lady because no badge was on her, and we two went back to our own place again, ruffled and insulted-- my lady white and silent, and I a- quiver with rage . so furious was I, I_could_have quarrelled with her if I_could_have found one shade of accusation in her eyes .

" all my magnificence had gone from me .I walked up and down our rock cell, and outside was_the darkling sea and a light to_the southward that flared and passed and came again .

"' we_must get out of_this place,' I_said over and over .' I_have_made my choice, and i_will_have no hand in_these troubles . i_will_have nothing of_this war . we_have taken our lives out of all these things . this_is no refuge for_us . let_us go .'

" and_the next_day we were already in flight from_the war that covered the world .

" and all the rest was flight-- all the rest was flight ."

he mused darkly .

" how_much was there of it ? "

he_made no answer .

" how_many days ? "

his face was white and drawn and_his hands were clenched . he_took no heed of_my curiosity .

I tried to draw him back to_his story with questions .

" where did you go ? " I_said .

" when ? "

" when_you left Capri ."

" south- west," he_said, and glanced at me for a second ." we went in a boat ."

" but i_should_have thought an aeroplane ? "

" they had_been seized ."

I questioned him no more . presently i_thought he_was beginning again . he broke out in an argumentative monotone:

" but why should it be ? if, indeed, this battle, this slaughter and stress, _is life, why have we this craving for pleasure and beauty ? if there _is no refuge, if_there_is no place of peace, and if all our dreams of quiet places are a folly and a snare, why have we such dreams ? surely it_was no ignoble cravings, no base intentions, had brought us to_this; it_was love had isolated us . love had come to_me with her eyes and robed in her beauty, more glorious than all else in life, in_the very shape and colour of life, and summoned me away .I had silenced all the voices, I had answered all the questions--I had come to her . and suddenly there_was nothing but war and death ! "

I had an inspiration ." after all," I_said, " it could_have_been only a dream ."

"A dream ! " he cried, flaming upon me, "a dream-- when, even now--"

for_the first time he became animated .a faint flush crept into his cheek . he raised his open hand and clenched it, and dropped it to_his knee . he spoke, looking away from me, and for all the rest of_the time he looked away ." we_are but phantoms," he_said, " and_the phantoms of phantoms, desires like cloud shadows and wills of straw that eddy in_the wind; the days pass, use and wont carry us through as a train carries the shadow of_its lights-- so be it ? but one_thing is real and certain, one_thing is no dream stuff, but eternal and enduring . it_is_the centre of_my life, and all other things about_it are subordinate or altogether vain .I loved her, that woman of a dream . and she and I are dead together !

"A dream ! how can it be a dream, when it drenched aliving life with unappeasable sorrow, when it makes all that I_have lived for and cared for worthless and unmeaning ?

" until that very moment when she was killed I believed we had still a chance of getting away," he_said ." all through_the night and morning that we sailed across the sea from Capri to Salerno we talked of escape . we were full of hope, and it clung about us to_the end, hope for_the life together we_should lead, out of it all, out_of_the battle and struggle, the wild and empty passions, the empty, arbitrary ' thou shalt' and ' thou shalt not' of_the world . we were uplifted, as_though our quest was a holy thing, as_though love for_one another was a mission .. .

" even when from_our boat we saw the fair face of_that great rock Capri-- already scarred and gashed by_the gun emplacements and hiding-places that were to_make it a fastness-- we reckoned nothing of_the imminent slaughter, though the fury of preparation hung about in puffs and clouds of dust at a hundred points amidst the grey; but, indeed, I_made a text of_that and talked . there, you_know, was_the rock, still beautiful for all its scars, with its countless windows and arches and ways, tier upon tier, for a thousand feet, a vast carving of grey, broken by vine-clad terraces, and lemon and orange groves, and masses of agave and prickly

Section [1 | 2 | 3 | 4]