A memory

by mark twain

when I_say that I never knew my austere father to_be enamoured of but one poem in all the long half century that he lived, persons who knew him will easily believe me; when I_say that I_have never composed but one poem in all the long third of a century that I_have lived, persons who_know me will_be sincerely grateful; and finally, when I_say that_the poem which I composed was not the one which my father was enamoured of, persons who may_have known us both will not need to_have this truth shot into them with a mountain howitzer before_they can receive it . my father and I were always on_the most distant terms when i_was a boy--a sort of armed neutrality so to_speak . at irregular intervals this neutrality was broken, and suffering ensued; but i_will_be candid enough to_say that_the breaking and_the suffering were always divided up with strict impartiality between_us-- which_is to_say, my father did the breaking, and I_did the suffering . as a general thing i_was a backward, cautious, unadventurous boy; but I once jumped off a two- story table; another time I_gave an elephant a" plug" of tobacco and retired without waiting for an answer; and still another time I pretended to_be talking in my sleep, and got off a portion of a very wretched original conundrum in_the hearing of_my father . let_us not pry into_the result; it_was of no consequence to any_one but me .

but the poem I_have referred to as attracting my father's attention and achieving his favour was "Hiawatha ." some man who courted a sudden and awful death presented him an early copy, and I never lost faith in my own senses until I_saw him sit down and go to reading it in cold blood-- saw him open the book, and heard him read these following lines, with_the same inflectionless judicial frigidity with_which he always read his charge to_the jury, or administered an oath to a witness:

" take your bow, O Hiawatha, take your arrows, Jasper- headed, take your war- club, Puggawaugun, and your mittens, Minjekahwan, and your birch canoe for sailing, and_the oil of Mishe-Nama ."

presently my father took out of_his breast pocket an imposing " warranty deed," and fixed his eyes upon it and dropped into meditation . I_knew what it_was .a Texan lady and gentleman had given my half- brother, Orrin Johnson, a handsome property in a town in_the north, in gratitude to him for having saved their lives by an act of brilliant heroism .

by and by my father looked towards me and sighed . then he_said:

" if I had such a son as_this poet, here were a subject worthier than_the traditions of_these Indians ."

" if_you please, sir, where ? "

" in_this deed ."

" yes-- in_this very deed," said my father, throwing it on_the table ." there_is more poetry, more romance, more sublimity, more splendid imagery hidden away in_that homely document than could_be found in all the traditions of all the savages that live ."

" indeed, sir ? could I-- could I get it out, sir ? could I compose the poem, sir, do_you_think ? "

" you ? "

I wilted .

presently my father's face softened somewhat, and he_said:

" go and try . but mind, curb folly . no poetry at_the expense of truth . keep strictly to_the facts ."

I_said i_would, and bowed myself out, and went upstairs .

"Hiawatha" kept droning in my head-- and so did my father's remarks about_the sublimity and romance hidden in my subject, and also his injunction to beware of wasteful and exuberant fancy .I noticed, just here, that I had heedlessly brought the deed away with me; now at_this moment came to_me one of_those rare moods of daring recklessness, such as I referred to a while ago . without another thought, and in plain Defiance of_the fact that I_knew my father meant me to write the romantic story of_my half- brother's adventure and subsequent good fortune, I ventured to heed merely the letter of_his remarks and ignore their spirit . i_took the stupid " warranty deed" itself and chopped it up into Hiawathian blank verse without altering or leaving out three words, and without transposing six . it required loads of courage to_go downstairs and face my father with my performance .I started three or four times before I finally got my pluck to where it would stick . but at last I_said i_would go down and read it to him if he threw me over the church for_it .I stood up to_begin, and he_told me to_come closer .I edged up a little, but still left as_much neutral ground between_us as i_thought he_would stand . then I began . it would_be useless for_me to_try to_tell what conflicting emotions expressed themselves upon his face, nor how they grew more and more intense, as I proceeded; nor how afell darkness descended upon his countenance, and he began to gag and swallow, and_his hands began to work and twitch, as I reeled off line after line, with_the strength ebbing out of me, and my legs trembling under me:

the story of a gallant deed

this indenture, made the tenth day of November, in_the year of_our lord one thousand eight hundred six- and-fifty,

between Joanna S .E . gray and Philip gray, her husband, of Salem city in_the state of Texas, of_the first part,

and O .B . Johnson, of_the town of Austin, ditto, WITNESSETH: that said party of first part, for and in consideration

of_the sum of Twenty thousand Dollars, lawful money of_the U .S . of Americay, to_them in hand now paid by said

party of_the second part, the due receipt whereof is here-- by confessed and acknowledg-ed Having granted, bargained, sold, Remised,

released and Aliened and conveyed, confirmed, and by_these presents do grant and bargain, sell, Remise, alien, release, convey, and Con--

firm unto the said aforesaid party of_the second part, and to_his heirs and assigns forever and ever all

that certain lot or parcel of land situate in city of Dunkirk, county of Chautauqua, and likewise furthermore in York state

bounded and described, to- wit, as follows, herein, namely BEGINNING at_the distance of a hundred two- and-forty feet,

north- half- east, north- east- by north, east- north- east and northerly of_the northerly line of Mulligan street on_the westerly line of Brannigan street,

and running thence due northerly on Brannigan street 200 feet, thence at right angles westerly, north- west- by- west- and- west- half- west,

west- and- by- north, north- west- by- west, about--

I kind of dodged, and_the boot- jack broke the looking- glass . I_could_have waited to_see what became of_the other missiles if I had wanted to, but i_took no interest in_such things .