Alice's Adventure in Wonderland by Lewis Carroll
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who it_was, even before she got into_the court, by_the_way the people near the door began sneezing all at once .

' give your evidence,' said the king .

'Shan't,' said the cook .

the king looked anxiously at_the white rabbit, who said in a low voice, ' your majesty must cross- examine this witness .'

' well, if I_must, I_must,' the king said, with a melancholy air, and, after folding his arms and frowning at_the cook till his eyes were nearly out of sight, he_said in a deep voice, ' what_are tarts made of ? '

' pepper, mostly,' said the cook .

' treacle,' said a sleepy voice behind her .

' collar that dormouse,' the queen shrieked out .' behead that dormouse ! turn that dormouse out of court ! suppress him ! pinch him ! off with_his whiskers ! '

for some minutes the whole court was in confusion, getting the dormouse turned out, and, by_the_time they had settled down again, the cook had disappeared .

' never mind ! ' said the king, with an air of great relief .' call the next witness .' and he added in an undertone to_the queen, ' really, my dear, you_must cross- examine the next witness . it quite makes my forehead ache ! '

Alice watched the white rabbit as he fumbled over the list, feeling very curious to_see what the next witness would_be like, '-- for they haven't got much evidence yet,' she said to herself . imagine her surprise, when_the white rabbit read out, at_the top of_his shrill little voice, the name 'Alice ! '

chapter XII: Alice's evidence

' here ! ' cried Alice, quite forgetting in_the flurry of_the moment how large she had grown in_the last few_minutes, and she jumped up in_such a hurry that she tipped over the jury- box with_the edge of her skirt, upsetting all the jurymen on to_the heads of_the crowd below, and there they lay sprawling about, reminding her very_much of a globe of goldfish she had accidentally upset the week before .

'Oh, I beg your pardon ! ' she exclaimed in a tone of great dismay, and began picking them up again as quickly as she_could, for_the accident of_the goldfish kept running in her head, and she had a vague sort of idea that they_must_be collected at once and put back into_the jury- box, or they_would die .

' the trial cannot proceed,' said the king in a very grave voice, ' until all the jurymen are back in their proper places-- all,' he repeated with great emphasis, looking hard at Alice as he_said do .

Alice looked at_the jury- box, and saw that, in her haste, she had put the lizard in head downwards, and_the poor little thing was waving its tail about in a melancholy way, being quite unable to move . she soon got it out again, and put it right; ' not that_it signifies much,' she said to herself; ' i_should think it would_be quite as_much use in_the trial one_way up as_the other .'

as_soon_as_the jury had a little recovered from_the shock of being upset, and their slates and pencils had_been found and handed back to_them, they set to work very diligently to write out a history of_the accident, all except the lizard, who seemed too_much overcome to_do anything but sit with its mouth open, gazing up into_the roof of_the court .

' what do_you_know about_this business ? ' the king said to Alice .

' nothing,' said Alice .

' nothing whatever ? ' persisted the king .

' nothing whatever,' said Alice .

' that's very_important,' the king said, turning to_the jury . they were just beginning to write this down on their slates, when_the white rabbit interrupted: ' unimportant, your majesty means, of_course,' he_said in a very respectful tone, but frowning and making faces at him as he spoke .

' unimportant, of_course, I meant,' the king hastily said, and went on to himself in an undertone, ' important-- unimportant-- unimportant-- important--' as_if he were trying which word sounded best .

some_of_the jury wrote it down ' important,' and some ' unimportant .' Alice could_see this, as she was near enough to look over their slates; ' but it doesn't matter a bit,' she thought to herself .

at_this moment the king, who had_been for some_time busily writing in_his note- book, cackled out ' silence ! ' and read out from_his book, ' rule Forty- two . all persons more than a mile hight to leave the court .'

everybody looked at Alice .

'I'm not a mile high,' said Alice .

' you_are,' said the king .

' nearly two miles high,' added the queen .

' well, I shan't go, at any rate,' said Alice: ' besides, that's not a regular rule: you invented it just now .'

' it's the oldest rule in_the book,' said the king .

' then it ought_to_be number one,' said Alice .

the king turned pale, and shut his note- book hastily .' consider your verdict,' he_said to_the jury, in a low, trembling voice .

' there's more evidence to_come yet, please your majesty,' said the white rabbit, jumping up in a great hurry; ' this paper has just been picked up .'

' what's in_it ? ' said the queen .

'I haven't opened it yet,' said the white rabbit, ' but it seems_to_be a letter, written by_the prisoner to-- to somebody .'

' it must_have been that,' said the king, ' unless it_was written to nobody, which isn't usual, you_know .'

' who_is it directed to ? ' said one_of_the jurymen .

' it isn't directed at all,' said the white rabbit; ' in_fact, there's nothing written on_the outside .' he unfolded the paper as he spoke, and added ' it isn't a letter, after all: it's a set of verses .'

' are they in_the prisoner's handwriting ? ' asked another of they jurymen .

' no, they're not,' said the white rabbit, ' and_that's the queerest thing about_it .' ( the jury all looked puzzled .)

' he_must_have imitated somebody else's hand,' said the king .( the jury all brightened up again .)

' please your majesty,' said the knave, 'I didn't write it, and_they can't prove I_did: there's no name signed at_the end .'

' if_you didn't sign it,' said the king, ' that only makes the matter worse . you_must_have meant some mischief, or else you'd have signed your_name like an honest man .'

there_was a general clapping of hands at_this: it was_the first really clever thing the king had said that day .

' that proves his guilt,' said the queen .

' it proves nothing of_the sort ! ' said Alice .' why, you don't even know what they're about ! '

' read them,' said the king .

the white rabbit put on_his spectacles .' where shall I begin, please your majesty ? ' he asked .

' begin at_the beginning,' the king said gravely, ' and go on till you come to_the end: then stop .'

these were the verses the white rabbit read:--

' they told me you had_been to her, and mentioned me to him she gave_me a good character, but said I_could_not swim .

he sent them word I had_not gone ( we_know it to_be true) if she should push the matter on, what would become of you ?

I_gave her one, they gave him two, you_gave us three or more; they all returned from_him to_you, though they were mine before .

if I or she should chance to_be Involved in_this affair, he trusts to_you to set them free, exactly as_we were .

my notion was_that you had_been ( before she had this fit) an obstacle that came between him, and ourselves, and it .

Don't let him know she liked them best, for_this must ever be a secret, kept from all the rest, between yourself and me .'

' that's the most important piece of evidence we've heard yet,' said the king, rubbing his hands; ' so now let the jury--'

' if any_one_of_them can explain it,' said Alice, ( she had grown so large in_the last few_minutes that she wasn't a bit afraid of interrupting him,) 'I'll give him sixpence .I don't believe there's an atom of meaning in_it .'

the jury all wrote down on their slates, ' she doesn't believe there's an atom of meaning in_it,' but none_of_them attempted to explain the paper .

' if there's no meaning in_it,' said the king, ' that saves a world of trouble, you_know, as_we needn't try to_find any . and yet I don't know,' he went on, spreading out the verses on_his knee, and looking at them with one eye; 'I seem to_see some meaning in_them, after all ."-- said I_could_not swim--" you_can't swim, can_you ? ' he added, turning to_the knave .

the knave shook his head sadly .' do I look like it ? ' he_said .( which he certainly did_not, being made entirely of cardboard .)

' all right, so_far,' said the king, and he went on muttering over the verses to himself: '" we_know it to_be true--" that's the jury, of_course-- " I_gave her one, they gave him two--" why, that_must be what he_did with_the tarts, you_know--'

' but, it goes on " they all returned from_him to_you,"' said Alice .

' why, there they_are ! ' said the king triumphantly, pointing to_the tarts on_the table .' nothing can_be clearer than that . then again--" before she had this fit--" you never had fits, my dear, i_think ? ' he_said to_the queen .

' never ! ' said the queen furiously, throwing an inkstand at_the lizard as she spoke .( the unfortunate little bill had left off writing on_his slate with one finger, as he_found it made no mark; but he now hastily began again, using the ink, that was trickling down his face, as long as it lasted .)

' then the words don't fit you,' said the king, looking round the court with a smile . there_was a dead silence .

' it's a pun ! ' the king added in an offended tone, and everybody laughed, ' let the jury consider their verdict,' the king said, for about_the twentieth time that day .

' no, no ! ' said the queen .' sentence first-- verdict afterwards .'

' stuff and nonsense ! ' said Alice loudly .' the idea of having the sentence first ! '

' hold your tongue ! ' said the queen, turning purple .

'I won't ! ' said Alice .

' off with her head ! ' the queen shouted at_the top of her voice . nobody moved .

' who cares for_you ? ' said Alice, ( she had grown to her full size by_this_time .) ' you're nothing but a pack of cards ! '

at_this the whole pack rose up into_the air, and came flying down upon her: she gave a little scream, half of fright and half of anger, and tried to beat them off, and found herself lying on_the bank, with her head in_the lap of her sister, who was gently brushing away some dead leaves that had fluttered down from_the trees upon her face .

' wake up, Alice dear ! ' said her sister; ' why, what a long sleep you've had ! '

'Oh, I've had such a curious dream ! ' said Alice, and she told her sister, as_well as she_could remember them, all these strange Adventures of hers that you_have just been reading about; and when she had finished, her sister kissed her, and said, ' it_was a curious dream, dear, certainly: but now run in to your tea; it's getting late .' so Alice got up and ran off, thinking while she ran, as_well she might, what a wonderful dream it had_been .

but her sister sat still just as she left her, leaning her head on her hand, watching the setting sun, and thinking of little Alice and all her wonderful Adventures, till she too began dreaming after a fashion, and this_was her dream:--

first, she dreamed of little Alice herself, and once again the tiny hands were clasped upon her knee, and_the bright eager eyes were looking up into hers-- she_could hear the very tones of her voice, and_see that queer little toss of her head to_keep back the wandering hair that_would always get into her eyes-- and still as she listened, or seemed to listen, the whole place around her became alive the strange creatures of her little sister's dream .

the long grass rustled at her feet as_the white rabbit hurried by-- the frightened mouse splashed his way through_the neighbouring pool-- she_could hear the rattle of_the teacups as_the march hare and_his friends shared their never-ending meal, and_the shrill voice of_the queen ordering off her unfortunate guests to execution-- once more the Pig- baby was sneezing on_the duchess's knee, while plates and dishes crashed around it-- once more the shriek of_the Gryphon, the squeaking of_the lizard's slate- pencil, and_the choking of_the suppressed guinea-pigs, filled the air, mixed up with_the distant sobs of_the miserable mock turtle .

so she sat on, with closed eyes, and half believed herself in wonderland, though she knew she had but to open them again, and all would change to dull reality-- the grass would_be only rustling in_the wind, and_the pool rippling to_the waving of_the reeds-- the rattling teacups would change to tinkling sheep-bells, and_the queen's shrill cries to_the voice of_the shepherd boy-- and_the sneeze of_the baby, the shriek of_the Gryphon, and all the other queer noises, would change ( she knew) to_the confused clamour of_the busy farm- yard-- while the lowing of_the cattle in_the distance would take_the place of_the mock turtle's heavy sobs .

lastly, she pictured to herself how this same little sister of hers would, in_the after- time, be herself a grown woman; and how she_would keep, through all her riper years, the simple and loving heart of her childhood: and how she_would gather about her other little children, and make their eyes bright and eager with many a strange tale, perhaps even with_the dream of wonderland of long_ago: and how she_would feel with all their simple sorrows, and find a pleasure in all their simple joys, remembering her own child- life, and_the happy summer days .

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