Alice's Adventure in Wonderland by Lewis Carroll
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quite unhappy at_the number of executions the queen had ordered .

they very_soon came upon aGryphon, lying fast asleep in_the sun .( if_you don't know what aGryphon is, look at_the picture .) ' up, lazy thing ! ' said the queen, ' and take this young lady to_see the mock turtle, and to hear his history . I_must go back and_see after some executions I_have ordered'; and she walked off, leaving Alice alone with_the Gryphon .Alice did_not quite like the look of_the creature, but on_the whole she thought it would_be quite as safe to stay with it as to_go after_that savage queen: so she waited .

the Gryphon sat up and rubbed its eyes: then it watched the queen till she was out of sight: then it chuckled .' what fun ! ' said the Gryphon, half to itself, half to Alice .

' what_is the fun ? ' said Alice .

' why, she,' said the Gryphon .' it's all her fancy, that: they never executes nobody, you_know . come on ! '

' everybody says " come on ! " here,' thought Alice, as she went slowly after it: 'I never was so ordered about in all my life, never ! '

they had_not gone far before_they saw the mock turtle in_the distance, sitting sad and lonely on a little ledge of rock, and, as_they came nearer, Alice could hear him sighing as_if his heart would break . she pitied him deeply .' what_is his sorrow ? ' she asked the Gryphon, and_the Gryphon answered, very nearly in_the same words as before, ' it's all his fancy, that: he hasn't got no sorrow, you_know . come on ! '

so they went up_to_the mock turtle, who looked at them with large eyes full of tears, but said nothing .

' this here young lady,' said the Gryphon, ' she wants for to_know your history, she do .'

'I'll tell it her,' said the mock turtle in a deep, hollow tone: ' sit down, both of you, and don't speak a word till I've finished .'

so they sat down, and nobody spoke for some minutes .Alice thought to herself, 'I don't see how he_can even finish, if he doesn't begin .' but she waited patiently .

' once,' said the mock turtle at last, with a deep sigh, ' i_was a real turtle .'

these words were followed by a very long silence, broken only by an occasional exclamation of 'Hjckrrh ! ' from_the Gryphon, and_the constant heavy sobbing of_the mock turtle .Alice was very nearly getting up and saying, ' thank_you, sir, for your interesting story,' but she_could_not help thinking there_must_be more to_come, so she sat still and said nothing .

' when we were little,' the mock turtle went on at last, more calmly, though still sobbing a little now_and_then, ' we went to school in_the sea . the master was an old turtle-- we used to_call him tortoise--'

' why did you call him tortoise, if he wasn't one ? ' Alice asked .

' we called him tortoise because he taught us,' said the mock turtle angrily: ' really you_are very dull ! '

' you ought_to_be ashamed of yourself for asking such a simple question,' added the Gryphon; and then they both sat silent and looked at poor Alice, who felt ready to sink into_the earth . at last the Gryphon said to_the mock turtle, ' drive on, old fellow ! Don't be all day about_it ! ' and he went on in_these words:

' yes, we went to school in_the sea, though you mayn't believe it--'

'I never said I didn't ! ' interrupted Alice .

' you_did,' said the mock turtle .

' hold your tongue ! ' added the Gryphon, before Alice could speak again . the mock turtle went on .

' we had the best of educations-- in_fact, we went to school every day--'

'I've been to a day- school, too,' said Alice; ' you needn't be so proud as all that .'

' with extras ? ' asked the mock turtle a little anxiously .

' yes,' said Alice, ' we learned French and music .'

' and washing ? ' said the mock turtle .

' certainly not ! ' said Alice indignantly .

'Ah ! then yours wasn't a really good school,' said the mock turtle in a tone of great relief .' now at ours they had at_the end of_the bill, " French, music, and washing-- extra ."'

' you couldn't have wanted it much,' said Alice; 'living at_the bottom of_the sea .'

'I couldn't afford to learn it .' said the mock turtle with a sigh .'I only took the regular course .'

' what_was that ? ' inquired Alice .

'Reeling and Writhing, of_course, to_begin with,' the mock turtle replied; ' and then the different branches of arithmetic-- ambition, distraction, Uglification, and derision .'

'I never heard of "Uglification,"' Alice ventured to_say .' what_is it ? '

the Gryphon lifted up both its paws in surprise .' what ! never heard of uglifying ! ' it exclaimed .' you_know what to beautify is, I suppose ? '

' yes,' said Alice doubtfully: ' it means-- to-- make-- anything-- prettier .'

' well, then,' the Gryphon went on, ' if_you don't know what to uglify is, you_are a simpleton .'

Alice did_not feel encouraged to ask any more questions about_it, so she turned to_the mock turtle, and said ' what else had you to learn ? '

' well, there_was mystery,' the mock turtle replied, counting off the subjects on_his flappers, '-- mystery, ancient and modern, with Seaography: then Drawling-- the Drawling- master was an old conger- eel, that used to_come once a week: he taught us Drawling, Stretching, and Fainting in Coils .'

' what_was that like ? ' said Alice .

' well, I_can't show it you myself,' the mock turtle said: 'I'm too stiff . and_the Gryphon never learnt it .'

'Hadn't time,' said the Gryphon: 'I went to_the Classics master, though . he_was an old crab, he_was .'

'I never went to him,' the mock turtle said with a sigh: ' he taught Laughing and grief, they used to_say .'

' so he_did, so he_did,' said the Gryphon, sighing in_his turn; and both creatures hid their faces in their paws .

' and how_many hours a day did you_do lessons ? ' said Alice, in a hurry to_change the subject .

'Ten hours the first day,' said the mock turtle: 'nine the next, and so on .'

' what a curious plan ! ' exclaimed Alice .

' that's the reason they're called lessons,' the Gryphon remarked: ' because they lessen from day to day .'

this_was quite a new idea to Alice, and she thought it over a little before she made her next remark .' then the eleventh day must_have been a holiday ? '

' of_course it_was,' said the mock turtle .

' and how did you manage on_the twelfth ? ' Alice went on eagerly .

' that's enough about lessons,' the Gryphon interrupted in a very decided tone: ' tell her something about_the games now .'

chapter X: the lobster quadrille

the mock turtle sighed deeply, and drew the back of one flapper across his eyes . he looked at Alice, and tried to_speak, but for a minute or two sobs choked his voice .' same as_if he had a bone in_his throat,' said the Gryphon: and it set to work shaking him and punching him in_the back . at last the mock turtle recovered his voice, and, with tears running down his cheeks, he went on again:--

' you_may not have lived much under the sea--' ('I haven't,' said Alice)-- ' and perhaps you were never even introduced to a lobster--' (Alice began to_say 'I once tasted--' but checked herself hastily, and said ' no, never') '-- so you_can_have no idea what a delightful thing a lobster quadrille is ! '

' no, indeed,' said Alice .' what sort of a dance is_it ? '

' why,' said the Gryphon, ' you first form into a line along the sea- shore--'

' two lines ! ' cried the mock turtle .'Seals, turtles, salmon, and so on; then, when_you've cleared all the jelly- fish out_of_the way--'

' that generally takes some_time,' interrupted the Gryphon .

'-- you advance twice--'

' each with a lobster as a partner ! ' cried the Gryphon .

' of_course,' the mock turtle said: ' advance twice, set to partners--'

'-- change lobsters, and retire in same order,' continued the Gryphon .

' then, you_know,' the mock turtle went on, ' you throw the--'

' the lobsters ! ' shouted the Gryphon, with a bound into_the air .

'-- as far out to sea as_you_can--'

' swim after them ! ' screamed the Gryphon .

' turn a somersault in_the sea ! ' cried the mock turtle, capering wildly about .

' change lobster's again ! ' yelled the Gryphon at_the top of_its voice .

' back to land again, and_that's all the first figure,' said the mock turtle, suddenly dropping his voice; and_the two creatures, who had_been jumping about like mad things all this_time, sat down again very sadly and quietly, and looked at Alice .

' it must_be a very pretty dance,' said Alice timidly .

' would you like to_see a little of it ? ' said the mock turtle .

' very_much indeed,' said Alice .

' come, let's try the first figure ! ' said the mock turtle to_the Gryphon .' we_can do without lobsters, you_know . which shall sing ? '

'Oh, you sing,' said the Gryphon .'I've forgotten the words .'

so they began solemnly dancing round and round Alice, every now_and_then treading on her toes when_they passed too close, and waving their forepaws to mark the time, while the mock turtle sang this, very slowly and sadly:--

'" will_you walk a little faster ? " said awhiting to a snail ." there's a porpoise close behind us, and he's treading on my tail . see how eagerly the lobsters and_the turtles all advance ! they_are waiting on_the shingle-- will_you come and join the dance ?

will_you, won't you, will_you, won't you, will_you join the dance ? will_you, won't you, will_you, won't you, won't you join the dance ?

" you_can really have no notion how delightful it_will_be when_they take us up and throw us, with_the lobsters, out to sea ! " but the snail replied " too far, too far ! " and gave a look askance-- said he thanked the whiting kindly, but he_would_not join the dance .

would_not, could_not, would_not, could_not, would_not join the dance . would_not, could_not, would_not, could_not, could_not join the dance .

'" what matters it how far we go ? " his scaly friend replied ." there_is another shore, you_know, upon_the other side . the further off from England the nearer is to France-- then turn not pale, beloved snail, but come and join the dance .

will_you, won't you, will_you, won't you, will_you join the dance ? will_you, won't you, will_you, won't you, won't you join the dance ? "'

' thank_you, it's a very interesting dance to watch,' said Alice, feeling very_glad that_it_was over at last: ' and I do_so like that curious song about_the whiting ! '

'Oh, as_to_the whiting,' said the mock turtle, ' they-- you've seen them, of_course ? '

' yes,' said Alice, 'I've often seen them at dinn--' she checked herself hastily .

'I don't know where Dinn may_be,' said the mock turtle, ' but if_you've seen them so often, of_course you_know what they're like .'

'I believe so,' Alice replied thoughtfully .' they_have their tails in their mouths-- and_they're all over crumbs .'

' you're wrong about_the crumbs,' said the mock turtle: 'crumbs would all wash off in_the sea . but they_have their tails in their mouths; and_the reason is--' here the mock turtle yawned and shut his eyes .--' tell her about_the reason and all that,' he_said to_the Gryphon .

' the reason is,' said the Gryphon, ' that they_would go with_the lobsters to_the dance . so they got thrown out to sea . so they had to_fall a long way . so they got their tails fast in their mouths . so they couldn't get them out again . that's all .'

' thank_you,' said Alice, ' it's very interesting .I never knew so_much about awhiting before .'

' I_can tell you more than that, if_you like,' said the Gryphon .' do_you_know why it's called awhiting ? '

'I never thought about_it,' said Alice .' why ? '

' it does the boots and shoes .' the Gryphon replied very solemnly .

Alice was thoroughly puzzled .'Does the boots and shoes ! ' she repeated in awondering tone .

' why, what_are your shoes done with ? ' said the Gryphon .'I mean, what makes them so shiny ? '

Alice looked down at them, and considered a little before she gave her answer .' they're done with blacking, I believe .'

'Boots and shoes under the sea,' the Gryphon went on in a deep voice, ' are done with awhiting . now you_know .'

' and what_are they made of ? ' Alice asked in a tone of great curiosity .

'Soles and eels, of_course,' the Gryphon replied rather impatiently: ' any shrimp could_have told you that .'

' if I'd been the whiting,' said Alice, whose thoughts were still running on_the song, 'I'd have said to_the porpoise, " keep back, please: we don't want you with_us ! "'

' they were obliged to_have him with_them,' the mock turtle said: ' no wise fish would go anywhere without a porpoise .'

'Wouldn't it really ? ' said Alice in a tone of great surprise .

' of_course not,' said the mock turtle: ' why, if a fish came to_me, and told me he_was going a journey, i_should say " with what porpoise ? "'

'Don't you mean " purpose" ? ' said Alice .

'I mean what I_say,' the mock turtle replied in an offended tone . and_the Gryphon added ' come, let's hear some of your adventures .'

' I_could tell you my adventures--beginning from this_morning,' said Alice a little timidly: ' but it's no use going back to yesterday, because i_was a different person then .'

' explain all that,' said the mock turtle .

' no, no ! the adventures first,' said the Gryphon in an impatient tone: 'explanations take such a dreadful time .'

so Alice began telling them her adventures from_the time when she first saw the white rabbit . she was a little nervous about_it just at first, the two creatures got so close to her, one on each side, and opened their eyes and mouths so very wide, but she gained courage as she went on . her listeners were perfectly quiet till she got to_the part about her repeating ' you_are old, father William,' to_the caterpillar, and_the words all coming different, and then the mock turtle drew a long

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