Alice's Adventure in Wonderland by Lewis Carroll
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generally, just as she had got its neck nicely straightened out, and was going to_give the hedgehog a blow with its head, it would twist itself round and look up in her face, with_such a puzzled expression that she_could_not help bursting out laughing: and when she had got its head down, and was going to_begin again, it_was very provoking to_find that_the hedgehog had unrolled itself, and was in_the act of crawling away: besides all this, there_was generally a ridge or furrow in_the way wherever she wanted to send the hedgehog to, and, as_the doubled- up soldiers were always getting up and walking off to other parts of_the ground, Alice soon came to_the conclusion that_it_was a very difficult game indeed .

the players all played at once without waiting for turns, quarrelling all the while, and fighting for_the hedgehogs; and in a very short time the queen was in a furious passion, and went stamping about, and shouting ' off with_his head ! ' or ' off with her head ! ' about once in a minute .

Alice began to_feel very uneasy: to_be_sure, she had_not as_yet had any dispute with_the queen, but she knew that_it might happen any minute, ' and then,' thought she, ' what would become of me ? they're dreadfully fond of beheading people here; the great wonder is, that there's any_one left alive ! '

she was looking about for some way of escape, and wondering whether she_could get away without being seen, when she noticed a curious appearance in_the air: it puzzled her very_much at first, but, after watching it a minute or two, she made it out to_be a grin, and she said to herself ' it's the Cheshire Cat: now I_shall_have somebody to_talk to .'

' how are_you getting on ? ' said the Cat, as soon as_there_was mouth enough for_it to_speak with .

Alice waited till the eyes appeared, and then nodded .' it's no use speaking to_it,' she thought, ' till its ears have come, or at_least one_of_them .' in another minute the whole head appeared, and then Alice put down her flamingo, and began an account of_the game, feeling very_glad she had someone to listen to her . the Cat seemed to_think that there_was enough of it now in sight, and no more of it appeared .

'I don't think they play at all fairly,' Alice began, in rather acomplaining tone, ' and_they all quarrel so dreadfully one can't hear oneself speak-- and_they don't seem to_have any rules in_particular; at_least, if_there_are, nobody attends to_them-- and you've no idea how confusing it_is all the things being alive; for instance, there's the arch I've got to_go through next walking about at_the other end of_the ground-- and i_should_have croqueted the queen's hedgehog just now, only it ran away when it saw mine coming ! '

' how do_you like the queen ? ' said the Cat in a low voice .

' not at all,' said Alice: ' she's so extremely--' just then she noticed that_the queen was close behind her, listening: so she went on, '-- likely to win, that_it's hardly worth while finishing the game .'

the queen smiled and passed on .

' who_are you talking to ? ' said the king, going up_to Alice, and looking at_the Cat's head with great curiosity .

' it's a friend of_mine--a Cheshire Cat,' said Alice: ' allow me to introduce it .'

'I don't like the look of it at all,' said the king: ' however, it may kiss my hand if_it likes .'

'I'd rather not,' the Cat remarked .

'Don't be impertinent,' said the king, ' and don't look at me like that ! ' he got behind Alice as he spoke .

'A cat may look at a king,' said Alice .'I've read that in some book, but I don't remember where .'

' well, it must_be removed,' said the king very decidedly, and he_called the queen, who was passing at_the moment, ' my dear ! i_wish you_would_have this cat removed ! '

the queen had only_one way of settling all difficulties, great or small .' off with_his head ! ' she said, without even looking round .

'I'll fetch the executioner myself,' said the king eagerly, and he hurried off .

Alice thought she might as_well go back, and_see how the game was going on, as she heard the queen's voice in_the distance, screaming with passion . she had already heard her sentence three of_the players to_be executed for having missed their turns, and she did_not like the look of things at all, as_the game was in_such confusion that she never knew whether it_was her turn or not . so she went in search of her hedgehog .

the hedgehog was engaged in a fight with another hedgehog, which seemed to Alice an excellent opportunity for croqueting one_of_them with_the other: the only difficulty was, that her flamingo was gone across to_the other side of_the garden, where Alice could_see it trying in a helpless sort of way to fly up into a tree .

by_the_time she had caught the flamingo and brought it back, the fight was over, and both the hedgehogs were out of sight: ' but it doesn't matter much,' thought Alice, ' as all the arches are gone from_this side of_the ground .' so she tucked it away under her arm, that_it might_not escape again, and went back for a little more conversation with her friend .

when she got back to_the Cheshire Cat, she was surprised to_find quite a large crowd collected round it: there_was a dispute going on between_the executioner, the king, and_the queen, who were all talking at once, while all the rest were quite silent, and looked very uncomfortable .

the moment Alice appeared, she was appealed to by all three to settle the question, and_they repeated their arguments to her, though, as_they all spoke at once, she found it very hard indeed to_make out exactly what they said .

the executioner's argument was, that you couldn't cut off a head unless there_was a body to cut it off from: that he had never had to_do such a thing before, and he wasn't going to_begin at his time of life .

the king's argument was, that anything that had a head could_be beheaded, and_that you weren't to_talk nonsense .

the queen's argument was, that if something wasn't done about_it in less_than no time she'd have everybody executed, all round .( it was_this last remark that had made the whole party look so grave and anxious .)

Alice could think of nothing else to_say but ' it belongs to_the duchess: you'd better ask her about_it .'

' she's in prison,' the queen said to_the executioner: ' fetch her here .' and_the executioner went off like an arrow .

the Cat's head began fading away the moment he_was gone, and, by_the_time he had come back with_the duchess, it had entirely disappeared; so the king and_the executioner ran wildly up and down looking for_it, while the rest of_the party went back to_the game .

chapter IX: the mock turtle's story

' you_can't think how glad I_am to_see you again, you dear old thing ! ' said the duchess, as she tucked her arm affectionately into Alice's, and_they walked off together .

Alice was very_glad to_find her in_such a pleasant temper, and thought to herself that perhaps it_was only the pepper that had made her so savage when_they met in_the kitchen .

' when I'm a duchess,' she said to herself, ( not in a very hopeful tone though), 'I won't have any pepper in my kitchen at all . soup does very_well without-- maybe it's always pepper that makes people hot- tempered,' she went on, very_much pleased at having found out a new kind of rule, ' and vinegar that makes them sour-- and camomile that makes them bitter-- and-- and barley- sugar and such things that make children sweet- tempered .I only wish people knew that: then they wouldn't be so stingy about_it, you_know--'

she had quite forgotten the duchess by_this_time, and was a little startled when she heard her voice close to her ear .' you're thinking about something, my dear, and_that makes you forget to_talk . I_can't tell you just now what the moral of_that is, but I_shall remember it in a bit .'

' perhaps it hasn't one,' Alice ventured to remark .

'Tut, tut, child ! ' said the duchess .' everything's got a moral, if only you_can find it .' and she squeezed herself up closer to Alice's side as she spoke .

Alice did_not much like keeping so close to her: first, because the duchess was very ugly; and secondly, because she was exactly the right height to rest her chin upon Alice's shoulder, and it_was an uncomfortably sharp chin . however, she did_not like to_be rude, so she bore it as_well as she_could .

' the game's going on rather better now,' she said, by way of keeping up the conversation a little .

Tis so,' said the duchess: ' and_the moral of_that is--"Oh, 'tis love, 'tis love, that makes the world go round ! "'

' somebody said,' Alice whispered, ' that_it's done by everybody minding their own business ! '

'Ah, well ! it means much the same thing,' said the duchess, digging her sharp little chin into Alice's shoulder as she added, ' and_the moral of_that is--" take care of_the sense, and_the sounds will take care of themselves ."'

' how fond she_is of finding morals in things ! ' Alice thought to herself .

'I dare say you're wondering why I don't put my arm round your waist,' the duchess said after a pause: ' the reason is, that I'm doubtful about_the temper of your flamingo . shall I try the experiment ? '

' he might bite,' Alice cautiously replied, not feeling at all anxious to_have the experiment tried .

' very true,' said the duchess: 'flamingoes and mustard both bite . and_the moral of_that is--"Birds of a feather flock together ."'

' only mustard isn't a bird,' Alice remarked .

' right, as usual,' said the duchess: ' what a clear way you_have of putting things ! '

' it's a mineral, i_think,' said Alice .

' of_course_it_is,' said the duchess, who seemed ready to agree to everything that Alice said; ' there's a large mustard- mine near here . and_the moral of_that is--" the more there_is of_mine, the less there_is of yours ."'

'Oh, I_know ! ' exclaimed Alice, who had_not attended to_this last remark, ' it's a vegetable . it doesn't look like one, but it_is .'

'I quite agree with_you,' said the duchess; ' and_the moral of_that is--" be what you_would seem_to_be"-- or if_you'd like it put more simply--" never imagine yourself not to_be otherwise than what it might appear to others that what you were or might_have_been was not otherwise than what you had_been would_have appeared to_them to_be otherwise ."'

' i_think i_should understand that better,' Alice said very politely, ' if I had it written down: but I_can't quite follow it as_you say it .'

' that's nothing to what I could_say if I chose,' the duchess replied, in a pleased tone .

' pray don't trouble yourself to_say it any longer than that,' said Alice .

'Oh, don't talk about trouble ! ' said the duchess .'I make you a present of everything I've said as_yet .'

'A cheap sort of present ! ' thought Alice .'I'm glad they don't give birthday presents like that ! ' but she did_not venture to_say it out loud .

'Thinking again ? ' the duchess asked, with another dig of her sharp little chin .

'I've a right to_think,' said Alice sharply, for she was beginning to_feel a little worried .

' just about as_much right,' said the duchess, ' as pigs have to fly; and_the m--'

but here, to Alice's great surprise, the duchess's voice died away, even in_the middle of her favourite word ' moral,' and_the arm that was linked into hers began to tremble .Alice looked up, and there stood the queen in front of_them, with her arms folded, frowning like athunderstorm .

'A fine day, your majesty ! ' the duchess began in a low, weak voice .

' now, I give_you fair warning,' shouted the queen, stamping on_the ground as she spoke; ' either you or your head must_be off, and_that in about half no time ! take your choice ! '

the duchess took her choice, and was gone in a moment .

' let's go on with_the game,' the queen said to Alice; and Alice was too_much frightened to_say a word, but slowly followed her back to_the croquet- ground .

the other guests had taken advantage of_the queen's absence, and were resting in_the shade: however, the moment they saw her, they hurried back to_the game, the queen merely remarking that a moment's delay would cost them their lives .

all the time they were playing the queen never left off quarrelling with_the other players, and shouting ' off with_his head ! ' or ' off with her head ! ' those whom she sentenced were taken into custody by_the soldiers, who of_course had to leave off being arches to do_this, so_that by_the end of half an hour or so there were no arches left, and all the players, except the king, the queen, and Alice, were in custody and under sentence of execution .

then the queen left off, quite out of breath, and said to Alice, ' have_you seen the mock turtle yet ? '

' no,' said Alice .'I don't even know what a mock turtle is .'

' it's the thing mock turtle soup is made from,' said the queen .

'I never saw one, or heard of one,' said Alice .

' come on, then,' said the queen, ' and he shall tell you his history,'

as_they walked off together, Alice heard the king say in a low voice, to_the company generally, ' you_are all pardoned .' ' come, that's a good thing ! ' she said to herself, for she had felt quite

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