Alice's Adventure in Wonderland by Lewis Carroll

Alice's Adventure in Wonderland by Lewis Carroll
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arms

' and now which_is which ? ' she said herself , and nibbled little of_the right - hand bit to_try the effect : the next moment she felt violent blow underneath her chin : had struck her foot !

she was good_deal frightened by_this very sudden change , but she felt that there_was time to_be lost , she was shrinking rapidly ; she set work once eat some_of_the other bit her chin was pressed closely against her foot , that hardly room open her mouth ; but she did last , and managed swallow morsel of_the lefthand bit

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' come , head 's free last ! ' said Alice tone delight , which changed into alarm another moment , when she found that her shoulders were nowhere to_be found : all she_could see , when she looked down , was immense length neck , which seemed rise like stalk out sea green leaves that lay far below her

' what can all that green stuff ? ' said Alice ' and where have shoulders got ? and oh, poor hands, how is_it I_can 't see you ? ' she was moving them about she spoke , but result seemed to_follow , except little shaking among_the distant green leaves

there seemed to_be chance getting her hands up_to her head , she tried to_get her head down to_them , and was delighted to_find that her neck would bend about easily any direction , like serpent she had just succeeded curving down into graceful zigzag , and was going dive among_the leaves, which she found to_be nothing but the tops of_the trees under which she had_been wandering, when sharp hiss made her draw back hurry : large pigeon had flown into her face , and was beating her violently with its wings

' serpent ! ' screamed the pigeon

'I'm not serpent ! ' said Alice indignantly ' let alone ! '

' serpent , I_say again ! ' repeated the pigeon , but more subdued tone , and added with kind sob , 'I've tried every way , and nothing seems suit them ! '

'I haven 't the least idea what you 're talking about ,' said Alice

'I've tried the roots trees, and I've tried banks, and I've tried hedges,' the pigeon went , without attending her ; ' but those serpents ! there 's pleasing them ! '

Alice was more and more puzzled , but she thought there_was use saying anything more till the pigeon had finished

' as_if wasn't trouble enough hatching the eggs,' said the pigeon ; ' but I_must_be on_the look - out for serpents night and day ! why , I haven 't had wink sleep these three weeks ! '

'I'm very sorry you 've been annoyed ,' said Alice, who was beginning to_see its meaning

' and just I'd taken the highest tree in_the wood ,' continued the pigeon , raising its voice shriek , ' and just i_was thinking i_should_be free of_them last , they_must needs come wriggling down from_the sky ! Ugh, serpent ! '

' but I'm not serpent , I tell you ! ' said Alice 'I'm a--I'm a--'

' well ! what_are you ? ' said the pigeon ' I_can_see you 're trying invent something ! '

'I--I'm little girl ,' said Alice, rather doubtfully , she remembered the number changes she had gone through_that day

'A likely story indeed ! ' said the pigeon tone of_the deepest contempt 'I've seen good_many little girls my_time , but never one with_such neck as_that ! , ! you 're serpent ; and there 's use denying I suppose you 'll telling next that you never tasted egg ! '

' I_have tasted eggs, certainly ,' said Alice, who was very truthful child ; ' but little girls eat eggs quite as_much serpents , you_know '

'I don't believe ,' said the pigeon ; ' but they_do , why then they 're kind serpent , that 's all I_can_say '

this_was such new idea Alice, that she was quite silent for minute two , which gave the pigeon the opportunity adding, ' you 're looking for eggs, I_know that well enough ; and what does matter to_me whether you 're little girl serpent ? '

' matters good_deal to_me ,' said Alice hastily ; ' but I'm not looking for eggs, happens; and i_was , I shouldn't want yours : I don't like them raw '

' well , off , then ! ' said the pigeon sulky tone , settled down again into its nest Alice crouched down among_the trees as_well she_could , for her neck kept getting entangled branches, and every now_and_then she had stop and untwist after while she remembered that she still held the pieces mushroom her hands, and she set work very carefully , nibbling first one and then at_the other , and growing sometimes taller and sometimes shorter , until she had succeeded bringing herself down her usual height

it_was so_long since she had_been anything near the right size , that_it felt quite strange first ; but she got used to_it in_a_few_minutes , and began talking herself , usual ' come , there 's half plan done now ! how puzzling all these changes are ! I'm never sure what I'm going to_be , from one minute another ! however , I've got back right size : the next thing , to_get into that beautiful garden -- how is_that to_be_done , I wonder ? ' she said this , she came suddenly upon open place , with little house in_it about four feet high ' whoever lives there ,' thought Alice, ' 'll never to_come upon them this size : why , i_should frighten them out of_their wits ! ' she began nibbling at_the righthand bit again , and did_not venture to_go near the house till she had brought herself down nine inches high

chapter : Pig and pepper

for minute two she stood looking at_the house , and wondering what to_do next , when suddenly footman livery came running out_of_the wood --( she considered him to_be footman because he_was livery : otherwise , judging his face only , she would_have called him fish )-- and rapped loudly at_the door with_his knuckles it_was opened another footman livery , with round face , and large eyes like frog ; and both footmen, Alice noticed , had powdered hair that curled all over their heads she felt very curious to_know what it_was all about , and crept little way out_of_the wood listen

the fish - footman began producing from under his arm great letter , nearly large himself , and this handed over to_the other , saying, solemn tone , ' for_the duchess invitation from_the queen play croquet ' the frog - footman repeated, in_the same solemn tone , only changing the order of_the words little , ' queen for_the duchess play croquet '

then they both bowed low , and their curls got entangled together

Alice laughed so_much at_this , that she had run back into_the wood for fear of_their hearing her ; and when she next peeped out the fish - footman was gone , and_the other was sitting on_the ground near the door , staring stupidly sky

Alice went timidly up_to_the door , and knocked

' there 's sort use knocking,' said the footman , ' and_that for two reasons first , because I'm on_the same side of_the door as_you_are ; secondly , because they 're making such noise inside , one could possibly hear you ' and certainly there_was most extraordinary noise going within --a constant howling and sneezing, and every now_and_then great crash , as_if dish kettle had_been broken pieces

' please , then ,' said Alice, ' how am I to_get ? '

' there_might_be some sense your knocking,' the footman went without attending her , ' if_we had the door between_us for instance , if_you were inside , you_might knock , and I_could let you out , you_know ' he_was looking into_the sky all the time he_was speaking, and this Alice thought decidedly uncivil ' but perhaps he_can 't help ,' she said herself ; ' his eyes are very nearly at_the top of_his head but any rate might answer questions -- how am I to_get ? ' she repeated, aloud

' I_shall sit here ,' the footman remarked, ' till tomorrow --'

at_this moment the door of_the house opened , and large plate came skimming out , straight at_the footman 's head : just grazed his nose , and broke pieces against one_of_the trees behind him

'-- next_day , maybe ,' the footman continued in_the same tone , exactly as_if nothing had happened

' how am I to_get ? ' asked Alice again , louder tone

' are_you to_get all ? ' said the footman ' that 's the first question , you_know '

it_was , no_doubt : only Alice did_not like to_be told ' 's really dreadful ,' she muttered herself , ' the way all the creatures argue 's enough drive one crazy ! '

the footman seemed to_think this good opportunity for repeating his remark , with variations ' I_shall sit here ,' he_said , ' and off , for days and days '

' but what am I to_do ? ' said Alice

' anything you like ,' said the footman , and began whistling

'Oh, there 's use talking him ,' said Alice desperately : ' 's perfectly idiotic ! ' and she opened the door and went

the door led right into large kitchen , which_was full smoke from one end to_the other : the duchess was sitting three -legged stool in_the middle , nursing baby ; the cook was leaning over the fire , stirring large cauldron which seemed to_be full soup

' there 's certainly too_much pepper in_that soup ! ' Alice said herself , as_well she_could for sneezing

there_was certainly too_much in_the air even the duchess sneezed occasionally ; and for_the baby , it_was sneezing and howling alternately without moment 's pause the only things in_the kitchen that did_not sneeze , were the cook, and large cat which_was sitting on_the hearth and grinning from ear ear

' please would you tell ,' said Alice, little timidly , for she was not quite_sure whether it_was good manners for her to_speak first , ' why your cat grins like that ? '

' 's Cheshire cat,' said the duchess , ' and_that 's why Pig ! '

she said the last word with_such sudden violence that Alice quite jumped ; but she saw another moment that_it_was addressed to_the baby , and not her , she took courage , and went again :--

'I didn't know that Cheshire cats always grinned ; in_fact , I didn't know that cats could grin '

' they all can ,' said the duchess ; ' and most 'em '

'I don't know any that_do ,' Alice said very politely , feeling quite pleased to_have got into conversation

' you don't know much ,' said the duchess ; ' and_that 's fact '

Alice did_not all like the tone of_this remark , and thought would_be as_well introduce some other subject conversation while she was trying fix one , the cook took the cauldron soup off the fire , and once set work throwing everything within her reach at_the duchess and_the baby -- the fire -irons came first ; then followed shower saucepans, plates, and dishes the duchess took notice of_them even when_they hit her ; and_the baby was howling so_much already , that_it_was quite impossible to_say whether the blows hurt not

'Oh, please mind what you 're doing ! ' cried Alice, jumping and down agony terror 'Oh, there goes his precious nose '; unusually large saucepan flew by_it , and very nearly carried off

' everybody minded their own business ,' the duchess said hoarse growl , ' the world would round deal faster than does '

' which would_not_be advantage ,' said Alice, who felt very_glad to_get opportunity showing off little her knowledge ' just think what work would make with_the day and night ! you_see the earth takes twenty-four hours to_turn round its axis --'

'Talking axes,' said the duchess , ' chop off her head ! '

Alice glanced rather anxiously at_the cook, to_see she meant take_the hint ; but the cook was busily stirring the soup , and seemed not to_be listening, she went again : 'Twenty-four hours, i_think ; is_it twelve ? I--'

'Oh, don't bother ,' said the duchess ; 'I never could abide figures ! ' and with_that she began nursing her child again , singing sort lullaby to_it she did , and giving violent shake at_the end every line :

' speak roughly your little boy , and beat him when sneezes only does annoy , because he_knows teases '

chorus

( in_which_the cook and_the baby joined ):--

'Wow ! wow ! wow ! '

while the duchess sang the second verse of_the song , she kept tossing the baby violently and down , and_the poor little thing howled , that Alice could hardly hear the words:--

'I speak severely boy , I beat him when sneezes; for he_can thoroughly enjoy the pepper when pleases ! '

chorus

'Wow ! wow ! wow ! '

' here ! you_may nurse bit , if_you like ! ' the duchess said Alice, flinging the baby her she spoke ' I_must and get ready play croquet with_the queen ,' and she hurried out_of_the room the cook threw frying- pan after her she went out , but just missed her

Alice caught the baby with some difficulty , it_was queer - shaped little creature , and held out its arms and legs all directions, ' just like

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