Alice's Adventure in Wonderland by Lewis Carroll
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.' ( and, as_you_might like to_try the thing yourself, some winter day, i_will tell you how the dodo managed it .)

first it marked out a race- course, in a sort of circle, (' the exact shape doesn't matter,' it said,) and then all the party were placed along the course, here and there . there_was no ' one, two, three, and away,' but they began running when_they liked, and left off when_they liked, so that_it_was not easy to_know when_the race was over . however, when_they had_been running half an hour or so, and were quite dry again, the dodo suddenly called out ' the race is over ! ' and_they all crowded round it, panting, and asking, ' but who has won ? '

this question the dodo could_not answer without a great deal of thought, and it sat for_a_long_time with one finger pressed upon its forehead ( the position in_which_you usually see Shakespeare, in_the pictures of him), while the rest waited in silence . at last the dodo said, ' everybody has won, and all must_have prizes .'

' but who_is to_give the prizes ? ' quite a chorus of voices asked .

' why, she, of_course,' said the dodo, pointing to Alice with one finger; and_the whole party at once crowded round her, calling out in a confused way, 'Prizes ! Prizes ! '

Alice had no idea what to_do, and in despair she put her hand in her pocket, and pulled out a box of comfits, ( luckily the salt water had_not got into_it), and handed them round as prizes . there_was exactly one a- piece all round .

' but she must_have a prize herself, you_know,' said the mouse .

' of_course,' the dodo replied very gravely .' what else have_you got in your pocket ? ' he went on, turning to Alice .

' only a thimble,' said Alice sadly .

' hand it over here,' said the dodo .

then they all crowded round her once more, while the dodo solemnly presented the thimble, saying ' we beg your acceptance of_this elegant thimble'; and, when it had finished this short speech, they all cheered .

Alice thought the whole thing very absurd, but they all looked so grave that she did_not dare to laugh; and, as she_could_not think of anything to_say, she simply bowed, and took the thimble, looking as solemn as she_could .

the next thing was to eat the comfits: this caused some noise and confusion, as_the large birds complained that they_could_not taste theirs, and_the small ones choked and had to_be patted on_the back . however, it_was over at last, and_they sat down again in a ring, and begged the mouse to_tell them something more .

' you promised to_tell me your history, you_know,' said Alice, ' and why it_is you hate--C and D,' she added in a whisper, half afraid that_it would_be offended again .

' mine is a long and a sad tale ! ' said the mouse, turning to Alice, and sighing .

' it_is a long tail, certainly,' said Alice, looking down with wonder at_the mouse's tail' ' but why do_you call it sad ? ' and she kept on puzzling about_it while the mouse was speaking, so_that her idea of_the tale was something like this:-- 

 
 '
fury 
said 
to
a
mouse, 
that 
he met 
in_the 
house, "
let_us 
both 
go 
to 
law: 
i_will 
prosecute 
you
.--
come, I'll 
take 
no 
denial; 
we_must_have
a
trial: 
for 
really 
this_morning I've 
nothing 
to_do
." 
said 
the 
mouse 
to_the 
cur, "
such
a
trial, 
dear_Sir, 
with 
no 
jury 
or 
judge, 
would_be wasting 
our 
breath
." "I'll 
be 
judge, I'll 
be 
jury," 
said 
cunning 
old 
fury: "I'll 
try 
the 
whole 
cause, 
and 
condemn 
you 
to 
death
."

' you_are_not attending ! ' said the mouse to Alice severely .' what_are you thinking of ? '

'I beg your pardon,' said Alice very humbly: ' you had got to_the fifth bend, i_think ? '

'I had_not ! ' cried the mouse, sharply and very angrily .

'A knot ! ' said Alice, always ready to_make herself useful, and looking anxiously about her .'Oh, do let me help to undo it ! '

' I_shall do nothing of_the sort,' said the mouse, getting up and walking away .' you insult me by talking such nonsense ! '

'I didn't mean it ! ' pleaded poor Alice .' but you're so easily offended, you_know ! '

the mouse only growled in reply .

' please come back and finish your story ! ' Alice called after it; and_the others all joined in chorus, ' yes, please do ! ' but the mouse only shook its head impatiently, and walked a little quicker .

' what a pity it wouldn't stay ! ' sighed the Lory, as_soon_as it_was quite out of sight; and an old crab took the opportunity of saying to her daughter 'Ah, my dear ! let this be a lesson to_you never to lose your temper ! ' ' hold your tongue, MA ! ' said the young crab, a little snappishly .' you're enough to_try the patience of an oyster ! '

' i_wish I had our Dinah here, I_know I_do ! ' said Alice aloud, addressing nobody in_particular .' she'd soon fetch it back ! '

' and who_is Dinah, if I_might venture to ask_the question ? ' said the Lory .

Alice replied eagerly, for she was always ready to_talk about her pet: 'Dinah's our cat . and she's such a capital one for catching mice you_can't think ! and oh, i_wish you_could_see her after_the birds ! why, she'll eat a little bird as_soon_as look at it ! '

this speech caused a remarkable sensation among_the party . some_of_the birds hurried off at once: one the old magpie began wrapping itself up very carefully, remarking, 'I really must_be getting home; the night- air doesn't suit my throat ! ' and a canary called out in atrembling voice to its children, ' come away, my dears ! it's high time you were all in bed ! ' on various pretexts they all moved off, and Alice was soon left alone .

' i_wish I hadn't mentioned Dinah ! ' she said to herself in a melancholy tone .' nobody seems to like her, down here, and I'm sure she's the best cat in_the_world ! Oh, my dear Dinah ! I wonder if I_shall ever see you any more ! ' and here poor Alice began to cry again, for she felt very lonely and low- spirited . in a little while, however, she again heard a little pattering of footsteps in_the distance, and she looked up eagerly, half hoping that_the mouse had changed his mind, and was coming back to finish his story .

chapter IV: the rabbit Sends in a little bill

it was_the white rabbit, trotting slowly back again, and looking anxiously about as it went, as_if it had lost something; and she heard it muttering to itself ' the duchess ! the duchess ! Oh my dear paws ! Oh my fur and whiskers ! she' ll get me executed, as sure as ferrets are ferrets ! where can I_have dropped them, I wonder ? ' Alice guessed in a moment that_it_was looking for_the fan and_the pair of white kid gloves, and she very_good-naturedly began hunting about for_them, but they were nowhere to_be seen-- everything seemed to_have changed since her swim in_the pool, and_the great hall, with_the glass table and_the little door, had vanished completely .

very_soon the rabbit noticed Alice, as she went hunting about, and called out to her in an angry tone, ' why, Mary Ann, what_are you doing out here ? run home this moment, and fetch me a pair of gloves and a fan ! quick, now ! ' and Alice was so_much frightened that she ran off at once in_the direction it pointed to, without trying to explain the mistake it had made .

' he_took me for_his housemaid,' she said to herself as she ran .' how surprised he'll be when he finds out who I_am ! but I'd better take him his fan and gloves-- that_is, if I_can find them .' as she said this, she came upon a neat little house, on_the door of which_was a bright brass plate with_the name 'W . rabbit' engraved upon it . she went in without knocking, and hurried upstairs, in great fear lest she should meet the real Mary Ann, and be turned out_of_the house before she had found the fan and gloves .

' how queer it seems,' Alice said to herself, ' to_be going messages for a rabbit ! I suppose Dinah'll be sending me on messages next ! ' and she began fancying the sort of thing that_would happen: '" miss Alice ! come here directly, and get ready for your walk ! " "Coming in a minute, nurse ! but I've got to_see that_the mouse doesn't get out ." only I don't think,' Alice went on, ' that_they' d let Dinah stop in_the house if_it began ordering people about like that ! '

by_this_time she had found her way into a tidy little room with a table in_the window, and on_it ( as she had hoped) a fan and two_or_three pairs of tiny white kid gloves: she took up the fan and a pair of_the gloves, and was just going to leave the room, when her eye fell upon a little bottle that stood near the looking- glass . there_was no label this_time with_the words ' drink me,' but nevertheless she uncorked it and put it to her lips .' I_know something interesting is sure to happen,' she said to herself, ' whenever I eat or drink anything; so I'll just see what this bottle does . I_do hope it'll make me grow large again, for really I'm quite tired of being such a tiny little thing ! '

it did so indeed, and much sooner than she had expected: before she had drunk half the bottle, she found her head pressing against the ceiling, and had to stoop to save her neck from being broken . she hastily put down the bottle, saying to herself ' that's quite enough-- I_hope I shan't grow any more-- as_it_is, I_can't get out at_the door-- I_do wish I hadn't drunk quite so_much ! '

alas ! it_was too late to wish that ! she went on growing, and growing, and very_soon had to kneel down on_the floor: in another minute there_was not even room for_this, and she tried the effect of lying down with one elbow against the door, and_the other arm curled round her head . still she went on growing, and, as a last resource, she put one arm out_of_the window, and one foot up the chimney, and said to herself ' now I_can do no more, whatever happens . what_will become of me ? '

luckily for Alice, the little magic bottle had now had its full effect, and she grew no larger: still it_was very uncomfortable, and, as there seemed to_be no sort of chance of her ever getting out_of_the room again, no wonder she felt unhappy .

' it_was much pleasanter at home,' thought poor Alice, ' when one wasn't always growing larger and smaller, and being ordered about by mice and rabbits .I almost wish I hadn't gone down that rabbit- hole-- and yet-- and yet-- it's rather curious, you_know, this sort of life ! I_do wonder what can_have happened to_me ! when I used to read fairy-tales, I fancied that kind of thing never happened, and now here I_am in_the middle of one ! there ought_to_be a book written about me, that there ought ! and when I grow up, I'll write one-- but I'm grown up now,' she added in a sorrowful tone; ' at_least there's no room to grow up any more here .'

' but then,' thought Alice, ' shall I never get any older than I_am now ? that' ll be a comfort, one_way-- never to_be an old woman-- but then-- always to_have lessons to learn ! Oh, I shouldn't like that ! '

'Oh, you foolish Alice ! ' she answered herself .' how can_you learn lessons in here ? why, there's hardly room for_you, and no room at all for any lesson-books ! '

and so she went on, taking first one side and then the other, and making quite a conversation of it altogether; but after a few_minutes she heard a voice outside, and stopped to listen .

'Mary Ann ! Mary Ann ! ' said the voice .' fetch me my gloves this moment ! ' then came a little pattering of feet on_the stairs .Alice knew it was_the rabbit coming to look for her, and she trembled till she shook the house, quite forgetting that she was now about a thousand times as large as_the rabbit, and had no reason to_be afraid of it .

presently the rabbit came up_to_the door, and tried to open it; but, as_the door opened inwards, and Alice's elbow was pressed hard against it, that attempt proved a failure .Alice heard it say to itself ' then I'll go round and get in at_the window .'

' that you won't' thought Alice, and, after waiting till she fancied she heard the rabbit just under the window, she suddenly spread out her hand, and made a snatch in_the air . she did_not get hold of anything, but she heard a little shriek and a fall, and a crash of broken glass, from_which she concluded that_it_was just possible it had fallen into a cucumber- frame, or something of_the sort .

next came an angry voice-- the rabbit's--' pat ! pat ! where are_you ? ' and then a voice she had never heard before, ' sure then I'm here ! Digging for apples, yer honour ! '

'Digging for apples, indeed ! ' said the rabbit angrily .' here ! come and help me out of_this ! ' (Sounds of more broken glass .)

' now tell me, pat, what's that in_the window ? '

' sure, it's an arm, yer honour ! ' ( he pronounced it 'arrum .')

' an arm, you goose ! who ever saw one that size ? why, it fills the whole window ! '

' sure, it does, yer honour: but it's an arm for all that .'

' well, it's got no business there, at any rate: go and take it away ! '

there_was a long silence after_this, and Alice could only hear whispers now_and_then; such as, ' sure, I don't like it, yer honour, at all, at all ! ' ' do as I tell you, you coward ! ' and at last she spread out her hand again,

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